One Day I'll Find You
by 6Dylan9
Summary: Buffy's life takes a different turn when she's faced with her inner most feelings. Buffy/Faith. Beginning of Season 5.
1. Chapter 1

**Timeline:** Beginning of Season 5.

This fic is kind of a crossover with Tru Calling, but Tru does not work in a morgue or hear dead people.

**Femslash. **

Chapter One

The sound of feet scurrying towards her caught Buffy's attention as she strolled around the dusty warehouse soon to be full of art.

"Miss Summers, could you please tell your sister that the painting she's poking at is a very expensive piece of art? She doesn't seem to hear me when I ask her not to do it, and your mother is busy on the phone," a small man in a bright yellow shirt asked as he gripped tightly to his clipboard.

Buffy sighed and nodded, turning her attention to Dawn who was smirking as she leaned next to the wall by the painting in question. She made her way over to her and grabbed her by the arm, paying no attention to Dawn's little squeal.

"Dawn, if I have to kick your butt in public it's gonna look really stupid," Buffy said. "Do you want to look really stupid?"

Dawn shook her head and pulled her arm free from Buffy's grip.

"I'm bored," Dawn whined. "Isn't mom done yet?"

"No, she's not, so grow up," Buffy replied. "I'm sick of babysitting you."

They'd all taken the trip to Los Angeles as a family in order to show support for Joyce. She'd been given a prestigious art exhibition to set up, and needed to be there for at least a week. Buffy was due to catch the bus back after only a night there, but Joyce and Dawn were going to stay on in the hotel until the exhibition was over. That was the plan anyway. Buffy was happy to come along overnight, but she wanted to get back to Sunnydale as fast as possible.

Buffy wasn't much of a fan of LA, especially these days. Her last visit hadn't been a pleasant one as she'd fought with the man she once believed she'd love forever, and witnessed the dark shell that had once been her fellow slayer Faith. The memories were harsh, and ones she tried not to think about too often. It was too hard believing Angel could denounce her so easily, and far too painful remembering the hollow look in Faith's eyes and the way she had told Faith that she never wanted to hear her apology.

That had been wrong; Buffy knew it. She felt it. Buffy realised now that she should have listened, even if she could never forgive Faith or understand her reasons. It was too late now. Faith was in jail, her charges not as harsh as they probably should have been due to lack of evidence, but she was looking at over a year in custody. Buffy wouldn't visit. She had no plans to visit the past. That part of her life was over and Faith was gone from it.

She wanted to get home, back to the relative safety of her friends and her boyfriend Riley. It was bad enough she had to share a hotel room with Dawn that night; she didn't particularly want to spend all day with her too. But she was stuck babysitting as her mom took phone calls and delegated, and did what she had to do. It was the least she could do for her mom considering how busy she'd been lately at work. Buffy at least had the prospect of some time alone, without babysitting duties, when she got back. There was quality time to be had with Riley. In fact, if there wasn't any quality time Buffy suspected the relationship wouldn't last the week.

Riley had expressed concern that they were drifting apart. It's something Buffy could see herself, but hadn't felt completely compelled to fix. Maybe it was just time for them to part. She didn't know. There were reasons she liked him and wanted to stay with him, but there were also reasons to allow the drift to happen.

Buffy felt like her life was taking a new turn. She couldn't pinpoint why, but things felt different. She was doing well at college, finally finding her groove there. Her friends were all growing into interesting people and she wanted to be part of that. Buffy didn't want to be defined by being a slayer, even if she did feel more attached to that part of herself than ever before.

It felt like something had to change, or give, or break. Buffy just wasn't sure what it was.

"Buffy, would you mind going out to pick up some lunch for us? I just haven't got time," Joyce called from the far end of the room.

Buffy nodded, then narrowed her eyes at Dawn when it looked like she was about to join her.

"I'll go alone, thanks," Buffy pointed out. "I'm sure mom could use your help. . .yunno, moving stuff around."

"Do I look like a person that moves things?" Dawn griped, her arms being flung in the air as Buffy turned and left. "That's so not fair. . .you're the one with freaky biceps, not me."

Buffy heard the little stomp as she left the building and smiled up into the bright blue sky. She had money in her pocket to get lunch, and the day was warm and clear. If only she could feel better about being in the city she vowed never to come back to. It was only one day though, and she had no plans to bump into Angel or any of his followers. She had briefly considered dropping in on Cordelia just to say hi, but the moment had passed. Too much water. Too much bridge. Some things were best left lying where they'd landed for a while. For a long while.

Buffy took a positive breath and looked both ways up and down the street, hoping to spy someplace nearby that she could get lunch. It was a fairly busy area. There were shops and coffee bars and people going about their business. The new gallery Joyce was currently in charge of was practically right in the middle of it all, leaving Buffy with no option but to pick left or right and hope for the best. She turned left, about to wander that way, but then stopped abruptly and changed direction. She'd learned to always follow her instincts, and they were definitely telling her right was the best way to go. The fact she could smell food that way was also a factor.

Before long Buffy found herself outside a delicatessen with a range of lunch type foods. It smelled pretty good, so she decided to go in and take a look at what was on offer.

It didn't take her long to place an order comprising of everything she liked, and pretty much everything that Dawn hated. As her order was going to take a little while to process she decided to take advantage of the time alone by taking a seat at one of the tables outside, a cool glass of coke in hand.

Buffy had never been much of a people watcher. She'd always felt too rushed; too caught up in her own little world to wonder about anybody else's. Trying it out for size, she relaxed into a brightly colored chair under the shade of an umbrella that stuck high out of the middle of the table, and sipped at her coke while trying not to judge people for wearing the wrong shoes, or for having silly hair or weird looking children.

As she was finally unwinding, a mouth full of deliciously cold coke, she spotted a waitress leaving the deli to clear tables not too far from her. Sputtering and coughing - trying to swallow her coke and not spit it out for the amusement of the few other customers - Buffy swiped at her eyes. She couldn't quite believe what she was seeing.

The waitress was Faith.

Her hair was slightly lighter and bouncier, and she looked like she weighed a little more, but the face, the walk, her dimples as she smiled; it had to be her. But it couldn't be, she was in jail. She was a psycho and not waiting tables at a quaint little deli just where Buffy happened to be picking up lunch. Surely.

Buffy studied her, every movement as she wiped at the tables and smiled cheerily at the customers. She watched the long brown hair be pulled up over a small ear as she bent to pick up something from the floor; her body moving in such a familiar way. Buffy could feel her insides twisting in knots and she wanted to throw herself across the tables and grab Faith and shake her; ask her what she thought she was doing. She wanted to get up and walk away, pretend that she'd never even seen her. She wanted to do a hundred different things, but she couldn't seem to move.

She was stuck to her chair - just looking - her hand gripping the chilled glass in front of her almost hard enough to smash it into pieces; no more than a few feet between her and Faith.

Holding her breath, feeling stupid for not knowing how she should be reacting, Buffy tried to catch Faith's eye, hoping to leave the reacting to her. When Faith eventually looked her way, her dark eyes meeting Buffy's briefly, Buffy saw no sign of recognition. There was nothing in Faith's eyes that said she knew Buffy. All she did was smile slightly, then make her way back into the deli. If it was Faith, then something strange was going on.

Buffy looked around, wondering if she could follow her and not be noticed. She knew Faith would probably run, and that would cause a scene. There was also the possibility she was going crazy and hadn't seen Faith at all, and that kept Buffy firmly seated in the plastic chair. She needed confirmation that she was still in charge of all her faculties.

Digging into her pocket, Buffy pulled out her cell phone. She flipped it open and hit speed dial, direct to Willow's dorm she shared with Tara. As soon as Willow said hello, Buffy thought twice about telling her who she'd just seen. Buffy didn't want to worry Willow in any way, but she was her only hope right now to find out what was going on.

"Hey, Will," Buffy said, as cheerily as she could. "You still know computers don't you?"

Willow chuckled and answered, "Yep, I'm pretty sure I still know what a computer is. Unless they changed them, or made them transparent to girls who like other girls."

"Funny," Buffy said sarcastically. "I meant. . .do you still know all that hacking stuff, and could you possibly, maybe find something out for me?"

Buffy crossed her fingers and kept her gaze fixed on the entrance to the deli.

"I could possibly, maybe yes," Willow replied, shuffling around on the other end of the line. "Let me just blow the cobwebs off my laptop while you tell me what's going on."

"Nothing," Buffy said sharply. "Nothing's going on, I just. . .there's just. . ."

"Ok, now I'm worried. You don't normally talk like that unless. . .well, it's something worrying," Willow pointed out. "Should I be calling Giles? I could get Riley. Should I get Riley?"

"No, and definitely no," Buffy responded, shaking her head even though Willow couldn't see. "I just need you to tell me where Faith is. I mean, tell me she's in jail, all safely locked up and tied down. No, not tied down. . .don't tell me that, just let me know where she is."

Buffy tried to calm her breathing down, unsure why she was spazzing out. Maybe it was the fact Faith hadn't even flickered when she'd caught her eye. It was as if Faith didn't know who she was, or that maybe Buffy just wasn't memorable enough, or it could be magic. Magic always had a hand in it somewhere. Well, maybe not always, but in Buffy's life it often lingered around, making things happen that just shouldn't.

"So, you want me to hack into the prison records and find out where she is? We already know where she is, Buffy," Willow noted, little tapping noises emanating from her laptop.

"I know we know," Buffy assured, feeling kind of uncomfortable talking so freely about Faith and where she was. "Just let me know again. Tell me exactly where she is right now."

Willow went silent for a few moments, her fingers still tapping as she ummed and ahhed.

"You want to know where she is right this minute? I guess she could be having lunch, or maybe she's on one of those walk-around-the-yard things, or she could be in the shower. . .dropping the soap," Willow said with a chuckle, sounding far too relaxed considering it was Faith they were talking about.

"Ok, I so didn't need the image of Faith in the shower dropping the soap," Buffy groaned, trying to shake the image from her mind, finding it more difficult than perhaps she should. "I just need to know she's still there."

"Well, it was pretty tight security – which I guess makes sense 'cause it's a prison – but I got in to the files," Willow told Buffy. "She's definitely still in there, safely locked behind bars and bullet proof glass."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief, but then instantly felt uneasy again as she spotted flowing brown hair through the window of the deli as 'Faith' breezed by inside. If Faith was in prison, then how the hell was she also there. . .waiting tables in downtown LA?

"Do we know for sure?" Buffy asked, hoping she didn't sound as nuts as she was beginning to feel. Hallucinations never seemed much like fun; there was too much potential for big hairy spiders to appear.

"Yep," Willow replied, "she had a meeting with the governor just yesterday. The report's right here. . .and it says she's being the model prisoner. In a good way, not in a bad head-of-a-gang kinda way."

"Faith being good?" Buffy quipped. "Are you sure you're telling me the truth?"

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Willow asked.

"No reason, I think I'm just going insane." Buffy gulped down the last of her coke, the shock of cold giving her a pain in her temple, causing her to rub at it as she attempted to figure out what was going on.

"Are you ok?"

"Huh?" Buffy asked, realizing right away it wasn't Willow who had asked her.

It was Faith. . .or at least the very Faith-like waitress.

"I've got some Advil if you need," she said, her voice almost as husky as Faith's. Almost as chilling.

"I'll call you back, Will," Buffy said down the line, flipping the cell phone closed as she turned her attention to the waitress. "I'm fine. . .but thanks," she told her curtly, looking into her dark eyes.

The waitress placed Buffy's lunch order down on the table and looked at her with a slightly puzzled expression. Buffy looked just as puzzled back. She couldn't believe it wasn't Faith. She had the same expression, the same eyes, the same nose, lips. It was like looking at Faith from a whole new angle, however. It was unnerving to say the least, on many levels. Levels Buffy didn't even know existed.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said quickly when it looked like the waitress was about to move away. "I didn't mean to be rude, I just. . .I'm feeling a little weird."

"I know the feeling," the waitress answered, smiling and showing off her dimples.

Buffy's heart thudded loudly in her ears, the sound of blood making her dizzy. The fact she was looking at a girl who was the exact copy of one that had hurt her, burned her, tempted her and stomped on her, causing her to feel like she was swaying on unsteady ground. Her mind raced through all the possibilities, ranging from Faith somehow managing to escape from jail and get a job over the course of just a day, to it being some kind of clone, to the possibility she was actually conversing with a demon wearing a Faith disguise. There were no demon-tingles, however.

"I haven't seen you here before," the waitress commented, taking a seat opposite Buffy. "New or just passing through?"

Buffy blinked, trying to compose herself. She couldn't take her eyes off the girl, studying her, remembering moments she'd shared with Faith. Bad and good. It hadn't always been bad. . .they'd almost been friends at one point. They could have been good friends in fact, but life was never that simple for a slayer.

"No. . .yes," Buffy replied, shaking her head and chuckling to herself as the waitress raised an eyebrow. "I'm just here for the day, I live in Sunnydale. I'm Buffy," she told her, gauging her reaction. Hoping for some sign; some clue as to who or what the girl was.

"I'm Tru," the waitress said, smiling, offering her hand for Buffy to shake. "Tru Davies, a lifelong resident of LA."

Buffy took her hand and shook softly, a faint shudder running through her at the contact. It was just too surreal. She was so much like Faith, but apparently she wasn't.

"I might need my hand back," Tru said with a giggle. "I wouldn't be much of a waitress without it."

Buffy shook herself out of her self induced daze and slowly let go of Tru's hand, their fingers sliding from each other hesitantly.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, feeling suitably embarrassed. "Honestly, I'm not normally this weird."

She smiled at Tru, furrowing her brow as she realised it was one of her cute flirty smiles. She made a vow to try not to smile again.

"If it's any consolation, it's kinda cute," Tru told her, her dark eyes sparkling in the sun as she openly admired Buffy.

It made Buffy blush a little, her cheeks feeling flushed but her brain feeling utterly confused. Faith had always confused her too, but Faith always seemed to go out of her way to do it, to catch Buffy out or get the upper hand with her overt sexuality or brazen charm. Tru didn't seem like she was trying to fluster Buffy for the hell of it. Buffy didn't know how she could tell, and she wasn't sure exactly why she wasn't feeling more uneasy or even angry.

Looking away, trying to avoid the eyes that reminded her so much of Faith, Buffy realised she should be getting back to the gallery with lunch. She didn't feel like rushing away, and she still needed to know for sure who Tru was. The similarity was too close, too exact for Tru to just be a lookalike or a fluke. If she'd been a little more attitude-y and slightly less girly there would be practically no telling her apart from Faith, and that was most definitely a reason to worry.

"Is there any chance I could get a coke to go?" Buffy asked, gazing down at her empty glass.

"Sure," Tru replied, sounding a little perplexed.

It wasn't as if Buffy hadn't noticed the fact Tru seemed to be flirting with her, she just wasn't ready to acknowledge it, despite her own flirty little smile that kept creeping out. Buffy felt weird. The situation was weird. . .and she was lost in the middle of it.

"Thanks," she called after Tru as she disappeared to get her drink.

She flipped open her cell phone again and called Willow. It rang only once before Willow was asking what was happening. She'd probably been sat by the phone, waiting for Buffy to call for backup, or weapons. It wasn't like they'd talked much about Faith in the past without the mention of pointy weapons.

"Will, calm down, everything's ok. . .or at least I hope it is," Buffy said. "I need you to check something out for me, though."

"Ok," Willow replied. "The dust is well and truly off my hacking fingers so fire away."

"Find out who Tru Davies is, and do it quick," she told Willow, glancing over to the shop entrance to make sure Tru wasn't on her way back.

"You're in luck, I'm a whiz at finding info on people," Willow assured. "And I have to say, it's nice to be asked to find info on a normal person for once instead of this demon or that demon, or whatever bad guy we're. . ."

"Will, I really do need you to do this quick," Buffy said firmly. "Just give me the basics for now, like. . .are they real, and do I need to wear protective clothing in case they break out of the fake skin and bouncy hair."

"Right, quick. I can do quick," Willow mumbled, once again tapping away at her keyboard. "I found a Tru Davies in LA, is that who you're looking for?"

"Yeah, I think, what's it say?" Buffy asked.

"Well, she's real, so no protective clothing necessary," Willow pointed out. "She has a driver's licence, went to college, is registered as an actress, 19 years old, and was. . ." she struck the keys quickly as she searched "born in Boston."

"Born in Boston?" Buffy said, furrowing her brow. "She said she'd lived here in LA all her life."

"Wait. . .there's more here. It's really well hidden and I'll have to dig deeper, but it looks like she was adopted. She was taken to LA as a baby I think," Willow explained.

Buffy tried to fit the pieces together in her head, but it was all still a blurry mess. At least she knew – or was fairly certain now – that Tru wasn't Faith in disguise, or a demon, or some kind of magical clone. Willow was an expert at finding information on the internet, and she knew a scam or false info if she came across it. Tru had to be a real person in her own right. All they had to find out now was why she was Faith's identical. . .

"One coke to go," Tru said as she placed the large coke in front of Buffy.

Her smile had faded somewhat compared to the one she'd given Buffy before she'd been so rude. Buffy couldn't blame her; there they were kind of flirting. . .then Buffy'd asked for a coke. Not the best way to impress. Not that she wanted to impress another girl. Especially one that looked like Faith.

"Thank you," Buffy said, letting her eyes fall into Tru's once again as she snapped her cell phone shut on Willow. She'd have to apologise profusely later. "Umm. . .I'm probably gonna sound even weirder than you already think I am, but hell, I'm here for just one night and not really looking forward to spending it with my spawn-of-evil little sister, so wondered if you maybe wanna – if you're not busy – show me around a little later?" Buffy said in a rush, trying to come up with some way not to lose track of Tru before they found out her possible connection to Faith.

The excuse was flimsy at best, but she really did feel the need to find out more about Tru. It wasn't everyday you bumped into an arch enemy's double.

"You're asking me to ask you out?" Tru said with a chuckle. "Never been asked on a date quite like that before." She smiled broadly, flashing her teeth as Buffy fumbled with her big bag of lunch.

Buffy hadn't quite meant it as a date. She wasn't into girls, and most definitely wasn't into dating a Faith lookalike, even if she was very pretty and had great teeth. Not that teeth were important, but it's all Buffy could seem to focus on as she gazed up at Tru. For reasons she couldn't come up with yet, Buffy didn't want to just walk away from Tru without talking to her some more. She waited for Tru to ask her out, her best flirty expression set in place.

"Ok, you've got yourself a date," Tru told her. "I'm rehearsing right after work but can pick you up around 9 if that's ok?"

"Sounds perfect," Buffy responded more confidently than she felt, as she stood to leave. "I'll give you my number and the hotel I'm staying at."

Tru handed Buffy her pad and pencil, grinning as she wrote the info down. It was almost an exact copy of Faith's grin, but not quite. It was less animalistic and more playful. Buffy saw the subtle difference and wasn't sure which she preferred. Of course, she had to remind herself that she in no way, ever, at any time liked Faith's grin to begin with, and that she in no way thought Tru's was cute. If she didn't remind herself, she'd be in danger of losing her mind completely.

"See you at 9," Tru said as she waved Buffy goodbye.

It took Buffy a few backwards steps to turn around and walk away as she was too busy just staring at Tru. Really, the similarities were incredible. . .but the subtle differences made all the difference. It wasn't Faith. Buffy could see that now. Tru was less hard around the edges; she was just as hot, but softer. Like Faith but in soft focus.

She shook her head and forced herself to walk back to the gallery without looking behind her. Buffy felt on edge, unhinged slightly. She jumped when her cell phone chirped in her pocket.

"Hey, Will," she answered. "Sorry about hanging up. . .lunch was ready, kinda."

"Nope, I don't believe you. I wanna hear it all, Missy. Tell me what's happening or I'll be forced to curse you, all magically an' stuff," Willow told her, clearly wearing her resolve face. "I found something out about that Tru person, and you're seriously not going to believe me, so what's going on? How did you meet her?"

Buffy slowed her walk so she didn't reach the gallery too soon, eager to find out what Willow was talking about and to halt the barrage of questions.

"I bumped into her while I was getting lunch," Buffy explained. "It was weird, and just got weirder. . .but before I tell you more, what is it you found out?"

She stopped outside the gallery and waited for Willow to either put her mind at ease or make it more of a minefield of confusion. She already knew Tru wasn't Faith, and that Faith was safely tucked away in prison. Tru wasn't a demon either, as there were no slayer-tingles, and demons rarely had the contacts to be able to forge an entire history for themselves. Hopefully Willow had the answers.

Willow seemed to hush her voice as she spoke, as if the information she was about to give was top secret. . .or maybe it just wigged her out. "Well, I dunno if you noticed or not – 'cause I haven't seen a picture of her and don't know what she looks like – but Tru is Faith's. . ."

"Twin sister?" Buffy finished for her, suddenly realising the obvious possibility.

"Yep," Willow confirmed. "As in, separated at birth, sent across the country and never heard from again twin sister. And as far as I can tell, Faith has no idea she exists."

Buffy nodded to herself and looked back down the street towards the delicatessen. She couldn't see Tru but she kept staring anyway, the little voice in her head telling her things couldn't be that simple. There had to be more to it. Maybe Faith was in contact with Tru and had sent her to. . .take her on a date. Yeah, it definitely sounded strange.

"How sure are you?" Buffy asked.

"Pretty much completely," Willow answered. "I had to do some serious interloping to find this stuff out. I can tell you all of Tru's grades from kindergarten to college, and lemme tell ya, she's smart. I know what her parents do. I know what her shoe size is, and I even know when she had her last doctor's appointment and what for. I'm the da Vinci of hacking."

"You paint pictures on your laptop?"

"No, I'm a genius, silly," Willow corrected. "Anyway, I'm as sure as I can be that Tru is Faith's twin."

Buffy could practically hear the decisive nod on the other end of the phone.

"And I thought twins were meant to share the attributes between them," Buffy mumbled.

"Huh?"

"I thought one sister was meant to get the charm and the other the looks," she explained. "Faith and Tru are pretty much identical. Identical twins, not just twins."

"Oh," Willow responded. "Wait. . .you're saying you think Tru is charming and attractive?" She paused for a second, but continued before Buffy could cover herself or prevent the approaching comment. "So you must have thought Faith was charming and attractive. Buffy, I don't think even my brain can handle that much psychoanalysing."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Buffy agreed, feeling her own head beginning to throb. "That's not even the half of it; I'm going on a date with Tru tonight."

The response was complete silence filled with the occasional sharp intake of breath.

"Jesus, Buffy. . .we're starving to death, did you fall down a pothole and get lost?" Dawn yelled as she pushed open the door Buffy was standing beside.

She grabbed the bag of food from her hands and gave Buffy an accusing look before striding off in a huff.

"I'd better go, Will," Buffy said, hoping Willow hadn't passed out with shock. "I promise I'll call you later. I'm not even sure I'll go on the 'date' now I know who she is, but I'll let you know what happens."

Buffy flipped the phone shut and followed Dawn. She knew she'd go with Tru; she was too intrigued not to.

Intrigued didn't quite cover it, but Buffy wasn't ready to look much deeper. Faith was a whole collection of unanswerable questions in her mind and always had been. The more she'd thought about her feelings towards her, the more she'd ran screaming from her own head. It was crazy to even contemplate seeing Tru again, but Buffy couldn't resist. Maybe it was some kind of masochistic tendency filtering to the surface, making Buffy want to face her demons. Making her want to face what Faith had always instilled in her.

She couldn't hide any longer. Whatever the reason was for wanting to see Tru again, Buffy couldn't really deny it; she was drawn to her, just like she had been to Faith.

**Continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Buffy ran her fingers through her long blonde hair, making sure every strand was where she wanted it to be. She'd showered and spent almost twenty minutes trying to make a nice outfit out of what she'd taken to LA. Her options were few, but she knew she always looked good in jeans and halter-top. All that was left to do was ignore Dawn as she pestered her about where she was going and who with, and wait until the right moment to go downstairs to the lobby without looking too eager.

It wasn't really a date after all. It was more like investigating. Buffy had to know more about Tru and her connection to Faith. She had to be sure that Faith wasn't manipulating Tru somehow, or sending her to wreak havoc on her life the way Faith had done herself.

"Buffy, I need the bathroom, will you get out of there already?" Dawn yelled through the door.

"I'm not done, go use mom's next door," Buffy responded, wishing she knew all the magic stuff Willow did so she could make Dawn disappear.

She'd told her mom and sister that she was meeting with Cordelia. Joyce didn't question her, but Dawn was full of pestering and whining about wanting to go. Buffy was grateful to be getting away from her for a few hours, even if she was a little sceptical about her own reasons.

But it wasn't a date. Most definitely not. Buffy didn't date girls.

When she heard Dawn slam the door to their room as she made her way next door, Buffy left the bathroom to check herself in the full length mirror. Smoothing her hands over her backside and making an approving noise, she kept repeating to herself that she was only going with Tru to get information. The beeping of her cell phone halted the mantra.

"Hey, Will," Buffy said as she answered. "Sorry about earlier, didn't mean to cut you off so quick."

"Never mind that," Willow said excitedly. "I want to know how you went from meeting Faith's sister in some freaky fluke kinda thing, to going out on a date with her. That's pretty quick work."

"It's not a date exactly," Buffy assured, checking the light application of makeup she'd spent way too much time on. "It's just. . .being inquisitive. I'm an inquisitive kinda gal and I need my fix for the week."

"So read the Enquirer, Buffy," Willow said with a nervous chuckle. "It would be less stress on your friends, meaning me. . .the one who's stressing."

Buffy picked her purse up from her bed and checked her watch. It was 9 o'clock already and time to make her way downstairs.

"There's no need to stress," Buffy said. "This is just part of the slaying job. I have to make sure she's not all evil and planning to get revenge for Faith or something."

"Revenge by dating? Seriously, Buffy. . .you need to get out more," Willow told her, sounding more highly strung by the second. "Faith knows nothing about Tru. I checked and checked, and did some more checking, and they don't know each other. So basically, you're going out on a date with a girl who's probably gonna expect you to like her like that, and probably hopes to get in some smoochies before the night's through. And yunno, it's Faith's sister, so who knows what she's expecting. I don't think you're prepared for that."

Willow's voice trailed off as Buffy made her way towards the elevator. She stood in front of the shiny reflective doors, her image warped like a comical mirror, the reality of what she was just about to do hitting her head on. She was going out with Tru to sate her curiosity, and possibly because she was a little nuts, but for Tru it was a date. She'd expect date-like happenings. She'd expect Buffy to expect her to. . .Buffy held her breath as the elevator doors whooshed open and invited her in. Now was not a good time to freak out, but freaking out was definitely on the agenda.

"Oh God," Buffy said into her cell phone. "I'm going on a date with a girl."

"That's what I just said," Willow stated. "And as much as I like the girly-loving myself, it's a little weird knowing you're going on a date with not only a girl, but a very Faith-like girl."

"But it's not Faith, and like you said. . .she knows nothing about her, right?" Buffy muttered as she stepped slowly into the elevator, smiling softly at the old couple already on their way down to the lobby.

"Nothing at all," Willow reassured. "Which means you've got the whole evening with her to talk about anything but Faith, and to find a way to avoid wandering hands and possible smoochies."

"Oh crap, I didn't plan on being a lesbian tonight. I don't even know if I'm dressed right. What if I'm really bad at it and she guesses, and then goes all 'Faith' on me and starts making me all uncomfortable with innuendoes I don't get 'cause I don't have the gayness?" Buffy said in a small panicked voice.

A soft cough beside her reminded her she wasn't alone and Buffy blushed suitably as she smiled apologetically. The old couple shuffled a little further away, and pretended not to notice.

"I'm sure you'll be ok, Buffy," Willow told her, obviously trying to halt the panic. "Just be yourself and. . .no wait, don't be yourself 'cause then she'll get all attached and wanna see you again and that's probably not of the good, unless you're planning on changing teams and having some kinda creepy pseudo-relationship with Faith by being with Tru."

"Huh?" Buffy responded as the doors opened to allow more passengers on as they made their way down to ground level. "Sumo-relationship? I didn't think I'd put on that much weight. I mean, I know I've kinda been comfort eating lately but. . ."

"Pseudo, not sumo," Willow corrected. "Being with Tru would almost be like being with Faith, but not. Not that it's wrong if you like girls, but it's just a little sudden, and I didn't even know you liked Faith like that."

Buffy used her free hand to rub at her brow as she tried to process the conversation. The old couple were glancing at her and muttering under their breaths, and the man now in front of her was taking up far too much space as he did his best to attempt the pretending-not-to-listen pose.

"I don't like Faith. I don't like girls," Buffy whispered into the phone, her voice a little higher than usual. "I'm just. . .this is just. . ."

"Weirder than a whole crate of weird things at Wacky's wonderful house of weirdness?" Willow interjected.

"Ok, so it's new and I don't exactly know what I'm doing right now," Buffy confessed, "but I couldn't just walk away. I don't know why, but I couldn't. Maybe it is about Faith. Maybe I need to go on one of those retreats Giles is always blabbing on about. Whatever it is. . .I'm sure I'll get over it by the end of the night so I can come home and put Faith behind me once and for all."

As Buffy said the final words the doors slid open and revealed the slight bustle of the lobby. The low light of the reception area and lounge created a pleasant mood, hushed tones of gentle music filtering through speakers littered around the walls in amongst the décor. Buffy quickly scanned the area ahead as she stepped out onto the dark red carpet. She watched as Tru moved towards her from behind a portly man in an ill-fitting suit. Her hair was flowing richly over her shoulders, every step causing the slight curls to bounce, her eyes resting gently on Buffy as telling dimples sneaked across her cheeks.

Buffy felt her stomach tighten into a knot. "God she's beautiful," Buffy murmured to herself.

"What?" Willow asked.

"Huh? Oh nothing, just. . .thinking out loud I guess, anyway I have to go so I'll talk to you tomorrow," Buffy told Willow, hastily ending the call before she could be questioned.

Tru strolled to a halt in front of Buffy, an amused look on her face as she greeted her with a husky hello.

"You're on that a lot," Tru pointed out with a chuckle, gesturing to the phone Buffy was busy tucking into her purse. "Over-eager girlfriend or boyfriend?" she asked.

"No," Buffy replied, almost too quickly, "just a friend."

"Good, 'cause I don't wanna be stepping on any toes." Tru brushed her hand through her hair as they began walking towards the exit.

"Nope, no toes. Well obviously I have toes, but there's no boyfriend. . .or girlfriend," she added quietly, feeling her cheeks flush slightly at even the possibility.

She also felt a little ashamed at just remembering she hadn't spoken to Riley since the day before. Buffy couldn't think of Riley right then. Not when she had 'work' to do. Plus, she knew he was going to be upset and she didn't want to linger on the reason she wasn't particularly bothered.

"So, I thought we could grab something to eat if you haven't already," Tru suggested as Buffy tried to avoid glancing in her direction for too long, worried she would bump into something and make a fool of herself.

"I didn't have dinner just in case," Buffy confessed, "so that's cool."

Her eyes wandered to Tru's denim encased backside as a large family pulling luggage behind them forced Buffy to drop back. She couldn't help but look and she didn't know why. It had been the same with Faith; something about her that made Buffy feel off centre; a compulsion that could possibly be construed as being 'kind of gay'. She knew she wasn't gay, though. The idea alone was silly. Her thoughts and fantasies had only ever been filled with men. . .and only sometimes Faith. Buffy refused to accept the possibility she was attracted to either girl, even though she had to admit the odd stray thought.

"You like Italian?" Tru asked as she stepped aside for Buffy to enter the small space in the revolving door.

"They're the ones that do pizza, right?" Buffy asked, brushing up against Tru as they shuffled forwards inside the confines of the slow moving door.

Tru chuckled and nodded, and Buffy didn't instantly feel like leaping away from her or the point of contact between them.

"I know this great little place close to here that's run by a family friend. It's not fancy but the food is great," Tru enthused, gesturing in almost the same passionate way Faith did as they stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"Sounds good," Buffy responded, finding herself smiling openly at Tru as she relaxed.

It may not have been a date, but that didn't mean she had to be grumpy or defensive. Buffy couldn't help but instantly feel at ease with the other girl. It surprised her considering her past with Tru's identical twin. She'd been ready to feel at least some animosity or niggling itchiness, but she didn't feel either. And unlike with Faith, Buffy didn't feel quite so threatened by Tru. Not in a fighting sense – Buffy had never felt less than able to take on Faith when it came to fighting – but in another way. A way she had kept hidden inside.

Buffy tried not to think too much about it as they walked towards their destination. Tru asked Buffy what she did in Sunnydale, genuinely seeming interested in her college courses and life in general. The sensation of being made to feel interesting for something other than her slaying temporarily made Buffy forget to enquire about Tru, and her plan to expose her possible collaboration with Faith. She was soaking up the attention as Tru listened to her, gentle eyes leaving Buffy feeling ever more drawn towards her.

They entered the small restaurant and were ushered to a table near the window. Buffy tried to ask herself what she was really doing there; it was one thing trying to convince Willow there was only one reason, but quite another trying to convince herself of the same. The pieces of the puzzle seemed to fit only one way, but she was forcing them apart and jamming them together in ways that left her irritated and confused. It was like revisiting the past, when Faith had swept into her life and reeled out the charm and the dimpled smile that always had Buffy looking away for fear of being caught gazing.

The waiter interrupted Buffy's inner ramblings, asking them what they wanted from the menu he'd handed them.

"What would the beautiful companion of our beloved Tru wish to try tonight?" he asked, his haughty moustache jiggling on his lip.

Buffy beamed under the compliment as Tru smiled on in apparent agreement with his statement.

"Pizza would be good," Buffy responded, trying to figure out what all the Italian sounding dishes were as she glanced over the menu.

"They do great pizza," Tru assured, ordering one she told Buffy she'd love.

She also ordered wine, and though Buffy wasn't a big drinker she didn't object. Something to calm her nerves would probably help, then she could get on with the job at hand of exposing Tru. . .though not in a naked way, obviously.

Trying not to think about any kind of nakedness, Buffy looked around the restaurant. It wasn't very busy, but the place looked suitably Italian and atmospheric. Small candles lit every table, the light flickering off the paintings on the walls. Rhythmic music mingled with the clattering cutlery and hushed conversations. It was kind of a romantic setting, and not one she could ever see Faith taking her to. Not that she'd want Faith taking her anywhere, but the striking difference between the two girls was hard to ignore. Tru was the same age as Faith yet she seemed more mature, more stable.

"So," Buffy began, trying to get back on track, "you said you were rehearsing earlier; is it for a film?"

"No, a play. Haven't quite broken into the whole film thing yet," Tru answered. "Gotta get my feet wet first before I dive into movies; the auditions can be hell."

"You must be pretty good though, if you're in a play," Buffy remarked, wondering if maybe Tru was only acting 'nice' in order to snare her in some way, though in what way exactly Buffy wasn't sure yet.

"It's only my second lead role, but it's showing at a pretty big theatre so I guess I must be doing something right," Tru said almost shyly, her big brown eyes sparkling at Buffy in the candlelight.

They talked some more about the play and Tru's role, her enthusiasm for acting captivating Buffy. The pizzas came and went, and the second bottle of wine soon began to be emptied. Buffy had asked all the questions she could without coming off as some kind of stalker, and so far nothing really indicated that Tru was in any way out to 'get her' for Faith. It seemed clear Tru didn't know of Faith at all, given the fact she hadn't mentioned her when Buffy had asked about her family. Still, she had to be wary; it was in her nature to be wary, and Faith had never so easily backed down or accepted her fate without a fight.

"If you wanna go somewhere more lively there's a club not far from here that has bands and stuff," Tru said, finishing off the remains of the wine.

Buffy smiled over her glass, swimming in the slight buzz from the alcohol and atmosphere. She couldn't help but feel like she was enjoying herself. Sure, she felt edgy when she dwelled on the reasons for being there, but she felt comfortable in Tru's company. The two opposites made uneasy partners so Buffy decided to shut her brain up for once so she could just enjoy being out somewhere new, away from everyday worries.

Tru was nice, she was sweet, she made Buffy giggle in a way she hadn't done since. . .well, since before all the bad stuff with Faith. Maybe it was the wine, but Buffy felt like letting go. She nodded eagerly and agreed they should move on to somewhere a little more upbeat. Thoughts about whether or not it was a date she was on flew out of her head at the prospect of getting to have some fun, without worrying about her friends or her boyfriend for once.

They paid the bill after Buffy insisted they split the cost, and then made their way out into the warm night. Buffy could feel the cosy hum of alcohol seeping into her bloodstream, its slow pull wrapping around her. The slight breeze prickled at Buffy's skin as she walked close to Tru, her arm occasionally brushing against the other girl in a way that didn't feel as strange as it probably should. It was no longer an investigation, but beyond that Buffy didn't dare to look. If she looked she was afraid she might leap anyway.

That's how it had been with Faith: being aware that following her was the wrong choice, but doing it anyway because she couldn't help herself. Buffy had been lucky enough to pull herself out of Faith's snare when it all got too much, but if the fateful night that had changed their path hadn't happened, Buffy wasn't sure where she'd be. Maybe she would have come to terms with the way Faith made her feel, or maybe they'd just been destined to turn against each other. She didn't know. She wasn't as sure about anything from her past right now.

As they approached the bustle of the club doors Buffy couldn't help but notice that most of the line was composed of girls. She looked towards Tru and received one of her achingly warm smiles, her dimples defining her face, full lips telling Buffy not to worry, and that they'll get in without having to wait.

Tru obviously saw Buffy's slight panic as an indication that she wasn't happy about the prospect of waiting in line. That wasn't what was worrying her, however.

"I know the bouncer, she's kinda sweet on me so we'll get right in," Tru explained, sharing a trait with Faith at being able to charm her way into anything.

Buffy nodded and moved closer to Tru as they neared the queue. They got in without too much fuss, the bouncer spotting Tru right away and waving them inside. They were greeted by warm hellos from girls that were obviously known to Tru. Buffy guessed it must have been her local hangout spot. Kind of like the Bronze was for the Scoobs but far more. . .rainbow orientated. She felt compelled to stay as close to Tru as she could as they rounded a dark corridor into the heart of the club.

The music vibrated through Buffy as people brushed past them to filter onto the dance floor. There was a small stage in front of it occupied by a band thudding away on their guitars. The music was loud but melodic, and much more upbeat than what Buffy was used to at the Bronze. Though the room was small it held a few tables and stools closer to the bar; they mostly looked taken but Tru began to lead them that way.

Without thinking, Buffy reached out and slipped her arm through Tru's as they stepped this way and that through the groups of chatting and dancing girls. Buffy wasn't sure why she felt the need to suddenly cling to her, but it could have been the fact she felt somewhat out of her depth in such a place. It wasn't everyday she got taken to a lesbian bar after all. Tru didn't object, in fact she moved her hand down and took Buffy's within it, holding her lightly as she cleared a path towards an empty table near the back.

Still gripping onto Tru as they shuffled around the table to the stools, Buffy took the opportunity to just look at her. She was wearing blue jeans that fit her backside perfectly, and a cute white blouse that showed just enough cleavage to look sexy, but not as much as a certain other brunette would flaunt. Tru was pretty stunning, yet in a different way to Faith. And as she realised that, Buffy also realised she had indeed thought of Faith as stunning. The thoughts had been there, the stirring feeling within her that told her she liked her. . .and not in a simple way that meant she didn't have to hide the truth from herself.

It seemed obvious now. The reason it hurt so much. The reason Faith's betrayal had cut so deep.

Buffy let go of Tru's hand as they sat themselves down to claim their seats. She felt a bit shaky, like the floor had been whipped from under her feet and left her spinning on the spot. All the time she'd taken to stop herself from facing the truth, melting away to nothing under Tru's touch. As she looked out towards the dance floor, seeing girls with their arms around each other, kissing, having fun, being with the people they wanted to be with, it dawned on her that she'd missed that opportunity. It surprised her to admit that she'd wanted that opportunity. Buffy had never allowed herself to let the knowledge slip into the mainstream of her brain, but now there was no stopping it.

"What do you want to drink?" Tru asked, leaning in close to Buffy's ear so she could hear her.

A shudder ran through Buffy as Tru's dark brown hair tickled over her bare shoulder. She tried to ignore how it made her feel, how Tru being so close she could smell her skin made her feel. It was pointless now. The cat was out of the bag. The idea was out there and Buffy couldn't shove it back into place.

"Anything," Buffy answered, finding a sudden squeak to her voice.

Tru raised her eyebrows, so like Faith, so complicatedly confusing for Buffy. She felt like she should get up and go, run from what Faith had stirred in her and what Tru was stirring again. There was a warmth about Tru that stopped her running, however. Whereas Faith had made her feel too scared to face what she felt, Tru was inspiring her to face it head on. There would be no running, not this time. She'd come far enough to just about accept there had been more to her feelings for Faith than mere friendship before it had all turned sour, so she couldn't back down now. Buffy didn't want to think of herself as a coward.

"Anything not too strong," Buffy elaborated, moving just a little closer so she didn't have to yell.

She could feel the warmth of Tru's skin against hers and it far from made her feel scared. She was unsure, nervous about what it meant, but not scared. Maybe two years, or even one year beforehand, the fear would have been there, but she'd been through enough, seen enough, lived and died enough to know that fear got you nowhere. It certainly didn't get you happiness. She couldn't stop herself from looking at Tru with new eyes. Eyes that saw her beauty and saw her appeal, saw that she was the reason she was feeling flushed and excited.

"Cocktails are always a good choice. I'll bring you back a surprise," Tru said as she dismounted from her stool and gave Buffy a wink.

Buffy watched her leave, not taking her eyes from her for a second. She definitely liked Tru for who she was, but she couldn't silence the small voice inside her that was telling her how much she wished it was Faith; that it was Faith being so sweet, gentle, and easy to be around. It wasn't though, and Faith had torn through any hope they could one day get over the past.

She glanced back to the dance floor, watching the throng jump and sway to the music. The band were lifting the atmosphere as their performance grew ever louder. It looked like fun out there and she wondered if Tru would be interested in dancing once they'd finished their drinks. Dancing with Faith had always been fun. They'd been close then, letting the music take them. Letting themselves be swept up in each other. The sensation never lasted long, and when the music died Buffy would retreat from the obvious signs being given to her.

"Hi," a voice filtered through the thumping music. "Yunno, you're pretty damn hot and I noticed you sat here by yourself, you wanna dance? Maybe get a drink?"

Buffy turned towards the girl speaking to her. She was a pretty girl with short dark hair; her blue eyes looking hopeful as she smiled toothily at Buffy. At first she didn't know how to react. It wasn't as if she had much experience with girls coming onto her, except for Faith's flirting, and now Tru's.

"Don't think a girl like you should be sat alone," the girl continued, leaning towards Buffy, offering to be her saviour from loneliness.

Buffy felt far from alone, however. In fact she almost felt like she was out with both Tru and Faith, which was creepy and something she didn't want to dwell on.

"I'm not alone," Buffy assured, glancing back towards Tru who was busy paying for their drinks. "I'm with my girlfriend."

Turning back, Buffy fought the flush to her cheeks that threatened to expose her little lie. She wasn't embarrassed about the lie; it was just a funny feeling calling Tru her girlfriend.

"I'm sure she's sweet, but I could show you a good time," the girl continued, persisting in her advances. "My name's Alice."

She thrust her hand out towards Buffy so she could shake it. Buffy was beginning to feel a little irritated now and just wanted her to leave so she could continue coming to terms with what was going through her head concerning both Tru and Faith.

"And my girlfriend's name is Tru," Buffy said with a fixed smile, shaking the offered hand firmly as she made it clear she was taken.

Alice nodded in defeat and turned to leave, looking a little more deflated than when she'd arrived. Buffy soon lost sight of her in the crowd and sighed with relief. Almost instantly she felt Tru slide up beside her, nudging her with her shoulder as she placed the drinks down on the table.

"Hey, girlfriend," Tru said with a smirk.

Buffy knew right away she'd been heard during the quiet break between songs.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said coyly, "she was hitting on me and. . .well, I'm here with you so I didn't wanna. . ."

"It's cool, I woulda done the same," Tru told her with another soft nudge. "It's kinda flattering actually."

Buffy turned more towards Tru on her stool, taking the drink before her in her hand and playing with the small umbrella sticking proudly out of the garish red of the liquid within. She took a sip not knowing what the drink was, but not particularly caring; all that mattered was that she'd caused Tru to move closer to her and smile her striking smile. As much as it made Buffy's stomach do little nervous flips, it was also flipping for whole other reasons she was only just getting to grips with.

"Well, it's kinda flattering being here with you. . .on a date," Buffy told her, leaning to speak in her ear now the music had started bursting through the speakers once again.

She lingered close to Tru a little longer than necessary, just feeling her heat, catching the hint of her scent. She didn't smell like Faith, but she still smelled good. Buffy almost felt like some kind of pervert for wanting to stay as close as she could, but then she realised that's what it was normally like when you liked somebody; when you're attracted to them.

Buffy had to take a steadying breath to stop herself from panicking about being attracted to another girl. When it had happened with Faith she'd firmly planted herself in the land of denial and ignored it, but it wasn't much fun there and she was tired of pretending she hadn't felt that way; the way she now also felt for Tru. Yep, it was clear to her. . .she was a raging homo when it came to this particular model of sexy brunette. The weakness ran deep; her mind trying to catch up with her body. Fortunately Tru didn't seem to feel the need to pull away too soon either, as she practically brushed her lips over Buffy's ear, her husky voice breaking through the noise around them.

"You like your drink? It's a strawberry Daiquiri," Tru pointed out. "You look like a strawberry kinda girl."

Buffy felt a delicate whisper of Tru's lips against her ear and closed her eyes, doing her best to keep in control of her faculties. It was a little hard when Tru was stripping away her inhibitions and her resolve.

"How do I look like a strawberry kind of girl?" Buffy asked, intrigued as she sipped more of the fruity drink.

"'Cause you're all kindsa sweet and. . ." Tru grinned a little slyly but looked somewhat shy as she glanced away from Buffy's gaze. "I'd better not finish that sentence; I don't wanna freak you out or make a huge fool of myself if you're not interested."

Tru took a long drink of her cocktail, eventually looking back in to Buffy's eyes. The thing was, Buffy _was_ interested. More than she should have been considering it was Faith's identical twin she was interested in. It was silly to lie, however. Silly and also repetitive. Buffy had done enough avoiding in the past, and she'd been feeling the need to break out of old habits, stretch herself from the limits she'd imposed, grab onto life and live it rather than just exist.

Buffy accepted the enticing buzz of alcohol running through her veins, her mind letting go of some of her fears.

"I am interested," Buffy said quietly, feeling butterflies tumbling in her stomach, hoping Tru could hear her over the music so she didn't have to repeat herself. "Tell me what you were going to say."

Tru licked her full lips and placed her drink down on the table. She moved her face closer to Buffy's, her mouth close to her cheek as she spoke so only Buffy could hear.

"You look sweet and good enough to eat," she said slowly and huskily, sending a jolt of excitement through Buffy. "And when I bite into a strawberry I like the juice to spill over my bottom lip and down my chin."

Tru's hot breath blowing over Buffy, the soft scent of her, the closeness. . .it almost had Buffy turning to kiss her. But she didn't, and she shocked herself a little with how powerful her reaction was. It didn't sober her, but it was clear that she wasn't ready for that. Tru's words had definitely piqued her curiosity and charged her body up in a way nobody had done since being close to Faith, but this was still uncharted territory. Buffy was still all kinds of unsteady and unsure.

She leaned back away from Tru, making sure not to make it seem like she was at all disturbed by the thought of being intimate with her. Keeping her eyes locked on Tru's, feeling herself practically drowning in their dark brown depths and warmth, Buffy smiled enticingly as she placed her straw between her lips and sucked up the rest of her drink. She was hot and needed to cool down.

Tru obviously didn't take the lack of kissing or comment as a rebuff; her cute grin letting Buffy know she wasn't about to get mad if she wasn't ready to jump her right then and there. Buffy wasn't sure how she could tell Tru would be the kind of girl to give her time to ease into what she wanted; she just sensed it. It made her feel comfortable yet almost giddy at the prospect of slowly wading into the sea of sensation awaiting her. The thought train carrying images of new intimacy and sensual touches rumbled through Buffy's mind, and it wasn't unpleasant. It was far from unpleasant.

As they both finished off their drinks they shared little smiles and glances that said more than either of them probably realised. Buffy felt excitement snaking its way around her; the idea of stepping into the unknown, taking the risk she hadn't dared to before, causing her to release herself into the sensation.

When Tru emptied her glass she stepped down from her stool and stood in front of Buffy, offering her hand as she asked if she wanted to dance. Buffy nodded enthusiastically and took Tru's hand. She followed her out onto the dance floor, enjoying the soft, warm hand in hers. She felt a little nervous, but the energy of those around them and the cocktail she'd just finished off helped to persuade her body to step into the music.

They danced for the rest of the night, only stopping to quench their thirsts or visit the bathroom. Buffy couldn't recall when she'd had so much fun without worrying what other people thought, or how she was going to be able to slay the bad guys on slightly unsteady legs. With Tru twirling her and spinning her, making her feel high on life, Buffy couldn't think about consequences or worry about what it all meant. She was enjoying being with Tru. She liked feeling the occasional brush of her body against her, the light grip of her hand when she spun her, the whispering tickle of her hair when she'd lean in to speak in her ear. Buffy didn't want the night to end.

It wasn't like being with Faith, and certainly nothing like dancing with her. With Faith it had always been charged with an underlying tension that made each touch and look mean more than Buffy was prepared to understand. It was prickly and charged, full of something unresolved and a little scary. Buffy didn't feel that with Tru; it was different and welcoming instead of feeling dangerous and consuming.

When it got late enough for Buffy to start thinking about heading back to the hotel, she felt sad that she'd be leaving in the morning. She also felt worried that maybe Tru didn't feel the same, but that was just an irrational and unfounded idea; Tru seemed far from eager to leave Buffy's side.

They eventually strolled into the hotel lobby, their clothes a little sticky from the heat of the club, their giggles not quite befitting the austere atmosphere.

"Thanks for walking me home, well. . .not home, but here," Buffy said with a little hiccup.

"No problem, Buffy. Couldn't have you losing your way," Tru responded as they entered the elevator, "I planned on seeing you again but not on the back of a milk carton."

Buffy chuckled at the thought but then realised it probably wasn't a chuckling matter. She was glad Tru had taken the time to walk her to the hotel, but now she was worried about Tru getting home herself.

"Oh God, I don't want that either. . .seeing you on a milk carton I mean," Buffy pointed out. "Of course I want to see you again, but not with breakfast. Unless yunno, it was because you were with me after we. . .yunno. . .not that we're going to but. . ."

Buffy tripped over her words, unable to fully deal with the thought of taking the dating thing with Tru a few steps further. It wasn't that it turned her off. . .it was quite the opposite, and that wasn't so easy to keep calm about.

Tru stopped Buffy's ramble by placing her hand on her shoulder. "I get what you mean," she said, trying to hold in a giggle but failing. "And I'd definitely like to. . .though obviously not here, with your sister in the same room."

Buffy's eyes went wide at the horrific thought and Tru just kept on laughing. Her giggles were infectious and they both stumbled out of the elevator, clinging to each as they tried to calm themselves.

As they made their way towards Buffy's room she felt like slowing down. She didn't want it to be over already. The night had been too much fun. She felt relaxed and at ease, the tension she'd been feeling lately lifting from her shoulders in Tru's company.

"I've had a really nice night," Buffy said as she stopped near her door and turned towards Tru.

"Me too," Tru replied. "And I really would like to see you again, if you'd want to."

Buffy watched as Tru glanced down at her feet, the shy act so different from how she'd imagine Faith being in the same situation. Her face, her body, the way she held Buffy's gaze with her eyes. . .it was all the same, but there were big differences in the way she was with Buffy.

"I want to," Buffy confirmed, not thinking about the implications or the possible complications. "Lemme get your number," she added, taking out her cell phone from her purse.

Tru gave Buffy her number and Buffy promised to call. She knew she would. She knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself, no matter how much she tried to talk herself out of it once she was sober and back at home. Back at home where her boyfriend was, and her friends that would think she was crazy. None of that mattered when she looked back up into deep dark eyes that were practically stripping her naked. She guessed it was the part of the night that they either kissed, or said goodbye awkwardly.

"Be careful on the way home," Buffy said softly, the buzz from the alcohol retreating to leave her feeling exposed.

"I will. I only live two blocks down so I'll be ok," Tru assured.

She glanced towards the shiny elevator doors, then back to Buffy. It seemed like she wanted to end the night in the traditional way, but something was stopping her. Buffy supposed it was probably because she hadn't made a move forwards, to show it was ok. There was too much distance between them. Buffy didn't want the night to end awkwardly so she stepped closer, her mind flashed a big red warning sign but she ignored it and leaned forwards to kiss Tru on the cheek.

Buffy felt Tru smile and her lips lingered on her soft skin over an adorable dimple. She didn't move away when a hand slid up her arm to her shoulder, and Tru turned her head so their lips were almost touching.

There was a pounding in Buffy's ear, her heart racing ahead of her as she allowed Tru to lean in and kiss her softly. Buffy didn't resist, closing her eyes as she let herself sink in to the sensation of the sensual caress. Her hands moved instinctively to Tru's hips, her mouth moving slowly against the kiss that was quickly heating her up. Tru nudged her lips open with her kisses and Buffy complied, tasting more, feeling more. A quiet moan broke the silence as she felt Tru's tongue flick over her own. She hadn't meant to moan. She hadn't even meant to go as far as actually embarking on the whole smooching thing.

It wasn't as if she could stop now, however. She was enjoying it too much. Her mind wandered to thoughts of Faith, to thoughts of Faith's lips and tongue as Tru kissed her deeper. Another soft moan, but this time from Tru, as Buffy pressed up against her, the heat between them growing. Buffy took Tru's tongue into her mouth, slowly sliding over it with her own as she gave in to what she so obviously wanted.

The booze and the dancing, the fun and the laughter, motivated Buffy to want more, her body beginning to prickle and burn. She wanted her hands to explore and her skin to feel. She had a vision of pushing Tru up against the wall behind her, kissing her soft and deep, hard and long until she was moaning her name. Until she was gasping and clinging to Buffy with need. But when the vision shifted and replaced Tru with Faith, Buffy leaned back.

Trying to catch her breath she looked up at Tru, noticing that she seemed as flushed as Buffy felt. They didn't speak; obvious lust tainting the atmosphere and stripping away the confidence to communicate beyond looks and touches. Her hands were still on Tru's hips as Tru licked her lips and stole Buffy's fears with her eyes. Without waiting for any warning signs this time, Buffy threw prudence out of the window and closed the distance once again, kissing Tru fully; their mouths open and hungry, stifled sighs breaking into the quiet of the corridor. Buffy became lost in the grip of quickening hearts and embracing arms, fighting not to think about Faith as she tasted the swell of Tru's lips and enjoyed the dance of their tongues together.

Buffy didn't think she'd ever lost herself to a kiss in quite the same way before. It was like she couldn't get enough. There was so much to feel, so much to like. They nipped and sucked, and pushed close, squeezing out the air between them. Tru's hands swept over Buffy's back and she sighed into her mouth, the wonder of having Tru's breasts pressing into her own making her dizzy with new sensations. She was getting incredibly turned on; unable to find sense in the haze of desire causing her to want to devour Tru.

As it became clear they should either part or find somewhere more private to be, Buffy pulled her lips from Tru's, kissing over her dimple, resting against her as they stole breaths from the heated air.

"Wow," Buffy said, trying to compose herself as she rubbed their noses together, just basking in being so close.

"I'm gonna have to agree," Tru said with a little chuckle before placing another quick kiss on Buffy's lips.

Buffy wanted to untangle herself from Tru but she didn't seem to be able to move. She was soft and inviting, her scent filing Buffy's nostrils and making her dizzy. It was new and exciting, and most definitely something she could get used to. It was too soon to jump into something intimate, however. For one thing it wasn't as if Buffy was single, and for another it wasn't as if Buffy had any clue what she would do. The idea of being somewhere alone with Tru for more kissing and whatever followed undeniably had Buffy's stomach quivering in anticipation, but it wouldn't be now.

"I don't wanna seem like a tease," Buffy said slowly, forcing herself not to brush her lips over Tru's once again, "but I should go in. I'm sorry."

Tru nudged at Buffy's nose with her own - her lips so close and so tempting - as she nodded and released her hold. Almost instantly Buffy felt colder, the heat between them dissipating as they reluctantly parted.

"No need to be sorry, Buffy. I wouldn't expect you to leap into bed with me," Tru responded, smiling gently. "We only just met."

"I know, and I'm really not usually so ready for the smooching and the almost groping, but I guess it kinda feels like I've known you longer," Buffy confessed, unable to wipe Faith from her mind. "But I really should go in because you just standing there is making me want to. . ."

Buffy looked Tru up and down, thinking of all the possibilities despite her complete lack of experience.

"Ok, you looking at me like that isn't helping me leave," Tru laughed.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said coyly, looking up through her eyelashes as Tru swept a calming hand through her dark hair. "I guess I drank a little too much, and maybe got hit on the head, but mostly I think it's 'cause you're gorgeous and hot and making me think about joining the gay parade."

"You're crazy," Tru said, laughing openly, her smile lighting up the dim corridor, "but you're also adorable and I'm so gonna have to insist we go out again soon."

Buffy couldn't help but reply to Tru's smile with one of her own, as she nodded and agreed. "I think that's a definite yes to the seeing each other again."

They went quiet again as Buffy picked up her dropped purse and fished out the card to her room. She gave Tru one last look over before turning to open her door.

"Night then," Buffy said quietly now the door was open. "I'll call you," she added, glancing back before entering the dark of the room.

Tru smiled and waved goodnight and turned towards the elevator. Buffy couldn't help but watch as she walked away, taking time to note the soft swagger that reminded her of Faith. It wasn't Faith she was looking forward to seeing again, however. It was Tru. No matter the similarities, it was Tru who'd made her night feel like a fresh start; like a new chapter that would lead to something she'd never quite had before.

Closing the door and leaning against it, Buffy bit her lower lip and grinned to herself. She felt alive, despite how complicated her life had now just become.

**Continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Quietly making her way into the bathroom, Buffy tried her best not to wake Dawn. The last thing she needed was her sister asking questions. She didn't plan on telling her anything about her night or who she'd been with; there would be much freaking out if she did. Buffy realised she should be doing quite a bit of freaking out herself, but deep down she knew it wasn't so surreal. Still, it did warrant a little time to stare at herself in the mirror and wonder how she'd leapt headlong into Tru's arms so easily.

"I kissed a girl," she said quietly to herself as she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. "I kissed Tru. I kissed Tru and thought of Faith."

Despite not needing to run around wigging about her new experience, the fact she'd let Faith filter into her mind - and learned some truths about her past feelings for her - did make her need to sit down.

She slumped onto the side of the bath, her thoughts drifting from Tru to Faith and back again. It wasn't as if she'd enjoyed the night because of anything to do with Faith; that was all Tru. There was room to believe she'd so readily kissed her because of the other slayer, however. Her walls suddenly dropping for Faith, for how she'd always affected her, and allowing Tru to step inside in her place. Why now? Buffy wasn't certain. She'd felt like her life was on the road to nowhere; stuck in the same place with the same responsibilities, the same relationship that just didn't feel right. A change is what she'd wanted. . .and suddenly finding herself accepting what she'd felt for Faith, and embarking on something – though she wasn't sure what yet – with Tru was definitely a change.

Buffy washed up for the night, periodically touching her lips and smiling before tumbling into bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, not only because she'd be travelling home, but also because she had a lot of thinking to do. The last thing she wanted to do was lie to Riley. She had to do something about her failing relationship with him, hopefully without hurting him.

When Buffy woke the next morning with Dawn singing and dancing around the room in her pyjamas - hairbrush firmly in hand – she winced and put a hand to her brow. Slayer healing didn't help hangovers and Buffy had the makings of one lingering around her head. She needed painkillers, stat.

"Dawn, can you please shut up?" Buffy whined as her sister did her best impression of Madonna in bright pink pyjamas.

"Nope, it's not my fault you're a big baby," Dawn squeaked as she bounced up onto her own bed and started jumping. "Shouldn't have drank. Mom'll be pissed."

Buffy threw her covers back and attempted to untangle her feet. She glared at Dawn but it wasn't working; Dawn carried on bouncing and singing.

"So," Dawn began, thudding down onto her backside on the edge of her bed, opposite Buffy, "are you gay now?"

Buffy blinked and stared at her sister, her mouth opening but no words coming out. She had no clue why Dawn suddenly felt the need to ask her if she was gay.

Dawn shuffled until she was comfily sat in her interrogation position on the mess of sheets on her bed. "'Cause I saw you kissing that girl through the peephole thing in the door."

"What?" Buffy managed to yell. "You were spying on me?"

"Well duh, but I couldn't really see much, the peep thing made everything kinda swirly. I could see it wasn't Cordy, though. Looked kinda like Faith, but that would be weird 'cause you hate her," Dawn explained, her big eyes studying Buffy and making her feel like crawling out of her own skin.

There should have been words to make Dawn feel bad, or to chastise her for spying. There should even have been words to discount any such assumption on Dawn's part. . .but there were none. Buffy shook her head and rested it in her hands as she took a deep breath and tried to think. She hadn't planned on talking to anybody about it quite so soon, much less her little sister. She had to at least try to explain, even if she didn't quite understand it all herself yet.

"Dawn, you shouldn't have spied," Buffy said in a quiet voice, feeling like she wanted to be swallowed whole by the bed. "And I'm not gay. It was just. . ."

"You sucking face with some girl," Dawn finished for her. "Right, I can see how that wouldn't make you gay."

"Ugh!" Buffy huffed, standing from the bed and snatching her robe from the chair nearby. "I'm not, she's just really nice, and I was a little drunk, and it just felt right, and I couldn't stop once we started because she was a really good kisser, and I don't even know why I'm telling you this." Buffy waved her hands around; making sure Dawn knew she was upset.

"Chill out, Buffy," Dawn told her sarcastically. "It's not a big deal. I mean, Willow's gay too and it's not like any of us treat her different or anything. You don't need to get your giant panties all twisted about it," she chuckled.

Buffy scrunched up her brow and tried to concentrate. "I don't have giant panties," she muttered as she grabbed her hairbrush from Dawn's bed and ran it through her hair.

Dawn shifted position, laying on her belly and looking up at Buffy as she sat at the stool by the dresser.

"Do you think you got infected with gay or something? First Willow, then you. . .if Xander's next it might be a demon that's doing it," Dawn chattered, twirling a finger in her ponytail.

"I did not get infected with gay," Buffy assured, sighing. "Nobody did. Willow's gay because she. . .just is, and Xander's about as straight as they come, and I'm. . ." She sighed again, at a loss for what to say or think.

She'd kissed Tru and liked it. She'd wanted more, thought about more. It hadn't been the first time either; hidden in her deep dark hole of denial was a past littered with thoughts about the fairer sex. She'd brushed them aside, called them something else, refused to acknowledge them. Faith had caused most, as soon as she'd spotted her on the dance floor of the Bronze. It had been hard to ignore then, tough to put down to anything but attraction. But Buffy had been able to sweep it under the proverbial carpet, turning it into mock disdain before crumbling just a little. . .until things had taken a big turn for the gruesome. After that, whatever latent feelings she'd had were pushed aside completely.

Tru had brought it all flooding back. Buffy couldn't doubt that, nor ignore it.

"I'm really confused right now." Buffy finished her sentence quietly, putting the brush down on the dresser.

"Who is she?" Dawn asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Her name's Tru," Buffy replied, smiling just a little as she said it.

"Was it the swirly peephole or did she really look freakily like Faith?" Dawn continued.

Buffy thought about lying; it wasn't as if she told Dawn everything, especially not lately. She knew her sister was about the least judgmental person she knew, however. Despite Dawn's faults, and their love/hate relationship, Buffy felt like she could talk to her. . .just a little at least. Just to help her sort it out in her own mind.

"Yeah, very like Faith," Buffy confessed, taking a breath full of woe. "They're pretty much identical. Twins in fact."

"Wow," Dawn said, her mouth dropping open as Buffy watched her reaction. "I didn't know she even had a sister."

"Neither did I. Chance meeting and oops I fell on her lips," Buffy said, rubbing at her brow and the headache that had taken firm hold.

Dawn moved up to sit on the end of the bed, her ponytail half falling out from where she'd been playing with it.

"I always knew you had a thing for Faith, but getting with her twin is kinda. . .strange," Dawn told her, obviously attempting not to provoke Buffy too much.

"It's not like I planned it. We went out so I could find out more about her, and then I was having fun, and she was so sweet, I couldn't help but. . .wait, you always knew I had a thing for Faith? How could you know that? I wasn't even sure I knew that," Buffy said in exasperation.

Dawn tried to hide her chuckle but it didn't work. She rolled her eyes at Buffy before telling her "It was pretty obvious, though I guess I am kind of observant. All the teachers say so," she beamed.

"Ok, so what exactly did you 'observe'?" Buffy asked, trying to think of times she might have given herself away in the past.

"Little things, like how you'd smile at her, or how you'd try not to go staring at her too long. When you did stare at her too long though, it seemed like you wanted to know what the inside of her pants looked like," Dawn explained simply.

"I so did not," Buffy protested, shaking her head.

She had to admit to herself that she'd wondered about the inside of Faith's pants a fair few times, quite inappropriately. It wasn't her fault if Faith had worn extra tight leather and had a sexy backside, though. She couldn't be held accountable for thinking lewd thoughts, especially as she'd tried her best to ignore them.

"I saw it, Buffy, and I'm pretty sure she did too," Dawn told her. "And she definitely did the same to you, like all the time."

Buffy sat and thought about Faith for a second; trying to remember the times they'd been together and shared furtive glances and unnecessary touches. She could see now that it was pretty obvious, but at the time fear - and Angel – had kept her from understanding it and indulging in it. She had never been certain Faith liked her, but looking back. . .she couldn't deny the fact there were signs; big flashing signs that said Faith wanted her, and that Buffy's ignorance had helped mess up anything they ever could have had, friendship included.

"You really think she liked me like that?" Buffy asked, knowing the answer now already.

"Without a doubt, Buffy. She would talk about you when you weren't around, and I know I was young but I could tell she was totally hot for you," Dawn answered.

Dawn had spent a fair bit of time with Faith before all the bad stuff had happened. She'd liked Faith, had seen her as a rebellious role model with her bad attitude and her cool clothes. It wasn't something Buffy had encouraged at the time. Faith was a loose cannon, and her sister's safety was never far from her mind. So she'd eventually made sure Faith didn't get to see much of Dawn; telling her she was busy with schoolwork or friends, when all Faith wanted to do was say hi. It hadn't been a nice thing to do, and it was one of many things Buffy now regretted.

Buffy picked at a thread on her robe, her brows knitted, head thumping and mind spinning in circles. Everything was moving so fast it seemed. She didn't know if she was ready to keep up.

"So you're at least a little bit gay then huh?" Dawn said, more a statement than a question.

The slayer shrugged, she didn't have the answer. All she knew was that she'd had thoughts about Faith, and now about Tru. If it made her gay she didn't know, maybe bi, or just looking for somebody that fit her side of the puzzle piece. Nobody had done that so far. There had been a time she thought Angel was her other half, but it was more of a need to cling to something she thought was solid. It was never going to work; he didn't fit her complicated puzzle shape. She didn't know if anybody ever would.

"You can't tell mom about this, Dawn," Buffy said firmly. "Let me figure it out before anybody finds out in fact."

"I won't tell anybody," Dawn assured, pushing herself up off the bed. "You might be hell to have as a sister, but I wouldn't tell people stuff like that. Anyways, I think it's kinda cool you're a lesbo, but I wish it was Faith you could be with and not Tru. . .yunno, if she wasn't all psycho and in jail 'n stuff."

Dawn left Buffy sitting alone as she disappeared into the bathroom. Sometimes her sister saw things so simply. Buffy didn't have that luxury; she wasn't comfortable with the whole label thing, and she couldn't figure out if it was Tru she liked or still just Faith. Whatever the case, she wasn't into her boyfriend anymore, that was clear.

Head pounding even more than before Buffy set about getting ready to leave, feeling like a changed person. Maybe not changed exactly, but certainly altered.

Arriving home, feeling somewhat relieved to be in a place she felt safer, Buffy flopped down onto her bed in her dorm and covered her eyes with her arm, trying to stop herself from thinking. The journey had felt longer than ever, the feeling of leaving behind the two girls occupying her thoughts making her itchy and uncomfortable. She'd felt the sudden urge to call Tru before leaving, then scrapped that idea in favour of seeing Faith. . .just to see her. Just to look. She hadn't done that either, which she was glad about. That would only have made things worse. She wasn't ready for big revelations and Faith would have wondered what the hell she was doing there.

Closing her eyes and feeling the snug comfort of her bed, Buffy thought about taking a nap, hoping to recharge herself after yesterday's rollercoaster of discovery. As she felt the fingers of sleep wrap around her however, a soft knock at the door roused her and forced her to open her eyes again. Shuffling off the bed, Buffy got to her feet and smoothed her clothes out so she could answer the door without looking too dishevelled. Pulling it open she winced internally and wondered why she hadn't just ignored it.

"Hey, Buffy," Riley said, looking a little lost.

"Hi," she answered, not opening the door further to let him in.

"Didn't hear from you yesterday, everything ok?" he asked, trying to look past her into the room.

"Everything's fine, I was just busy. . .helping mom and stuff," she lied. "I'm kinda tired though so. . ."

"Oh," he mumbled, scratching at the back of his neck. "Maybe we can get together later?"

"I dunno, I have an assignment to finish, and there's the slaying," she explained, hoping he'd get the hint.

"Right," he said, shuffling his feet. "You sure everything's ok?"

He was obviously wondering why Buffy was being so cold, but she couldn't find it in herself to act any different. She wasn't ready to call it off right away - she still had to figure some things out - but she certainly didn't want to have to spend time with him, trying not to let him touch her and act like they were ok.

"It's fine, I just need. . .a little space," she said, cringing at the line.

He looked suitably shocked and somewhat upset.

"I thought we were doing ok now," Riley responded.

Buffy didn't know what to say. She wasn't going to lie, but now wasn't the time to make rash decisions. She did still like him. . .it just wasn't how it had been.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?" she asked. "I just need today alone."

"Yeah, I just thought we could spend some time together and reconnect," he explained.

She knew all too well what reconnecting meant, and she didn't want to go there. Not now. Her mind was on other things, other people. The last thing she wanted to do was have sex with her boyfriend, and that pretty much told her all she needed to know about where they were headed.

"Not tonight, Riley," she told him. "I've got things to do. I'll call you tomorrow."

Buffy didn't wait for him to protest or try to talk her round, before smiling and closing the door as he backed away. She didn't feel good about blowing him off, but it was better than the alternative. Leaning her head against the door as she felt the pangs of guilt wash through her, she promised herself to let him down gently when she saw him next. It was the only way. She couldn't pretend.

Buffy also realised she needed to talk to somebody - other than her sister - about what she was feeling. Keeping it inside until it ate her away was not a healthy option. Without giving it a second thought she pushed herself away from the door and went to pick up the phone, calling Willow and asking her to meet her alone later. Buffy needed to work up to telling her about Tru and what had happened, and hopefully a little slaying action would help to relax her enough to talk without getting stressed.

She spent the rest of the day working through half finished assignments, finding it difficult to concentrate while thinking about Tru. Of course, thoughts about Tru soon drifted to thoughts about Faith, and from there on it was impossible to even look at her blank page without her mind wandering. It's not like she was having 'dirty' thoughts about them, mostly. She just couldn't stop comparing. There was no getting away from the fact that though she liked Tru because of her personality, she also liked her because she looked like Faith. It was like the perfect mix; Faith's good looks, and Tru's sweet nature. The mix was almost too good, as if somebody had seen her inner most desires and made them real.

It was no use agonising over it. She had to accept that she was hot for both girls in different ways. It was hard to accept it let alone even say it to herself, but there was no point in lying; Tru had made her smile, made her feel special, and turned her on, and Faith. . .well, she'd always turned her on, but it had been easier to ignore it, easier to imagine it hadn't happened. There had been sweaty training sessions that had tested her limits of self-deceit, close encounters while slaying that had pushed her into heated dreams about Faith at night. . .but Buffy had managed to keep it to a minimum. She was nothing if not focused.

When the time rolled around for her to meet Willow to go on patrol she almost felt like calling in sick. Having to explain herself wasn't a fun idea, but she knew Willow would want to know what had happened, and she couldn't avoid the fact that talking to Willow was probably about the best thing she could do. Willow had recently discovered her inner-gay, falling for a girl without even realising she had those kind of inclinations beforehand. It certainly couldn't hurt to get her best friend's advice.

After pocketing her essential slaying weapons Buffy made her way to knock on Willow's door, waving to Tara before they left, thankful Willow didn't ask questions right away. She waited until they were safely in the first graveyard before the conversation went from light to confessional.

"You gonna tell me what happened, or do I have to force it out of you?" Willow enquired as they walked slowly along the main cemetery path.

"No forcing necessary," Buffy assured, "though a stiff drink might help."

She grinned at Willow as she received a concerned look.

"You can talk to me about anything yunno," Willow told her, her sweet smile breaking down Buffy's defensiveness. "I'm all ears. Non-judgmental and best friend type ears."

"I know, Will," Buffy responded. "It's just not easy. I mean, I know I wanted change. I don't even know why I wanted change. . .maybe it's because I'm bored with normal. The change is kinda drastic, though."

"Normal?" Willow asked, just as a vampire chose that moment to crawl out from under a fresh pile of earth.

Buffy instantly made her way towards it, pulling her stake from her jacket pocket and giving it a twirl.

"How can you call your life normal?" Buffy's best friend continued, staying back. "I mean, you kill monsters and things. You dated a vampire. You died and spawned your evil nemesis Faith. . .in a way."

"She's not evil," Buffy called to Willow as she ducked the newly emerged vampire's fist.

"No?" Willow responded. "Are we no longer meant to not like her?" she asked, sounding puzzled.

"Really? I have no clue," Buffy said, rolling to the side as her feisty foe gave her a run for her money. "Stay still," she told it.

A flurry of fists were exchanged, with neither Buffy or the vampire seemingly getting the upper hand. Angst and slaying never seemed to be a good combination; Buffy's concentration always bore the brunt.

"Ok, I think I missed something, or you need to start at the beginning," Willow told her.

"The whole non-date date I had with Tru kinda turned into more of a date than I'd planned," Buffy confessed, punching the vampire hard in the face. "Ow!" she yelped, shaking her hand. "Did you come from the same factory as Adam?"

"Huh?" he grunted, cocking his head like a trained dog.

"Never mind," Buffy said, shaking her head and jumping forwards, finding herself on the end of a quick foot headed for her stomach.

"That looked painful," Willow commented, clearly wincing from behind a large headstone.

"You're going down," the vampire gloated as Buffy got back to her feet and dusted herself off.

Buffy swept her leg out, causing the big guy to tumble over. "So unoriginal, yet not too far from what I've been thinking lately."

She didn't give him time to ask what she meant, thrusting her stake down into his chest. He turned to dust with a surprised look on his face.

"He was getting annoying."

"I could see that," Willow pointed out with a nod.

Once Buffy had wiped her hands on her jeans and slid her stake back into place they continued to walk and talk.

"So it turned into an actual date then? I knew it," Willow said, her smile all goofy.

Buffy smiled too – unable to help herself - and nodded. "She was really nice, and it was fun just being around her. The kissing was nice too. And now Dawn thinks I'm gay, and I don't know what I am. I do know that I'd like to see Tru again," she admitted.

"Really? So she converted you in one night? Wow, she must be something."

Tru definitely was something, but Buffy had to concede that one night did not a gay girl make.

"Well, she's pretty wow, but I can't put it all down to her," Buffy confessed. "There were times before that kinda make me think I've had it inside, just waiting to be pushed out of me."

"That doesn't sound too good. In fact it kinda sounds like an Alien movie. Like your inner gay is gonna burst through your chest and run around squealing on the floor," Willow said, her eyebrows raising into her hairline. "And living in this place, I'm not too sure if that could actually happen."

Buffy snickered and scuffed her boots on the floor as they walked along the dark path. "I'm pretty sure nothing is actually going to burst out of me. I mean, it didn't with you, unless you kept it quiet."

"Nope, there was no bursting other than out of the closet when we were all fighting," Willow assured. "So, explain; what times are we talking about here that make you think it's always been there?"

Buffy took a deep breath and hoped her friend would understand. She barely understood herself so she was taking a risk with her honesty. Plus, Willow wasn't exactly a fan of Faith.

"I guess it started with Faith," Buffy told her.

"Faith that we're not calling evil anymore?" Willow asked.

"That's the one, haunter of my dreams and nightmares."

Buffy stepped from the rocky path onto the soft grass of the cemetery, leading them to an old broken tomb she sometimes liked to sit on if it was a nice night. It was sheltered under a large tree that had grown slightly crooked, its limbs drooping with age. She hopped up onto the stone slab and Willow followed suit.

"I guess being with Tru made me realise what I'd felt for Faith," Buffy told her.

"The overwhelming need to kick her in the head?" Willow asked, unable to hide her little smirk.

"Well, I did feel that towards the end with Faith, and sometimes in the middle. . .and actually at the start too, but there was more to it," Buffy responded. "I think I noticed right away that she was cute, and hot, and that it gave me strange little tingles."

"Tingles are nearly always a sign."

Buffy nodded and continued. "But I ignored it. . .as much as possible, which was quite a lot. I got the art of ignorance pretty much perfected. And after everything that happened I guess I just pushed it out of my head."

"But Tru showed up and kapow. . .you have tingles again?" Willow asked, sitting crossed legged next to Buffy and giving her all her attention.

"Yep," Buffy confirmed. "Lotsa tingles and a whole load of memories to deal with about how much I'd really actually liked Faith."

"That's gotta be pretty confusing."

"Totally. And every time I think about Tru I think about Faith too, and that's not great. Faith's in jail; anything we ever could have had is long gone. We'll never be fixable," Buffy said quietly, wondering if that's what she truly wanted.

She'd tried not to think about Faith since the last moment she'd seen her at the police station, but she was always lingering somewhere in her mind. Faith had arrived in her dreams a few times in the past, being somewhat provocative, teasing, touching Buffy or being partially naked – though she'd only just accepted the reason why – but since that day in LA Buffy's dreams of Faith never had quite the element of fun in them that she'd enjoyed. She felt like they were truly broken.

Willow rested her hand on Buffy's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I can't say I'm not a little surprised, Buffy," Willow confessed. "I mean, all I really remember is the bad stuff. I know you had some fun times with Faith before that, though. And I know she really liked you. I guess I just didn't think you'd ever be flying a rainbow flag."

"Me either," Buffy said with a soft laugh. "But then, I could say the same for you. One day I know you as straight-Willow, and the next you're all about the girl on girl."

"It's all about the girl. For me it's Tara, and for you it's Faith. . .and Tru," Willow said.

"And maybe once Cordelia, but that's because she'd walk around all naked in the shower after gym," Buffy said with a giggle.

"Did you used to check out Cordy in the shower?" Willow asked, her mouth dropping open as Buffy nodded. "Buffy Summers, you're a giant perv."

They both started laughing, the tension of the last few days dropping from Buffy momentarily. Her cover was blown, for herself as much as anybody else; she wasn't just the straight girl they'd all believed her to be. It felt scary, but Buffy couldn't hide any longer. She couldn't live her life worrying and denying; there wasn't time for that.

"So what are you going to do?" Willow asked as they jumped down from the tomb to continue patrolling.

"I really don't know," Buffy said with a sigh. "I can't stay with Riley, I know that for sure. It's just not going to work. And I can't even begin to think about getting in touch with Faith; too much happened. We lost any chance we had. Which leaves Tru. . .and she's so easy to be with."

"Sounds kinda like you do know what you want to do then," Willow pointed out.

"I guess," Buffy shrugged. "I'd definitely like to see Tru again."

It seemed simple when she said it all out loud, but inside she was still a mess. It was a big leap to make. Being with Tru would change more than just who she kissed or who she slept with, it would make people label her and discriminate against her. It was a pretty scary thought.

They finished the rest of the patrol mostly talking about college work, with Buffy just occasionally feeling the need to gush about Tru and how gorgeous she was. It made Willow chuckle and call Buffy smitten already. Buffy didn't know if she was smitten, it could have been residual feelings for Faith being transferred onto Tru, or it could just have been because she really did like the girl and the way she'd been with her.

Kicking her shoes off and relaxing as soon as she entered her dorm, Buffy promised herself to at least try to separate Tru from Faith. They weren't the same person after all, despite their looks. She had to keep that firmly in mind.

As she turned back her covers and started undressing for bed, she stopped and looked towards her cupboard at the far end of the small room. Slowly, Buffy headed that way, discarding her top and her pants as she went. She pulled open the door and shoved aside her clothes on the rail, looking deep into the darkness within. A shoebox lay hidden under some dirty laundry and Buffy bent down to fish it out. Throwing a slightly stinky sock back to the floor from its lid, she took the box over to her bed and sat down. Her fingers prised open the top and slipped within as she searched for what she'd almost thrown away on numerous occasions.

She had never followed through and banished it to the trash. There it lay, buried under a stack of old photographs and letters. . .her one picture of Faith.

It was from prom night, the one Buffy had mostly missed. Faith was in a small black dress, looking stunning though still dangerous and sexy. She was stood next to Xander, as he'd wanted the picture so he could ogle Faith in private. Buffy had never given him the copy, keeping it stashed away - out of sight out of mind. She looked at it now and shook her head, her fingertip softly brushing over the image of the other slayer. It hurt somewhere deep inside to know they'd become so broken, so lost. Buffy couldn't doubt now that she'd had a huge crush on Faith. . .but it went deeper. It made her heart ache, and that was almost as terrifying as ever imagining seeing Faith again.

There was no turning back.

Buffy put the shoebox on the floor beside her bed, and placed the photograph of Faith in her bedside cabinet drawer. Closer, but not close enough.


	4. Chapter 4

Edited somewhat to fit the M rating.

Chapter Four

College classes became a good distraction for a few hours for Buffy the next day. She threw herself into her studies, hoping to dull her brain and concentrate her thoughts on something other than her suddenly complicated love life. It worked up to a point, but she couldn't fool herself into believing she was free from Tru's - and Faith's - pull. Thankfully she'd been able to avoid Riley as he scoured the building looking for her, which greatly reduced the prospect of making her want to run to the nearest den of vampires to let them suck her dry.

Buffy wasn't looking forward to the conversation she knew they had to have. There was no escaping the fact it had to happen, no matter how much she ducked around corridor corners when she saw him heading her way.

"Are you trying to knock me over?" Willow asked as Buffy quickly stepped behind her.

"If it'll cause a good distraction for my getaway then yes," Buffy replied, bobbing out of view of Riley as he descended some nearby stairs.

Willow shook her head and turned towards Buffy. "You're going to have to face him sometime, Buffy. It's only fair."

"I know, I know," Buffy mumbled, looking suitably guilty. "I'll go after him." Buffy handed Willow her small stack of books, causing her to almost tumble over again. "Wish me luck."

Willow wished her luck as Buffy quickened her pace down the hallway to follow Riley. She tried to think of what to say, all kinds of explanations popping up in her mind. She couldn't think of anything appropriate. They'd been through quite a bit together, and that definitely counted for something. It wasn't like she just wanted to erase him from her life.

"Riley," she called, getting his attention.

He spun round, smiling instantly as he saw her. "I was trying to find you everywhere. Must have just kept missing you."

"Probably," Buffy said quietly. "I'm done for the day though so. . .wanna get a coffee?"

He nodded and they left the college campus and headed for the nearest coffee bar. Buffy would normally hook her arm through Riley's but it wasn't something she wanted to do now, not wishing to encourage him or lead him on. It made for an uneasy and mostly silent walk. Buffy had no doubt he must have realised something was wrong, but he didn't ask.

When they got their coffee and sat down he finally tried to make some contact with her, sliding into the seat beside Buffy at the booth they'd chosen. It effectively meant she was trapped by him, but that's how they'd normally sit together so it wasn't out of place; it just felt too close. Buffy wanted him further away before letting him down, but asking him to move probably wasn't a good way to start the conversation.

"So, did you get your assignments done?" he asked, placing his arm over the back of the booth behind Buffy's shoulders.

She felt like recoiling but held stiff. "Um, yeah. . .pretty much," she replied, sipping at her hot drink.

"Cool, maybe we can go out later then," Riley suggested. His hand drifted to Buffy's shoulder and he gave it a little squeeze. "I've kinda missed you, Buffy."

Buffy turned more towards him, effectively shrugging off his hand without making it too obvious. She hadn't missed him.

"Later? I have. . .a thing," she said, muttering into her coffee cup.

"A thing?" he asked.

"Yeah, I um. . .don't think I can come." Buffy almost rolled her eyes at herself, hating that she couldn't just get the words out and tell him they were through.

"I hadn't suggested a place to go yet," he said, his brow furrowing as he studied her. "I'm getting the feeling you're avoiding me, or trying to blow me off."

Buffy almost choked on her coffee. "No, no blowing of any description," she made clear. "In fact, that's kinda the problem."

"Problem?"

"Yeah." Buffy paused, chewing on her bottom lip as she studied the tabletop for help. No help appeared amongst the crumbs and coffee stains. "The thing is, I don't. . .I can't. . ."

There was no easy way to tell him she'd had enough. That he just wasn't ringing her bell anymore. That she couldn't stop thinking about a girl with long dark hair, two in fact. That there was no getting away from the fact his dingaling didn't make her feel the squishy feelings that it should. She'd had an epiphany, finally accepted something that had always been there, tentatively embraced the fact she wanted to try the thing she'd always been scared of. Buffy didn't think she was gay, but she knew there were other ways to describe the fact she now also liked the ladies and wasn't running from it anymore. She couldn't tell Riley that, though. No guy wants to hear that his girlfriend is suddenly jonsing for another girl.

"You can't?" he asked, trying to catch her eye. "You can't what, Buffy?"

Buffy took a deep breath and looked at Riley. "Do this," she answered. "I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry."

He shook his head, shrugging as if he didn't understand. "What do you mean? You can't come out with me? You can't get out of slaying? You can't drink coffee? Or. . ."

"It's the or," she confirmed before he could continue. "It's all about the or."

Riley rubbed at his forehead, shifting his weight so he was facing Buffy, his big frame imposing on her space.

"Buffy, I'm trying to understand here. . .could you make it a little clearer?" he asked.

Buffy closed her eyes and held her breath for a moment, desperately looking for words that wouldn't hurt.

"Wait. . .maybe I don't wanna hear the clearer version," Riley told her. "I'm getting the feeling it's not going to be good. Am I right?

Buffy opened her eyes and nodded sadly. "I'm sorry."

"Wow, ok," he said, sucking in a big lungful of air like he'd just been kicked in the stomach.

He gripped at the edge of the table with the hand not currently resting on the back of the booth, his knuckles going white as he looked off into the distance, the shine of unshed tears glazing his eyes.

"What changed?" he eventually asked. "I mean, I know things were a little strained a while ago, but we've been good lately. At least I thought we were."

"We were," Buffy agreed, feeling like a complete bitch for hurting him, but unable to fight the fact it just wasn't what she wanted anymore. "It's not you, it's me."

Buffy felt like hitting herself in the head for using such an obvious line once again on him. There seemed to be no getting around the fact she was going to hurt him, no matter how much she didn't want to.

"Did you seriously just say that?" Riley laughed so loud the few costumers sat at the other side of the diner looked their way. He wasn't laughing long, however. "That's pretty insulting, Buffy. If you're going to dump me do it right."

He was getting angry; the tears replaced by a cold hard stare.

"I didn't want to hurt you, and it is me and not you," Buffy explained. "I've changed and I can't just go back to how things were."

"Maybe I've changed too," he told her, his grip still tight on the table as he leaned towards her. "Of course, you wouldn't have noticed. You never do these days."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked him, getting a little angry now herself.

"I guess it doesn't matter now," he responded, his chest rising and falling fast as if he was out of breath. "All the time we've been together I've never really known you, but I wanted to. I was willing to follow you anywhere. I went against everything I'd ever trusted for you, and this is how you repay me?"

The table cracked under his grip, a small fracture easing its way outwards. He didn't let go, moving closer to Buffy and causing her to have to back up against the wall at the side of the booth.

"I never asked you to do anything," Buffy pointed out, trying to keep her voice low even if he wasn't doing the same.

"No, you just expected it; like you expect everybody to follow you. To fall in line. To be one of your scoobies," he said, his face getting red as his hurt and anger collided. "Hell, you even get the vampires eating out of your hand, amongst other things," he spat.

"Ok, stop," Buffy said, raising her voice to his level. "I'm done with this conversation. I tried to break it to you nicely because I really don't want to lose you as a friend, but I'm not staying here to listen to this."

"Of course not. Stupid of me to ever think you'd actually listen, Buffy. That wouldn't be your way, and we can't have that." Riley let go of the table and looked towards the large crack he'd caused. "Things change, like you said, but you're still expecting me to roll over and play good doggie."

"I'm not expecting anything; this conversation is over," Buffy said firmly. "We're over. Now let me out, I have things to do."

Buffy tried to stand so she could move past him, but it was impossible in the small space he was giving her.

"I said we're done, so let me out," she repeated, looking him right in the eyes.

He didn't move, his jaw clenching as his eyes darted between hers and the small space between them. He looked like he could do something stupid anytime soon; his brow beginning to shine as a droplet of sweat rolled down his temple. It reminded Buffy of the time he'd started getting withdrawal symptoms from the drugs that had been pumped into him by the Initiative. He hadn't had contact with them for quite some time as far as Buffy knew, but he just didn't look right. It almost scared her to see him like that again.

"Riley, I'm only going to say this once more, now move before I move you," she told him in a threatening tone.

"We all change, Buffy," he said, his eyes piercing and stern. "One day you'll actually see I'm a good match for you; that we can be perfect together. I'll be around, Buffy."

Riley stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans and looking around as people glanced up at him. He was breathing hard, his muscles twitching and his demeanour imposing. Buffy felt worried for him as much as hurt by his words. She didn't follow him as he strode off, however. It was best to let him go and cool down. She'd just given his ego a huge dent, and there was nothing she could do to put it right. She couldn't lie and tell him they'd be ok, or that she wanted to struggle through for him and forget about Tru, and Faith. There was no doing that this time. She'd pushed Faith out of her mind for Angel, but it wasn't an option now. There was no way she'd ever go searching for anything with Faith, but she couldn't deny her attraction anymore, no matter how strange it was to feel that way about a girl who'd spent a lot of time fighting her.

Buffy made her way back to the campus slowly, trying to work out where her life was headed. Things had seemed so much simpler just a few days ago, but now she had new choices, new possibilities; a whole new world to discover. It was like she was seeing everything differently. Seeing the world through new eyes. Every pretty girl she passed made her think about what she'd always wanted. Buffy wasn't blinkering herself anymore; finally able to allow herself the indulgence of being attracted to girls. It was surprisingly liberating. Buffy felt unconstrained by her own need to fit in and be normal now that she'd thrown the shackles off.

Closing the door to her dorm Buffy scanned the room for any stray possessions belonging to Riley. She realized almost right away that there was nothing of his there. She hadn't been the kind of girlfriend to keep tee shirts or sweatshirts lying around, wanting to have the smell of her man close by for her to reach out and grab. That kind of thing hadn't appealed to her, at least not where Riley was concerned. There was nothing for her to pack up and leave outside for him to come and get. He was gone.

It didn't make her feel quite as happy as she thought it would now she'd done the deed, but she did feel a sense of relief. At least now she could move forwards unhindered. Maybe Riley would calm down and they could at least salvage some kind of friendship from the break-up. Buffy decided she'd like that. He'd mostly been a good man. . .he just wasn't the one for her.

As Buffy flitted about her room, tidying, doing laundry and readying herself for the night's patrol, she found herself thinking more and more about Tru. She couldn't stop thinking about their date, especially the kiss at the end. It'd knocked her socks off. She'd never felt so immersed in just a kiss. Just the memory of it had her tingling in all kinds of places that made her smile. It made her hot; it made her know she wanted Tru, and that the fact she was Faith's twin sister wasn't going to dissuade her from pursuing her. There was no getting her out of her mind.

It stayed that way most of the night as Buffy patrolled, taking her frustrations out on the local vampire population. She asked one newly risen vampire if it was wrong of her to want the sister of a girl who'd tried to kill her, but he didn't have an answer. He'd just shrugged before she turned him to dust. It seemed nobody had the answer but her. Willow kept telling her to do what made her happy, what felt right. . .but Buffy wasn't certain what felt right.

It felt good thinking about her, about kissing her again, but it also felt kind of strange. Almost as if she was fooling herself into thinking she didn't want Faith. Maybe that was what it was: a way for her to have Faith without the drama. Without the baggage and the hurt and all the anger that came with Faith. She wasn't sure if she cared. All that really mattered was what made her happy, as Willow kept telling her. If it happened to be Tru, then Buffy couldn't stop herself from wanting to walk that way.

She'd done enough sacrificing for the greater good. All she'd ever tried to do was the right thing, but it didn't always work out that way. Her mess of a friendship with Faith was testament to that. This time she was going to go with her gut feeling, and that was all kinds of swamped with butterflies when she thought about getting closer to Tru.

There had been no choice but to break up with Riley and look ahead. His verbal attack on her had surprised Buffy, and his physical reaction was worrying, but there was nothing she could do about it now. If he needed help she would be there for him, but she couldn't be the girlfriend he needed. Not now.

When she got back to her room she was satisfied that she wasn't going to keep stepping backwards, and that her only option was to find out what it felt like to give in to what she wanted. If that meant embarking on the scariness of being with another girl, then Buffy was prepared to face it, and any backlash her friends might give her for it being Tru she chose to do it with. Willow was being fairly cool about it, but she knew Xander would have more of a problem. Any reminder of Faith would get him feeling uneasy, so getting into something with Tru was bound to make him question Buffy's sanity, and possibly more.

She didn't want to think about upsetting him, or anybody for that matter. Telling her mother would be out of the question, at least for the time being. She had no idea what she would even say.

"Oh hi, Mom, nice dress. . .by the way, I'm gay and fucking Faith's identical twin."

Buffy winced as she said the words aloud, but also felt one of those tingles drift through her when she stumbled on the thought of fucking. The kissing had been full of wow so she could only imagine what the rest would be like. It's not like she hadn't had fleeting thoughts about it when Faith had showed up. She'd quashed those thoughts, but they'd spawned a few naughty dreams that always got Buffy hot and bothered. She'd never given in to the temptation of dwelling on them however, always running to her boyfriends to confirm her 'straightness'. There was nowhere to run this time. She didn't want to run.

Smiling to herself as she slipped into bed, Buffy started feeling good about the way Tru was making her feel. She hoped Tru felt the same otherwise all the agonizing would be over nothing; not that she'd ever just sweep it under the carpet now and pretend like she hadn't accepted something important about herself. She still felt the need to find out if Tru even wanted to take things further despite the obvious interest she'd shown. There was no point in thinking about what was in store if there was no possibility of even getting to that point with Tru.

Rolling to her side Buffy plucked her cell phone from her nightstand. She brought up a box to start a new text message and paused, not knowing what to say. Hello would probably be a good start she decided. She typed it in shorthand and tried to think about how she was going to turn her new desire into sensible words. There wasn't room for much so she'd have to make it clear what she was feeling without being overwhelming or weird. She certainly didn't want to scare Tru off.

She decided on "Hey, sexy. Was just thinking about you. Do you want to meet up again soon? I'd like to maybe try that kissing thing out again." She typed it all in shorthand, hoping Tru would be able to decipher it. Reading it back it sounded kind of lame, and the two kisses at the end looked almost too cheesy, but she didn't have a clue what else to do or say. She wanted to show interest, but not in a stalker-like way. Dating girls was new; Buffy didn't know the rules yet.

Pressing send she thought maybe calling her sexy was a bit forward, but she could always claim it was just because it was true. Tru most definitely was sexy, and sweet, and in the naughty regions of Buffy's brain she was also very fuckable.

Buffy lingered on the idea of it, playing with it in her mind. . .imagining the touches, the soft skin all naked and heated, new tastes, sounds and sensations. Yeah, she was definitely looking forward to dipping her toe in to that particular pool. It made her nervous just thinking about it, but it also made her smile to herself.

A chirp came from her phone and she picked it up and hit open to view the new message she'd just received. It was Tru. Buffy noted the same amount of kisses at the end of the message before reading what it said.

"I was thinking about you too and would definitely like to meet again. Maybe this weekend? The kissing part sounds really good. I'll look forward to it."

It was also in shorthand, but Buffy was able to work out exactly what it said. It made her smile and look forward to the weekend and all the possibilities of more. She'd have to come up with some excuse to go to LA, but she was sure she could swing it. Tru was thinking about her, and that gave the tingles extra tingly bits. She was about to send a message back but realised she probably shouldn't appear as overeager, after all she'd already told Tru she was thinking about her and wanted to meet her. She decided to leave it until tomorrow and took one more look at the message before placing her phone back beside the bed.

Buffy was asleep in no time, her body relaxed and her mind giving her a little peace as it stopped trying to analyze every little detail of her life. Sometime before morning - and the loud buzzing of her alarm - she slipped into a dream that took her just a little by surprise.

In her dream she was in a large bed, sheets in disarray around her, and she wasn't alone.

"Buffy, don't stop," Tru said, panting, her fingernails scratching at Buffy's back.

Buffy tried to catch her breath as she opened her eyes to see Tru underneath her, her face flushed and glistening as Buffy lay between her legs. She took a second to just enjoy the sensation of Tru being tight against her, so soft and perfect, her legs holding Buffy firm, their breasts pressed together. Buffy was hot and damp, her body slick with sweat, the moisture between her legs spilling over Tru in the naked and intimate embrace. She could feel how wet Tru was for her as she moved, sliding against her as she held herself over her.

She felt like she was on fire, currents of energy running through her as if she was a live wire sparking, crackling, ready to release its power. Buffy leaned down and kissed Tru passionately, sweeping her tongue into her mouth as she moved faster and harder against her, sure about what she was doing. Tru moaned and held tighter, bucking up into Buffy and slipping over her just enough to have them both gasping with pleasure as they tried to kiss and breathe at the same time.

"Oh God," Buffy sighed as she felt herself being swept along, on the brink.

Kissing over Tru's face and neck, Buffy concentrated on moving in just the right way. Her concentration was soon stolen by the feel of another hand sweeping over her back. Instinctively she looked to her left, and wasn't as surprised as she should have been as Faith lay grinning at her, resting on her side next to Buffy and Tru.

Faith's fingers travelled down Buffy's back as she continued to move against Tru, who seemed oblivious to the new addition.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy finally asked Faith, as Tru writhed underneath her.

Faith smiled and looked Buffy up and down. "You brought me here, B. I'm guessing the reason's pretty obvious."

Buffy shuddered over Tru, easing them both closer to the edge of no return. She closed her eyes and hoped Faith would be gone when she opened them, but she was still there, her dark eyes piercing Buffy's as she lounged beside them in her black leather pants and tight tank top.

"I didn't bring you here. I don't want you here," Buffy told her, not questioning why Tru wasn't asking what was happening or who she was talking to.

"That's not true, Twinkie," Faith responded. Her hand glided over Buffy's backside, fingers slipping slowly between her legs. "You know it's me you want and not her. You don't want sweet and safe, you want hot and dangerous."

"Fuck," Buffy moaned as Faith's fingers reached their goal.

She couldn't help but, invite Faith in as she tried to keep pressed against Tru at the same time.

"It's always me you wanted," Faith said huskily into Buffy's ear, her hot breath causing her to quiver as much as her touch.

Buffy arched against Tru as Faith's fingers slipped easily into her from behind as she gasped. Tru pushed upwards, her body shaking beneath Buffy as she began to shake, moaning Buffy's name into her blonde hair. Buffy once again tried to concentrate on Tru and forget the fact that Faith's fingers were joining in the fun. It was no use, she was about to reach her climax and she couldn't pull her eyes from Faith's. She wanted to call out Faith's name, but Tru's sighs and pants reminded her who she was meant to be with. So she kept it inside, repeating Faith's name in her head as she let go.

"Oh yeah," Buffy moaned loudly.

She shook hard as Faith kept her fingers pushed inside her.

"You want me, B," Faith whispered in her ear. "That'll never change. You want me fucking you, coming for you, hot and wet all over you."

She ground harder into Tru beneath her, receiving a cry of pleasure as they both tumbled on the crashing waves rolling through them.

"Faith. . .please don't. . .don't stop," Buffy gasped as Faith moved her fingers faster, sending Buffy over the edge again.

As she watched Faith's grin ease deliciously over her face, Buffy felt the corners of the dream blur and fall away. She opened her eyes wide, staring into the darkness as she lay on her back all alone, her sheet sticking to her hot skin as she gripped onto the headboard behind with one hand. Buffy's body was still charged, her muscles tense, tightening as she trembled and came without even needing to touch herself.

"Faith," she sighed into the early morning light as she felt herself release.

As Buffy shuddered to a rest, her panties damp with arousal, she moved her arm to cover her eyes, hiding herself from the empty room as she tried to gather her thoughts and feelings.

She couldn't quite believe she'd just come so easily, without touching, without anything but thinking of how it felt to have Tru pressed against her and Faith deep inside her.

It wasn't like she'd never had a sex dream featuring Faith before; it'd happened a few times in the past, but it had never felt so real. And of course this time Tru had been there. She'd been with Tru, and Faith had made sure she wasn't forgotten about. It was clear she was going to have to work harder to get Faith out of her mind so it didn't spoil the potential possibilities with Tru. She didn't want that spoiled.

There was no doubt she'd just come because of Faith, however. It didn't sit easy with her. Buffy didn't want to keep wanting Faith when there was no hope there.

"Get a grip," she said to herself. "She's gone and you don't want her. You don't even like her."

Her words were shaky, unconvincing. She felt unsteady and unsure. There was no way she could cling to the desire she felt for Faith; that would only lead to being hurt. To being let down and left alone. It wasn't going to be easy, not now she was sure of how deep her attraction ran, but Buffy knew she had to do her best. If she was to stay sane and still see Tru, she had to push Faith out of her mind. . .and her dreams.

Even though it wasn't yet time to get up, Buffy pushed her covers back and climbed out of bed. She needed a shower - preferably cold - and a long hard run. She'd beaten back her desire for Faith once before, so she could do it again. It just took focus, and having somebody else to occupy her thoughts always helped. It had helped to have Angel, and it had helped to have Riley for a time. Now she was hoping it would help to have Tru, even though it seemed insane to think being with Tru would do anything but make her more crazy for Faith.

Buffy was willing to try. There was no way she could just walk away from Tru. There was no way she could walk away from that small link to Faith, even if she was determined not to have Tru turn into some kind of replacement. She wouldn't be a replacement. Buffy wouldn't let it just be about having a replacement; not when Tru was so much more. . .real, and safe.

She needed that, and no matter what Faith had said to her in her dream, she knew she wanted that. She just had to convince her body of the same, as it was apparently having different ideas.

Focus. That's all she needed. She would focus on Tru, and convince herself that it wasn't about Faith.

**Continued...**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Buffy threw her bag over her shoulder and sauntered through the grounds of UC Sunnydale. The weather was hot, the sun bright, and people were enjoying their lunches and downtime spending time outside. She scanned the large expanse of grass before her for Willow, spotting her past the benches and the general clutter of students, near the back by a large tree. Willow's skin wasn't a fan of too much sun so she was shading herself under its leaves, book in one hand and sandwich in the other.

"Hey, Will," Buffy said cheerily as she approached. "No Tara today?"

Willow smiled up at Buffy as she set her book down, making a space for her on the little blanket she had laid out. Willow always seemed to be prepared for lunches on the lawn.

"She's still in class," she replied, looking a little down about it.

"That's a shame; it's such a nice day." Buffy sat down on the blanket, crossing her legs and snatching a sandwich from Willow's lunchbox.

Willow nodded, not commenting on Buffy's thievery. "It's a wonder Riley isn't here, looking around for you," she said. "Or did you do the bad deed?"

"There was no bad deed doing, or ever will be again with him," Buffy pointed out, pausing before realising what Willow had actually meant. "Or if you meant the bad deed as in the not so nice deed, then yes. . .it was done. We're no longer together."

"How did he take it?" Willow asked.

"Not so good. He went all Neanderthal and started being mean, broke a table and generally made me want to kick his ass," Buffy answered.

"That doesn't sound like a good break up," Willow said between bites of her sandwich.

"Are they ever?" Buffy sighed and rested back against the tree, watching as the few people closest to them got up to go. "It's done though, and now I can move on to have freaky dreams like the one I had last night."

"Freaky how?" Willow enquired.

Buffy didn't know if it was a good idea to share how warped her mind could be, but she decided that if she left out the details it would do her some good to get a second opinion. She needed to bounce her thoughts off somebody, and Willow was her best choice.

"Freaky as in I was with Tru," she told her.

Willow threw the crust of her sandwich back into the box and brushed the crumbs from her lap. "With Tru as in 'with' Tru?"

"Yep, there was definitely 'with' going on. Naked with," Buffy confirmed.

"And that freaked you out?" Willow asked.

Buffy ran a hand through her hair, making sure nobody was around or nearby enough to hear. She was still just getting used to the whole being-attracted-to-girls thing so she didn't want anybody overhearing and blabbing about it just yet. She hoped to avoid the judgements for as long as she could.

"Not so much freaked out by that - or her - no," she responded. "In fact. . .it was kinda nice." Buffy blushed a little, remembering the intimate feel of the dream. "Although, I don't know how I knew we could do that together, or. . .yunno, if it's even doable."

Buffy blushed some more as Willow raised an enquiring eyebrow. "I probably don't wanna know, what with you being my best - practically sister-like – friend, but what exactly were you doing?"

Buffy chewed on her bottom lip. "Well, I was on top of Tru, between her legs, and there was definite grinding and. . ."

"Ok, I get the picture," Willow interrupted, clearly flustered and getting embarrassed as she raised her hands in the universal stop-before-you-go-too-far sign. "And that's definitely doable."

Buffy couldn't help but smile. It had felt nice being like that with Tru, so knowing it wasn't just something she'd made up, and was something they could actually do, made her feel a little excited.

"It was definitely nice," Buffy continued, "but then that's where it gets weird."

"Go on," Willow prompted, resting her elbows on her knees as she listened.

"I was into Tru and the sweaty nakedness, and she was all moaning and. . ." she stopped as Willow's expression clearly stated she didn't need to hear more of that. "Ok, you get the picture I know. And just as it was getting to the best part. . .Faith turns up."

"Yikes!" Willow exclaimed.

"That's what I thought, at first," Buffy told her. "But then. . .she kinda got involved."

Willow's eyes went wide. "That sounds like Xander's favourite daydream."

"I dunno about that, I mean. . .he's not exactly a fan of Faith now," Buffy pointed out.

"That's true," Willow agreed. "So. . .without telling me too much and sending me to an early grave, what happened?"

"I kept telling her I didn't want her there, but she was all typical-Faith and being all full of herself, and then suddenly I was full of her and. . ."

Buffy paused, feeling herself getting wet with the memory of the dream. It had been damn sexy, even if it had also been completely strange. She'd tried to keep it out of her mind all day so she didn't have to keep running to the nearest bathroom to relieve the tension it caused inside her. Maybe telling Willow hadn't been her greatest idea.

Willow sat with her mouth hanging open. "You had sex with them both at once?"

"Yeah," Buffy replied sheepishly. "But it wasn't like it was my fault. It just happened. She said I'd brought her there but I'm pretty sure I hadn't."

"Was it a slayer-dream?" Willow asked.

"No," Buffy replied, "they're a lot more confusing, not that this dream wasn't. It was just different confusing."

"At least Faith wasn't really there then, I mean. . .in the slayer-dream sense," Willow said. "Unless you wanted her there with you and Tru."

Buffy scrunched up her brow, thinking about how awkward it would be if it had been a slayer dream; one in which Faith would have woken fully aware of both Tru and her interest in them both. As hot as it had been in its own perverted way, she was still glad it had just been a regular dream.

"No, I didn't want her there," Buffy said with a determined nod. "I need to keep Faith out of my mind, and most definitely out of my bed."

"Who's keeping who out of what bed now?" came a confused query from behind the tree.

"Xander!" Buffy practically shrieked, shaking her head at Willow, her eyes bulging and trying to make it clear she didn't want Xander knowing. "We were just talking about. . .girly stuff."

"Well, I'm practically one of the girls, feel free to share," he said cheerily as he flopped down onto the blanket.

"It was nothing important," Willow said confidently.

"I broke up with Riley," Buffy admitted at the same time.

Xander furrowed his brow and looked between Buffy and Willow, his eyebrow raising. "So breaking up with Riley wasn't important?" he asked.

Buffy let out a long breath, trying to think of a way to explain things without giving away too much. It's not that she didn't trust that Xander wouldn't react badly to her liking girls, it was the fact it was Faith - and her very twin-like sister Tru - that was giving her cause for concern.

"Not unimportant just. . .no point in getting down about it. It's just over," Buffy told him.

Xander nodded and picked up the crust from Willow's sandwich, chewing on it heartily. "Thought you guys were good together. I mean, he was no Angel – all dark and handsome with the broody obsession thing going on – but you two always seemed ok," he said, little crumbs of crust dropping from his mouth to his lap.

"It was ok. . .and that's just it," Buffy explained. "There was no wow-factor. And I'm really trying to ignore your Angel comment; his brooding was sexy, for a while."

"Sure it was," Xander said with a soft smile. "His brooding was definitely of wow-factor extremes."

Buffy playfully slapped Xander on his arm, causing him to wince and pout.

"So, is this about Angel or is there a new hottie in town I haven't seen yet?" Xander asked. "Not that I normally go around calling guys hotties but I'm trying to fit in. . .as one of 'the girls'."

Willow chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"No new hottie," Buffy replied.

She tried not to think of Faith, and of Tru, but the word hottie kept spinning around in her mind. They were both definitely hot. They were both definitely the reason she'd had to dump Riley. Lying didn't sit well with her, but neither did upsetting one of her best friends, and she knew for sure that Xander wouldn't understand why she couldn't stop the way she felt about Faith.

"And it's not about Angel," Buffy continued. "So not about him."

"Good to know," Xander said. "You need a nice – alive - guy in your life. . .that also has the whole wow thing going on obviously."

Buffy smiled and glanced away. She wasn't thinking about guys, she wanted something else. Something different.

"We'll see," Buffy mumbled, turning back to her friends.

She wished she could tell Xander, but for now it was better to keep it under wraps. The fewer people that knew about it, the less she would feel inclined to freak out.

"So, are we gonna head out tonight on the prowl for hot young men? I'm thinking the Bronze. It's been a while," Xander exclaimed.

"I'm getting a little concerned about your fascination with boys, but no, not for me. . .I have studying to do tonight," Buffy responded.

"I agree with Buffy," Willow added. "I think we need to have a little talk about your interest in being one of the girls, Xander. I'm not sure I'd like to see you in heels and a dress."

"Disturbing," Buffy agreed.

"Hey, I'll have you know I look pretty in a dress," Xander grumbled. "Not that I've. . .yunno, it's just that Anya likes to play. . ."

Buffy raised her eyebrows and Willow's eyes went wide.

"Ok, I'm done talking now," Xander mumbled. "I gotta get back to work."

He stood, brushing crumbs from his pants as they said their goodbyes.

"Sometimes I worry about him," Willow commented as they watched Xander scurry away.

"I'm sure it's fine, and normal," Buffy said, trying to convince herself. "And the less I know about what he gets up to with Anya the better."

"Agreed."

The two girls smiled together and shared a little laugh as they packed away Willow's blanket and began making their way back inside.

"So, we're not telling Xander then?" Willow asked as they entered the building.

"For now," Buffy replied. "I don't think he'd be too happy with me being gooey eyed over Faith. What with her taking his virginity, kicking him out, then trying to kill him. Pretty sure that kinda thing upsets guys."

Willow nodded in agreement.

"Besides, I really don't want to hear the tale of how Faith got him in to bed again. The first six times were enough," Buffy grumbled.

"Jealous?" Willow asked. A sly smile pulling at her lips.

"Maybe a little," Buffy admitted coyly. "Though not of the strangling. I'm not that kinky."

"Glad to hear it," Willow said cheerily. "I'm all for alternative lifestyles but I think I'd be a little worried if fighting with Faith turned you on."

Buffy felt herself getting hot and forced herself not to blush. It wasn't her fault if she did actually get a little turned on when she fought with Faith. It was just one of those things she couldn't stop; like being into her in the first place.

They fell into silence as more students gathered around them heading to their classes.

The cool air flowing through the college corridors eased over Buffy's skin, making her feel fresher and ready for the next cycle of studying. If she concentrated really hard she could push out lascivious thoughts about Tru and Faith just enough to actually learn something. At least she hoped that would be the case. So far it was proving more difficult than she'd hoped.

She was glad Riley hadn't popped up to mark his manly territory again, hoping not to see him or speak to him until they'd both cooled down. Though she couldn't blame him for being upset, there was something about his reaction that worried her. Still, she couldn't dwell on it. She'd been honest with him - up to a point - and that had to be better than leading him on. Buffy hoped he'd be able to see that one day so they could be friends.

Making friends out of her exes seemed to be a difficult task, however.

After boiling her brain for several hours in the dusty lecture halls that seemed to deter learning rather than encourage it, Buffy fell backwards onto her bed. She kicked off her shoes and stretched out, the soft breeze coming through the open window blowing over her just enough to cool her.

The day had only gotten hotter, and her thoughts had followed suit. Far from being able to push aside her new desires, she couldn't help but get caught up in them. Now she'd allowed herself to think about sex with Tru, and therefore Faith, she couldn't stop. Every time she tried to focus on something else it only brought her right back to thinking about nakedness with either girl. How she'd managed to turn thinking about shoes into having sex with Tru in the back of a shoe store she'd never know. . .but that's how her brain was working. It just wouldn't let it drop.

Buffy wondered if maybe a night out at the Bronze would be a good idea after all, but there was too much potential there for remembering dancing close to Faith. Thoughts of dancing were good, but it only served to confuse her and make her feel bad for then wanting to call Tru.

"I'm a bad, bad person," Buffy said to herself as she rolled off the bed and started changing her clothes.

It was getting late already, the sun beginning to slip out of view. She'd spent more time studying in the library that evening than she thought she had all year and she didn't feel any better for it. Her stomach rumbling reminded her that she needed to eat before slaying or even entertaining the idea of going out.

Grabbing a TV dinner from the fridge, Buffy shoved it into her little microwave and pressed the on button, pulling on some comfier pants and a tee shirt she wouldn't mind getting vamp dust all over. She pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and took her hasty dinner out of the microwave once it pinged.

"Yuck!" she grumbled, but carried on eating the offensive meal anyway.

It wasn't luxurious living by anybody's standards, but at least she didn't have Dawn under her feet or her mother fussing over her. It was nice being alone. It was even nicer knowing Riley wasn't going to come plodding up the hall for some night time exercise that she'd lost interest in several weeks ago. It hadn't been his fault, things had just been destined to fall apart no matter how hard she'd tried to keep them together.

Once she'd eaten, Buffy made her way out into the oncoming night, her thoughts clearer than they'd been all day. Now was the time for slaying, not for horny thoughts about hot girls she'd like to. . .

"Hey, Slayer."

Buffy paused as she made her way along the now deserted college campus paths.

"Ugh!" she grunted. "Don't you have anything better to do other than follow me around, Spike?"

"Wasn't following you," Spike mumbled as he threw a half smoked cigarette to the floor, moving closer to Buffy as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Just thought you might like some company."

He shoved his hands into his coat pockets as he loitered in the shadows.

Buffy rolled her eyes before glaring at him. "Why the hell would you even begin to think I'd want you around me, or even need company?"

"Heard on the grapevine you and your soldier-boy split up," Spike said, his nonchalant expression doing nothing to hide his keen eyes as they travelled over her.

"Stop looking at me like that," Buffy told him, pulling a face that clearly showed her disgust. "And exactly where in your vineyard did you hear that?"

"It's a grapevine, Love, not a. . .never mind," he huffed. "I just heard about it. Wondered if you were, yunno. . .alright."

Raising an eyebrow, Buffy studied the vampire before her. He was harmless now – mostly - but she didn't trust him. He'd helped them, but she hadn't liked it. Still, she needed to know how he of all people knew about her split with Riley. It wasn't as if she'd shouted it from the rooftops.

"So, who told you?" Buffy asked firmly, stepping closer to him.

"Came from a friend of a frie. . ."

"Cut the bullshit and just tell me. I'm not planning to spend my night stood here talking to you, I have better things to do, and actual real vampires to slay," she gibed. "Either you know and you tell me, or you don't know and I beat it out of you."

Spike backed away, his long coat flapping a little in the soft wind.

"No need to get tetchy," he said with a pout. "Some demon in Willy's let it slip. Said Riley had told him."

"Willy's?" Buffy asked, wondering why Riley was chatting to the local demon population, and why her love life was suddenly the talk of the underground.

Spike nodded, fidgeting with his packet of cigarettes as he took another one out to smoke.

"That's weird," Buffy remarked, glancing away from Spike as she tried to remember if Riley had any friends who were a little less than human.

"Yeah, and like I said. . .thought you could use some company. With the slaying stuff," Spike muttered, interrupting her thoughts. "So, where we off? Graveyard? The old warehouse district? I hear there's some vamps using an old building to. . ."

"I can't make this any clearer, Spike," Buffy began, her voice low and menacing. "I don't need you with me."

She turned her back on him and began making her way further down the path towards the main street. Spike's boots clunked on the ground behind her, following closely.

"Didn't you hear me? Got too much bleach seeping into your brain?" Buffy asked, twisting back around to glare at him. "Don't follow me."

Spike grinned a little and took a long drag on his cigarette. "Sure thing, Love. Just so happens I might be going the same way as you, though."

As she headed off again his footsteps continued behind her.

Buffy blew out an exasperated sigh and did her best to ignore him. She had enough to deal with without wasting her energy arguing with Spike.

He stayed with her as she slayed, helping out but mostly just getting in the way.

Thankfully he'd kept fairly quiet and she'd been able to keep her irritation levels to a minimum. He'd made it clear he wasn't going to leave her alone, and with no other option – having ruled out just staking him – she'd allowed him to tag along. He hadn't been able to tell her any more about Riley or the demon he was apparently pally with, but he had enough information for her to worry. It seemed like Riley was now spending more time in Willy's than was probably healthy.

There was nothing she could do about it yet; it was too early in their break-up for her to go offering Riley friendly advice. She was concerned for him, but she didn't want to make things worse.

Once she got home to her small dorm room she began to relax a little. Being around Spike always had her feeling on edge. He prickled her slayer sensors, and not in a good way. At least he'd managed to keep her mind off Faith and Tru, though seeing the little red light flashing on her answering machine brought them right back into her thoughts. There was a message from Tru, asking Buffy to call so they could make plans for the weekend.

Buffy smiled as she listened to it twice, enjoying the soft tone of Tru's voice as she spoke. Her voice was a little less low and husky than Faith's, but no less sexy. It was different, but the same enough to have Buffy wishing she could make up her mind about which she preferred. She liked both, for different reasons.

Shrugging off her jacket Buffy checked her watch. It wasn't yet too late to call, or at least she hoped it wasn't. She rang Tru's number and waited for her to answer, playing with the cord on the battered old phone perched by her bed. The dialling tone gave way to a click and a beep before an answering machine message greeted her. She was sad that Tru wasn't answering, but it was fairly late so she couldn't complain too much.

When the machine finished speaking – an automated message rather than Tru herself – Buffy began to leave her message.

"Hi, it's me. . .Buffy," she said, trying not to sound retarded, even though she always felt it when talking to a machine. "You're probably in bed now so. . ."

"Hi," Tru said quickly, sounding a little out of breath as she picked up the phone. "Sorry, Buffy, I was in the shower."

Buffy groaned internally and pushed the heel of her hand against her forehead, trying - and failing – not to think of Tru in the shower. The image lodged itself in place, mocking her and teasing her. She could practically feel the heat from the hot water as it dribbled over Tru's naked body; little droplets easing over her skin, down her back, over the firm curve of her backside.

Post slaying hornies were making their presence felt.

"Buffy?" Tru said, obviously trying to get her attention.

"Huh?" Buffy blinked, the daydream refusing to leave her alone as she tried to focus. "Sorry."

She shook her head and took a deep breath.

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, just. . .you said the word shower and my mind went to a bad place. Actually, a good place, but bad when I'm trying to talk and make actual sense," Buffy rambled, feeling her pulse quickening as Tru chuckled down the line.

She sat down heavily on her bed and tried to remember that she hardly even knew the girl. Having such thoughts about somebody so soon was a little unnerving, and totally distracting.

"I'm not usually like this, not so soon anyway," Buffy said with a soft sigh. "You're probably wondering about my sanity."

"Not at all. . .I think you're kinda cute," Tru said, a slight chuckle to her voice. "And to be honest I don't normally get to the thinking-about-somebody-none-stop stage so quickly, so we're both probably going a little insane."

"At least it's not just me."

"Definitely not," Tru assured.

Buffy grinned and felt the little butterflies in her stomach start flapping. It seemed like Tru was as in to her as much as she was in to Tru, making her worry a little less about steaming ahead into steamy thoughts.

"So," Tru began, a soft shuffling sound coming down the line as she moved around, "when you were just thinking of me naked in the shower, were you there?"

Buffy closed her eyes and felt her hand getting sweaty where it was gripping the phone. Tru's voice was rolling over her, and the images in her head weren't going away any time soon.

"Actually I wasn't. . .but I so am now," Buffy replied, imagining herself stepping into the shower with Tru.

She almost felt like she could reach out and touch Tru; trail her fingers over her bare skin as trickles of water flowed over her. The heat wrapping them up until she was pressed against her, soft and wet. The daring thoughts made her blush, and Buffy bit her lower lip, feeling all kinds of naughty for allowing herself to think about being close to Tru like that.

"That's a nice thought," Tru said quietly, sounding slightly breathless.

Almost shuddering with the knowledge Tru was getting as turned on as she was, Buffy bit her lip a little too hard and had to restrain herself from yelping.

"All kinds of nice. . .and new."

"New?" Tru asked.

"Yeah," Buffy answered, hoping she wasn't just about to put Tru off. "I've never - well not really - thought about a girl quite so. . .with the nakedness and the kissing."

There was a pause in the conversation and Buffy wondered if Tru had ran from the phone to get away. She knew it couldn't be a good thing to have some straight girl suddenly digging you. A straight girl who didn't know the first thing about being a lesbian and all that went with it, especially in the bedroom department. She hoped her little revelation hadn't blown her chances.

"Wow, I didn't know," Tru said, her voice still soft, her tone sweet and kind. "I wouldn't have asked you out if I'd known. Not that I wouldn't still want to but. . .I don't wanna make your life all complicated."

"But I'm glad you did," Buffy reassured. "There's no way I coulda walked away without. . ."

She didn't know what she wanted to say, or what would be appropriate. There was a fine line between really liking somebody and straying into scary-stalker territory. She most definitely didn't want to come off as some kind of loony who picked up girls even though she was straight.

"I get what you mean," Tru said, making Buffy feel at ease a little. "But if it's too. . ."

"It's not too anything," Buffy said, interrupting.

There was no way she wanted Tru backing off. She had to reassure her.

"I'm not thinking I like you just out of curiosity," Buffy confessed. "I'm just obviously not as straight as I thought I was. The imagining you naked - and being naked with you - pretty much clears up the whole doubt about being into girls, or to be more exact. . .being into you. So maybe I'm bi. In fact. . .I think I am. Maybe even more than that because I really just can't stop thinking about how hot it would be to be with you."

Buffy took a big breath, her head spinning from her little confession. She still wasn't used to saying it out loud, and she'd probably said way too much.

"Yeah, you're definitely way cute. Especially with the whole babbling thing," Tru said, her grin almost audible over the phone.

"Hey, I'm nervous here, this is. . ."

"New," Tru finished for her, her smile still evident in the way she spoke.

"But new is good," Buffy said with a nod.

"Yeah?" Tru asked.

"Oh yeah," she replied, hearing Tru rustling around on what she imagined to be her bed.

It was getting hard to think past the naughty thoughts, but it was late and they still hadn't agreed on plans for the weekend. Buffy needed to know when she could see Tru again, even though a little voice in the back of her mind kept telling her it was really Faith she should be going to visit. She ignored the voice.

"Before this gets all kinds of even newer for me, maybe we should talk about this weekend," Buffy prompted, changing the subject.

They made hasty plans for Buffy to travel up by bus for the weekend. It would mean staying over on Saturday night, so Buffy would have to find an excuse to get out of slaying and training. She knew she'd be able to come up with something, so they arranged a time for Tru to meet her. Tru told Buffy she could sleep in her bed and that she'd take the couch when Buffy had swallowed hard at the prospect of staying overnight. It wasn't that she didn't want to be intimate with Tru, it was just that it was too soon. Tru didn't seem to mind at all, making Buffy feel relaxed about staying, and not pressured into going further than she was ready for. It was so clear how different to Faith she really was.

"So I'll see you then, Buffy," Tru said as they finished up with their plans.

"You most definitely will," Buffy replied, smiling all big as she felt a little jolt of excitement run through her.

They'd be going on their second date, and that meant more smoochies. It also meant more thinking about Faith, but Buffy hoped spending more time with Tru would make her mind understand that it wasn't Faith, and that she didn't still want Faith. If she concentrated she could almost believe it was possible.

After saying their goodnights Buffy changed and climbed into bed. There would be no sleeping easy with her mind still going in circles, and the prospect of more dreams making her horny, and crazy.

Tomorrow was another day, and in a few more she'd be arriving back in LA, feeling a whole lot better about the place now that she had Tru to visit there.

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

The weekend arrived quickly, which Buffy was grateful for as she hoped that seeing Tru would stop her thinking about Faith. Stop the insistent babble of her brain as it told her she was crazy for even contemplating seeing more of Tru. She'd decided she wasn't going to listen to her brain any more, she would work on instinct. Luckily her instincts were currently leading her onto the bus that would take her to LA.

Buffy wasn't a fan of buses, but as she didn't have her own car she had to make do. Her mom was back in Sunnydale now, but asking to borrow her car for the weekend was just asking for a headache. There was no way she'd just let her take it, even if she was a good driver. It had been hard enough getting out of dinner plans her mom had tried to wrangle Buffy into for Saturday. She'd been able to come up with an excuse however, and Giles had bought the same story. As far as they knew she was visiting Cordelia and Angel.

Her mother had been a little worried about her seeing Angel, but Buffy assured her they were just friends, and that there would never be anything more than that between them. She tried to convince her it was also work related. It worked despite the fact Dawn rolled her eyes through the whole conversation as she lingered near by. Dawn knew Buffy wasn't going to LA for anybody but Tru. Though Buffy had tried not to talk about it with her sister she'd been left with no choice but to let her in on the secret. Little sisters could be evil, and Dawn was the most evil of all.

Thankfully Dawn promised not to say anything as long as Buffy allowed her to borrow the clothes she'd left behind at the house. Buffy didn't mind too much; she'd left those clothes behind after all, so they weren't her favourites. The things she'd never let Dawn within reaching distance of were all safely tucked away in her wardrobe back at her dorm.

The journey to LA was slow going as the bus idled its way through the Saturday traffic. It finally pulled into the station on time, the breaks screeching it to a halt at 6pm.

Buffy glanced out of the windows hoping to see Tru, but an old lady was bustling her down the aisle so she had to grab her bag and move quickly before she got jabbed with a walking cane. She felt a little hot and sticky after sitting on the bus; the day was warm and humid, and the air-conditioning hadn't done much more than give her a dry throat. Her legs needed a good stretch, and she desperately wanted a nice cold drink.

A child of about six kept backing into her as she tried to walk down the aisle, his snotty nose dripping onto his lip as he looked up and grinned.

"Ugh!" Buffy said under her breath, pulling a face that only made his grin wider.

His parents were rather large, and squeezing between the seats was obviously a difficult manoeuvre so it was taking some time.

Eventually she reached the doors and felt the heat of the day wash over her. It seemed cooler on the bus and that was saying something.

"Kids these days. . .no respect for their elders," the old lady muttered as Buffy was practically shoved from the bus by her.

"Hey!" Buffy yelped as her foot felt the prod of a misplaced cane. "That was my foot."

The old lady kept walking and continued muttering as Buffy hopped to the side, glaring and feeling just a little pissed off. Next time she'd make sure her seat was at the front so she could jump off as soon as they stopped.

"Good trip?" somebody asked from behind her, a sensual chuckle making it obvious who it was.

"Tru," Buffy said as she turned around, "please tell me you have a car so we don't have to get another bus to get to your place."

Tru laughed and nodded and Buffy couldn't help but smile. The whole ordeal of travelling on a bus seemed to float away as she gazed at the girl before her. The trip had most definitely been worth it.

"We can stop at mine first, then if you're hungry we can eat out, or check out what's on at the movies. Whatever you want," Tru said, her smile warming Buffy more than the heat of the sun.

"I can't think much past a cold drink and being able to wash my hands and face," Buffy replied, feeling gross and sweaty still.

Taking the bag from Buffy, Tru nodded and dug in the pocket of her jeans for her car keys. Buffy wasn't used to people carrying her stuff for her – not when they all knew she was far from incapable of carrying things no matter how heavy. But Tru didn't know about her being a slayer, and it was a sweet gesture. She smiled softly at Tru and walked beside her through the small car park.

They reached a shiny black car that looked like it had sped off the set of Starsky and Hutch. It didn't seem to have much of a back seat and only had two doors. It looked kinda sexy and seemed to suit Tru perfectly as she was wearing dark jeans and a small black sleeveless tee shirt. Her silver bangles and hoop earrings ensured the look wasn't too butch, and all in all Buffy had to say it had her feeling all kinds of tingly. There were hints of Faith about Tru, but she was different enough for Buffy to be able to feel somewhat comfortable being so attracted to her.

"Nice car," Buffy commented as Tru unlocked the passenger side and opened the door for her.

"1971 Camaro," Tru said as she held the door open as Buffy slid into the leather seat. "My dad fixes old cars up, and this was a birthday present."

She closed the door and walked around the front of the car to the other side, Buffy watching her every step as she pulled on her seatbelt.

Tru placed Buffy's bag in the back seat and settled into her own, fishing around in the glove compartment for some sleek black sunglasses before clicking her seatbelt in to place. Buffy couldn't take her eyes off her, just basking in the effortless beauty of the girl. She realised she probably looked like a total dork, but she couldn't help herself.

"Sorry I couldn't pick you up from Sunnydale, Buffy," Tru said before they pulled out. "Rehearsals all day and the director's being an ass."

"It's ok, I wouldn't expect you to," Buffy assured.

"Maybe next time," Tru said with a smile as she turned toward Buffy, placing her arm over the back of her seat so she could look through the rear window to pull out of the parking space.

Watching Tru – still unable to take her eyes off her - Buffy decided not to tell her that she wasn't ready for people back home to know about her yet and that picking her up probably wasn't the best idea. Buffy didn't want to cause any uncomfortable tension other than what she was already barely containing.

Tru seemed so at ease and it was making Buffy want to feel at ease too. Her nerves about the day were slowly dissipating as they made their way to Tru's apartment, but she was still edgy.

They arrived fairly quickly and made their way up the stairs, chatting about nothing important as they became acquainted with each other again. It was all a little surreal to Buffy, but she was trying not to dwell on that. If she thought about how her life had taken this sudden turn she'd find all those nerves and doubts come rushing back and she didn't want that to happen. It was best not to think about the fact she'd just dumped her boyfriend to start dating a girl – a girl who looked like somebody who had hurt her deeply. Wondering exactly how she'd gone so quickly from being the person she had been, to the person now walking into a potential girlfriend's apartment made her dizzy. It was best not to think, and just let go for once.

"You can get cleaned up a little in the bathroom if you want," Tru said, as she pulled off her sunglasses and threw them down with her keys onto a coffee table.

She handed Buffy her bag and Buffy thanked her.

The apartment wasn't big, but it was nicely decorated and furnished. The room they'd walked into from the stairwell was one big open plan space. The kitchen was to their right and they were stood in the living room area. Beyond the couch and TV was a large bed near a big window that looked out onto the street below. It looked cosy and there were pink and purple cushions strewn all over the couch and the bed.

Buffy liked it, though looking over at the bed made her stomach flutter a little.

"I'll just wash my face and check my foot for broken bones," Buffy said, turning from the bed to Tru.

Tru chuckled and pointed her in the way of the bathroom.

It was larger than Buffy thought it would be and she glanced around as she closed the door. There was a large tub as well as a shower and she couldn't help but let her mind wander into naughty territory. The tub was definitely big enough for two, and she had a nice image of the two of them in amongst a plethora of bubbles. She couldn't imagine lounging around in a tub full of bubbles with Faith, but she could see that happening with Tru.

Trailing a fingertip along the side of the tub, Buffy tried to think of how Faith would look in it with her, but the image just wouldn't come. No, Faith was more of a shower girl in her head; hot, steamy sex against the tiles rather than in amongst a bunch of girly bubbles. Both thoughts crammed their way into her mind and she had to sit down on the toilet for a second in order to collect herself.

She had to stop thinking of Faith that way. It wasn't fair to Tru.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy managed to push away the image of Faith taking her up against the tiles. She stored it away in her brain and locked it there as she finally made her way to the sink to clean the grime of the bus off.

When she left the bathroom she was greeted with an ice cold bottle of coke. Just what she needed for her parched throat and the steamy thoughts still bumping around in her mind.

"I like your tub, it's roomy," Buffy blurted as she took the bottle of coke from Tru.

"Thanks," Tru responded, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry," Buffy said, looking up a little through her eyelashes, a cute smile on her lips. "I was just thinking. . .bubbles and. . .probably better not to say."

Tru raised her eyebrow even further and Buffy had the urge to stroke her fingertips over it. She didn't of course, not wanting to look like a complete idiot.

She looked away from Tru only to find her eyes drifting back to the plush bed that made her butterflies go crazy. Slamming her eyes shut and telling herself to get a grip before opening them again, Buffy blushed a little and found a comfy looking spot on the couch to drop into. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She was acting like a horny teenager, unable to think of anything but getting the girl she liked naked. It wasn't what she was used to and it was unnerving.

"So," Buffy said quickly before Tru could ask more about what she'd been thinking, "I'm starved and would love some of that delicious pizza. Would we be able to eat there again?"

Buffy hoped that giving her stomach something other than the butterflies to munch on might help her to stop thinking like a sex-starved horn dog.

"Sounds like a plan," Tru responded as she took a seat next to Buffy, placing her own bottle down on the coffee table in front of them and pulling her cellphone off it.

She was close to Buffy and those butterflies just wouldn't stop bothering her.

"I'll give Luigi a call and tell him to keep a table," Tru explained as she flipped open her cellphone.

"Great," Buffy practically mumbled as she found herself wanting to shuffle closer to Tru.

The air seemed to grow hotter as Tru talked to Luigi as she leaned back into the sofa cushions beside Buffy. She kept throwing in the odd Italian word and Buffy was finding it incredibly sexy.

Her bottle of coke forgotten about after a few swigs, Buffy placed it on the table beside Tru's. She turned towards her a little way – leaning back against the sofa also - and looked into her dark eyes as they sparkled her way. Tru wasn't done talking to Luigi, but Buffy decided the only way for her to move past the nerves and the overwhelming need to touch Tru. . .was to actually touch her. She had to take control of what she was feeling.

Eyes still fixed on Tru's, Buffy placed her hand on her thigh, just letting it rest there as she felt tingles shoot over her fingers. Tru smiled gently, her free hand moving to stroke softly up Buffy's arm. Buffy felt tingles there too and she did her best to enjoy them rather than be scared by them.

It wasn't so different than being close to a guy for the first time after all – apart from the fact it was totally different, and intriguingly much hotter.

With a few more final words in Italian Tru flipped her phone shut and placed it beside her. Buffy knew she should probably say something; at least explain why she'd suddenly started fondling Tru's leg, but words failed her as she found herself drowning in Tru's beautiful eyes as they leaned towards each other.

Her heart beginning to pound in her chest, Buffy's lips yielded to Tru's instantly. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the softness of Tru's lips as they moved over her own. It wasn't long before a gentle hand cupped her face and they were kissing more fully. Buffy sighed quietly as Tru's tongue slid over and around her own. She squeezed the thigh still under her fingers and her stomach flipped with the little moan that escaped Tru.

There would be no going out for pizza if they continued, and Buffy wasn't sure she was ready for them to get to that place together yet. Still, the kissing was good, very good.

Pulling away to catch her breath a little, Buffy licked her lips, tasting cherry lip balm and heat. "You're making me not want pizza, and that's unheard of," Buffy said a bit breathlessly.

"So is that a good thing?" Tru chuckled, moving her hand down from Buffy's cheek to rest on her hip.

"Yes and no," Buffy said coyly, her fingers making small circles on Tru's leg, not noticing that her hand was moving more between them to the inside of her thigh. "More kissing like that – which was all kinds of wow again – and I'm gonna start rumbling in the tummy area. And that's definitely not of the good. It'll probably scare you off, and I don't want that."

Tru's tongue slipped slowly over her bottom lip into the deep cleft as she gazed at Buffy – a simple motion that made Buffy's insides squirm excitedly.

"I'm not gonna be scared off so easily, Buffy," Tru said, her voice deeper and more throaty. "But we're definitely not going for pizza if your hand doesn't stop moving up the inside of my thigh like that."

Her brown eyes travelled down to where Buffy was stroking her softly between her legs, and Buffy's followed suit. She had only noticed how close to feeling Tru up she was now that she was looking at her own fingers inching their way north.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, flustered.

She pulled her hand away and looked suitably stricken.

"I wasn't complaining, Buffy," Tru pointed out, reaching for Buffy's hand and taking it in her own to rest on her leg. "It's just kinda. . .distracting if we're planning to go out. That's probably my fault for thinking of you the way I have, though."

Buffy furrowed her brow a little and scorned herself for allowing her hand to wander. Then she wondered what Tru had meant exactly.

"Thinking of me how?" she asked, pretty sure what the answer would be but feeling compelled to ask anyway.

It was probably not a good idea and would only make her more horny, but her mouth had opened and said the words before her brain could stop her.

Glancing away and then back to Buffy, her thumb stroking over Buffy's hand, Tru let a little grin slip out before answering. "Thinking of you with your hands on me, and mine on you. . .with nothing in-between us."

Buffy swallowed harder than she'd meant to.

"Nothing in-between us?" she repeated, her body way ahead of her mind as it began to become more aroused.

"Like clothes for instance," Tru clarified, smiling.

Buffy couldn't resist allowing her gaze to wander over Tru's body, imagining her naked. "I thought that's what you meant," she said, getting carried away on what she was feeling.

This was all too soon, though. Too quick.

"I've. . .been thinking about it too," Buffy confessed, "but it's. . ."

"Too soon," Tru finished for her. "I know, Buffy. I wouldn't ever make you feel uncomfortable. I'm not making you feel uncomfortable am I?" she asked, looking a little worried.

"God no!" Buffy assured. "Well actually yes, but not in a bad way."

"Is there such a thing as good-uncomfortable?" Tru asked, edging away a little.

Buffy didn't want her to edge away. She wanted Tru sat on her lap, lips on hers and getting more acquainted with each other's skin; but those were scary thoughts, even if they were currently her only thoughts.

"It's more like. . .feeling way-out-of-my-depth-uncomfortable, but that's because of me, not you. Well actually it is you, but in a good way," Buffy said, sliding her fingers through Tru's on her lap, hoping she hadn't confused the hell out of her.

"I understand, Buffy. We don't have to rush anything," Tru said softly, her brown eyes so full of warmth that Buffy had trouble not just staring into them.

"Thank you," Buffy said, dropping her eyes to their hands before she found herself drowning in brown.

She felt suddenly shy again, her brain catching up with her body as it became aware of all the feelings rushing through her. She wanted to touch and kiss Tru, but it was all so different and new. She had to remember her morals and that she didn't sleep with people so early on, or even want to. Though that wasn't so completely true, she wasn't ready to accept it wasn't.

"How about we go for that pizza," Tru said with a smile, letting go of Buffy's hand and getting ready to stand.

"Sounds good to me," Buffy responded, "but first. . ."

She gently cupped Tru's face with her hand and kissed her enough to reassure her that she was definitely more than still interested. Buffy didn't want Tru getting the wrong idea.

As they parted, Tru sighed softly. Buffy could feel the tension rolling off her. The desire under the sweet demeanour. It was kind of sexy and Buffy felt her stomach twist in anticipation. When she was ready. . .they were in for one hell of a ride.

They made their way to eat, the tension lying low as they enjoyed the meal and each other's company. Buffy felt completely at ease with Tru, smiling and laughing and just being herself. . .without all the slayer parts of course. She didn't plan on telling Tru about being a slayer for now. It was nice to be seen as more than that. Tru didn't want to be with her because she was some kind of super-hero, she just wanted to be with her because she was Buffy; just a little blonde from California.

After the meal they had a slow walk to catch a late movie. Buffy found it entirely natural to reach out and take Tru's hand in hers, and Tru was happy to comply. It was nice and though a few people glanced their way, she didn't care. Tru was an extremely attractive girl, and Buffy was proud to be walking hand in hand with her even if it did make her slightly nervous as they stood in line for the movie as a few boys pointed and made rude gestures. They ignored them mostly, though Buffy stuck her tongue out at them just before giving Tru a peck on the lips before they went in.

During the film Buffy tried to keep close to Tru. She couldn't help herself, and the fact it was a horror film gave her a pretty good excuse. Of course, horror films didn't scare her – she'd seen it all before for real – but Tru didn't have to know that.

"You ok?" Tru whispered as Buffy jumped at a gruesome scene.

She placed her hand over Buffy's and held it, giving it a squeeze that made Buffy smile.

"I am now," Buffy replied.

After eating far too much popcorn and spending the rest of the film trying to jostle it out of her teeth with her tongue, Buffy decided the best part was just getting to cling to Tru. It had been a long time since she'd been able to comfortably play the girly part with somebody. Not to say she was all butch and manly any other time, but people always expected her to be different. To be stronger. She was a girl who liked pink and being taken to the movies and looked after, even if she was super strong and had seen more gross things than anybody would ever want to see; it was nice that Tru was happy for her to be clingy and girly. She'd tried to be that with Riley on occasion, but it had never felt right. In fact, nothing really had felt right with him.

It was late by the time they got back to Tru's apartment, though there were still a few people out and about, enjoying the warm night as they had a good time. Up on the fourth floor of the six floor apartment building, the noise from the street below was muffled; just a quiet buzz in the background. It was soon drowned out as Tru switched some music on and they collapsed onto the couch, sharing a bottle of wine.

Buffy sighed happily as she took a drink and then placed her glass on the coffee table. She sank back into the sofa and its cushions, watching Tru do the same.

"I had a nice night, thank you," Buffy said as she pulled her feet up onto the couch and faced Tru.

"Me too, Buffy."

Tru placed her arm over the back of the couch close to Buffy, and Buffy had the urge to scoot forward so she was closer. She was hesitant, however; not wanting to be too forward even though she felt relaxed enough to be.

"You look uncomfortable again," Tru said, her voice soft and reassuring though she looked a bit nervous herself.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, leaning over to take another gulp of wine, placing it back on the table and deciding to just let go a little more. "I just. . .feel like I want to be closer to you, and I guess I'm worried I'll be too forward, or that I'll do something wrong."

"Buffy," Tru said, the gentleness to her tone obvious as she took Buffy's hands in her own, "I'm ok with anything you do. I like you a whole lot. I don't wanna freak you out but I like you a whole lot more than I've liked anybody at this stage so. . ."

Buffy moved forwards quickly and kissed Tru. Her forward momentum caused Tru to lean back a little way so Buffy was practically resting on her. She'd heard all she needed to. She felt ok with taking a few risks, and she seriously just wanted those gorgeous lips on hers again.

It wasn't long before the kissing became full on making out, and Buffy was enjoying it immensely. She was between Tru's legs, but not quite in a lascivious way. There was just enough distance between them to avoid possible rubbing up against each other as they kissed soft and slow. Her hands were at Tru's sides, holding her but feeling the ever increasing need to let them wander. Tru's hands were less restricted, travelling from Buffy's neck to her shoulders, and sometimes into her hair; it was heating Buffy up to no end.

A small moan escaped Buffy as Tru's tongue flicked over and around her own, making her stomach tense and her body slide up a gear. They kissed open and heated, needing more air in their lungs and breathing quicker, the small distance between them decreasing every second.

"I could stay right here and kiss you all night," Buffy sighed as Tru broke away from her mouth so they could both catch their breaths.

She didn't go far, moving her lips only as far as Buffy's jaw and neck.

"I totally agree," Tru responded, her full lips leaving warm trails over Buffy's throat.

Buffy shuddered as she felt Tru sucking slightly, her head tilting to the side to give her more room to explore. Her neck was a sensitive spot, and Tru was making her giddy with desire.

"Mmm, that's good," Buffy said, her voice low and breathy.

She could feel herself edging towards wanting more and her hands – she suddenly realised – were already reacting. One of her hands had dropped to the hem of Tru's tee shirt, and was slipping casually underneath, seeking out the skin she wanted to touch.

Tru chuckled deep in her throat as Buffy's fingers slowly moved upwards under the material and Buffy stopped, pulling her head back to look into Tru's eyes.

"Not good?" Buffy asked, unsure whether she should continue.

"Definitely good, if it's what you want to do," Tru replied, always trying to be considerate.

Buffy smiled and kept her eyes locked on Tru's as she pushed her hand just a little higher, feeling Tru's soft skin as she stopped just under her ribs.

Tru chuckled again and bit her lip, and Buffy realised what the problem was.

"Ticklish?" Buffy asked, looking up through her eyelashes.

"No," Tru replied, shaking her head as she held her breath.

Buffy didn't believe her and wiggled her fingers.

Instantly Tru began squirming and laughing, and Buffy knew right away that she was correct in her assumption. She moved her other hand under her shirt and tickled Tru furiously as they both giggled and squirmed. Buffy made sure to hold back her strength - she didn't want to hurt Tru after all – but that soon became her downfall when Tru retaliated by tickling back.

"No, no, no tickling Buffy," Buffy cried as she laughed.

"Oh, so tickling me is fine," Tru said with a grin. "I see how it is."

She tickled more feverishly and Buffy tried to jerk away. Pretty soon they were a tangled mess on the couch with Tru hovering over Buffy, getting Buffy to beg her to stop.

"Ok, no more," Buffy pleaded, tears in her eyes. "I'm gonna pee if you keep doing that."

Tru stopped instantly and grinned down at Buffy, their hands still under each other's shirts and the heat between them almost unbearable.

"You don't play fair," Buffy whined as Tru moved her hands again, causing Buffy to wriggle slightly again.

"I'm not tickling you now," Tru pointed out, leaning down and kissing Buffy passionately.

They both groaned, Tru's position between Buffy's legs as she lay back on the sofa making the kiss more fevered and hungry. Buffy's right hand skirted further up Tru's top, hitting the bottom of her bra as she became bolder than she'd planned. She sighed as Tru sucked on her bottom lip, and felt the desperate need to pull her down on top of her so they were pressed completely against each other. Still being nervous about being with another girl held her back.

Tru released Buffy's lip and placed kisses over her chin and down to her throat once again. Buffy brushed her thumb up over Tru's bra, feeling the edge of the material. She let out a shaky breath, and then another one when she realised Tru's hand was also dangerously close to her chest.

"This ok?" Tru asked, kissing a little further down towards Buffy's collar bone.

"Yeah. . .this is good," Buffy said breathlessly, her leg moving up a little way to hold Tru between her thighs.

She could feel her panties getting wet, each kiss and soft brush of Tru's fingers teasing her into wanting more. The heat and the intensity between them was overwhelming and beginning to scare her, but she was sure she could keep some level of control. She wasn't going to sleep with Tru - not yet. It was too soon, and this was just making out. There was no harm in just making out. . .even if it was getting her incredibly turned on.

Tru made her way back up to Buffy's lips, their tongues slipping easily into each other's mouths as Tru finally rested a little more weight on her. The contact made them both moan and Buffy's hand slid further up Tru's top where it moved a little more round to the side. She felt the sleek material of Tru's bra, and then the gentle curve of her full breast through it.

Her body flushed, hot arousal seeping into her panties as her fingers touched Tru tentatively. She wanted to unclasp the bra and feel her fully; her fingertips desperately wanting to feel nothing but skin, and search out her hard nipple. The sheer force of desire shocked Buffy to her senses a little, and she pulled her hand back.

"Whoa," Buffy said, her voice trembling, "getting a little carried away."

Tru looked down at her, her eyes dark and full of barely controlled lust.

"I didn't mean to push too far," Tru said, lifting herself off Buffy a little way.

"You didn't," Buffy clarified. "I did."

They sat up, untangling from each other as they caught their breaths and rearranged their clothing.

As they sat facing each other on the couch; Buffy could barely hold herself back. All she wanted to do was take Tru into her arms and kiss her until their clothes fell off and they were left naked against each other. Not tonight, though. Buffy wasn't ready to be naked with another girl yet, as much as she'd been thinking about it. She was scared of doing it wrong. Scared of making a mistake and hurting Tru, both physically and emotionally.

Buffy excused herself to go to the bathroom, leaving Tru looking flustered as she sat finishing her drink on the sofa. She knew it wasn't fair to leave her hanging, but Buffy had to take a step back.

Letting out a nervous breath as she leaned against the closed bathroom door, Buffy ran a hand through her slightly tangled hair. She felt like Tru had pulled on the threads holding her together, making her spin round in a dizzy spiral. There was no doubt she wanted to be with Tru, but even if her body was screaming go, her mind was yelling stop.

She had to decide which one was louder. And then decide if she should follow its instructions.

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry 'bout the delay to these last updates, guys. They've been on my site a long while but I've totally slacked putting them here. And don't worry, there will be Faith/Buffy ahead, I promise :)

Chapter Seven 

Staring at herself in the mirror, Buffy tried to get control of her raging hormones. It wasn't easy, and she didn't even know if she should bother with the struggle; they both wanted the same thing, so it wasn't bad or wrong. Still, she didn't feel entirely comfortable just jumping into a sexual relationship so soon. She wanted to be sure it was for the right reasons. . .and she couldn't do that yet. Faith was still lingering in her mind. Still mocking her and confusing her.

Faith with her dangerous dark eyes and bad attitude, her sexy swagger and voice; calling to her though the haze that Tru had created. She couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to kiss Faith. To touch her the way she'd almost touched Tru. There would be no waiting or holding back with Faith – it would be all fire and passion and big huge mistakes in the making. Buffy knew she was doing the right thing waiting with Tru. She knew because it wasn't what she would do with Faith in the same circumstance. . .and things with Faith had always turned out badly.

Buffy found her resolve and walked back out of the bathroom. She smiled as soon as she saw Tru, and knew she was in trouble. Tru was everything she wanted right now. Even if she wasn't Faith, she looked like her, and she was far easier to get on with. It was easier being around her. Easier thinking of her in the way she was. Just easier all round. Did that make it less exciting? She had to concede that maybe it did, but right now she didn't care. It was nice being around her, and nice knowing they could be headed towards something really good.

Of course, Buffy tried not to think of the fact wanting something at all with Tru was going to turn her life upside down. She couldn't even imagine telling her mother or being out and open in the middle of Sunnydale with Tru; it was all just a little too strange and surreal to think about.

"You ok?" Tru asked, sitting on the edge of the couch.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, just tired I think," she said. "Maybe we should go to bed. I mean, not together, just. . .yunno, sleeping."

Tru chuckled and shook her head before standing and moving closer to Buffy.

"I know," Tru said, her smile warm and comforting. "I'm not gonna push you into anything. I'll be sleeping on the couch."

Buffy felt herself blushing, feeling silly for being such a dork. It wasn't like she didn't do sex; she'd done a fair bit of sex and wasn't a prude by anybody's standards, but she still felt completely shy around Tru in that respect.

Tru walked past her towards a cupboard and pulled out some sheets and a pillow for herself, as Buffy took her bag into the bathroom to get changed. When she came out again, Tru was already laying on the sofa. Things felt a little awkward and Buffy played with a button on her pink, teddy bear pyjamas before making her way to the bed.

"Night, Tru," she said as she crawled under the soft sheets, watching as Tru made her way towards the light switch on the wall by the door.

She was wearing a small tee shirt and some very small shorts. Buffy couldn't help but stare, watching the subtle movement of Tru's leg muscles as she walked, letting her eyes wander over the bare skin and wanting to touch, to feel those legs wrapped around her.

Forcing her eyes away, Buffy did her best to keep her thoughts pure, but it was like battling against an army of demons wielding large red signs that said "shoe sale" on them – not something easy for Buffy to ignore.

Tru said goodnight and turned off the light before walking back and getting onto the couch. Buffy tried to detect a note of anger or annoyance in her tone, but there was none. Tru just wasn't going to push her she guessed. It was a good thing, but somewhere deep inside Buffy had the niggling little sensation that she actually wanted Tru to come bounding over the back of the couch to just take her. Tru wasn't that girl, however. She was glad Tru wasn't that girl. . .even if there was the slightest doubt roaming around in her head.

Snuggling down into the plush pillows on the large bed, Buffy tried to close her eyes and sleep. She did feel tired, but she couldn't relax. The pyjamas had been a mistake; she was hot and bothered and feeling the urge to strip down to her panties. It seemed that Tru couldn't relax either as she shuffled around on the couch.

Taking a peek in her direction – though she couldn't see much more than the back of the sofa - Buffy noticed that Tru's feet were hanging off the end. She didn't quite fit and was wriggling around to try to get comfortable. Buffy felt instantly bad, chewing on her bottom lip and wondering what she should do. She didn't want Tru being all uncomfortable while she was all snuggly.

"Tru?" Buffy called out, instantly wishing she hadn't.

Sleeping in the same bed was going to be. . .well, it certainly wasn't going to be the same as the few times she'd shared with Willow that's for sure. This was entirely different, and totally making Buffy's butterflies pinch at her insides.

Tru peeked over the top of the sofa, her dark hair looking a little tussled from where she'd been tossing and turning. It was cute, but also hot. It was distracting and Buffy had to remind herself to speak.

"Am I keeping you awake? I'm sorry," Tru said, pushing some hair from her face.

"No," Buffy said, getting all caught up in Tru's dark eyes. "Actually I mean yes, but not for the reason you probably. . .what I mean is. . ." Buffy took a deep breath, taking control of herself, "you should come to bed."

She pulled the covers back and smiled at Tru.

"Buffy, you don't have to. . .I'll be fine on. . .I just need to get. . ."

It seemed Buffy's stuttering was contagious, and she felt her heart warm towards Tru as she tried to explain that she was ok on the small sofa.

"Seriously, we can share the bed. We'll just. . .I dunno, keep still and not let our hands go under the sheets. And anyway, it's huge and I'm only small," Buffy said with a chuckle, feeling a little more at ease now she was being the one in control.

"Small and adorable," Tru said a little huskily, a hint of desire clinging to her words as she left the couch and made her way towards the bed.

Buffy could feel herself getting warmer as Tru approached. They'd be in bed together, and it wasn't just in a friendly way. It couldn't just be in a friendly way, as friends didn't usually make out and want in each other's pants – mostly. This was another step. This was getting closer; burning the edges of reality away as Buffy found herself immersed in something she'd ran from so many times with Faith.

"Are you sure?" Tru asked as she stopped by the side of the bed, a hand running through her hair – such a Faith-like gesture that made Buffy's stomach flip.

"I'm sure," she replied, a little shakily.

Tru slipped in beside Buffy and pulled the covers over herself, not laying too close, but close enough for Buffy to feel her heat and smell her scent as if it was being poured over her. Buffy filled her nostrils with Tru, devouring the scent of her skin and the subtleness of her perfume. She had sensitive senses, and though Riley's man-sweat had put her off sometimes, Tru's hot skin did nothing but arouse her. She smelled good enough to eat, and somewhere in the aroma was the slight but distinct scent of how turned on Tru had gotten when they were kissing. Buffy could smell Tru's arousal and it made her wet.

She tried to ignore it and flopped down onto the bed on her back after turning from Tru. It was going to be hard enough dealing with her raging hormones with Tru laying close to her, but now all she could think of was what Tru smelled like, and how she might taste.

Buffy had never really thought about things like that before. During her little fantasies about Faith - and now about Tru - she hadn't really gone into smells and tastes. Now it was all she could think. The idea of tasting Tru was a little weird – never having allowed herself to think too much about having sex with another girl – but it was also exciting, and way too hot to think about without driving herself crazy with lust. Sleep wasn't going to come easily if she couldn't get her mind out of the gutter.

"Is it hot or is it just me?" Buffy sighed, feeling her pyjamas clinging to her.

"It's hot," Tru replied, shuffling a bit beside Buffy.

Buffy glanced over at Tru, their eyes snagging and holding, the atmosphere becoming heavy with anticipation as Tru licked her lips all sexy and slow.

It didn't take long for Buffy to lose her grip and turn towards the girl beside her, moving closer before she could stop herself.

She paused just before kissing Tru, taking in more of her scent. "It's not just the air that's hot," Buffy said a little breathlessly, "you're hot. Totally hot."

Closing the gap between them, Buffy kissed Tru, holding herself above her just slightly as she gently held her face with the hand not resting on the mattress. She hadn't meant to do it, but her lips were drawn to Tru; her body seeking her out under the sheets.

Tru's hands made their way into Buffy's hair, holding her as they kissed again. It wasn't helping Buffy cool down and her pyjamas were clinging even more. She had to stop, or it would be too late to.

"Ok, that's way too addictive," Buffy said breathlessly as she pulled away just enough to look into Tru's eyes.

"There are worse addictions," Tru stated with a little grin.

It was a grin that reminded Buffy of Faith too much to ignore. She settled back down beside Tru, facing her still but knowing she had to cool down and get her mind in order.

"This is all so confusing for me," Buffy said quietly, her hand resting on Tru's hip as she found it hard not to want to explore with it.

Tru tucked Buffy's blonde hair behind her ear, her fingers lingering for a while before she placed her hand on Buffy's hip so they were mirroring each other, lying close but not too close.

"I'm sorry," Tru said, her brown eyes gently regarding Buffy.

"It's not your fault, I'm just. . .trying to let go but. . ."

"You don't have to explain," Tru pointed out.

Buffy smiled and shook her head. She felt so comfortable with Tru most of the time, even if it wasn't a situation she was used to. Even though she gave her head too much to deal with.

"I do," Buffy stated. "I want to be honest with you."

Buffy realized being completely honest would probably be a bad idea, but she wanted Tru to understand why she was reacting the way she was. She needed Tru to trust her, and to like her. She didn't want to push Tru away in any way. That would leave Buffy without either her or Faith, and she didn't want to think of that prospect right now.

"I've only ever like one other girl before, and I didn't even acknowledge that properly until. . .well, until I met you," Buffy said, her heart beating faster with the confession.

Tru smiled and began stroking her fingers softly over Buffy's hip, just enough to feel good and not distract Buffy too much.

"She didn't know, and our friendship was never easy," Buffy continued. "We hurt each other. We screwed it up but. . .I never really stopped thinking about her. I think I was kind of in love with her there for a while."

Buffy could feel a lump beginning to form in her throat. She hadn't really talked this way about Faith before, but something about Tru made her feel she could. She'd never said the 'in love' words out loud and now she had she knew it was the truth. She'd fallen for Faith. She'd been swept up by her and her attitude and sexy aura; unable to stop herself from reacting, from wanting. It wasn't easy accepting that, and it was harder saying it.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek before she knew she was crying.

"Hey, it's ok," Tru said, soothing Buffy and pulling her closer so she could hold her.

Buffy accepted the gesture and found herself being wrapped up in Tru's arms, her face snuggled in close to Tru's neck. A hand was slowly moving over Buffy's back; a caring touch that made her feel worse for still thinking about Faith.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. . ."

"It's ok, Buffy. I understand," Tru said, her voice low and gentle.

"I don't feel that way about her still," Buffy made clear, not wanting to worry Tru. "It's just hard talking about it. And I don't want you to think I don't want to be with you 'cause I do."

Buffy really didn't know how she felt about Faith now. There was still anger, and hurt – lots of hurt – but knowing there had been more and could have been more made her unsure about a lot of things. She didn't have a clue how she'd react or feel if she saw Faith again. She couldn't even imagine what it would be like now that she'd accepted how she'd felt.

Tru kissed Buffy's forehead softly, her lips only lingering for a short while but making their presence felt as Buffy relaxed into her arms. There were still a few tears squeezing their way out, but she felt safe with Tru – on many levels. It was like opening up to Faith in a way; getting the chance to be held by her, to be cared for by her. It wasn't Faith and never would be, but it was a good substitute. Maybe even better given the fact even trying to have a friendship with Faith had been impossible.

But then maybe friendship alone had been impossible because of everything else going on under the surface. Buffy didn't know, she just knew she had to get over it and move on. Being with Tru probably wasn't really moving on much at all, but she liked her. She truly liked her and was drawn to her in the same way – the same but only different.

"Go to sleep, Buffy," Tru whispered as Buffy felt herself doing just that. "And don't worry, it'll be ok."

It's all Buffy needed to hear. She felt some kind of peace. She felt at ease with Tru and how she was feeling. About how she'd felt about Faith, and what that meant with regards to the beautiful and sensitive girl now holding her.

They both fell asleep, snuggling close despite the heat. Buffy wanted to be held, and she was happy it was Tru. It felt good.

When she woke to the feel of the sun on her legs where she'd kicked off her pyjama bottoms in the night and shoved back the blanket, Buffy didn't feel as awkward as she was worrying she might, especially after confessing what she had and then crying. And it wasn't every night she snuggled up to another girl to sleep, but she felt happy, and more free in some ways.

Buffy realised Tru wasn't in bed with her, but she could hear her nearby clattering quietly in the kitchen area – the smell of coffee making Buffy open her eyes. She rubbed at her eyes, pushing stray blonde hair from her face as she tried to focus.

When the sleepy fog cleared, Buffy watched as Tru made her way around the kitchen making coffee. Her hair was tied up messily and she was still only in her shorts and tee shirt. Buffy suddenly felt very lucky to be right where she was. Tru was an extremely attractive girl, and even though she wasn't quite as sexy as Faith she was still hot, and she still had an effect on Buffy that just couldn't be ignored.

Stretching and rolling out of bed, Buffy left her pyjama bottoms on the floor and checked to make sure her top at least covered her ass. It did, so she confidently got up and made her way around the bed. She spotted some big fluffy slippers by the end of the bed and smiled before slipping her feet into them. They were cute, with floppy ears that stuck up and drooped down at the end. She could never envision Faith wearing such slippers, but the thought was kind of cute. She tried not to think about that as she made her way into the living area, leaving the bed sheets in a tangled mess behind her.

"Morning," Tru said cheerily as Buffy approached. "Coffee?"

Buffy nodded and took the offered cup.

They'd stayed wrapped around each other all night and Buffy had slept better than she had in a long time. She hadn't felt the need to go out and slay, feeling just fine where she was with Tru's soft body against her.

"Sleep well?" Tru asked as they both sat down on the sofa with mugs in hand.

"Very," Buffy replied brightly.

She couldn't stop smiling at Tru, feeling lighter and happier than usual – especially in the morning. She knew she could quickly get used to waking up with Tru, and knew it wouldn't be long before the night they shared was a little more eventful. She was less sure about being able to rid her mind of Faith so soon, but she was taking little steps.

"I had a really nice night, Tru," Buffy said, sipping at her coffee. "Thank you."

"I had a nice time too," Tru told her. "It'd be nice to. . .do it again sometime if you wanted."

Tru looked down into her coffee, her eyes shy, indicating that she probably wasn't certain that Buffy would say yes. Buffy couldn't blame her – she had spent some of last night crying on her over another girl after all.

"I definitely want to," Buffy clarified. "I'm over Faith. It's history."

She paused as she was about to take a drink, realizing she hadn't told Tru Faith's name until then. It probably didn't matter, as long as Tru never found out the real truth – that Faith was in fact her twin sister. That wouldn't be good. That would be so un-good Buffy didn't want to even think about it.

Tru nodded and placed her mug down as Buffy did the same. She turned towards Buffy, crossing her legs in front of her as she sat sideways on the sofa.

"So. . .we're dating then?" Tru asked, a sweet smile on her lips.

"Dating is good," Buffy replied with a matching smile.

"Wasn't sure how you'd feel about it," Tru continued. "I mean, I know this is new to you, but I could get used to you being around. I'd like to get used to you being around."

"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" Buffy asked, feeling bold as she looked up through her eyelashes at Tru.

It was weird saying it let alone wanting it, but she did want it. She wanted Tru as her girlfriend, not just as somebody she was dating now and then, or as nothing. She felt the need to grab onto her and not let her go; wanting to make sure she stayed with her, unlike Faith.

"Would you be?" Tru questioned, obviously not wanting to push Buffy.

Buffy didn't have to think about it. Thinking about it and panicking could be done later, so she replied, "Yes."

"That's good, 'cause I wouldn't let just anybody wear my bunny slippers," Tru remarked, grinning as she nodded towards Buffy's ever so comfy feet.

"Then I guess I'm safe," Buffy giggled, wiggling the bunny ears.

She felt her insides go a little mushy as Tru leaned forward and kissed her. They kissed slowly and softly, and for once Buffy didn't think about Faith.

She managed not to think too much about Faith for the rest of the day – only now and then slipping and finding herself comparing them both. It was hard not to wish it were Faith that she was now the girlfriend of, but she knew deep down that she could never have that with Faith. Faith just wasn't the relationship type, and they didn't get along enough to even attempt it. No, there was no point in thinking about Faith that way. She had Tru, and that was enough, though worrying about what she was going to tell her friends and family made it bitter-sweet.

After spending some time together at a lovely park, relaxing in the sun, and then having lunch, Buffy made her way home on the bus. She was sad to go – back to reality and away from Tru's lips – but she had to be back to patrol and get ready for the next day's classes. Tru had offered to drive her, but she wasn't ready to bring Tru to Sunnydale just yet.

They said goodbye at the bus station, but Buffy shied away from kissing Tru. She wanted to, but there were too many people around and she didn't feel comfortable with such a public display. Tru didn't seem overly upset, but Buffy could tell she would have liked just a little goodbye smooch.

When she arrived home, Buffy checked her phone for messages, finding two from Willow and one from Dawn. Willow was eager to know how things went, and Dawn sang a rude limerick and then apologised for ruining one of Buffy's shirts by spilling ketchup all down the front.

"Ugh, she's so paying for that," Buffy muttered before dialling Willow's number and arranging to meet her.

It wasn't too late yet and she was hungry so she agreed to meet Willow for something to eat before she went on patrol for the night. She was antsy and needed to slay – her hormones all in a flutter over Tru and making her feel particularly charged and ready for some action.

She hastily showered and changed and made her way into town with Willow.

After getting over the formalities of "hello" and "how are you?" with her, they sat down to make short work of some greasy burgers and fries. Buffy felt famished and wondered if the raging hormone thing was why Faith had always been able to eat twice her bodyweight in food in one sitting. She didn't dwell on it, doing her best not to recall how cute Faith could be when she ate after slaying – getting crumbs and ketchup all over herself and laughing it off if Buffy pointed it out or called her gross.

"So there was no. . .yunno?" Willow asked, wiggling her eyebrows comically. "I mean, after all the making out and the sharing the bed thing."

Buffy had told Willow about the date and about how swept up by Tru she felt. She'd blushed when explaining how she'd bolted for the bathroom when things had gotten a bit heavy during their make-out session.

"No, there was no. . .sex," Buffy said, whispering at the end so nobody around them would hear.

"Wow," Willow exclaimed, her eyes a little wide. "You didn't do the deed even though she's all hot and sexy, and all kindsa sweet and exactly what you want right now? You need a medal. A shiny one with a star on it."

Buffy ran her finger around the rim of her coffee mug, wondering how she'd restrained herself when Willow was right – Tru was hot and sexy and totally sweet. But it hadn't felt right to just jump in like that. She needed time. Time for what exactly she wasn't sure, but some of it revolved around not knowing what the hell to do with another woman in bed. It wasn't like she had any kind of experience with that and she didn't want to make a fool of herself or have Tru think she was really bad at it.

"I guess. . .I want to be ready," Buffy said, trying to explain herself. "I don't want to think about Faith, and I don't want to be all fumbly and not good."

She fought back the urge to blush, feeling a little uncomfortable talking about sex with Willow even though she was her best friend. It just wasn't something they normally spoke about. Their conversations usually involved monsters and vampires, and witchery. . .not the finer details of getting wriggly with a girl. If Buffy wanted to feel comfortable with Tru though, she knew she had to ask Willow's advice on a few things.

"I'm sure you'd be fine, Buffy," Willow said, absently stirring her mocha with a spoon.

"How do you know? I could be terrible and she might think I'm really lame," Buffy mumbled.

"Well, it's not like you've never done it before, it's just. . .different, but not so different you'll be totally lost."

"It feels like I'll be totally lost," Buffy sighed as she thought about it. "She's so gorgeous and just kissing her gets me all worked up, so I'm bound to make a fool of myself. It's just something I do."

"And she'll think you're adorable for it," Willow pointed out. "They always do."

"They? Who's they?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

"Everybody that ever liked you like that," Willow replied with a chuckle.

Buffy furrowed her brow, unsure whether Willow was being kind or sarcastic. She had no reason to doubt Willow's loyalty and kindness however, so she let it go.

"I just want to be good for her," Buffy continued. "Is there anything I should yunno. . .know or do?"

She spoke quietly, trying not to look in Willow's eyes so she could get the words out.

"You're asking my advice about sex?" Willow asked, sounding a little shocked.

"I guess," Buffy responded. "Yes."

Willow glanced around the tables close to them, fidgeting in her seat as Buffy waited.

"Here?" Willow asked, sounding on the verge of panicking.

"Sure," Buffy replied. "I mean, you don't have to go into detail, just give me some pointers. Like, what's normal?"

"Normal?" Willow repeated, her eyebrows disappearing into her hair. "I don't know if I could define normal. What's normal for me might not be normal for you. It's not like I even know what's normal myself – I've only ever been with one girl."

"Ok, calm down, Will," Buffy said, chuckling as Willow pulled a face that clearly conveyed her discomfort. "There must be something you could tell me at least."

She really hoped Willow could help as she felt totally out of her depth with Tru, and she was a proud kind of girl that liked to please.

"Ok, well. . ." Willow took a steadying breath and looked down to Buffy's hands. "You should make sure you cut your nails a little. They're a little on the long side and if you're gonna. . ." She coughed, covering her mouth slightly with her hand to muffle the words in case anybody was listening. "Well, if you're gonna touch her in intimate places you don't want to be all stabby with your nails."

Buffy looked at her fingernails and nodded slowly. They were a little on the long side, but not overly so. Still, she guessed Willow was right as she could see how getting intimate with another girl with long nails could be a little worrying. She'd noticed that Tru's nails were short and neat but hadn't thought about how it could equate to sex.

"So I'll cut my nails. Anything else?" Buffy pressed.

"I guess, well. . .if you plan to. . .there's definitely. . ." Willow's face turned red and her gaze dropped to the table as she stuttered.

"Tell me," Buffy said, really needing to know what was so important that it had made her friend go as red as her hair.

Leaning forwards towards Buffy and whispering as she glanced around, Willow continued. "If you're planning to let her. . ." Willow blushed even more before stumbling the rest of her sentence out, "go down on you, then it's nice to be kinda neat and tidy in that general area."

Willow sat back upright and fidgeted with a spoon as Buffy's mouth fell open.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" Buffy asked, stuck between wanting to giggle like a little girl and feeling kind of turned on about the thought of Tru doing that to her.

"Well, you did ask," Willow stated firmly, her brow furrowed resolutely.

"Yes I did and. . .thank you," Buffy said, swallowing past the embarrassment. "I'm always neat and tidy down there so I think I'll pass that test," she added.

There were a few moments of awkward silence before either girl spoke again. Buffy knew they'd get over it, but talking about sex was new territory for them.

"So," Buffy began after glancing at her nails one last time, "anything else?"

Willow cleared her throat and fiddled with her hands before shrugging. "Can't think of anything. Or at least. . .not anything I'm willing to talk about in the middle of a diner, or under any circumstances that don't involve large amounts of alcohol."

As Willow didn't actually drink alcohol on any grand scale Buffy knew she'd pushed her far enough. It was time to let the subject drop.

They chatted for a little while longer and Buffy found herself talking animatedly about Tru on several occasions, earning her a grin from her friend. She couldn't help it if she was already becoming somewhat smitten, there just seemed to be no stopping it.

After they talked about getting together with Tara and Xander for a night at the Bronze sometime during the week, Buffy finally made her way out into the night to find and fight some vampires. The streets of Sunnydale became a little emptier as she walked towards the nearest cemetery. Most residents didn't needlessly stay out late unless they were going to the movies or going dancing – they knew that bad things happened if you found yourself alone in the dark.

Buffy loved the dark – the night in all its ominous glory. It was her time to prowl, and prowl she did as she stalked through one of Sunnydale's large graveyards, her ears searching keenly for noises, and eyes looking sharply around.

At least, normally she was keen and sharp, but tonight she was lost in her thoughts; ambling along the path and hoping she didn't have to get dirty during a fight because she needed to do her laundry and only had one pair of clean pants left to wear. She didn't notice the two demons scurrying up behind her until one of them was charging at her full throttle.

"Oh crap," she mumbled as she spun around to find a very large, very ugly blue demon headed directly for her.

He tackled her and sent her flying to the ground with a hard thud. She hit the back of her head on the concrete of the path and instantly knew there was going to be blood, and lots of it.

"Well that's just. . ." Buffy winced as the second demon landed on top of her and they both began jumping on various bits of her anatomy, "great."

Using all her strength, Buffy managed to hurl one of the demons off her so she could roll away, but the other slightly smaller demon had other ideas. He grunted in some kind of monster-like language and grabbed Buffy's shoulders, pinning her to the floor. She squirmed and wriggled, and the demon laughed - globs of oozing saliva dripping from some rather nasty looking fangs.

"Ew, do not bite me with those," Buffy grunted as she pushed upwards and finally freed herself. "You seriously need a Tic Tac or something."

She got to her feet a little wobbly, her head spinning from the blow it had taken. The demons grunted between themselves and one of them gestured wildly as Buffy tried to look convincingly tough with her fighting stance. They seemed spooked, and Buffy watched as they ran off into the night, leaving her baffled and feeling a little faint.

Taking a few steps, she realized the knock to her head had been pretty bad, even for a slayer. She hadn't been on her game, her mind on everything but slaying. She hadn't been able to roll into the fall and prevent her head from making contact with the floor, and she was about to pay for it. Hitting the ground with a resigned plop, Buffy felt the world spinning and growing dark. She knew she shouldn't be laying on the ground in the middle of a cemetery, but there was no getting away from the fact she was about to black out.

Not knowing how long it had been, or how safe she was, or if she was in any shape to move or stand, Buffy eventually came round. A wave of nausea hit her from the pounding in her head and she forced open her eyes.

"Don't try to move," somebody said above her. "I've got ya."

Buffy tried to focus; tried to filter out the pain and the disorientation in order to asses the situation, but it wasn't coming easy. She wasn't alone, she could tell that much.

"You got a nasty hit to the head. Gotta get you some place safe."

Forcing the world to become a clearer place as she strained to see who was talking to her and touching her softly - in order to lift her she supposed – Buffy did her best to listen and understand what was happening.

"Tru?" she asked as the voice finally became clear to her and the face above her came into focus. "What are you. . ?"

"No talking, you're hurt."

Buffy reached out, touching long locks of brown hair as she was lifted. She found herself being cradled gently and carried to the street just outside the cemetery gates. Her mind was still hazy and dazed as she wrapped her arms around Tru's neck. But what was Tru doing there? She didn't care and couldn't find her voice to ask right now; allowing herself to be taken to safety.

"I'm glad you're here, Tru," Buffy mumbled, sounding drunk and confused. "I was missing you already."

She buried her face into Tru's neck, breathing her in as they left the cemetery behind. She smelled good – better than good – and Buffy couldn't help but kiss the soft skin of Tru's throat, even in her woozy state.

"Careful, B. Don't wanna drop you on your ass and break that too."

Buffy closed her eyes, immersing herself in the scent of the girl whose arms she was in as she sought the less painful option of being passed out. She didn't quite understand why Tru was suddenly calling her B, but it didn't matter – it just felt good to be close to her again. It felt comforting, and she drifted into darkness with the overwhelming sensation that everything would be fine now that Tru was there. She felt it buzzing through her body and smiled against the hot skin she was nuzzling at as everything faded once again to black.

She'd be safe in her arms.

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Feeling like somebody had used her head for baseball practice, Buffy tentatively opened her eyes. She was lying on something soft with what seemed to be cushions propping her up just a little, so her head wasn't resting too heavily on anything. As her surroundings came into focus, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was in Giles' apartment, on his sofa. It took a minute for her to figure out how she got there, but she had a faint memory of being carried. Carried by Tru of all people.

Lifting her hand slowly to feel at the back of her head, Buffy had a hard time working out what was going on. Tru didn't know Giles and certainly didn't know where his apartment was. She winced as she felt the bump and dried blood in her hair at the back of her head and felt a little queasy. Buffy hated being knocked out, it was almost as un-fun as a bad hangover.

She tried to lift her head a little way to see where Giles and Tru were, but moving didn't seem to be a good option as her head pounded in protest.

"Tru?" she called out, the sound of her own voice vibrating through her skull and making everything that much worse.

"See, she's calling me Tru again," a voice said, filtering towards Buffy from behind her. It sounded like Tru, only different.

"I see," Giles said softly as it appeared they were moving over to the couch and closer to Buffy. "The blow to her head must have been very hard."

"Hard enough to think I'm someone else? It's not like I'm Joe Nobody."

"It is worrying, but we'll see how she is now that she's coming round again," Giles mumbled.

Buffy furrowed her brow, feeling agitated that they were talking about her, and agitated that Tru was talking to Giles as if she knew him. And why did she say Buffy thought she was somebody else? Her head was hurting more, and her questions soon became academic as Giles came into view, followed quite clearly by Faith and not Tru - all the black clothing and heavy eyeliner gave her away easily. Buffy felt suddenly panicky, her mouth drying up and heart starting to thud much too loudly in her chest.

"Faith!" Buffy exclaimed through gritted teeth, her mind racing at a hundred miles an hour and making her dizzy again.

"Ah, well, it seems there's no lasting damage," Giles said unnecessarily cheerily given the circumstances.

"What the hell's going on?" Buffy asked, forcing herself to sit up a little way as her eyes stayed firmly fixed on Faith.

"No need to get irritable, Buffy," Giles assured as he gingerly perched on the table next to the couch. "Faith found you unconscious and brought you here to me. We were worried we'd have to take you to the hospital. How are you feeling?"

He looked at Buffy with concern and she felt suddenly silly for feeling all panicky. Nobody else was panicking.

"I'm. . .what's she doing here?" Buffy asked, interrupting herself.

"Well, for one thing she was rescuing you from whatever God awful fate that could have befallen you while lying unconscious in a graveyard," Giles pointed out a little tersely.

Buffy had the good grace to blush just a bit. If it hadn't been for Faith anything could have happened to her, and it had been her own stupid fault for being caught by surprise in the first place.

Faith sat down heavily on a chair near the couch and held her jaw firm, her eyes drifting from Buffy to Giles and making Buffy feel uncomfortable. She wasn't ready to be face to face with Faith again. Things were too. . .weird. Too different. And she couldn't believe she'd mistaken Faith for Tru. How was she going to explain that? She didn't know, and thinking too much about it was beginning to give her a peculiar sensation in her stomach.

"Ok, so she helped me get here," Buffy conceded. "But what's she doing in Sunnydale?"

She knew she could have asked Faith that question instead of firing her questions at Giles, but actually talking to Faith was a little daunting now she was armed with all the knowledge of how she'd always felt about her. The last time she'd laid eyes on Faith was in her dream, and the memory of that was causing her heart to skip around and her hands to verge on trembling. This was too soon. She wasn't ready to deal with Faith in the actual flesh.

"Released," Faith muttered. "Good behaviour and overcrowding or some shit."

She looked into Buffy's eyes as she spoke, and Buffy felt the need to look away. She'd grown used to Tru's eyes – so like Faith's, yet so much more open and warm. Seeing the real-deal was unnerving and reminded her why she'd never been able to get to grips with the way Faith had always made her feel. Faith wasn't open like Tru, she was a mountain of walls to climb.

"They've released her a little earlier," Giles clarified. "She's done very well in prison and I put myself forward as a contact for when she came out. It also seems that the Mayor left Faith some property in his will so Sunnydale is in fact her home. Now, can I examine your head or shall we continue this line of questioning until you're fully satisfied that you've made Faith feel as unwelcome as possible?"

He looked sternly at Buffy – every bit the father figure. Buffy nodded and allowed him to reach around to check the bump on her head. She had a thousand more questions, but it was obvious that Giles was batting for team Faith right now so she kept quiet.

"The bleeding has stopped but you're probably concussed, which is no doubt why you kept getting Faith confused with somebody else," Giles said, handing Buffy a drink and some painkillers.

"It was. . .I thought. . ." Buffy stuttered, unable to explain herself - feeling rather embarrassed and silly for mixing them up.

"Take those and rest a little while longer," Giles instructed.

He got up from his perch on the table and made his way into the kitchen, out of sight, leaving Buffy alone with Faith.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, or anybody," Faith mumbled after a moment of awkward silence.

Buffy swallowed her painkillers uneasily and regarded Faith, looking at her clothes, her hair, her posture as she sat fiddling with her lighter nervously. She never equated Faith with nerves, but she was clearly nervous now. She was also just as stunning, just as beautiful as ever – if not more. Buffy tried not to notice, but it was hard not to. It always had been hard.

"So you're. . .magically reformed?" Buffy asked, trying to keep the scorn from her voice – not wanting to fall back on old habits so quickly. Not after the regret she felt after their last meeting.

"Nah, took a lot of work. No magic involved," Faith answered, flicking her lighter on and off.

"And you've reformed into an arsonist?" Buffy questioned with a raised eyebrow as she watched the flame from Faith's lighter dance and burn.

Faith chuckled and shook her head, leaning forward to place the lighter on the coffee table between them both.

"Officially, I was only in for assault so arson wouldn't be one of those things they let you out on good behaviour for I'm guessing," Faith said with a slight grin. "Took some classes to control my anger and. . .I'm getting that you don't want me here, B. Not gonna hope for anything more, but I'm not about to fuck with you again."

Buffy glanced away, trying to deal with all the conflicting emotions and feelings that were raging around inside her. She was clearly giving off the vibe that she didn't want Faith around, and she honestly felt that to some extent, but she also felt a whole load of other things that she hadn't wanted to deal with so unexpectedly.

"It's not. . .that. I'm just. . ." Buffy tried to get her mind to work, and her mouth. "Last time we saw each other I knew you'd already hurt me all you could, so I'm not automatically thinking you're here to do anything. . .bad. But I don't get why you'd come here at all. I mean, why here, Faith?"

She wanted to add "why now?" but didn't. She could do without Faith strolling back into her life just when she was attempting to do everything she could to not think of her. It was a complication she didn't want, no matter how much just looking at Faith - just sitting close to her – was making her insides squirm in ways she'd always been able to ignore before. There was no ignoring it now, even if the overwhelming feeling was still of mistrust and anger.

"Nowhere else to go," Faith said quietly, looking down at her hands as she now sat perched on the edge of her seat, elbows resting on her knees. "Besides, still got my place here, and some stuff. And I've got a lot of things to make up for."

Buffy nodded slowly, trying to understand. She couldn't quite believe Faith was there; right there in front of her – her long dark hair all wavy and perfect, body all toned and wrapped in leather and denim. She felt like crying, like screaming, like running away and leaving behind what she felt.

It was only a short time ago that she'd admitted to once actually being in love with Faith, and she could feel the burn of it in her chest; the remains of it scorching her and making her confused and achey. She didn't want that feeling. She'd moved on from it and didn't want to revisit the past – of hurt and pain, of fighting and betrayal.

"You shouldn't have come back," Buffy said, feeling the tears falling from her eyes before she could stop them.

"I know," Faith responded softly, looking up at Buffy.

Buffy could see tears wanting to fall from Faith's eyes but they didn't drop. Faith didn't allow them to drop. She looked down again and Buffy felt her heart squeeze and her head pound. It was all too much. Seeing Faith so soon after realising what she'd felt, after meeting Tru and hoping to start something good – something safe – with her, after knowing that everything could have been so different. . .was a whole load of trouble she didn't want to get involved with. Things could only turn out bad; they always had.

"I guess I should tell you I'll leave," Faith finally continued, looking once again at Buffy; her dark eyes pulling Buffy deep into them. "But I can't. It's bigger than you and me, B. I gotta make things right, and I can't do that anywhere else but here. I'm sorry."

Her voice was so soft, her usual cockiness giving way to something gentler as she apologised.

Buffy felt more tears fall, remembering what she'd said about Faith apologising and feeling the regret of it pinching at her. She could hear how sorry Faith was, and it stung, it marked her. She couldn't ignore how truthful she sounded. It didn't change the basic fact that Buffy didn't think they could ever really be anything but enemies, however.

"I can't trust you, Faith," Buffy said, wiping at her nose.

She felt like a lover that had been cheated on or hurt by her partner. She felt like Faith had always been more to her, and that's why it was so difficult. That's why it burned inside her heart – a heart that obviously still remembered how it felt to be in love with Faith. It's why she couldn't make sense of what she was feeling and how she should be reacting. And somehow, she sensed that Faith knew it. Looking into Faith's eyes she saw that hint of recognition that she'd always turned away from in the past. Buffy doubted Faith knew exactly how much she had once felt for her, but she could tell Faith knew some of it. It had to be fairly obvious and that made Buffy feel even more uncomfortable and unsure. She felt exposed.

"I don't expect you to trust me, B," Faith said. "But that's not gonna make me turn and run. I'm here for the long haul."

She sounded firmer now, intent on doing what she knew she needed to, despite what Buffy thought. It was kind of noble, though Buffy didn't want to admit that.

Before either of them could say any more, Giles re-entered the room.

"When you're feeling ready I'll take you home, Buffy," he told her. "Unless you're still feeling dizzy, in which case it's probably better you stay here. Faith's apartment isn't ready quite yet so she's also staying here tonight, but I'm sure we could squeeze you in."

Buffy felt the panic begin to rise within herself again. She didn't want to stay that close to Faith. Not now. It would be far too hard to do, for many different reasons.

"No, I'll go," Buffy said quickly.

"Right then, I'll just. . ." Giles looked down at his robe and slippers, "get changed and be right with you."

"Don't sweat it, G," Faith said, standing up from her seat. "I can take her."

Buffy's eyes went a little wide. She wasn't sure being stuck with Faith in a confined space was any kind of a good idea.

Giles looked towards Buffy and she could tell that he expected her to agree. That he expected her to do the right thing and give Faith the chance he so obviously already had. She didn't know why he was so trusting of her, but she knew he wasn't stupid. Giles was a very astute man, and she trusted him. . .so she had no choice but to nod her head and accept that maybe he knew more about Faith than she did right now.

Buffy moved from the couch, trying to keep her head as still as possible so it wouldn't hurt quite so much. Faith lingered nearby, momentarily looking like she was going to offer Buffy a hand before changing her mind and backing off. Buffy was glad; physical contact with Faith wasn't what she needed right now. It would only serve to make her head spin and it was spinning quite enough already.

She thanked Giles and then followed as Faith lead her to Giles' car. Her gaze instinctively wandered to Faith's backside and she rolled her eyes - she was so predictable.

"Do you even have a licence?" Buffy asked as she climbed into the passenger side, pushing off a map and an old Starbucks paper cup from the seat.

"What do ya take me for? A criminal?" Faith replied with a smirk. "I got it in jail, amongst other stuff."

Buffy nodded and pushed her seatbelt into the slot just as Faith did the same. In the cramped confines of the small car it meant the backs of their hands brushed against each other, and Buffy didn't know who jumped more, her or Faith.

"Sorry," Faith mumbled, but she didn't move her hand and neither did Buffy.

The quiet was almost unbearable, as was the warm feel of skin on skin, of memories passing between them and tingles that didn't really have anything to do with their slayer connection. Buffy eventually slowly moved her hand away, feeling the heat of Faith's skin burning her, mocking her, daring her to enjoy it.

She licked her lips and fought back the flood of memories that rushed through her just from the slight contact. It had been so long since they'd last touched. Most of their touches had been sparring or fighting. . .but one of their last had been when Buffy had taken Faith's hand in her own in order to run from the council henchmen. It'd been instinct, and she'd tried to forget about it but that simple touch had haunted her ever since.

"You still live at the college dorms right?" Faith asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had started to hang around them.

"Yeah," Buffy replied, trying to stop her inner-panic from possessing her again.

Faith started the car and they were quickly on their way. Buffy tried not to look in Faith's direction, but kept glancing over at her, just at the same times that Faith glanced back.

"This is awkward huh?" Faith asked, a slight smile on her lips.

"Totally," Buffy responded.

Silence fell around them once more as Faith drove them to Buffy's dorm building. There was so much Buffy wanted to say and ask - so much she was feeling - but she kept it all in. It was bubbling inside her, churning in her stomach and making her mind a black pit of turmoil as she looked into it and saw nothing but fear and regret.

"So, who's the Tru chick you kept calling me?" Faith asked unexpectedly after a few minutes. "You seem close to her. . .yunno, given what you were sayin' to me and stuff."

Buffy's eyes went wide. She had a faint recollection of calling Faith Tru when she'd found her in the cemetery, but the rest of it was a blur.

"What was I saying?" Buffy asked, hoping it was nothing bad, but knowing it probably was.

"Well, after you got done kissing my neck and trying to grope me you kept telling me – or Tru I guess - that you really wanted her," Faith explained with a mischievous grin.

Buffy's mouth fell open a little way and she blinked, trying to remember anything that had happened. All she really remembered was the feeling of being safe in Faith's arms – a strange enough occurrence in itself.

"I so didn't say that, or try to. . .touch you," Buffy protested, feeling her cheeks getting hot.

"Whatever you say, Twinkie, but I know what I felt," Faith assured with a wink.

It felt strangely like when they'd first met; the subtle flirting and Faith being all pushy and cocky. But so much had happened in between and Buffy wasn't sure any of it felt right.

"Maybe it was you feeling me up with me being all unconscious. I mean, you've been incarcerated all this time so you're probably all hornier than normal," Buffy insisted, looking smug.

Faith laughed – a hearty, full on laugh that caught Buffy by surprise.

"Shit, Buffy. . .you're fuckin' funny," Faith blurted, banging her hand on the steering wheel.

"What's so funny?" Buffy asked, feeling herself beginning to chuckle too as she tried to hide her smile.

"You think I'm gonna wait to get out of a jail full of chicks. . .to be able to feel one up?"

Buffy felt suitably embarrassed as she realised her mistake. Then she wondered if Faith had been with any girls in jail. It was a no-brainer really – Faith liked sex, so there was no doubt she would have taken advantage of her good looks in jail to get what she needed. It made Buffy feel somewhat jealous, though she knew that was crazy.

"Ok, point taken," Buffy muttered as Faith finally stopped laughing.

"Seriously though, you were gettin' a little full on over this Tru girl. She a friend of yours or more?" Faith asked, a hint of something in her tone that Buffy couldn't quite place.

She had an idea that maybe Faith herself was jealous, but she couldn't be sure. She was almost certain now that Faith had liked her that way before, but she didn't know how deep it ran, or if she still felt that way. Buffy certainly wasn't about to ask.

"Tru's. . .my. . ." Buffy couldn't get the words out and she looked away from Faith.

It wasn't as if she didn't want to just come out and say she now had a girlfriend to Faith – to gauge her reaction as much as anything – but there was something stopping her. The fact it felt completely strange being sat with her in a car, not fighting but talking, gave Buffy cause to pause. She couldn't put her finger on how she felt – a mix of relief, anxiety, apprehension and the desire to let the past go, all rolled around inside her as she felt Faith's unique energy pulling at her once again. It wasn't easy trying to figure out how she should be acting with Faith considering how they'd left things.

"She's your girlfriend?" Faith asked, an air of amusement and a little shock to her question.

She grinned over at Buffy, her eyebrows all expressive and lively.

Buffy didn't answer. She didn't know quite how to.

"Wow," Faith said, shaking her head. "All kindsa changes been going on around here huh."

Fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat, Buffy tried to think of a way to deny Faith was right, or to make it sound less shocking at least, but she couldn't think of anything to say. She kept quiet, hoping they'd arrive at her dorm very soon so she could get away. So she could think.

"Giles told me about the new vamp you got helpin' out," Faith continued when it was obvious Buffy wasn't going to talk. "And about Will and her chick – though I kinda saw that coming. He left out the part where you started muff divin' too though."

Buffy furrowed her brow and looked towards Faith as they pulled up outside her building.

"We don't have a 'new' vamp helping out, it's Spike and he's far from actually helpful. And I haven't started. . .diving anything," Buffy stated, fighting down the urge to blush profusely.

"Not got that far yet?" Faith asked with a lascivious grin.

"No, we only just started dating," Buffy confessed, shocked at herself for saying it so easily.

There was a moment's silence and Buffy realised she should be leaving the car, but she wasn't moving.

Looking directly at Buffy – as Buffy did the same back, unable to pull away – Faith grinned even wider, her dimples all on show and her eyes sparkling with mischief. Buffy was momentarily captivated, her lungs fighting not to give her away as she tried to breathe without gulping down air.

"She's gotta look a helluva lot like me if you can get us mixed up so easy, so now I'm back in town. . .if you're lookin' for somebody to practice on, give me a call," Faith said in a husky and flirty tone.

She winked, and Buffy momentarily forgot how to breathe altogether. She wanted to be outraged, but she wasn't. Still, Faith didn't need to know that.

"You wish," Buffy responded, not quite so firmly as she'd liked.

Faith looked down, a flash of something passing her eyes that Buffy had to be quick to see. Disappointment. Buffy remembered that same look many times from Faith when she'd flirted with Buffy or made the subtlest of passes in the past. Buffy hadn't seen it back then for what it really was, but now she knew. And she knew how ignoring it had made Faith feel.

"I'm happy with what I have, Faith," Buffy told her, trying to convince herself of the same.

"Right," Faith responded, turning back to the steering wheel and grasping it with both hands. "I'd be too hot for you to handle anyway, Princess."

She sounded cocky and sure, but there was something underneath that. Buffy didn't call her on it and tried not to imagine what it meant. She couldn't think of Faith that way. . .especially now that she was back.

"I've gotta go," Buffy said, ignoring Faith's comment.

She pulled free from the seatbelt and opened the car door, turning back and giving Faith a stern look.

"Just 'cause you've done your time, and now you're back and Giles is your best friend, it doesn't make everything ok," Buffy made clear. "We're not ok."

Faith didn't look into Buffy's eyes for long before nodding and starting the engine again.

"The things I did," Faith began quietly, "I'll never be able to fix, but all I'm asking is that you let me at least try to put some stuff right. Especially the shit I did to you."

Buffy sighed, unsure about how Faith could do that, and if she even wanted her to.

"I don't know how you can, Faith," she told her honestly, looking up and catching Faith's gaze. "But I won't get in your way if you don't get in mine."

She needed Faith to know that forgiveness wasn't going to be easy, mainly because she didn't know if she could ever really give it. She knew now why it had all hurt so much, but that only made it sting more. It didn't make Buffy instantly believe they could suddenly figure it all out and find a way to deal with the past, and find a way to deal with each other. She couldn't be with Faith; not in the way she'd always really wanted, and the way Faith had probably always hoped for. She couldn't lie to her and give her false hope. As much as she wanted it to be easy, it wasn't going to be. Especially not now she had Tru in her life.

"Just one more thing," Buffy said, realising that Faith would have the ability to really screw with her life again now she knew about Tru. "Nobody but Will and Dawn know about Tru, so. . .if you really want to show me you've changed you'll keep it to yourself. In fact, just forget about it altogether."

She tried to sound a little threatening and hoped it got the message across. Not only did she not want Faith outing her to anybody, she also didn't want Faith asking too many questions and finding out who Tru really was.

Faith raised an eyebrow but nodded anyway and Buffy stepped from the car and closed the door, walking towards her dorm as Faith eventually pulled away. She stopped before the rumble of the car's engine was out of hearing range, turning and watching as it rounded the corner out of view.

"Why did you have to come back now?" she asked to the air.

No matter how hard it was going to be to forgive her – or even convince herself it was the right thing to do – she was still very attracted to Faith, and completely drawn to her. Just sitting next to her had Buffy tingling, remembering, needing. She couldn't ignore it now.

As she entered her room and threw down her keys, Buffy heard her answering machine beep. She rubbed at her brow and pressed play. It was Tru. . .sounding all happy and cheery – asking Buffy if she'd gotten home safely, telling her how much she'd enjoyed their time together, and how much she was looking forward to seeing her again.

It made Buffy sit down heavily on her bed, her body feeling weighted down as she fully understood what Faith's arrival had done. She was back to square one, and finding it hard not to think about Faith instead of Tru. It wasn't fair on Tru. It wasn't fair at all but Buffy wasn't about to give up so easily. And it wasn't as if Faith would be flinging herself at her, despite her little offer in the car – she knew that was just bravado. Just Faith being Faith. For all Buffy knew she'd totally moved on and didn't want her any more. . .though Buffy had to concede that Faith's eyes gave her away every time she looked at her.

The want was still there. They both still wanted.

But now Buffy had Tru so she had to convince herself that staying away from Faith was the best thing she could do. She didn't know how possible that would be now Faith was back in Sunnydale, but she was about to find out.

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine 

"Well, that was awkward," Willow said as she walked with Buffy to a quieter, more private area of Giles' magic shop.

Buffy nodded, moving behind the far end of the counter with Willow, her eyes still fixed to the table across the room. . .and its occupants.

"Do you think she meant it all?" Buffy asked, forcing herself to turn away from Faith, and rest against the counter behind her.

"She sounded sorry. . .for everything," Willow replied.

"Do you forgive her?" Buffy questioned, hoping her friend could ease her mind about Faith and make her realise that maybe she did deserve this chance.

"I think in time, if she stays true to her word. If she shows that she's really changed," Willow answered. "Maybe it's too much to ask, but I think we should help her this time instead of push her out. Tara made me realise a few things about Faith, and I'm as much to blame for her going off the deep end as the rest of us. None of us were really there for her."

Buffy was a little shocked by Willow's speech. She didn't know Willow felt so strongly about it. They both recently agreed that Faith wasn't evil, but she hadn't expected Willow to feel quite how she now obviously did about her. She wondered if maybe she should talk to Tara herself, and hear what she had to say. Buffy didn't want to be left with bitterness if it was possible to move on from that.

They'd all been called to the Magic Box by Giles that morning – he'd asked them to come with open minds, and ready to hear Faith apologise. Buffy could only imagine what had gone through Xander's mind knowing she was back, but when they'd arrived he wasn't as cagey as she had expected him to be. He wasn't full of hugs for Faith, but he seemed calm. . .almost uninterested.

After settling into their seats, Giles had asked for them to just listen, and then Faith apologised to each of them. She promised not to screw up again, and to truly pay for what she'd done. Buffy had heard the emotion in Faith's voice - feeling a lump in her own throat as she'd laid herself open for attack. But nobody attacked. There were a few questions, but mostly the room stayed quiet, the atmosphere thick with regret and unmistakable remorse. The weight of Faith's crimes seemed to lay heavily on them all, and Buffy didn't like that feeling. She didn't want to feel her own responsibility tugging at her.

"She's going to live with what she did for the rest of her life," Willow continued. "And even if she can't put any of it right, at least she wants to try."

Buffy found herself nodding again, wishing she could see things as clearly. Her judgement - her thoughts - were clouded by everything else she'd ever felt for Faith.

"How do you think Xander feels?" Buffy asked, planning to talk to him about it later, but wanting to test the water.

Nobody knew Xander as well as Willow.

"He's a good guy," Willow said. "She hurt him, but he's strong – in a lot of ways. I think he'll try to give her another chance."

It sounded plausible, but Buffy couldn't be so sure.

"Do you think you could ever forgive her?" Willow asked as Buffy looked down at the old wooden floor.

Buffy wasn't certain of the answer to that either. She felt like she wanted to, but there was much more at stake, much more involved.

"I don't even know where to start," Buffy admitted. "I don't even know why it all happened. How she got so. . ."

"Lost?" Willow finished for her.

Sighing, Buffy glanced over at Faith as she sat by Giles, going over some paperwork – terms of her release, and something else to do with the Mayor. Xander and Tara were talking amongst themselves, looking more at ease than she thought they probably should. For all they knew, Faith could be tricking them all. Her apologies could all be lies. Buffy just didn't know for sure. She didn't want to think Faith was here for another round, however. She wanted to believe that Giles knew better, and that Faith had changed.

"Yunno, Tara said some things before we got here that kinda made me think," Willow said, interrupting Buffy's thoughts. "She told me how difficult it is being around us at first. She felt like an outsider for the longest time, and we did that to Faith too. As much as you tried to include her, we were like this impenetrable group of people she couldn't feel part of. For somebody like Faith – with her history - it wasn't easy to deal with."

"That doesn't explain or excuse the fact she killed people. She switched sides," Buffy pointed out, holding onto her safety net – keeping herself from thinking anything was salvageable with Faith.

Willow turned and rested against the counter with Buffy, speaking low. "She made a mistake. It was an accident either of you could have made. . .but she didn't know how to deal with it and nobody really got it. The rest was her being desperate for acceptance from somebody – the Mayor. We didn't give her it but he did. He needed her and she wanted to be needed."

Buffy furrowed her brow and wondered how Willow had worked it all out so simply. She understood Willow's words. She could see how they could be true. . .but it still didn't sit easy with her.

"You make it sound so simple," Buffy said quietly.

"It's not simple, it's just human nature. She was surviving the only way she knew how. . .and we're awful people for not giving her a better way to do it," Willow responded sadly.

Buffy glanced behind again to Faith, wishing she could make up her mind about her and about how she now felt about her.

"You think we're to blame. . .as much as her?" Buffy asked, already knowing the answer – although she didn't want to admit it.

"We all played our part, and I don't want to feel that guilt any more," Willow said. "I'll do my best to help her make things better."

Taking a deep breath, Buffy looked at her friend, noticing how Willow appeared determined not to make the same mistakes she believed she had done before. Buffy wasn't certain of her own mistakes, but she wasn't stupid enough to think her hands were totally clean. She had a certain amount of blood on them, probably more than the rest of her friends. It was hard to accept that was the case – Buffy was stubborn – but it was there, eating away at her.

"I guess I could try to. . .forgive her," Buffy said with a resigned sigh.

She had no choice, it was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do – but it wasn't going to be easy, or quick. They had a long way to go.

They stood in silence for a little while as Buffy digested everything Willow had said. It was twisting around in her mind, tripping her up and making her think about the past, and amongst it all was the desire, the need, the feelings she'd had for Faith. It all mocked her and burned her, scolding her insides with the memory of the pain and confusion. She'd had a hard time with Faith right from the start, and a lot of it was due to her own fear.

"So, apart from the whole not trusting her thing, and being annoyed that she's back. . ." Willow began.

"Not annoyed, just. . .mildly disturbed," Buffy corrected.

"Well, apart from that. . .how else do you feel?" Willow asked. "I mean, about her now that she's back, now that you're all gayed up."

Buffy couldn't help but chuckle. It was funny to think she was in any way 'gayed up', but she supposed she was to some extent. She had a girlfriend - one that she'd forbidden Willow to even mention around Faith, for obvious reasons - so it wasn't as if she was exactly totally straight.

"I don't know how I feel," Buffy confessed. "I never expected her to just turn up."

Hearing a noise behind her, Buffy looked around. They were all still sat at the table, but Faith glanced up at her, her dark eyes capturing Buffy instantly. She blinked, trying not to see Faith. Trying not to see her in the way she wanted and needed. Faith would never be what she needed, and she had to keep telling herself that. She had to keep herself from falling into the same trap.

Tearing her eyes away, Buffy rubbed at them and turned her back to the table once again.

"I don't want to think of her in that way; not now that I have Tru," Buffy said quietly to Willow.

"Can you do that?" Willow asked.

"I have no idea," Buffy replied. "Faith's still totally and completely hot, and I guess I'm just. . .weak."

"Dunno about that, B. You always had one hell of a right hook," Faith said behind them, making both Buffy and Willow jump. "Never felt weak to me."

"Ok, next time you creep up on me could you do it a little louder?" Buffy asked wryly as they spun around towards Faith.

"That would defeat the point. Plus, I wasn't creeping up on anybody," Faith responded with a slight grin starting to curl her lips. "Not my fault you were gettin' all hot n bothered about me just as I got here."

"I was not getting. . .ugh, it doesn't matter, just don't creep around like that when people are having private conversations," Buffy blustered as Willow knitted her brow in worry next to her.

"Sure, I'll get a collar with a bell if it helps. That way I'll jingle when I walk and you won't have to get caught calling me hot," Faith said with a big, mocking grin.

"I think I'm gonna. . .just. . .go over there," Willow said, her eyes wide as she backed away from the two slayers and pointed towards the table now occupied only by Tara and Xander.

She scurried away before Buffy could stop her, leaving her stood alone with Faith. There was the counter top in-between them, but it still felt too close to Buffy. She couldn't handle Faith being so close.

"Maybe a collar is exactly what you need. . .to keep you in line," Buffy stated smugly, gaining a raised eyebrow from Faith.

"Didn't know you were the dom type, B. Kinky."

"That's not what I meant," Buffy said hastily, feeling herself flush.

"Sure," Faith said with a wink.

As usual, Faith's flirting was unnerving Buffy – even more so given the fact she now knew how much she liked her, and now that Faith had more of a clue about it. She needed to gain control, and to show Faith that she wasn't going to make her insides go all squirmy so easily, so soon after everything that had happened.

"Don't joke with me, Faith. It's too soon," Buffy said harshly. "You have a lot to do before we're anywhere close to that."

Faith dropped her eyes to the floor momentarily, her shoulders slumping just a little.

"Yeah, I know," Faith said quietly, the husk to her voice making Buffy feel the need to get closer, to rest against Faith and feel her heat and be wrapped in her scent.

She had to almost shake herself free of the thoughts. She couldn't want what her body was clearly telling her she still wanted – it just wasn't right.

"I'm sorry," Faith continued, just as low and quiet, her brown eyes flicking up to Buffy's as she spoke. "Believe me when I say I'm sorry for everything I did."

Buffy felt her heart squeezing in her chest as she gazed into Faith's dark eyes – eyes that were full of hope. She'd never seen Faith looking so vulnerable. Her instincts told her to scoff at Faith's heartfelt apology, but she couldn't. Buffy wouldn't beat Faith for being sorry, but the words still made her an incoherent mix of angry and hopeful.

It felt like her mind and body, her heart and soul were at war over Faith.

"I'm trying," Buffy responded, almost too quiet to hear.

Faith smiled a small, tentative smile that made her eyes sparkle.

"Thank you," she said to Buffy. "If you give me a chance. . .won't be long 'till you're telling me more about how hot you think I am," Faith added, her smile sliding into more of a grin.

Buffy couldn't help but chuckle as she shook her head. There was just something about Faith – even after all the heartache and the fighting – that made her do the girly-smile thing. That made her want to flirt back, and to push that little bit further. But she'd always done her best to try to resist it, and now was no exception. Only now. . .it seemed like it was going to be much harder.

"You tell your girlfriend yet about how you got me all confused with her?" Faith asked after a short silence between them.

Buffy coughed and looked wide-eyed behind Faith to make sure nobody had heard.

"Faith, I told you to forget about that. About Tru," she said firmly. "She doesn't know about you and doesn't need to. Now just drop it."

Faith looked a little puzzled at Buffy but nodded slightly in understanding. The exchange was awkward and loaded, for all kinds of reasons that Faith didn't need to know about. She didn't want Faith talking about Tru - not only because she had no intention of revealing just who Tru was and who she looked identical to, but also because she felt guilty for being unable to look at Faith without her body reacting. She didn't want to think of Faith in any way other than the person who had wronged her, but it seemed her body was far more willing to forgive and forget than the rest of her.

"So," Buffy began, not certain what she was going to say next as she shifted around uncomfortably behind the counter.

"So," Faith echoed, also failing to continue.

Faith leaned on the counter that was between them, turning from Buffy as she looked around the shop. It gave Buffy the opportunity to study her a little – not that she'd admit she wanted to.

Her dark hair was long, lush and wavy – though not in the same bouncy way as Tru's - flowing down her back and over her shoulders. Wearing a dark tank top and black jeans with a silver studded belt, Faith looked uncompromisingly tough. Buffy knew she was that. The dark clothes mirrored Faith's dark depths. The depths that threatened to pull her down – that had pulled her down when she'd turned to the Mayor. Buffy wished she could see into those depths and help Faith stay out of them, but she knew they were part of who she was, and changing that was impossible.

Looking at her now, feeling the energy oozing from her lightly tanned skin as she stood too close for comfort, Buffy wasn't surprised that she'd fallen for her. Faith was mysterious and charming, and she was beautiful. She appealed to Buffy in every way, almost too well. She still wanted her, there was no doubt about it. She wanted to feel the burn of her skin, naked and pressed against her. She wanted to feel her full lips on her own. She wanted to know Faith in ways only a lover could. . .and she hated it. Buffy didn't want to feel that way. Not before, and not now.

"Dunno if you knew it before," Faith began, turning her head only slightly towards Buffy but not looking into her eyes, "but I always thought you were pretty fuckin' hot too. Still do," she said, her chest rising and falling a little faster. "If you weren't taken. . .I'd probably have the guts now to ask you out, but I know that's crazy talk. I know wanting you isn't gonna get me anywhere."

Blinking and trying not to feel the rush of excitement go through her hearing Faith's words, Buffy attempted to come up with a response. But she couldn't think of an appropriate one. She could lie and say she didn't care about what Faith had just said – that it didn't mean anything - but that didn't feel right.

"Faith, I. . ."

"Don't have to say anything, B," Faith interrupted, shrugging. "I just don't wanna start with all the bullshit again. New start and all that crap."

Buffy understood that. There had been so many lies before, and so many things kept secret and hidden. It had poisoned anything they could have had, including any hope of friendship.

"You can tell me to fuck off," Faith continued, "but I'm not here to lie and fuck with you any more." She looked into Buffy's eyes, moving her body round to face her again. "Got a thing for ya, B. But unless you let me know you're interested, I'll keep it outta your face. Gotta admit though, hearing you say I'm hot. . .makes me wonder if you are interested."

Feeling her mouth open and close, Buffy once again searched for an appropriate response. She looked into Faith's eyes and couldn't lie. Their brown depths pulled her in, enticing her, wrapping their way around her and offering her a chance to see deeper. No, she couldn't lie. . .but she also couldn't tell Faith the truth.

"Let's just. . .work on being friends, if that's even possible," Buffy said.

She pulled her eyes from Faith's and moved away, walking around the counter towards the table her friends were sat at. Glancing back she noticed that Faith wasn't following her, instantly realising she should do or say something to make Faith know she could sit amongst them. If Willow and Tara were right then Buffy had to try a little harder to include Faith, even if it went against her better judgement. Even if all her instincts were telling her not to trust Faith and not to allow her back into her life.

Buffy gestured with her head for Faith to come and sit down, and she watched as she pushed away from the counter to join them. She couldn't take her eyes off Faith, and she could see that Faith knew it. As Buffy sat down she kept her gaze fixed on Faith's slow walk to the table, her sure swagger mesmerizing her as it always had.

It was hard not to think lascivious thoughts now that she knew what she was missing – or almost at least. There was no ignoring how sexy Faith was now. . .but Buffy still had a pain in her heart from where Faith had betrayed her. Her appeal was heavily tainted by all she'd done.

They stayed at the Magic Box for a short while until first Xander had to leave to go to work, and then Willow and Buffy had to get to classes. Giles had asked Buffy to help re-train Faith and with all eyes on her she'd had to agree – though she made it clear she wasn't going to just let Faith walk back on to her patch without first getting on the path to trusting her. Giles agreed that it would take time and he thanked Buffy for at least being civil. He also let it slip that the Mayor had thought highly enough of Faith to leave her a large amount of money, the apartment he'd bought her, and some land. She was rich. She had millions of dollars and it didn't seem to affect her at all.

That wasn't quite right, though. Buffy saw the guilty look in Faith's eyes when he mentioned it. She saw that she didn't think she deserved it. She probably didn't deserve it, but it was hers.

"I can't believe she's rich," Willow said aghast as she walked alongside Buffy to their first class.

"She didn't seem too happy about it," Buffy pointed out as students bustled around them in the crowded hall.

"I noticed that too," Willow agreed.

They filed into the class, taking their seats next to each other as they both pulled books and pencils from their bags. Buffy felt like she could do with a day off – time to herself to figure out some things - but that wasn't really a possibility. She needed as much study time and learning as she could get as everything just seemed much harder than she'd expected. It wasn't that she was failing completely, she was just struggling a little. It didn't help that she spent her nights out slaying when she should have been getting a good night's rest.

"I overheard Giles talking to her about it just before we left," Willow said. "She was asking him about giving most of it away."

Buffy furrowed her brow. She couldn't imagine Faith being the charitable type.

"He said they'd arrange something, but that he wanted her to make sure she was comfortably well off," Willow continued.

"Do you think she deserves to be 'comfortably well off'?" Buffy asked a little bitterly. "She does. . .everything she did, and gets rewarded for it. Doesn't seem fair."

"I don't think money will stop her paying for what she did for the rest of her life, Buffy," Willow stated. "In fact, it's probably only gonna make it worse."

"I hope so," Buffy responded without thinking.

She received a disproving glare from her friend and looked suitably sorry.

"I didn't mean that," Buffy said. "Well, not totally."

"I understand how hard this is for you, Buffy. She really did her best to hurt you," Willow said quietly as the room filled with students. "You must be all kinds of confused, especially if you still like her in the. . .yunno, groin-y sense."

Buffy spluttered as she swallowed, looking a bit shocked at Willow's choice of words. Thinking about anything groin-y where Faith was concerned was a bad idea, and best left unmentioned, but now Willow had said it Buffy found it difficult not to think about it.

"You still like her don't you," Willow stated, whispering as the class hushed for the teacher.

Chewing on the end of her pencil, Buffy thought about it. She didn't have a direct answer for sure. The hurt and betrayal and everything that had happened between them still didn't completely kill the attraction she had for Faith. Maybe it was a slayer thing, but she doubted it as that didn't explain her attraction to Tru. No, it was something deeper. It was lust and desire and it ran right through her for Faith in a way it never had for anybody else.

"Yeah," Buffy admitted with a resigned sigh. "I hate that I do, but I can't help it. She's just. . ."

Buffy sighed again, wishing she had more control over what she felt. But it was all still inside her - she'd proved that by being so bowled over by Tru.

"You like the dark and dangerous types," Willow said matter of factly. "She's like the female version of Angel, except not as broody, and less fangy."

"What?" Buffy didn't see the connection.

"It's true," Willow went on. "He was bad once – much worse than Faith with the stabbing and killing, and he also drank blood. But he was trying to make up for all that, and now that Faith's doing the same you're just destined to go gooey eyed for her even more."

"God, I hope not," Buffy muttered as the teacher shushed them and began the lecture.

Hoping she didn't really have a thing for 'dark and dangerous', Buffy thought about Tru and all she could have with her. Tru wasn't any of the things Faith was. She was sweet and kind, gentle and promising. But what could she really have with somebody that was basically a stand-in? How far could they go if it was all based on a lie? She didn't want to dwell on it, too eager to hope that Tru would be the one she could be happy with. Buffy wanted to be happy. She was tired of fighting and she was definitely tired of depressing and impossible love affairs.

No matter how her body and her heart had reacted to Faith's words earlier – and they had, without warning and against everything she was trying to avoid – she needed to keep Tru in mind. She wasn't about to throw away what they could have just because she thought Faith was all kinds of sexy. And she knew she needed more than just sexy to build a decent relationship.

The only thing she could probably ever have with Faith was hot, mind-blowing sex, and though the thought of that made her hot and sticky in obvious places. . .she didn't just want sex. She wanted much more than that.

It was hard work, but Buffy did her best to avoid thinking too much about Faith for the rest of the day. It was hard not only because of herself, but also because Willow kept mentioning her. It was like a non-stop roller-coaster of thoughts and feelings that Buffy just didn't want to deal with. She'd start off being adamant that she wouldn't get friendly with Faith on any level – planning to stay away from her so nothing could go horribly bad between them again. But after a while she'd soften and believe that they could maybe patch things up enough to start again. It always sounded nice in her head, but she knew it wouldn't be that easy. And she knew it shouldn't be that easy for Faith.

There was no getting away from the fact she had to stop thinking about her in the way that was creeping up on her already. There was no future with Faith. She didn't want a future with Faith.

By the time Buffy had eaten and organized her work for the next day it was time to get ready for patrol. She hadn't called Tru yet and was feeling guilty about it, but she couldn't deal with hearing her right now – she needed a day or two to settle her feelings before carrying on with Tru. Faith's arrival had been a big shock, and Buffy was still reeling from it. It was going to be tough to get used to.

It was also tough to keep her mind on the job as she strolled through the shady corners of her first cemetery. She didn't want to find herself on the floor unconscious again, so she kept her stake in her hand and her mind focused.

As she strayed from the path, her eyes searching deep into the darkness, she heard the snap of a twig behind her. Spinning, Buffy raised her stake in readiness, dropping a little lower as she moved towards the sound of rustling.

"If you're blue and demon shaped, get ready for some payback," Buffy mumbled under her breath.

Getting closer to the quiet disturbance just beyond the thick bush ahead, Buffy prepared to lunge and attack whatever it was creeping around.

"Thought I'd never find you," came a flustered English voice from behind the bush. "Whoa, steady on, Slayer. No need to get all stake happy."

"Spike," Buffy said with an annoyed sigh. "Why are you even looking for me?"

She straightened up and lowered her stake – though not quite all the way, as she was getting way beyond agitated with Spike following her.

"Not exactly looking. . .more like, expecting to find you. What with you being a slayer and all, out here amongst the cobwebs and worm eaten bones."

"You make it sound so glamorous," Buffy said with a soft glare.

"Could be worse. I know demons that live in raw sewage. Nice fellas but they don't make the best dinner guests," Spike declared.

Buffy shook her head. She didn't want to imagine what Spike meant exactly by dinner guest. An image of him tucking a napkin into his tee shirt, as a stinky, hog tied demon struggled on a large plate in front of him didn't make Buffy instantly want to keep talking to him. Not that she actually wanted to talk to him at all.

"Yunno, if you're planning to keep stalking me like this, you could at least bring doughnuts," Buffy quipped, feeling her tummy rumble and wishing she'd had more to eat than a small TV dinner.

Spike grinned and adjusted the collar on his long black coat. "I could bring you something much better than doughnuts to eat," he said cockily.

"Ew," Buffy responded, pulling a disgusted face. "Please tell me you didn't just suggest what I think you did."

Although she wanted Faith off her mind, getting lewd suggestions from Spike wasn't going to help. In fact it did the exact opposite and made her want to think about the girly-loving even more than before.

"Mind outta the gutter, Love," Spike scoffed. "I have a friend that works in pizza delivery."

"And by friend you mean?"

"Demon that owes me some kittens," he replied. "Pizza shop manager just thinks the kid looks a bit weird, but he's a Gralk demon through and through."

"Don't tell me, he lives in the sewer," Buffy guessed, feeling less and less hungry as she thought about grime encrusted pizza.

"Only on weekends, but the pizza is good. . .or so I've heard. Not much of a fan of cheese and. . ."

"I'm getting bored now, so what did you want?" Buffy asked gruffly as they slowly made their way towards the cemetery gates, no hint of any vampires other than the one pestering her.

The night was a little cooler than previous ones and Buffy rubbed at her arms after tucking her stake into the inside of her flimsy jacket. She wanted to get her patrol done so she could get back to her dorm and plan on how she was going to keep away from Faith.

"Got some interesting news today. Something about another slayer being in town," Spike told Buffy as he strolled beside her.

Buffy wasn't surprised he'd heard already. Nothing seemed to get past him. She really didn't want to have to talk to Spike about Faith, however – it wasn't going to help the whole trying-not-to-think-of-her project.

"Was it that gossiping grape again?" Buffy asked, rolling her eyes.

"Grapevine," Spike corrected, giving Buffy a puzzled look. "As in news travels along it like. . .yunno what, forget I ever mentioned the bloody grapevine," he sighed. "So, is it true?"

"It might be," Buffy replied, crossing the street, heading to the next cemetery.

She wasn't keen on Spike knowing all about the 'slayer business'. He'd helped them out here and there, but she didn't think it was a good idea to let him get too comfortable. Without his chip he'd be just another monster looking to feed on innocent people.

"I knew it," Spike said excitedly. "So, what's she look like? Not as skinny and short as you I'm hoping."

"Huh? I didn't even say she was here at all for sure," Buffy pointed out, stopping and turning to face Spike.

"I can read you, Slayer," he said with a confident smirk. "So spill the beans."

"What is it with you and fruit?" Buffy asked, raising her eyebrow.

Spike laughed loudly, scratching at the back of his head as he studied the small slayer.

"A bean isn't a fruit. . .for a start. Now stop deflecting and tell me about her."

"Why?" Buffy asked, getting suspicious.

"Because I'm hoping she's more fun to be around than you," he said bluntly.

He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Buffy narrowed her eyes, watching as he took a long drag on it. She didn't like his interest in Faith, and it wasn't just because she was a slayer and therefore the natural enemy of any vampire. She didn't want Spike near Faith for reasons she didn't quite want to admit to herself. Faith wasn't exactly virginal and chaste, and she had a feeling she'd find Spike an interesting guy to conquer.

She couldn't let that happen.

"Spike, I'm gonna make this as clear as I can," Buffy began, taking a threatening step towards Spike. "I want you to stay away from Faith."

Spike regarded Buffy with a cold stare, his cheekbones looking even sharper in the moonlight than normal.

"Sounds like a threat, Slayer. Or maybe a challenge," he said, cocking his head slightly and raising his eyebrows in defiance.

"Oh it's definitely a threat," she confirmed. "I mean it, Spike. She doesn't need you around her. I don't want you around her."

His defiant expression slowly changed into one of amusement as he kept his eyes fixed on Buffy's. Looking like the cogs were turning in his head, Spike blew out a few smoke rings before chuckling a decidedly devilish chuckle.

"You're sweet on her aren't you," he said confidently. "Holier than thou Buffy Summers. . .not quite as straight cut as she makes out she is."

He continued to chuckle and grin, and Buffy reached for her stake.

"You're totally wrong, and you're this close to floating around in the air."

"Don't worry, Love. Your secret is safe with me," he nodded, taking a step back and holding his hands up in mock surrender. "Would love to stay and chat, but I've got people to see. . .new slayers to find."

"Spike, don't you dare," Buffy warned, practically growling. "Keep away from her."

"Come on now, Buffy," he said as he began to walk away backwards. "I gotta check out the girl that's got you all flustered. It's just too intriguing, not to say bloody funny if all those stories about her and you are true."

But Buffy didn't see the funny side. She was angry. She also knew chasing him and staking him wasn't something she could get away with, so she watched him scurry away, feeling her blood boiling and wondering just how he'd guessed so correctly about her thoughts on Faith.

She didn't know if she was more angry at his assumption about her interest in Faith, or if it was the slight possibility that Faith would be interested in Spike. Though she wasn't planning to give in to what she felt for the other slayer, she certainly didn't relish the idea of somebody else boasting about sleeping with her. She had to concede it would make her incredibly jealous.

And she knew how big a leap she was taking even imagining that Spike would get that far with Faith, but Faith was in a slightly vulnerable state, and she was no angel. She knew Faith would toy with Spike just for laughs if the opportunity presented itself.

Oh, Buffy felt jealousy rising alright, and it wasn't good for her plan to quash all she really wanted from Faith. Not good at all.

TBC…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

She was in hell. There was no doubt about it. . .it was tormenting, agonizing and painful hell. And Buffy didn't know which way to turn for the best. Faith had been back for four days – not including the Sunday night of casual groping and calling her Tru – and Buffy was finding it tough. She couldn't get away from her. She was everywhere, or at least that's how it felt.

Every time she ventured into Giles' shop, Faith would be there. Every time she'd try to talk to Willow about anything but Faith – while at college – Willow would start telling her about how she'd been getting to know more about Faith, regaling Buffy with stories about how her and Tara were spending more and more time with her. Apparently Tara just loved Faith, though obviously not in a sex way otherwise Buffy had no doubt Willow would be less inclined to hang out with her. But hang out with her was exactly what she was doing.

Not only was it hell. . .but it seemed Faith was stealing her best friend to boot.

"Stupid, sexy, annoying, Slayer," Buffy mumbled to herself as she fumbled around in her closet trying to find something to wear.

Faith was beginning to get on her nerves, and that was quite a feat considering they hadn't really spoken more than three words to each other since the meeting in the Magic Box.

She'd done her best to stay away from Faith. It wasn't that she didn't agree they needed to include her more and get over the past, it was just easier not seeing her than having to deal with all the thoughts and feelings seeing her caused. Buffy made excuses as much as she could; she was too busy at college, out slaying, had to go to dinner with her mother, etc. It wasn't like she was making it obvious she was doing the avoiding thing. . .but Willow had picked up on it.

So now Buffy was frantically looking for something to wear, so she could meet the gang – including Faith – at the Bronze. It was a group get together and Willow had made it clear that Buffy was expected to go, even though it was Thursday night and there were semi-important classes to get to in the morning. Nope, Willow wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Stupid, nerdy, lovable, Witch," Buffy muttered as she pulled on a top she thought would compliment her pants, ignoring the fact it probably was a little more creased than it was meant to be. It was tight enough for creases to be ignored.

Checking herself in the mirror, Buffy felt her head already starting to spin. There would be no avoiding tonight. Faith would be there in all her glory. Faith in her dancing clothes. . .dancing. It wasn't good. It was most definitely erring on the side of hellishness with knobs on.

To make herself feel a little better about things, Buffy had called Tru twice during the day after learning she'd have to endure the Bronze-shaped torture. Tru wasn't complaining about Buffy annoying her, in fact she'd seemed all kinds of happy given the fact Buffy had only called her on Tuesday after their last date.

Buffy had needed time to collect her thoughts before speaking to Tru, and had felt silly for leaving it so long once she'd spoken to her. Tru had been nothing but sweet and nice during the delayed first call, and it had made Buffy feel relaxed. . .and a little further from the fiery pit of Faith-imposed-purgatory.

So calling her twice in only a few hours wasn't so bad really, not when Tru's soft voice had calmed her and made her smile.

"Why can't I just be happy with what I've got?" Buffy said to herself as she pulled on her jacket.

She stood looking at herself in the mirror, studying her own eyes and calling to every bit of sensibleness she had inside her. She'd make herself be content with having Tru and not Faith. It was the only thing she could do. Tru was solid and sure, and Faith was. . .well she was anything but solid and sure, and Buffy knew what was right. Tru was who she wanted. Tru was what she needed.

Taking a slow stroll towards the Bronze, Buffy could already feel the apprehension and butterflies making her spin. She didn't want to be around Faith, yet all she wanted to do was be around Faith. It didn't make Buffy feel at ease with herself, and she hated the sensation of being ruffled. When she wasn't in control she didn't feel like herself. Not feeling like herself made her feel out of control. Vicious circle of the worst kind.

"See, we're not the last here," Buffy heard from behind her.

It was Anya and she turned to see her hurrying across the road with Xander in tow.

"Yes, dear," Xander replied, his shoulders drooping just a little.

"We could have done it again," Anya continued as Buffy stopped for them to catch up with her. "You always want to stop after three times, and you leave me all. . ."

"Hey, Buff!" Xander called out loudly, interrupting Anya's flow.

Buffy raised an eyebrow and greeted them both. She could see that Xander seemed uncomfortable and decided asking him about his day at work would give him a reprieve from Anya's babbling.

They chatted casually as they walked into the Bronze, chuckling easily and bantering warmly with each other. In all her avoidance of Faith she'd also caused herself to miss her friends, and she knew just what her friends meant to her – especially with being a slayer. Things were a bit mixed up and muddled and she had no idea how to resolve it. Maybe she needed to finally just get over Faith and accept that she was. . .looking drop dead gorgeous as she sat next to Willow, laughing and appearing confident, oozing an irresistible form of sexuality that Buffy – un-ironically – found irresistible.

"Yay, you're finally all here," Willow said excitedly as they approached the table they were sat at.

"Yup, right here. Bronzing at the Bronze," Buffy replied absently as Xander and Anya shuffled around them for seats.

Buffy was trying not to look at Faith, but it was difficult considering how Faith was eyeing her up over the top of her drink as she took a nice long gulp. Buffy couldn't help but feel the burn of Faith's dark eyes on her, and it made her shudder. She didn't know if it was good shuddering or bad, but she knew she had to ignore it.

"Drinks?" Willow asked the new arrivals as she stood to go to the bar.

"Sure," Buffy answered. "Coke."

She felt nervous and probably looked nervous, and her heart was thudding in her chest. It was silly. It was a bag of silly things wearing silly trousers. Buffy had to get a grip.

"So. . .is there a. . ." Buffy stuttered as Faith placed her drink down and licked her full, red lips, her eyes still fixed on Buffy as the others made room on the table for the drinks that would be coming.

Faith did her cute little puzzled look and Buffy momentarily slipped into dorkdom, with hints of Neanderthal thrown in.

"Um. . .one of those, yunno. . .people that play instruments. Is there one tonight?" Buffy continued in desperation as she finally peeled her gaze away from Faith.

"String quartet? A Jazz ensemble?" Xander questioned, a sly smirk on his lips. "Gotta be specific, Buffy. This is Sunnydale we're talking about."

"I like Jazz," Anya butted in, leaning forward to make sure everybody had heard her. "The little trumpets are cute."

Buffy shook her head and tried not to wonder about what exactly Anya meant.

"I think there's a band, Buffy," Tara said, rescuing Buffy from the headache that was forming.

"Ok, good," Buffy responded, fidgeting with a stained beer mat.

There was a whole two seats between her and Faith – occupied by Xander and Anya - but it still felt like she should be further away. Faith's eyes were too close. The low cut top and promise of cleavagy goodness if she bent over a little was too close. Her scent was too close. Everything about her was just too damn close.

"Yunno, that's a sign of frustration," Anya pointed out, indicating the now shredded beer mat in Buffy's hands. "Maybe you shouldn't have dumped Riley."

Xander looked apologetically at Buffy and nudged Anya. "What did we talk about earlier, An?"

He gave Anya a funny look and something obviously crossed her mind.

"Oh yes," she remembered out loud. "We're not to talk about Riley, or Faith's penchant for stabbing and killing." She emphasised her words, making little stabbing movements over the table.

Another cute puzzled look on Faith's face - as she watched Anya - made Buffy want to run screaming in sexual frustration towards the nearest exit. The night was going to be hard.

"And this is the point where I crawl under the table in embarrassment," Xander commented, once again looking apologetic.

Faith chuckled and patted him on the shoulder.

"Don't sweat it, big guy," she said, with a smile. "I've heard worse."

Buffy wasn't certain, but she thought Faith had tried to avoid eye-contact with her as she spoke. It made her think of all the things they'd called each other, and all the hate she'd shown Faith in the not so distant past. Though guilt didn't sit easy with her, Buffy felt it brewing inside.

"Well, I don't know why we have to be so careful, Faith tried to kill my Xander and it's not like it's a big secret that she was clearly all kinds of cuckoo," Anya added, twirling her finger around at the side of her head.

"Won't find me arguing with that," Faith agreed, winking at Anya and then taking a long drink.

The slight threat of an awkward atmosphere was broken by Willow returning with a tray of drinks. She set it down on the table and Tara helped her allocate them. Things were quiet and Buffy could clearly see a worried expression beginning to take shape on Willow's face as she sat down. She didn't want to let her friend down, and knew they'd all be a bit worried about how she'd be around Faith. All of them had spent some time with her since she'd been back. . .except for Buffy.

Clearing her throat nervously, Buffy decided she needed to be the one to take the lead.

"Did you move back into your apartment yet?" Buffy asked Faith, remembering Willow mentioning how she'd helped Faith make the place a little more comfortable again.

Looking a bit confused at Buffy's sudden question at first, Faith hesitated before answering slightly uneasily.

"Yeah, got some help to fix it up again." Faith nodded in Tara and Willow's direction.

"That's good," Buffy commented weakly, smiling as best she could.

She glanced away and brushed the tattered remains of the beer mat aside, as she attempted to occupy her mind with something other than Faith and the awkwardness hanging over them. The Bronze was busy but not overcrowded. People were bobbing up and down to the music as a guy in scruffy jeans began to set up band equipment on the small stage. It was just like any other Thursday night, but it all felt wrong to Buffy.

"Well, this is interesting," Anya butted in. "I mean, in a purely scientific way."

All eyes turned to her, confusion obvious as they waited for an explanation.

Xander scratched at his head and asked what she meant.

"The two slayers. . .all edgy and tension-y with each other. Which is understandable since they tried to kill each other in the past," she continued frankly. "Kinda makes me all tingly, though not in a horny way. Well actually, maybe just a little in a. . ."

"An!" Xander interrupted with a slight splutter. "Let's go dance."

"Oh, ok," Anya responded brightly, oblivious to the shocked faces around the table as Xander dragged her away.

"She's one weird chick, but kinda cute," Faith chuckled once they'd gone.

Buffy tried to hold her tongue as Willow and Tara took tentative sips from their drinks, the atmosphere clouded in possible outcomes to a charged situation. She knew she should just ignore everything that lead to the liking-Faith thing, but it was staring her in the face, holding her down, suffocating her with its temptingly dangerous grasp.

"You think Anya's cute?" Buffy asked, almost too quiet for anybody to hear.

Willow raised her eyebrow and Buffy chose to ignore it. She knew tiptoeing into the burning fire that was her attraction to Faith was a bad idea. Tru was waiting back in LA for her next visit, for sex shenanigans and possibly more. Tiptoeing anywhere other than towards Tru was just asking for a world of trouble.

Studying Buffy for a heartbeat, Faith seemed to be choosing her words carefully. She glanced towards Willow and Tara and it almost seemed like she wished they weren't sat so close. Big, dark eyes engulfed Buffy within them as Faith leaned forward slightly towards her to finally respond.

"Don't worry, B," she said low and husky, making Buffy have to stop herself from groaning under its arresting sexiness. "Only got eyes for you."

Faith winked and moved back again, leaving Buffy searching for a derisive quip that would ensure everybody knew she didn't care if Faith did or didn't like Anya, or her for that matter. The quip wasn't there and she knew she was beaten this time around. Her blood was rushing through her veins, a mixed pulse of anger and desire. It was always the same reaction.

There was no getting away from the desire, but there was always that stain of anger entwined with it, sullying it. It was generated from Buffy's need to deny acceptance of how Faith really made her feel. Faith spoke to the very core of her – the need and the yearning – and she hated that she was powerless to stop it. She always wanted to stop it. Even now, after giving in to the temptation of Tru, she still couldn't find it in herself to embrace how easily Faith switched her on, turned her on, made her want. There was always such a fight within herself over Faith, and now she had more reason to fight than ever. She had a girlfriend that was everything she wanted and had held herself back from. . .and she didn't want to ruin that just to get her kicks with the broken version of the same copy.

Buffy had to reel herself in.

As wrong as it all was - and she knew it was very, very wrong – Buffy knew she had no choice but to push Faith out of her mind so she could at least have her in some way, in the guise of Tru. Yeah, it was wrong all right. . .but it was the only way. It was the only way to have Faith without the hurt and the pain, and the eventual betrayal she had no doubt would rip them apart again.

"Keep your eyes to yourself, Faith," Buffy eventually said, a small note of warning oozing from her words.

Faith just smirked and chuckled under her breath as she turned to look out at the stage. The band were beginning to tune their instruments and people were filtering from their seats to the small space of the dance floor.

Feeling herself shaking with repressed desire and the obligatory anger inside her, Buffy disregarded Willow's uncomfortable cough and somewhat panicked expression. It was hard enough trying to deal with her own emotions, let alone Willow's. It wasn't her fault if she found it difficult to just be nice to Faith without it getting all mixed up in her head – jostling somewhere between hurt and horny.

Buffy sighed to herself and sipped at her coke, hoping Willow and Tara's attention would soon be directed towards the band now playing rather than her.

When she felt like their attention was off her, she relaxed a little. Faith had her back mostly to her, looking out into the crowd of dancers, Willow and Tara were now watching the band play – moving their heads in time to the music – and Xander and Anya were out on the dance floor doing something akin to dancing, though it looked more like Anya pushing and pulling Xander around by his arms.

Buffy had a moment to try to compose herself. She'd felt on edge ever since walking in, and it had only gotten worse when she'd laid eyes on the other slayer. Her friend's expectations and hopes were also weighing heavy on her. They wanted her to try to move on and accept that Faith was back to help, and to atone. It was difficult to see it as anything more than a spoke in her wheel, however. Faith's arrival had been bad timing. In fact, it was terrible timing and Buffy wished she could click her fingers and have Faith disappear. Not completely. . .just back to prison where she was in no danger of making Buffy go all weak kneed for her again with just a flick of her hair.

She tried to keep her eyes on the dancers and the band, but with Faith beginning to bob a little in front of her she found it difficult to do anything but stare at her back. Her gaze travelled up over the lightly tanned skin of Faith's arm, towards the tattoo that Buffy had always found herself wanting to touch. She continued, taking in firm and powerful shoulders, the long, lush wave of dark hair that her fingers could so easily become lost in, the side of her face and the attractive curve of her nose. She closed her eyes and envisioned Faith's staring back at her, bold and defiant, beautiful and possessive.

"You ok?" Willow whispered beside Buffy.

Opening her eyes, she nodded vaguely.

"Yeah, just tired," she replied.

"I'm glad you came," Willow continued as Buffy watched Faith get up from the table and dance her way over towards Xander and Anya.

Her eyes never left Faith's retreating form as it swayed and moved to the heavy beat of the music. "I probably shouldn't have," Buffy said honestly. "This was a bad idea."

"No, it's good," Willow insisted. "You have to deal with this."

Pulling her eyes away from Faith, Buffy looked at Willow, scrunching up her brow in defiance.

"I don't want to deal with it. I want to hide until it goes away," Buffy stated with a little whine.

"She's not going away," Tara added gently. "A-and. . .she's really worried that you're never going to forgive her or let her try to make up for what she did."

Buffy narrowed her eyes and glanced back towards Faith, feeling a sneaky flush of heat creep over her as she noted the way Faith danced to the music beside Anya and Xander. She danced with confident recklessness and it was hot. It always had been.

"I don't know what to think any more," Buffy said, speaking softly, evidence of her sense of defeat weighting her words. "She's dangerous. Everything about her."

Willow frowned and nodded, seemingly understanding that Buffy didn't mean she believed Faith would cause havoc this time, but that she was dangerous for Buffy and her sense of self, and her new relationship with Tru.

Tru, who was Faith's sister. A sister Faith didn't even know she had. Danger was everywhere.

"I can't fall for her again, Will," Buffy said mournfully.

She rubbed at her brow and once again found it difficult to look away from Faith, but the surprised look on Willow's face soon caught her full attention.

"Fall for her? You mean you. . .there was falling before?" Willow asked, as Tara smiled softly beside her.

Buffy hadn't quite told Willow the full extent of her keenness on Faith she realised. No wonder she looked a bit startled.

"There was falling, and I can't do that again. . .not now I have. . ."

Buffy stopped herself from finishing the sentence as Anya flomped down into the seat beside her, puffing out of breath.

"Even if she is a little nutso, that girl can certainly dance," Anya stated, nodding vigorously in agreement with herself as she pointed over towards where Faith was now dancing with just Xander. "No wonder all the guys drool over her."

A sly smile crept over Buffy's lips as she thought about how it wasn't just guys that drooled over Faith, and how it felt to know that Faith - somebody so hot and wanted - was interested in her more than she was interested in anybody else there. As if to cement that thought, Faith spun round just enough to catch Buffy's eyes. They gazed at each other across the room as Faith continued to cause drooling on a massive scale.

The swaying of hips, hands running over tight clothes and sensual curves into heavy hair as eyes pierced and burned. Buffy felt the world slipping from beneath her feet and she knew it was a bad sign. She needed to stand firm, on solid ground.

"You'd think she was so full of confidence, but her eyes give her away," Anya said to nobody in particular. "There's a sadness about her that almost makes me feel sorry for her."

Buffy looked at Anya as she turned to talk more directly to the table occupants. She didn't look for long, finding her eyes drawn to Faith once more, though Faith was now lost to the beat, dancing with her eyes closed as guys tried to get as close as they could to her.

"Almost, but not quite," Anya continued. "She did take Xander's virginity after all," she said, clearly showing her jealousy and distaste at the thought. "She's lucky I'm not into vengeance any more."

"I'm sure she's happy about that," Tara added, her smile trying to ease the atmosphere.

Buffy filtered out the rest of their conversation as Xander ambled away from the dance floor, leaving Faith to be free amongst the sweaty bodies. It almost made Buffy want to get up and go and join her, but she knew she couldn't. She didn't dare. It would send all the wrong signals to Faith. . .and make keeping away from her in the sexual sense practically impossible.

"I think I need some air," Buffy said in a distant tone, standing from the table and shaking herself free from the clutch Faith had over her.

"Do you want me to come with?" Willow asked, looking concerned.

"No, I just need to. . .I think I'm gonna call Tru."

Buffy smiled as best she could to ease Willow's mind, noticing the confused look on Xander's face only momentarily as she turned to leave the table. No doubt she'd have to explain to him later who Tru was. She wasn't looking forward to that conversation.

Brushing her way past the few people lingering at the front of the club, Buffy found the entrance and stepped out into the warm evening air. She took a deep breath to calm herself and wandered slowly down the street a little way to a bench on the sidewalk. It wasn't a busy night and she found herself alone with her thoughts. Not the best idea she'd had as now there was nothing at all to distract her.

Pulling her cellphone from her pocket, Buffy flipped it open and let her fingers idly punch in Tru's number. But she didn't call. What would she say? "I'm going nuts over your twin sister 'cause I wanna fuck her so bad. How about taking my mind off it?"

There was nothing she could say right now that wouldn't be lies and misleading mis-truths, and thinking about fucking Faith had been a really silly thing to do as now her head was full of nakedness and moaning.

She allowed herself the opportunity – for just a minute - to indulge in it; in Faith pressed hot and naked against her. In the sounds and the movements, the scents and the. . .

"Holy monkeys, that's hot," Buffy muttered to herself as her imagination took the opportunity and ran with it.

Fighting to push the image from her head, Buffy found herself feeling a little out of breath. Her body wanted Faith so much and it was driving her crazy. It always had. She guessed it probably always would.

"Too much fun goin' on in there for ya?"

Buffy froze at the words and turned her head to see Faith approaching.

"You'd know all about fun," Buffy responded coldly, the images of hot and sweaty sex soon being replaced by memories of fists and fighting.

"Been a while since I had any," Faith said nonchalantly, her boots thudding brashly on the wooden bench as she hopped onto the back, feet placed on the seat beside Buffy.

"Been a while since you learned to sit properly too?" Buffy asked with a smug expression as she moved a little so she could look up at Faith.

"Never did like living by the rules, yo," Faith replied with her own smug grin. "You know that better than anyone."

Buffy looked down and fought back the harsh memories and harsh words that wanted to come out about them. She really did want to try to put the past behind them.

"So you came out here to tell me things I already know? Or was there another reason?" Buffy asked.

Faith just watched Buffy intently for a few moments from her perch above her. It began to unnerve Buffy and she fidgeted with her phone, not knowing where to look.

"Look, I don't know what you. . ." Buffy began, finding herself cut off as Faith slid down properly into the seat beside her.

She rested her arm behind Buffy, sitting closer than was necessary or comfortable.

"Calling Tru?" Faith asked, nodding towards the cell phone.

Buffy grasped it in her hand and then slid it firmly back into her pocket.

"I was thinking about it," Buffy said uneasily as she wondered how she could extract herself from the bench and Faith's sudden closeness without it appearing abrupt.

Guessing that Willow must have given Faith that piece of info in order to explain her disappearing act, Buffy didn't bother asking how she knew. She promised herself to have a little word with Willow on the subject of saying anything to Faith about Tru. It was perilous territory.

"She's gotta be one helluva catch for you to dump Riley for her. That guy doted on you," Faith said, her eyes catching Buffy and keeping her trapped where she was.

"Well you should know, what with sleeping with him as me," Buffy said bitterly, feeling a bubble of anger pop inside her.

Faith looked down, her body visibly deflating somewhat as she grimaced. But then her expression changed and she looked back up at Buffy with more resolve and self-assurance. Her eyes were full of a stormy darkness that made Buffy feel a thrill of excitement and a tingle of dread in equal amounts.

"We all do stuff that's pretty shitty, B," Faith said firmly. "Granted, I did the fucking shittiest stuff to you and there's no excuse, but two wrongs don't make a right."

Buffy blinked at Faith's words, unsure what she meant exactly.

"Are we still talking about Riley?" Buffy questioned. "If we are, can I just say. . .you'll always be a fucking bitch for doing what you did."

The hurt and venom spilled from her lips before she could stop it, but Faith was making her feel exposed and raw. Something was going on and she didn't know what it was. Things had certainly moved on from their relatively cosy chat in the Magic Box the day that Faith had said her sorries.

"I'll never be able to say sorry enough for that," Faith responded, her shoulders dropping a little again as she moved her arm from the back of the bench to crack her knuckles nervously.

It seemed liked Faith was trying to get something off her chest, but the confidence wasn't quite there and it withered every time Buffy stuck the knife in over what she'd done.

"This is getting us nowhere. Just go back in, Faith," Buffy said.

But Faith didn't move, she just sat. . .contemplating, staring at nothing. Buffy didn't know what to do or say.

"All the fucked up things I did," Faith began slowly, her voice raspy and low, "I can't take back or fix. And you know what sucks the most?" She didn't wait for an answer that Buffy didn't have anyway. "I blew my chance with you."

Buffy shuffled beside Faith, their legs almost touching. Bodies close, but never close enough.

"I'm not sure you ever really had a chance, Faith," Buffy said, letting go of some of the bitterness enough to try to have a meaningful conversation about what they'd always held back. "I don't think I was anywhere close to even contemplating it back then."

Looking up at Buffy, Faith nodded in understanding, but there was something in her eyes. A warm glint of something. A spark of something.

"But we're not back then, B. We're now. We're here."

Holding onto her breath to steady herself, Buffy frowned, about to ask what she meant.

"You want me," Faith said, an undoubting tone making Buffy open her mouth only to find no words of contradiction forthcoming. "Don't bother saying it ain't true, Buffy. I know it is now."

Buffy felt the rise of panic beginning to well inside her. She didn't like the way this was going. She didn't want to fight with Faith. She didn't want to have this conversation if it wasn't on her terms.

"Wait," Buffy finally said, sitting forward, "what suddenly makes you so confident I want you?"

She watched as Faith turned more towards her, her hand resting behind Buffy once again as they sat together under the stars.

"Tru," Faith stated without hesitation.

A warning light switched on in Buffy's head, but she ignored it. She couldn't run from this.

"Just because I've got a girlfriend now, that doesn't mean I want. . ."

"I told you, B. Don't bother saying it isn't true," Faith butted in, her tone shifting a little to hold a note of icy cool decisiveness.

Buffy took a steadying breath, holding back her annoyance at being spoken to in the way she was by Faith.

"Never was that smart, and it wasn't her fault, but it didn't take a whole helluva lot to figure it out when Will started saying more than she should about your girl Tru," Faith stated steadily, her brown eyes shinning in the lamplight as Buffy found herself caught in them, her heart in her mouth at what Faith was saying.

They gazed at each other with a thousand questions hanging between them, each one a rope ready to hang themselves on. Each one a hope ready to take a chance on.

"Got nothing to say?" Faith asked, her closeness feeling more ominous now.

Buffy swallowed, her instincts telling her to get up and walk away. She didn't have to answer to Faith. The thing was, in this situation she knew she was in the wrong, and Faith had every right to question her.

"What is it you think you know, Faith?" she asked, making sure they were on the same page.

"I know it's me you want and not her," Faith replied, her confidence from earlier back and bristling.

"How? You don't know anything," Buffy said, deflecting and hoping she was wrong about Faith knowing.

How would she deal with her knowing? With her knowing how twisted and wrong she was.

"My twin, B? My fucking twin? That I didn't even fucking know about."

Silence shrouded them suddenly as Buffy listened to the angry words reverberating around her skull. How the hell had Faith got that out of Willow? She knew Willow wouldn't have just offered up the information, no matter how much closer she'd been getting to her.

"H-how did you. . ?" Buffy stuttered, feeling suitably embarrassed and guilty.

"Doesn't matter. I put a couple of things together and I guessed," Faith replied abruptly, her brow furrowed scornfully.

Buffy lifted a hand to her head, pressing her palm against her temple as she tried to think of a way to make it sound less bad. But it was bad. It was unforgivable to hold back the information she knew - that Faith had a twin. That she had family out there that was kind and caring. It stung her, and Faith's now cold eyes made the sharp pain that much more abrasive.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, knowing that her words were hollow and inadequate. "I should have told you. . .that you had a sister. I didn't think. I. . ."

"You were too busy getting' it on with her wishing it was me. I get it," Faith declared, her words strong and sure, making Buffy feel small and powerless.

"That's not how it is," Buffy lied. "And I am sorry that I didn't tell you. I know I should have told you as soon as I found out about her. I don't know why I didn't."

Buffy could feel tears threatening to break the surface, but she didn't want to cry in front of Faith. Not for something that was all her own doing.

"Stop lying to me, Buffy," Faith said, a calmness coming back to her voice that made Buffy look at her properly. "Look, I could care less if I have some sister running around somewhere with everything I never fucking had."

There was a sting of bitterness in Faith's tone, but she held solid, her eyes showing no emotion as Buffy allowed her to continue.

"What pisses me off is that you're fucking her. . .when you should be fucking me," she finished, her face a little closer to Buffy's in the small space being shared between them.

Buffy's blood pounded through her veins, her stomach twisting in knots at Faith's deceleration. The way Faith had spoken was sexy, alluring, hot. . .but also completely shocking.

She found herself lost for words. She didn't have anything to say. She didn't know the truth of it herself. As much as she'd fooled herself into believing Tru wasn't just a replacement, in a lot of ways she was. As much as she'd played around with the rights and the wrongs, and everything in-between. . .she knew her actions had been inexcusable. She tried to justify it with the pieces of her heart that Faith had broken – telling herself she'd been left with no choice. She didn't have control of her heart, of her body, or what she wanted.

"Faith, I. . ." Buffy began, hoping she could come up with something to keep the situation from turning ugly.

But Faith stopped her speaking, placing her hand on Buffy's cheek and brushing her thumb over her lips.

"Don't," Faith said, the low burr back to her voice as she seemed to creep even closer. "All I wanna hear you tell me is that it's really me you want."

Gazing into Faith's brown eyes, drifting on her scent and the warmth of the heat coming from her body and the hand cupping her face, Buffy was tempted - so very tempted – to lay herself on the line. But she realised lies were never the right answer.

She couldn't say for sure if it was Faith she truly wanted and not Tru. She liked Tru, more than she'd even realised up until this point. Tru was everything Faith probably never could be, and though her looks – being so identical to Faith's – played a big part in the reason she liked her. . .it wasn't the only reason.

She had to be honest. There'd been enough lies between them poisoning their relationship. Enough hurt caused by avoiding what was obvious.

TBC…


	11. Chapter 11

**Contains Femslash.**

Chapter Eleven 

Buffy turned her face away from Faith's hand, taking a breath that sucked the warm air into her lungs and made her dizzy with thought. She couldn't believe Faith knew. She couldn't believe Faith wasn't more angry about the fact she hadn't found out she had a sister in a better way. It seemed Faith was fixated on one thing, and that was being with her. Buffy didn't want that. She wasn't going to crumble for Faith.

"Faith, I'm not doing this," Buffy declared, staring into Faith's eyes as Faith lowered her hand. "This is sick and twisted. And yes, I know it's my doing. I know it's me that's sick and twisted, and I did wrong. I know I should have. . ."

Her last words came out mumbled as Faith surged forwards, lips locking on Buffy's before she could shrink back.

Faith's lips were soft, insistent and instantly addictive. Buffy lifted her hands and placed them on Faith's shoulders, meaning to push her away, but hesitating as Faith moved over her mouth. She really didn't want to kiss back. She really didn't want to give in, but years of longing beat at the inside of her skull. For a brief few seconds Buffy pressed her lips back against Faith's. For what seemed like an eternity she kissed her. She actually kissed Faith. There was actually kissing, with little sparks of gold flashing before her eyes and the whole pounding heart thing, shortness of breath and general goodness.

But the goodness couldn't last. Buffy knew it couldn't last.

She ignored the slight flick of Faith's tongue against her top lip – also ignoring the twist of desire it sparked – and pulled back. She pushed Faith away at the same time to make sure she got the message. Faith pushed back against Buffy's hands, but Buffy couldn't let this happen.

Even though her whole body had reacted to just one small kiss, she couldn't give in. Too much was at stake, not least her own sanity.

"Come on, B," Faith practically whined. "No way can you tell me you don't wanna keep doing that."

"I don't," Buffy lied. "I'm with somebody, and as messed up as it probably is, that still means something to me."

Faith shook her head, her dark eyes claiming Buffy's in a way that made her itch inside. It would be so easy to just give in and tell Faith she was right – that it was Faith she wanted. It would be easy, but it wouldn't last. They would drive each other crazy, they would fight, they would regret ever trying. Buffy knew she had to stay strong. If they got together now it would be for the wrong reason, at the wrong time. It would only turn sour and spoil any hope of them being something beyond enemies.

They had to build trust for a start. They had to mend the hurt they'd caused each other. That couldn't be done by just forgetting everything and rushing into something neither of them were prepared for. It would take time, not sex.

"I can see it in your eyes, B." Faith edged closer again, making Buffy's breaths shudder from her body. "I can taste it. You want me."

She leaned forward, a hand sliding up the outside of Buffy's thigh. Buffy was certain she'd moved back again, but it was obvious her mind was playing tricks on her as Faith's tongue teasingly slid across her lower lip then flicked once again at her upper lip. Buffy trembled – so close to taking that tongue into her mouth. So close to Faith she could feel her body heat and immerse her senses in her alluring scent.

She felt like swooning into Faith's awaiting arms. There was a screaming match inside her brain, one side begging her to take what she'd always wanted, the other willing her to do what was best for her in the long run. She had to protect her heart. But when she had Faith trailing her fingers along her thigh and her mouth so close, it was hard to concentrate on anything but the throbbing between her legs.

"Faith," Buffy sighed, barely a sound at all.

Before she could distract Faith again, Faith was kissing her, more forceful, more charged with the ever present desire between them.

Buffy trembled from her head to her feet, tingles scratching down her spine as Faith's tongue parted her lips and swept Buffy's up to duel with it. Buffy couldn't help but respond once again; she breathed into Faith's mouth, kissing her as deep as she was being kissed. Her hands gripped onto Faith's shoulders, fingers digging as they tasted and twisted their tongues in a desperate hope to sate some of the yearning inside.

It would never be sated so easily, and it would never just stay at kissing if Buffy allowed it to continue - she was just finding it very hard to stop.

As Faith sucked on her lower lip and then did the flick-y thing with her tongue on her upper that made Buffy's stomach flip upside down, she promised herself she'd pull away soon. She convinced herself it was possible. She rattled at her memories and forced them to remind her why she couldn't be doing this.

"Ok, stop," Buffy said as she finally managed to pull away, breathing harder than she wanted.

"I'll stop when you stop kissing me back, Blondie," Faith drawled, keeping her face, and more importantly her mouth close to Buffy's.

"That's not fair," Buffy sighed, closing her eyes so she wouldn't keep looking down at Faith's lips and wishing they were on her.

"Fair?" Faith asked with a huff. "You don't get to talk about fair right now."

Buffy bit her tongue – wanting to chew it right off for allowing it into Faith's mouth in the first place – and held her temper in check. Faith was well within her rights to be mad at Buffy right now.

Sliding her hands down from Faith's shoulders, Buffy took a deep breath and with some difficulty stood up from the bench. She couldn't be so close to Faith. It was obviously just too much for her libido to handle. Too much for her conscience.

"So you're gonna keep seeing her?" Faith asked as Buffy stood aimlessly by the bench Faith now sat in the middle of alone.

Her voice was marred with a mix of resentment and underlying hurt and it stung at Buffy in a way she didn't like. She wasn't used to being the bad one. She wasn't used to being in the position to be judged, especially by Faith. There was no way to answer her truthfully and not be judged, however, so she had to swallow her pride.

Turning to face Faith, Buffy wrapped her arms around herself defensively; crossing them over her chest in defiance of Faith's interrogating stare.

"Yes," Buffy finally replied uneasily. "She's. . .she's. . ."

Buffy could think of a thousand things to say, but every one of them would be like slapping Faith in the face, and she felt she'd done that enough already with the fact she hadn't told her about Tru in the first place.

"She's not me," Faith finished for her.

"No, she's not."

Buffy held Faith's gaze with her own. She tried to ignore the fact Faith was looking the picture of confidence as she sat with her arms spread out either side of her across the back of the bench, knees apart and legs stretched partially out, almost in invitation.

"I admit it's pretty shitty, Faith. I admit I fucked up. Hell, I even admit that I did. . .do want you. But we're not good together. We can't get past the fighting. . ."

"Ya haven't even tried, B," Faith pointed out with a slight smirk.

Buffy shook her head and angrily replied, "Well ya haven't exactly given me much reason to try, Faith."

They fell silent for a moment, just looking at each other; eyes full of longing barely hidden beneath the bitterness. Bad memories still scolding.

"So this is your way of getting back at me?" Faith finally asked.

"No," Buffy answered truthfully. "It just happened. I couldn't stop it."

Faith looked away, seemingly composing herself, or maybe just choosing which words to use to make Buffy feel even worse about herself than she already did. It wouldn't take much – she already felt pretty awful for being so selfish and not sharing with Faith that she had family she didn't know about. Close family.

Before Faith could say anything she tried to make up for what she'd failed to share.

"She's nice. Tru I mean," Buffy stated, feeling Faith's eyes bore into her as she turned to her once more.

"Yeah, I'll bet. Nice enough for you to screw. Nice enough for you to fuck me over for."

Buffy almost couldn't stand the deep hurt that danced inside Faith's eyes through the barriers. She wanted to turn and run. Run from her mistakes. The only problem being. . .it was Tru she wanted to run to.

"Faith, stop it," Buffy implored. "As much as I know I did the wrong thing, it's too late to change. And no matter what you think. . .I didn't do it to hurt you."

"Wait a minute, Twinkie," Faith cut in, a puzzled look on her face. "I'm not hurt." She stood up and strode the very short distance it took to get to Buffy. "I just think you should stop fooling yourself. It's me you wanna fuck, not her."

She sounded so convincing Buffy had to fight not just to agree right then and there. But she wasn't right. It wasn't just about who she wanted to fuck.

Buffy sighed and dropped her arms, feeling tired of the conversation. Tired already of feeling guilty, even though she'd all but pushed that aside in pursuit of what she wanted. Faith must have mistaken the reaction for some kind of green light. She stepped closer and pulled Buffy into her body; kissing her hard.

Mumbling, Buffy tried to pull away quicker this time, but Faith held her firmly around the waist and forced the kiss. She tried to push her tongue in to Buffy's mouth, grinning as a bunch of passing guys wolf whistled from behind Buffy.

She didn't want this. As much as she was still attracted to Faith, and as much as she couldn't deny what she made her feel. . .this was not cool. Putting some strength behind her push, Buffy shrugged Faith off, frowning crossly at her as she stumbled backwards.

"Seriously, Faith. . .stop it," Buffy warned.

Buffy's fists were clenched and Faith didn't miss the fact. Faith stood her ground for a few seconds but then conceded, throwing her hands in the air and shaking her head.

"Yunno what, B?" she asked. "You'll figure it out on your own." She pointed at Buffy and then herself as she spoke. "You want me, and I'm right here for ya. When you're done with the version of me that could never truly understand who you are, and that doesn't get you as hot. . .then you'll be right there at my door."

Faith looked Buffy up and down one more time before turning to leave. Buffy was grateful she'd left as she had nothing to say. She didn't know if she could dispute Faith's argument because. . .well, she just didn't know. She had no clue what she was doing. Buffy just wanted to be happy. She wanted things to be good for her, uncomplicated, neat and tidy and not messy and crazy. Faith made everything messy, and definitely crazy. She always had.

It took Buffy a few minutes to shake herself free of the daze Faith had left her in. So much had happened all at once and Buffy didn't know which way to turn. She couldn't deny that Faith had given her something to think about, but she did like Tru. Buffy couldn't just walk away from Tru just because Faith was offering hot and horny sex. Who knew what would follow the sex? Probably more sex, but after that. . .she doubted Faith would want to be all relationship-y.

She doubted Faith really knew what she wanted herself. Offering herself to Buffy was probably just another way to screw with her – Buffy still didn't trust Faith or her motives. Not that she trusted her own all that much more right now.

Taking a slow walk home via the many cemeteries that littered the Sunnydale area, Buffy tried to figure out exactly what it was she truly wanted. One minute it would be so clear, then the next she'd be back at square one. She got to thinking she was probably better off alone; at least then nobody but her would be hurt, or get mad.

Deep in her own pickle, Buffy lumbered into her room at the dormitory, not even bothering to turn on the lights as she kicked off her shoes, left a trail of clothes behind her and fell into bed. She'd dusted a few vamps on the way home and didn't feel like going out again to patrol. Sunnydale would have to survive a night without her for once; she was beat, gloomy, and still burning inside from the kissing.

She tried not to think about the kissing, but that was damned near impossible. Attempting to muffle her thoughts with her pillow clasped tight over her head just wasn't working. All she could think about were Faith's lips. She could practically feel them on her own; hot and sensual kisses that she would have been eager to continue under other circumstances. In fact, Buffy doubted that even her worries about trusting Faith would have been enough alone to keep her from going further.

Buffy had stopped because of Tru. Because she didn't want to cheat. Didn't want to ruin something that might – or definitely would - be better than what she could hope for with Faith.

"No more Faith," Buffy muttered to herself as she let the darkness wrap around her.

There could be no more Faith when she wanted Tru.

By lunchtime the next day Buffy was tired of all the thoughts in her head. She couldn't concentrate on anything else and it led to a headache she wanted to beat out of her own skull. She'd successfully managed to avoid Willow all morning, not knowing quite what to say to her about the fact Faith had prized far too much info from her. It wouldn't be fair to take her bad mood out on Willow, though snarling at her wasn't out of the question – hence the fact she was keeping her distance.

She didn't much feel like being in college either so Buffy had made her way to Giles' shop to take some of her frustration out in the small gym in the basement. She was cautious entering at first in case Faith was there. Luckily she wasn't, and Giles didn't ask why Buffy had the sudden urge to beat up inanimate objects. He was happy she was training and that's all that mattered to him.

After slipping in to some comfortable pants and a small tee shirt, Buffy warmed up. She stretched her body and her mind, making both forget about how Faith had made her feel. She had always been able to immerse herself in the physical side of training. Even though sometimes she'd whine to Giles about wasting her time down in a gloomy basement, she enjoyed learning to control the power within her.

Giving a final stretch to her back, she centred herself, both literally in the middle of the basement, and metaphorically as she found her inner peace – or what was left of it at least.

She ran through a few set moves, lunging and twisting with practised ease. Her mind switched into auto mode – nothing but the movements, planning the next step, the next part of the dance. Of course she preferred using her skills against an actual opponent, but there was something about closing your eyes and just letting the body flow. And she knew she flowed well.

This was who she was. This was her calling in action; moving fast, breaking the air with her fists, floor groaning as she jumped and sprang. She knew exactly where she was in the room. She knew her surroundings; every weapon she could reach for, every place she could utilise in a fight. Buffy didn't need to look to be sure of what she felt all around.

"Impressive," came a voice from the stairs, accompanied by the sound of clapping.

Buffy opened her eyes, whipping her head around to look towards the stairs, almost tumbling onto her ass as she lost balance. She waved her arms around to regain composure and glared at the girl smirking her way.

"Not so impressive," Faith added with a chuckle.

Buffy glared and finally caught herself from falling, resting her hands on her hips.

"What do you want?" Buffy asked harshly.

She wasn't being friendly and she knew it, but friendly wasn't what she felt. It was probably terribly mean, but Buffy didn't care. Though she knew she was far from the finger of blame this time, she wanted to duck and weave past its accusing pointing. If there was any way to make Faith seem more like the one in the wrong, she'd damn well make sure to do it.

"No need to get snappy, B," Faith drawled as she made her way down the last few steps, heading closer to Buffy than she was going to be comfortable with. "Giles thought'd be a good idea for us to train together."

Buffy's eyes went wide.

"He though it. . .he thought. . ." She was a little lost for words. Shaking herself free from the unflattering case of stutters she continued, "He seriously thought – after everything we've done to each other – that it would be a good idea for us to start hitting each other? Alone?"

Faith shrugged and idly fingered a sharp axe as it lay next to a wide array of weapons on the cluttered counted top.

"Well it's not like I'm gonna come down here and slice you up is it, B?" Faith asked, raising an eyebrow at Buffy.

Not sure whether Faith was expecting an honest answer or not, she narrowed her eyes and kept her mouth closed. She doubted Faith would try anything like that but she had to be careful. For all she knew, last night could have been a trick. Faith could have just been trying to convince her that she was into her to get inside her head - her life - and then screw things up for her once more. Given their history it wasn't a far fetched notion, but something about that didn't feel right.

Buffy could see that Faith wanted her – it was now clear in her eyes. Faith was looking at her differently. Or maybe Buffy had only just realised exactly the way Faith looked at her – had always looked at her.

"So, what you down here for anyways? Thought you were the student type these days," Faith continued as Buffy reached for her towel and brushed it over her arms.

"I am," Buffy confirmed brashly, feeling edgy.

She didn't want to look Faith in the eye. Didn't want to notice that her ass looked really good in the jeans she had on.

"I just needed to blow off some steam."

Faith walked a little closer to Buffy, every step drawing her green eyes to the sway of her hips. Faith was like a hypnotist's pocket watch, tricking Buffy into a daze she didn't want to fall into. And she couldn't be caught looking. Not in the way she was.

She turned away from Faith, made her way over to the punching bag and threw an aimless punch at it. Her mind was now totally off the idea of training, and back onto Faith. She should have been smarter and trained elsewhere, or maybe buried her head in a book someplace where nobody could find her and taunt her with their sexiness.

"You can blow it off on me if ya want," Faith suggested, following close behind Buffy.

Furrowing her brow at Faith, Buffy span around. She was growing hot and irritable.

"I told you last night, I'm not interested," Buffy exclaimed.

"Hey, back off, Tiger. I just meant with the training."

Faith smirked at Buffy and she knew that's not what she'd really meant; Buffy wasn't stupid, though she was beginning to think she was crazy at least. But as much as she wanted to rush up the stairs away from Faith, her legs didn't seem to want to carry her that way. As much as she scowled at Faith, the rest of her body wanted to sidle up beside her and find Faith's curves with her own.

She had to stay away.

"I can train on my own," Buffy assured.

"There's a lot of things you can do on your own, but yunno. . .sometimes it's more satisfying doing it with somebody else," Faith said slowly, her grin mocking Buffy as much as enticing her.

Buffy could feel herself tipping into angry, expecting many more innuendos. Sure, she was mainly angry at herself for causing the situation in the first place, but she was definitely pissed at Faith for pushing her. She knew things would only get worse. This was just the beginning.

"There are things I do with other people, Faith," Buffy responded scathingly. "I won't be doing them with you."

She turned away from Faith once more and took a more convincing swing at the punch-bag. It rattled on the chain as it tried to get away but it was soon met with another thwack as she blasted it with her other fist. Her body was buzzing, and she needed control. Buffy needed her focus back.

Unfortunately Faith didn't seem to be going anywhere, and Buffy didn't seem to be asking her to go anywhere. She said nothing as Faith took the heavy punch-bag in her hands and held it firm for Buffy as she swung at it repeatedly.

Eventually her eyes flicked to Faith's as her knuckles pounded the bag. Green swam into deep, dark brown, engulfing Buffy with all that she'd wanted. Teasing her with all that she'd ran scared from in the past. Tempting her with the promise of heated kisses that she wouldn't pull away from. How was she meant to keep her head when it was full of Faith? Faith's eyes, Faith's firm hands on the bag, Faith's sleek hair as it whispered over her shoulders. Faith's small hips, strong legs, breasts encased in a tight black tee shirt under the dark, denim jacket that made her look just as cool as she portrayed herself to be.

Buffy couldn't take it. Couldn't take being in the same room as Faith. She wanted her. There was no denying it. She wanted her hot and hard and. . .

"You trying to fuck me with your eyes, B?" Faith asked, her voice husky and dripping with desire. "'Cause it's working."

Buffy shook her head to clear it and dropped her hands by her sides. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and thought of Tru. She thought of her right up until Faith was pressed against her; one hand on her hip, the other holding her face, lips on her lips.

She moaned without meaning to as her mouth responded naturally; kissing Faith back with as much need as Faith was kissing her. Their tongues instantly sought each other out, slick and warm as they searched for more intimacy. It felt right. It felt good, and Buffy felt like a thousand butterflies were taking flight in her stomach.

Sliding her arms around Faith she held on, fearful of floating right up to the roof. As corny as it was, that's how she felt. Every hair was standing on end as they kissed. Every sigh and dangerous little whimper confirming what they both knew. They started fighting for breath, not wanting to break apart, hands grasping at clothes as seconds ticked into minutes that stole more and more of Buffy's determination.

But they couldn't do what they were doing. As much as Buffy wanted to continue, she couldn't fight down her pride and self-righteousness.

"Ugh! You're driving me crazy, Faith," Buffy groaned, stepping away from Faith and catching her breath.

Turning away from Faith she held a hand to her forehead, rubbing at her brow. She wanted to rub at her lips to wipe them clean of Faith's taste and the memory of her. The memory wouldn't go, however. Buffy knew that much. Now she'd dipped her toe in, her whole body wanted to follow. She wanted to dive into a big, wet pool of Faith, but she couldn't allow it to happen.

"See, I knew you were crazy about me, B," Faith quipped, getting closer again from behind Buffy.

"Not crazy in that way," Buffy clarified. "I mean, regular, good old, brain-flaming, crazy."

She span back around to face Faith, surprised at how close she was to her again. Taking a step back, she glared at Faith; the kind of glare that made the green in her eyes shine, and caused people to step aside to make room for her. But Faith wasn't stepping anywhere but forward, toward her.

"Gotta be a reason for that," Faith alleged. "Apart from all the fucked up, bad stuff I did."

Buffy felt the countertop hit her lower back as she backed into it, eyes fixed on Faith's as Faith continued forward. She stopped just in front of Buffy, entirely too close for Buffy to feel comfortable. Moving again would only make it look like she was running away – which of course she was trying to do, but she didn't want to appear like a complete idiot.

"I always thought there was something," Faith added. "Knew I wasn't imagining it."

"Imagining what?" Buffy asked as she placed her hands on the edge of the counter, behind her, giving herself something solid to hold on to as she once again felt the floor slipping away from her because of Faith.

"The way you'd look at me, first time around," Faith replied.

"I didn't look at. . ." Buffy sighed, struggling internally with her conscience and her integrity. "Ok, so I may have looked at you like. . ."

"Like you wanted to fuck me but were too scared to ask," Faith finished for her.

"I wouldn't go that far. Not then," Buffy asserted. "Maybe just some groping, making out. . ."

"Fucking."

Buffy rolled her eyes but couldn't help the small grin that slipped out. She hated that Faith could so easily sway her. She'd always been easily led by Faith, and it had always landed her in trouble. More trouble than she'd been able to cope with.

Memories came rushing back, warning about being too friendly with Faith, especially given the circumstances.

"I shouldn't have kissed you back," Buffy stated, her mind clearing just a little.

"But you did, and you'd do it again," Faith said confidently.

"Don't be so sure, Faith."

Buffy wished she felt as sure as she tried to sound. The truth was less definite.

"You seriously can't tell me you're holding out for the second-rate version of me," Faith stated.

"She's not second-rate," Buffy pointed out. At least she was certain of that. Tru wasn't Faith, but Tru was in no way inferior. "And you seriously can't tell me you're not interested in meeting her or getting to know her. Aren't you at least curious about your sister?" she asked.

Faith raised her eyebrows and scoffed. The question stopped her slowly getting closer, so as uncomfortable as the subject was, Buffy thought it might be a good idea to keep Faith occupied with that rather than with them and their obvious desire to jump each other.

"Buffy, I couldn't give a crap about her, I told you," Faith said gruffly. "I don't need anymore pointless family in my life than I've had already."

"But she's. . ."

"I don't give a fuck," Faith exclaimed, her temper beginning to sizzle at the edges. "I doubt you want her knowing about me either, so I'm doing you a favour."

Buffy looked past Faith for a moment, a small "Oh!" forming on the tip of her tongue. She didn't vocalise it, choosing to have a slight panic attack on the inside instead. She hadn't fully grasped the whole implication of Faith now knowing about Tru. Now that Faith knew about Tru she supposed she'd have to tell Tru about Faith. That was a conversation she had no idea of starting - or middling, or ending. How the hell could she explain Faith?

She couldn't even begin to think about telling Tru about Faith. Her mind refused to wrap around the possibility, but it pinched at her, poked at her to remind her how messy things already were.

There would be no way of telling her about Faith without wrecking their new relationship, and she didn't want it wrecked. She was looking forward to getting to know Tru better - a whole lot better – and now there was a possibility that it wouldn't get any further than Tru wondering what planet Buffy had landed from for not disclosing that she knew her twin sister. Her twin sister that happened to be an ex-convict. That happened to be the girl Buffy had confessed to once falling in love with. That happened to be the girl she'd just been swapping saliva with.

Oh, things were bad. Things were very bad with even bleaker prospects.

"No need to look like someone just told you you're impregnated with Spike's 'lovechild', B. I'm not gonna spill your little secret to her," Faith told her.

Buffy just blinked, attempting to keep control of the need to run around tearing her hair out. She had no clue what had just happened to her life, but suddenly. . .she longed for the easier days of pretending to like her boyfriend and feeling awkward yet normal as she tried to fit in to college life. Things surely couldn't get any worse, that's for sure. Or could they?

"Spike?" Buffy asked abruptly. "Have you been talking to Spike?"

She really didn't like that thought. It led to bad images of Spike and Faith and way too much flesh and. . .the jealousy won out over sanity and she felt her blood begin to boil in eagerness to slay something dead with bleach blonde hair.

"I wouldn't exactly call it talking," Faith answered.

Buffy tried not to imagine what that meant exactly but she couldn't help guessing. It made something twang in her chest – probably a muscle from all the tensing as she strengthened her grip on the counter top.

"Faith, he's dangerous," Buffy warned. "He might have a chip in his head but he could still. . .and anyway. . .ew! I mean, it's Spike. Just ew!"

Removing a hand from the counter as she heard it creaking under her grasp, Buffy ran her fingers over her forehead. This situation was a pain. A pain in the head.

"Whatever weird place you just went to. . .believe me, I didn't. You're on your own there with your pervy thoughts," Faith said with a chuckle.

"I wasn't having pervy thoughts. They weren't pervy at all," Buffy argued. "Pervy suggests titillation, and what was in my head was more terrifying than titillating."

Faith continued to chuckle as she grinned at Buffy.

"You just got jealous at the thought of me with some guy huh," she suggested.

"Vampire, not guy," Buffy corrected, avoiding having to confirm her jealousy.

"You're seriously making that distinction given your history?"

"Angel's different," Buffy pointed out firmly.

"Sure," Faith said sarcastically. "Different 'cause it was you fucking him and not some crazy bitch like me. You afraid Spike's gonna get me all stab-happy again?"

She sounded angry now and stepped even closer to Buffy.

"That's not what I. . ."

"Not sayin' I'm perfect now, B. But I'm not gonna screw a vamp. And I'm not gonna do any of the shit I did before," Faith assured. "Anyway, I didn't even touch Spike. We had a drink, I made fun of him, then he went off and sulked. And you can get off the high horse, 'cause you're seeing my twin, B. Means you don't get to judge me and who I fuck. Also still means you're into me more than you can ignore anymore, so stop trying to pretend you're not."

Before Buffy had a chance to react, or to worry more about what the hell she was going to say to Tru, Faith was in her personal space again. So far into it that Buffy could practically feel Faith's heart beating against her own chest. It was almost nice, but she couldn't think about nice when Faith was pushing her in a direction she really didn't want to go. Ok, so she had to try to convince herself that she didn't want to go that way, but at least the hope was there.

She had to try. Hard. She had to close her eyes and. . .gasp a small breath as Faith ran her hand up the side of her stomach, fingertips brushing the side of her breast.

"Faith, this really isn't what I want," Buffy said, a slight tremble to her voice as Faith's thumb strayed dangerously close to her already reacting nipple.

"Stop lying to yourself," Faith pushed, her nose tickling its way up Buffy's neck as she held herself stiff, still gripping the counter.

Buffy tilted her head to the side, cursing herself as she allowed Faith's tongue to flick out at her neck. A soft moan threatened to ease its way out of Buffy but she held it in, gritting her teeth as Faith kissed and licked at her throat in a way that was sure to have her slipping into an oblivion of ecstasy.

She wanted to tell her to stop. She wanted to remember it was Tru that was meant to be doing this. But she was having a hard time thinking anything beyond the exquisite tingle emanating from her clit.

Her pussy was growing wet; eager for some attention, especially from Faith. It was impossible to ignore, but there were more important things at stake than she could stand to throw away for the sake of. . .getting what she'd always wanted from Faith.

"Ok, you need to not do that anymore," Buffy breathed out, pushing against Faith's shoulder with one hand in a now familiar way.

Faith was still at her neck; her lips nibbling away at Buffy's sense of restraint. She didn't budge when Buffy pushed at her. Even though Buffy's panties were growing damper by the second under the assault of Faith's mouth, she needed to get back her control.

"Faith, stop," she finally requested, giving another small shove.

With a gruff groan Faith pulled back just enough to look into Buffy's eyes. Her own dark eyes were almost black; raiding Buffy's soul with their penetrating need.

"Come on, B," Faith said, husky seductiveness coating every syllable. "No point fighting this. We've done enough fighting."

Her lips met Buffy's with ease, as if that's where they were always meant to be. As if it was the most natural thing in the world for them to be kissing; opened mouthed, and exploring tongues. And once again Buffy gave in to the kiss, unable to pull back right away from Faith's soft lips and searing heat as she stripped away Buffy's objections with every movement of her mouth.

Buffy mumbled across Faith's lips, "Wait." But the word got lost as she moaned under Faith's hand at her breast.

Faith squeezed, and then ran her thumb right over Buffy's nipple causing them both to kiss harder. Finding the space between them disappearing quickly, Buffy became lost to temptation. She swallowed Faith's hot breath and tasted the supple tongue as it snaked over and around her own. Buffy didn't think she'd ever kissed quite so deep before. Maybe there had been boys that had done it clumsily with her, making it feel more like they were trying to pick at her teeth with their tongues, but this was totally different. This felt sexy. It felt good. It felt like what she should be doing with Tru, and not with Faith.

"Jesus, Faith," Buffy said shakily as she leaned back, hands trying to subtly ease Faith away from her at her hips. "I can't do this. This is wrong."

Trying to hide the truth of what she really wanted by shying away from looking too long into Faith's eyes, Buffy shook her head. She repeated the word "no" over and over in her mind. No to wanting Faith. No to being weak. No to being a cheater.

"It's not wrong to want, B," Faith baited, lifting her hand to join the other at Buffy's chest.

Buffy was now being thoroughly groped – her breasts practically swelling in pleasure for Faith's expert hands - and the flood of arousal between her thighs intensified. She wanted to squeeze her legs together; to find some relief as much as give Faith a hint not to go there. But it seemed that Faith wasn't good at getting hints as her right hand travelled painfully slowly down Buffy's stomach towards the top of her sweatpants.

Gazing into Faith's eyes to try to get her full attention, on something other than her body, Buffy took a shaky breath and tried to get Faith to give her a break. Even just a small one.

"Faith, don't," she said, quiet and ineffective, her new mantra around Faith now.

Fingertips slid to Buffy's waistband, lingering as Faith licked her lips and glanced down between them. She looked like she was going to chew Buffy up and spit her out – in a way that would feel really nice but leave Buffy hating herself.

"You don't mean that," Faith insisted, easing her fingers under the waistband as her lips travelled over Buffy's jaw and back to her neck.

"No, I really. . ."

Buffy sighed as all her past fantasies of this moment came flooding back. Her body certainly knew it wanted Faith. She could barely stand the fluttering in her stomach and the ache between her legs. She wanted to push Faith's hand lower, into her panties until all she could do was murmur Faith's name and enjoy the first touch she'd always dreamt about.

"I really. . .can't do this," Buffy forced out, finding just enough willpower to use her body weight against Faith to make her back off.

Unfortunately it seemed that Faith was so engrossed in what she was about to do that she obviously didn't expect the sudden movement. She flailed backwards with Buffy's push, and grabbed on to Buffy by the waist to steady herself. Buffy was in no frame of mind to react quick enough to stop the inevitable tumble to the floor that followed.

"Fuck," Faith yelped as she landed on her back with Buffy on top.

They landed on one of the training mats, causing dust to fly out from each side, filling the air. Buffy's breath shot from her body. Faith wasn't exactly a soft landing. Though her breasts were soft and squishy - cushioning Buffy's own chest - the rest of her was all skinniness and firm muscle.

"Ow," Buffy complained.

"Hey, it was your fault, Twinkie," Faith accused, not hurrying to move from her position with Buffy straddling her.

"I wasn't the one being all grope-tastic, Faith," Buffy pointed out, also failing to move.

"Don't feel like ya have to keep it that way," Faith suggested with a grin, wiggling her eyebrows.

Buffy didn't want to think about touching Faith, but it was almost impossible not to. Faith didn't need to know that, though.

"That will not be happening," Buffy asserted.

She hoped she sounded sure, even if she didn't feel it.

"Yunno, before I mighta believed you," Faith responded. "But now. . .I know it's bullshit."

Faith gave another wiggle of her eyebrows and flipped Buffy over on to her back. A hand quickly found its way back to where it'd been exploring before Buffy had made things a whole lot worse by bringing them crashing to the floor. Buffy tried to protest but all that came out was a small squeak as Faith roughly pushed her hand inside her loose sweatpants. She didn't go as far as getting inside her panties, but Faith's fingers landed right over her pussy. Buffy's whole body jerked in reaction.

"Faith!" she gasped through gritted teeth, a mix of shock and desire, trying her best not to give Faith all the power by just allowing her to do what she wanted.

But even though she needed to protest, and needed to crawl away and run until her lungs were bursting, Buffy didn't do much more than arch into Faith's touch.

"Fuck, I can feel how wet you are through your panties, B," Faith drawled huskily, moving her fingers over Buffy. "Lemme fuck you," she all but pleaded – hot breath spilling over Buffy's ear.

Buffy was desperate to keep still so she wouldn't feel even more of Faith's fingers as they brushed over her soaked panties across her aching clit, but it was like fighting the toughest demon she'd ever faced. It was like slamming her head over and over into a wall – doing nothing but give her a headache, and possibly knocking out all her sense.

"You can't, Faith," Buffy answered with some difficulty. "Giles might. . ."

"He won't come down, he's busy," Faith interrupted.

"I don't wanna do this. This is. . ."

"You're soaked, B. You want me to fuck you."

Buffy couldn't deny she was wet for Faith. It would be pointless as Faith could feel the evidence for herself, and Buffy was only getting wetter with every teasing pass over her clit through the damp material. It also didn't help that Faith was between her legs, her cleavage right in front of Buffy, her heat and scent washing over her. It was an unfair advantage that Faith had, and Buffy's fight was quickly running out of steam.

"Don't," she said weakly, closing her eyes and tipping her head back as Faith kissed and nibbled at her neck.

She felt all her determination float away as Faith's fingers slipped under the last barrier. Faith was clearly ignoring Buffy, and as they both sighed in pleasurable appreciation when Faith's fingertips eased between wet folds, Buffy couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. Buffy didn't like being ignored. She didn't like when she wasn't the one in control. But Faith was fingering her pussy – sliding around and circling her clit. Buffy was no longer in control of anything.

"Oh, fuck," she moaned, hips rising to meet Faith's hand.

"Wanted to do this for so long," Faith confessed, a whisper against Buffy's throat as she kissed her way back to parted lips.

Buffy was covering Faith's fingers in sticky arousal as she gripped onto her with a hand at her back, holding Faith close even though she wished she could throw her off. Her body seized all control, banishing her brain from making the decisions.

Another moan escaped her as Faith slipped over and around her clit, faster every time, harder with ever shuddering breath Buffy gave her in response. Rather embarrassingly, it wouldn't take much more to make her come. And as much as she was starting to feel incredibly disappointed in herself for giving in to temptation, she wanted to touch Faith. She needed to make Faith come with her so it wasn't just about Faith being in control or taking advantage.

Keeping one hand on Faith's back, she pushed the other one between them, searching for entrance into Faith's pants. It wasn't exactly easy, Faith's pants were tight so she was forced to struggle with the button and zip, and Faith wasn't exactly helping as she pressed a little harder against Buffy's clit. Buffy trembled, close to the edge, accepting hot, open mouthed kisses from Faith as the world began to spin.

"Oh, God," Buffy panted. "Oh, you should stop."

Her futile declaration went unheard and her fumbling fingers continued to battle their way into Faith's jeans, even though she wasn't exactly sure how to touch another woman, or if she could do it well. She got as far as dipping inside them and feeling the material of Faith's panties before the relentless assault on her clit took its toll.

"Fuck, you're good," Buffy gasped.

She threw her head back and arched into Faith, panting out a series of quiet moans and "ohs". So close. Just one more. . .

From across the room Buffy's cell phone rang out loudly. She whipped her head to look towards it as it sat on top of her bag. She knew who it was. . .and it brought reality crashing back down on her.

Looking back at Faith, Buffy gazed into her eyes. Eyes willing her not to move, not to go.

"Let me make you come, B," Faith implored, fingers swirling faster.

The tension inside Buffy almost reached its peak, but she fought the urge to let go this time. Tru was calling, and not only did Buffy feel bad for making her wait, she also felt absolutely terrible for being in the position she was currently in. A spark of conscience flashed inside her and she violently pulled her hand out of Faith's pants.

"No, stop, Faith," Buffy demanded, pushing up at her with her hands. Forcing Faith to move.

"What the fuck, B?" Faith mumbled, clumsily trying to grapple with Buffy to keep her in place. "Don't answer it."

Buffy realised she was being slightly insane - first pushing Faith away, then almost coming for her, then back to pushing – but she couldn't miss the call, and she could no longer shut out the very big part of her brain that was telling her not to cheat on Tru. Especially not with Faith, who was only going to screw her up more than before, even if it was through totally different means.

"I have to," Buffy insisted.

She tugged on Faith's arm, pulling her hand from her sweatpants. Faith grunted in disapproval and reluctantly moved to the side so Buffy could get to her feet.

With sticky panties and a throbbing clit, Buffy rushed over to her phone, not giving Faith a second glance.

"It's Tru huh?" Faith asked, though she seemed to know for sure anyway going by the tone of her voice.

Buffy looked at her guiltily and grabbed her cell. It stopped ringing just before she hit the button to receive the call. Now she felt doubly guilty, and mad at herself for giving in so easily. She couldn't believe she'd allowed Faith to touch her so intimately. She also couldn't believe how good such a simple touch had felt. Her body needed – wanted – Faith to finish the job, but she had to ignore the tingling and the desire to come. She needed it to be Tru to do that for her.

She had just made a very big mistake.

"I'm seeing her tomorrow," Buffy said quietly. "I need to call back."

Faith dusted down her pants as she finally got to her feet and moved closer to Buffy.

"Even after. . ." Faith nodded her head towards the spot on the floor they'd just been occupying together.

Buffy nodded, but refused to say yes aloud. She also couldn't look Faith in the eye, feeling ashamed of herself and pissed at Faith for pushing so far so fast. Instead of facing what had just happened, she pressed the speed dial straight to Tru, and lifted the phone to her ear.

Faith was up the steps and out of the door before Tru even answered, the loud crash of the door reverberating around the room as Faith slammed it behind her.

Buffy had indeed just made a very big and very messy mistake. Everything was poised to blow up in her face, and she didn't have a clue how to avoid it without losing both Tru and Faith.

She didn't want to lose either. As much as Faith infuriated her. . .she had to admit she wanted her around. And as much as it confused her – given the fact she was clearly still into Faith - she could freely admit that Tru was very much under her skin already, and the two didn't sit well together.

There would be no quick fix for this problem. Buffy just hoped nobody got hurt - including herself.

TBC…


	12. Chapter 12

**This chapter contains femslash and is for a mature audience**

Chapter Twelve

The ache in Buffy's head had intensified since her encounter with Faith earlier that day. She couldn't stop driving herself insane; questioning herself. Questioning her motives with Tru and her feelings for Faith. She'd fallen so easily under Faith's spell and the guilt was eating her up already. Guilt for doing what she had with Faith behind Tru's back, and guilt for not having told Faith about Tru in the first place.

No matter how she tried to justify it all, she couldn't. But she also didn't want to just walk away from Tru. Her moral high ground was getting lower every day, but it was hard to care when she thought about how nice it was being with Tru. Tru made her feel something nobody else had ever seemed to make her feel. She felt free around Tru – despite the weight of her guilt. She felt normal. It felt like she had a chance to just be 'Buffy' with Tru, and though it was coming at a price it didn't deter her from wanting to enjoy that sensation. It was a sensation she hadn't felt in a long while, so she was damn well sure she was going to cling to it.

All she had to do was ignore the fact that if Tru ever found out about Faith. . .her little piece of happy would come crashing down on her like a ton of bricks. She was tough, but she doubted she'd be getting up and walking away without a few scars from that kind of calamity.

The shower she'd taken to wash away her aroused state hadn't exactly helped Buffy deal with how she felt about her and the insanity of the situation. She could practically still feel Faith's fingers on her. She'd been so close to coming for Faith. It freaked her out, with a side order of "Oh my God!" for good measure. It made her hot, horny and disgusted with herself all at once. There would be no forgetting what had happened anytime soon. And there would be no easy way of dealing with Faith after that; especially with the way things had ended.

Faith's ego would have taken one hell of a beating and Buffy hoped it wouldn't help her slip back into old habits. She didn't want that to happen. She didn't want to lose Faith again to her self-destructive and insecure fondness for hitting out at everything around her that caused her pain. Buffy would have to try to fix things, but she had no clue how, and right now. . .all she could think about was seeing Tru so she could attempt to wipe the memory of Faith's fingers and lips away.

They were meant to be getting together the following day. Buffy had the bus ticket already, having convinced Tru that she didn't need to drive all that way to pick her up, but Buffy wished she could go sooner.

Biting at her already short fingernails, Buffy gazed at the phone on her bedside table. She doubted Tru would mind her arriving early – a whole day early so they could spend that night together. It was probably a good idea to call her first, however. The last thing she wanted to do – other than cheat on her with Faith of course – was overstep the mark.

She slowly approached the phone, images of Faith filtering into her mind. Pushing them out wasn't easy, but it was necessary. She hadn't spoken to Faith since she ran out slamming the door behind her, and even though her brain was telling her she should call and apologise, the only person she wanted to call right now was Tru. There was no way she could speak to Faith yet. Not only did she not have a clue what to say, but hearing Faith's husky voice would probably send her panties back to squishy town and she didn't want to have to shower again.

Her fingers drummed over the buttons on the phone but she paused and cancelled it, punching in a different number instead. She needed transport.

Buffy called Giles first, not beating around the bush and asking right away to borrow his car. She managed to convince him that there was some emergency in LA that required her slaying know-how. He wasn't sure why Angel couldn't deal with it alone, but Buffy was getting better at lying everyday and pretty soon he was encouraging her to go, ever the proud watcher. Once he agreed Buffy did a silent dance of joy, pushing aside the growing ball of guilt at lying to everybody she cared for. She needed to be in LA.

After telling Giles she'd be on her way soon Buffy called Tru, her fingers crossed behind her back. If it transpired that Tru wasn't in, or that she wasn't keen on Buffy arriving a day earlier than planned then she didn't know what she'd do. She'd have to find Willow and confess all just to get it off her chest and that was out of the question right now. She was still mad at Willow and not in a hurry to have any deep and meaningfuls with her anytime soon.

Luckily Tru was at home and happy that Buffy wanted to move their schedule forward. Buffy spoke to her as cheerfully as possible; hoping that Tru wouldn't get suspicious. Of course, as far as Tru was concerned there was nothing to be suspicious about. She even offered to pick Buffy up, but Buffy declined in favour of Giles' worryingly fragile car.

"I'd love you to come up tonight, Buffy," Tru told her.

"I'll see you soon then," Buffy agreed with a grateful sigh.

Pretty soon she'd be able to get Faith right out of her mind. Well maybe not completely, but there was more hope of that being the outcome than if she'd spent the night alone with her thoughts and the possibility of continuing where Faith had left off.

Once she'd thrown some things in to a bag and made sure she was presentable, Buffy made her way to Giles' apartment thinking about how she was making the right choice. She would never be able to have the same kind of relationship with Faith that she could have with Tru. There would be no calling Faith up on the spur of the moment wanting to get together and canoodle. She wouldn't be greeted with sweetness and warmth, it would be all bravado and boobs with Faith. And though Faith's boobs were certainly magnificent. . .there was more to life than boobs. Besides, Tru's boobs were practically identical to Faith's anyway so it wasn't as if Buffy was really missing out in that respect. Not really. Right?

There was no point dwelling on such small – or not so small – details. It would only lead to bad things, or back towards the bad things that had already happened.

"We'll both be back in one piece," Buffy reassured Giles as he flustered a little about her driving ability and his car.

She was on her way, and she'd soon find out if it was a good idea seeing Tru so soon after Faith had seduced herself into her pants. There were no guarantees she wouldn't crack and confess all to Tru. If it hadn't been for her cellphone going off then she would have come for Faith, and would have touched Faith right back in hopes of doing the same to her. That couldn't be excused and Buffy knew she was once again very much in the wrong and it weighed heavily on her.

The fact she knew for sure that it wouldn't have ended right there on the floor was enough to make her feel sick to her stomach. She had no doubt they would have quickly found their way to Faith's apartment to continue. Her body yearned for a do-over with no interrupting cellphone so they could do just that, but what a monumental mistake that would have been. At least she'd escaped with a small slither of self-respect in tact. A very small slither.

Though Buffy's driving skills lagged badly behind most of her other skills she got to LA with little fuss and in good time. Her stomach kept tying itself into knots, but she willed herself to relax. With each bout of knots came a flurry of butterflies, however, and they were harder to deal with. Mainly because she liked the butterflies as they were there for all the right reasons.

Regardless of her quicker than expected arrival it was still quite late by the time she pressed the buzzer connected to Tru's apartment. Buffy yawned and waited for an answer, her hand fiddling with her clothes in order to make herself look less wrinkled. . .and less on the verge of uber-horniness that was caused by somebody other than her new girlfriend.

"Relax, relax, relax," Buffy muttered to herself, trying to see her reflection in the chrome surround of the buzzer panel.

Her hair was a little messy in her ponytail but it would do. People told her she looked cute a little mussed, and she was definitely hoping that Tru would keep finding her cute. She didn't want to lose Tru as well as Faith.

After being let in and climbing the stairs Buffy walked her way towards Tru's door. She saw that it was slightly open, waiting for her entrance. At least she wouldn't have to knock and stand outside in the hallway. Not that the hallway wasn't nice – it was actually very nice as far as hallways go – but she didn't much like the thought of people peeping through their spy holes trying to see who it was that was visiting their neighbour so late. The thought of people guessing about them or possibly listening in later on made her shudder. Not that she was planning to make any noise or do anything noise worthy – well, not really – but the creepy feeling was still there.

Before she could push the door open the rest of the way and peek around to see where Tru was, Tru opened it wider, a beautiful smile on her face.

"Hey," she greeted, giving Buffy a quick look up and down.

It wasn't the same up 'n' down that Faith would normally give her – not being quite as obvious or sexual – but it had almost the same effect. Buffy felt her insides tighten and her heart rate picked up slightly as if readying her for something. It was normally readying her for battle with Faith, but with Tru there would be no fighting.

"So," Buffy began coyly, walking in to the apartment as Tru held the door open, "I was just passing and. . .yunno, thought I'd drop in."

Tru chuckled and Buffy felt more of her insides tighten on instinct.

"Well I'm glad you did," Tru responded, closing the door behind Buffy. "But you should know. . .my girlfriend's due to turn up any minute."

They smiled at each other and Buffy felt some of the weight lift from her shoulders. This was easier than she'd thought it would be. She'd made the right decision to come.

"I bet I'm cuter than her," Buffy joked, settling down her bag and stepping closer to Tru.

Tru furrowed her brow and cocked her head a little to the side, thinking it over.

"There's not a right way for me to answer that, huh?" she asked, her smile completely infectious.

She was right of course; Buffy was both girls, and the conversation was destined to become confusing if they continued down that path.

"Just tell me I'm cute and you're happy to see me and we'll call it quits."

"Oh you're definitely cute," Tru assured. "And I am happy to see you."

It was Tru's turn to step closer and as she did so she took Buffy's hands in her own and guided them around to her back. Buffy was instantly bathed in Tru's scent; warm clothes, shampoo and freshly shower-gelled skin. It was obvious then why she hadn't come down to greet Buffy at the main entrance. Tru had been taking a shower.

"I'm happy I came early," Buffy told her honestly, vowing to be as truthful with Tru as she could be in every way but the way that would lead to bad things if she found out about Faith. "And you smell amazing."

That was a little more honest than she'd planned and Buffy felt her cheeks redden a bit. Tru just smiled wider and closed the gap between them, kissing Buffy softly as Buffy felt herself melt in to Tru.

Their lips lingered for a long while, just enjoying each other's close proximity and the sensation of kissing. The black cloud of guilt dispersed somewhat for Buffy but she knew it would be temporary. As soon as she was given freedom to think again she'd find herself feeling bad about what she was doing by not telling Tru about Faith, and what she had done earlier. For now, with her lips delightfully caressing Tru's, the thinking could wait.

As a whole new set of feelings rumbled their way through Buffy, however, she realised they should probably stop. Her body was beginning to require more from Tru than just her lips, and it was too soon – way too soon – to be wanting that when Faith had been the last one in her panties. But damn did it feel good to be kissing Tru, all pressed against her with her hands lightly grasping tiny butt cheeks through loose cargo pants. She gave a little squeeze and Tru smiled against Buffy's lips before pulling away.

Buffy almost felt like she should apologise for being so bold, but Tru didn't seem in the least bit perturbed. In fact her own hands descended to Buffy's ass and gave it a squeeze back. Instantly Buffy wanted to kiss Tru again – preferably until they were writhing on the floor together in a pile of discarded clothes – but she had to keep her libido in check at least once today.

When it became obvious that they should either move or arrange to stand there for the rest of the night, Tru moved out of the circle of Buffy's arms, tucking her hair behind her ear as she bent to pick up Buffy's bag.

"It's late so I didn't know if you'd wanna go out or not," Tru said as she went to place the bag on her bed, leaving Buffy to try to compose herself and appear quite used to kissing girls all willy nilly and squeezing their butts.

She wasn't used to it, even though it seemed to be a new habit of hers, and she was feeling ruffled in places she never even knew she had before. Dropping to the floor and offering herself up twice in one day, for two different girls, was probably not the best way to get to heaven. She had to behave herself.

"I'm ok staying in," she said, happy just to be there.

They agreed to stay in and Tru ordered food, opening two bottles of beer for them as Buffy relaxed on the couch. So far things were going good and Buffy had been able to keep the Faith-thoughts to a minimum as they ate and chatted about normal things. It was nice just to talk about mundane daily life as opposed to demons and vampires and her ever more baffling love life. Now and then Tru asked Buffy if she was ok, which would shake her from her meandering thoughts of Faith. It might have been obvious that something wasn't quite right to anybody that knew her better, but Tru didn't know her that well yet so Buffy was able to put her mind at ease. Mostly.

Despite the few times Buffy's thoughts had wandered it became clear that it was easy being in Tru's company. She was funny and smart, and made Buffy feel comfortable in a way she rarely ever felt around anybody else. Shutting out Faith was getting easier by the minute in fact. With that thought making Buffy unwind even more she yawned widely.

"Tired?" Tru asked, her eyes smiling at Buffy in the low lamplight.

They'd been sat close, legs touching as they lounged comfortably, but no more kissing had ensued. Buffy was ok with that; she just needed to be at ease with Tru, safe and secure from anything that would make her mind do the crazy thing. She couldn't deny that she wanted to be closer to her but she was being strong, and for once she was going to stick to her guns. And for once she wasn't going to be scared.

"Yeah, I am a little tired," Buffy confessed.

She yawned again, adding a stretch as her body got ready to find some rest. Tru's gaze danced over her making Buffy stretch for that little bit longer. She liked being appreciated, and Tru's now darker eyes made her feel prettier, more wanted. It was nice to be wanted. It was nice to be wanted by somebody as gorgeous as Tru – and Faith of course, but she wasn't thinking about Faith. Buffy was doing a good job of not thinking about Faith.

"So, are you coming?" Buffy asked, glancing over to the bed by the window. "To bed," she added quickly as she felt her own cheeks flush.

Faith would have jumped all over that with crude remarks and wiggling eyebrows. Tru just smiled, her dimples making Buffy's stomach twitch just as much as crudeness would have done. Maybe more so. She wanted it to.

"I can still sleep on the couch. . .if you'd prefer," Tru said without a hint of expectation in her voice.

Buffy didn't have to think about her response to that for too long. She wanted to be close to Tru.

"No, I'd like to share, sleep with you, get snuggily," she said, trying to sound confidant and composed. "But not with the nakedness stuff," she added, just for her own piece of mind. "Yet."

Tru chuckled and nodded, taking Buffy's hand in hers and pulling her up from the couch.

"I promise I'll only get naked when you're ready," Tru assured, the hint of a grin making Buffy give a short giggle because of her own neuroses.

"I'm bad at this huh," Buffy said, shaking her head at herself.

She felt silly for being the way she was but she was still all kinds of confused; not just about liking girls and not knowing quite what to do, but about the whole twin sister thing. Life for her was never simple it seemed; always throwing her curveballs she had no clue how to hit. She knew it would be worth learning how to deal with this one, but it wasn't going to be easy, and it was probably going to turn in to one hell of a mess. But she didn't want to think about that.

Instead she concentrated on the feel of Tru's hand in her own, stroking her thumb over soft skin and deciding that she deserved this. She deserved Tru.

Buffy got washed up for bed first, pulling on a tee shirt and some shorts, instead of pyjamas that would leave her far too hot next to Tru. They were soft cotton, pink, cute, and when she walked out of the bathroom Tru's gaze once again slid over her body in a way that made Buffy feel good about herself. She didn't look at her the same way that Faith did; Faith's appreciative glances were predatory and dangerous, but Tru's were soft and subtly exciting. They had a similar effect, however, and Buffy was beginning to become addicted to enjoying them.

Once Buffy had crawled under the sheets of the bed Tru made her way in to the bathroom. Buffy wondered if they'd ever have the chance to get to the stage where they'd be brushing their teeth side by side instead of separately. It could all fall down around her ears before they reached that point and that made Buffy a little sad. She liked being there. She liked the anticipation of what would come. She felt sure about Tru in a way that she didn't about Faith – never had about Faith. Her hands wanted to reach out and cling on to this.

Settling down into the pillow Buffy took a deep breath of Tru's scent. She allowed it to wash over her and make her smile. And it did make her smile.

Tru caught her as she left the bathroom, her eyes twinkling at Buffy across the room. Buffy felt slightly embarrassed about her goofy grin but she had to allow herself to feel the way she was. If she fought with it then she'd only be left with thoughts about Faith, and she couldn't do that. She couldn't push away something good in order to take a chance on a risk that she was trying to convince herself wasn't worth it.

She continued to smile as Tru made her way towards the bed, her long dark hair tickling over her shoulders. She was wearing a loose fitting tee shirt that was small enough to reveal a cute pair of boi shorts hugging her slim hips and small backside. She was hot. Way hot. Not Faith-hot, but almost.

"Want anything from the kitchen?" Tru asked as she walked closer to the bed, Buffy's eyes roaming all over her exposed skin.

"No, I'm fine, thank you," Buffy answered, unable to stop staring.

It didn't seem like Tru was bothered by the staring; she approached the bed and flicked off the lamp on the nightstand, eliminating the only false light in the room. Enough light from the large moon outside streamed through the window to make seeing just as easy. Buffy was grateful for that as she continued to watch Tru.

She could feel herself flushing all over as Tru slid under the covers next to her, bringing her scent and body heat with her. Buffy wished any awkwardness about sex was a thing of the past; she really wanted Tru. Wanted to reach out and touch her, and feel the weight of her, the pleasure she'd get from being pressed close. But they hadn't gotten to that yet between them. It wouldn't be easy just to reach out; it would be shy and new, and scary as fuck.

Buffy tried to look away but as Tru lay down beside her their eyes locked on one another, provoking all kinds of feelings inside Buffy. She couldn't seem to get enough of those beautiful brown eyes, falling in to them and allowing herself to do so. She'd always stopped herself from looking too long in to Faith's eyes, but she let herself do this with Tru. She couldn't help but do it. She wanted to tell Tru that she was beautiful, that she was sexy, stunning, cute, adorable, perfect. But the words didn't come out; instead Buffy leaned forwards and softly brushed her lips to Tru's.

They didn't kiss for long but when Buffy pulled away they were closer in the bed, and it felt less awkward than when Tru had first gotten in. Without speaking or tying herself in knots over the situation Buffy closed her eyes and snuggled just that bit closer, smiling as Tru lifted her arm so Buffy could lay her head on it. She was grateful that Tru was happy just with the kissing and snuggling, and that she didn't make Buffy feel more weird about the situation by insisting on talking it out or edging them closer to what they'd get to in the end anyway. This was better than going too fast, even if it did mean that Buffy's body all but burned up with the insistent desire bubbling just under her skin.

The day's events had left her wound up, but this was not the time to go making anymore mistakes. She could deal. She could wait.

As they drifted off to sleep Buffy heard Tru whisper a faint goodnight and a promise that they'd do something fun tomorrow, then soft lips brushed against her forehead. Yeah, this was going to be good. And it wasn't going to be about Faith – at all. Not if Buffy could help it.

What must have been only an hour or two later Buffy's eyes slowly twitched open, easing her from her dreams as she took a few seconds to remember where she was. Her head was still resting against Tru's arm and Tru was clearly still very asleep. She glanced over at the clock on the table on Tru's side and groaned. She hated waking at stupid times at night, and she knew exactly why she'd done so tonight. She was too worked up to sleep.

At home she'd just slip out of bed, pull some clothes on, grab her stake and go hunting. But she couldn't do that here, and she couldn't attempt the other thing she'd normally try in order to fall back asleep either. Masturbating with Tru at her side was not going to happen. It was bad enough when she'd had to do it with Willow across the room in her own bed in the past, and she couldn't risk being caught. Not after telling Tru she wasn't ready for all that kinda thing.

That didn't help her situation, and the fact the covers had slipped down to pool at their waists wasn't helping either. She could see Tru clearly under the moonlight as it streamed over them. Her top had ridden up a little, revealing her stomach as she laid on her back, and a cute little bellybutton that made Buffy smile for inexplicable reasons. Tru was gorgeous - undeniably so - and Buffy wished she could rest her hand on the exposed skin before her. She wanted to feel the softness, and explore until she found the confidence to do something about the deep need inside her.

It seemed like a good idea. It seemed like a stupid idea. And it appeared that Buffy had made her mind up without her full consent as she slowly moved her hand towards Tru.

As lightly as possible, Buffy let her fingertips glance over Tru's stomach. She shivered as she touched Tru's warm skin, holding her breath, not knowing if she wanted Tru to wake up or not. It was probably best she stayed asleep, but then that would make Buffy a giant pervert for practically feeling her up as she lay fast asleep beside her. And feeling her up was becoming more of a possibility as her hand travelled slowly upwards, not content with staying on Tru's stomach. As she felt each rise and fall of Tru's breath Buffy inched higher, the flat of her palm enjoying the silky feel of the girl before her. She'd never touched anything that seemed so delicate, so soft and alluring.

Letting her hands run over a guy came nowhere close to this in terms of excitement and desire. The men she'd been with – not that she'd touched many at all in this way – were all big, with hair in places that made her far from excited. Tru was small and her skin was amazingly smooth, even where the slight dusting of goose bumps rippled up in Buffy's wake. She knew she should stop before she went too far, but she couldn't. As her fingertips reached the swell of Tru's breast she felt compelled to continue. Her body and the longing inside that had been welling to this point pushed her on, whispering a silent ballad of seduction with promises of discovery and pleasure that would go beyond any she'd ever had.

Shifting herself subtly so she was leaning over Tru just a little, Buffy's eyes followed the path of her hand as Tru's top travelled upwards as she went. She licked her lips, desperate to lean down and taste the skin on show; no matter how inexperienced she was, no matter how worried about the outcome. Her resolve not to go too fast was being severely tested and her lungs were screaming for air as she held herself steady, trying not to breathe too fast. When her fingers began to chart the lush flesh of the breast she'd settled on Buffy felt the evidence of her desire trickle out between her legs.

Once again today she was soaked. Once again she was ready to take a step she'd been sure she could avoid in her need for control. She had no control in this, and Tru was beginning to wake up.

Buffy's hand stilled on Tru's breast just before she reached the peak of a nipple she could see was taut and ready for her. Tru's tee shirt was tight enough to see that and it had only helped to urge her on.

"Buffy?" Tru mumbled sleepily, her eyes blinking open.

Buffy didn't know whether she should pull her hand away and apologise or pretend to be asleep. She'd been so caught up in just touching Tru that she hadn't thought far enough ahead to the possibility of having to explain herself. The fact that Tru wasn't struggling away or removing Buffy's hand went a little way to easing her mind, but she was still worried she may have just completely overstepped the mark.

"Sorry," Buffy whispered, moving her hand slightly as if to take it away, not really wanting to move it anywhere but further up.

Tru looked up in to Buffy's eyes, heavy lidded and not quite fully awake.

"It's ok," she said, the hint of a smile playing at her full lips.

Fingers lightly drifted over Buffy's arm in encouragement as Tru's chest rose and fell a little quicker, edging Buffy's fingers towards their goal. She was nervous, unsure, and certain that this was probably the wrong time to do what they seemed to be doing, but Buffy was powerless to stop herself. Looking in to Tru's eyes she pushed up under the tee shirt ruffled around her wrist, and allowed her fingers to reach the hard nipple straining towards her touch.

"Buffy," Tru sighed, the word tumbling from her mouth as she closed her eyes.

For a few seconds Buffy wondered if it would feel as good to be touching Faith in this way. If Faith's reactions would be the same. If Faith's skin would feel as warm and as silky-smooth. Would it have her burning in the way she was now, or more so?

She tried not to think about it, tried as hard as she could, taking a deep breath in order to shove the comparisons from her head. It wasn't fair to compare, it wasn't fair at all.

Tru's hand made its way up to Buffy's shoulder, holding her lightly as Buffy rubbed over her in soft circles. She'd never felt another girl's breasts in this way, or any way for that matter, and her insides were quivering with a mix of exhilaration and fear. When Tru licked her lips Buffy pulled a little on her nipple, causing a quiet gasp to focus their eyes back on one another. Buffy wanted more. She'd come this far and her body was on fire, her need more than evident between her legs.

Continuing to play with Tru's eager nipple Buffy closed the small gap between them. She couldn't stay away from those gorgeous lips much longer. Struggling not to remember how Faith's lips had kissed her so perfectly earlier Buffy brought her mouth to Tru's, teasing at her lips before slipping her tongue inside. They both sighed as their tongues lapped at each other lazily; the heat between them intensifying as Buffy massaged Tru's breasts thoroughly, moving from one to the other as she became more confident.

The wet, inviting softness of Tru's mouth stole any hope from Buffy about pulling away and stopping the inevitable. It was inevitable, and she needed this. She needed to take what she was yearning for. Even though the image of Faith kept trying to boot its way into her brain she was determined to continue - as long as Tru had no objections. And going by the fact she was now pushing up in to Buffy's hand and moaning quietly, Buffy doubted there would be any objections at all.

She moved her lips over Tru's jaw and down to her neck, enjoying the taste of her skin and the sounds that Tru made. Every reaction turned Buffy on more. Every subtle movement of Tru's hips as she searched for contact intriguing her and intensifying the moment.

"Buffy," Tru sighed again, her hand finding its way into Buffy's hair as the arm around her pulled her closer. "Are you sure you wanna. . ."

The remaining words were cut off by a shuddering moan as Buffy's leg dropped between Tru's. Tru moaned again as Buffy pressed down just enough to feel warm wetness against her thigh.

"Oh God," Buffy mumbled into Tru's neck, every muscle tensing in anticipation and need.

Tru was so wet and Buffy wanted more than just to feel it through the material of her shorts. She'd missed the chance earlier of feeling Faith in the same way – dripping over her fingers – and she didn't want to miss the opportunity again. Every inch of her told her to take what was clearly on offer.

"I'm sure," Buffy said, kissing her way back to Tru's lips.

Buffy could hardly recognise her own voice. It was thick and heavy with seduction, her desire obvious in more ways than one.

Lips met one another again, tongues exploring, teeth scraping. Buffy pulled Tru's lower lip between her own and sucked causing Tru to push her hips upwards, grinding in to Buffy's thigh and spreading her arousal over her skin.

"I wanna. . .I wanna touch you," Buffy said with a slight quiver to her voice.

She didn't know how exactly, or if she'd be any good but she had to have Tru. Her fingers itched to explore and she felt an incessant throb between her legs that demanded attention.

Tru pulled her down once again in to a deep kiss, deeper than before, and swept her hands over Buffy's back. Buffy found the thigh between her own legs and rocked against it, tingling in all the places that felt good as their breasts smooshed together and their bodies found a rhythm. She couldn't recall ever being so turned on – expect for maybe earlier that day, but that was a different kind of turned on and it had been tainted by too much guilt and the "warning, imminent danger ahead" alarms in her head.

"You can," Tru assured as the kiss broke apart. "You can touch me, Buffy."

With a groan born of pure lust Buffy crashed them back together again, sweeping her tongue in to Tru's mouth and sliding her hand down across Tru's taut stomach. She knew what she wanted to do and just the thought of it had her trembling with desire, but she'd never done this before. She'd come close with Faith, but there had been too many other emotions and feelings crashing around inside her then for fear and worry to get a look in. She had more room to think with Tru, and it was obvious that the thinking was bad. Clearly it was, because it was leading her to thoughts of Faith instead of what was at hand. . .literally.

Even though she was surprising herself with how hungrily and freely she was kissing Tru and had so far explored, they'd reached a point where things were about to go a whole lot further. Buffy grew a little more tentative as she worried about how she was going to do what she so desperately wanted to do. With Faith it wouldn't be a problem as Faith would just take charge and she could be swept up on the wave of desire, but with Tru she wasn't going to be over-powered, nor did she want to be. Buffy wanted to be the one to take Tru instead of the other way around. She didn't know why for sure, but perhaps it had something to do with knowing she wouldn't have that chance with Faith.

It always came back to Faith.

"Can we. . .be more naked?" Buffy asked a little shyly, chuckling as she recalled their earlier conversation.

Tru chuckled along with her, the throaty sound making Buffy dance inside.

"Definitely," Tru answered with a nod.

Buffy smiled and moved off Tru enough to tug at her top, her stomach tightening as Tru's breasts bounced out of their confines. She threw Tru's tee shirt to the side without taking her eyes off her, all her blood rushing downwards as the throb intensified. She only just about had the presence of mind to realise that Tru was also trying to take her top off, so she lifted her arms, helping whilst also trying not to lose the contact they still had.

It was hot and sticky and Buffy was glad to have a little less material in-between her and the air, but mostly she was glad to have less between her and Tru. She made sure not to stop at just their tops, pushing aside any lingering embarrassment or awkwardness in favour of feeling more of Tru against her. She needed their bodies closer, sliding against each other in ways she'd never done before. A flickering memory of the dream she'd had spurred her on.

Her hand slid down Tru's body, muscles tensing to her touch as she found the top of the boi shorts that she knew were soaked. Tru looked up at Buffy with trust and longing in her eyes, penetrating Buffy with their rich and passionate intensity. Buffy blinked, trying not to see Faith in her head, trying not to wish it were Faith; Faith's hands trailing over her and down towards her waistband, Faith's butt rising from the bed in order to allow Buffy to slide her shorts off, Faith's body begging her to touch it, fuck it, hold it forever.

Buffy closed her eyes and wished Faith away as she tugged Tru's underwear off and allowed her own to follow suit. Tru's hands swept over her thighs, hips, sides, up to her breasts as Buffy hung over her. If she kept her eyes closed she could pretend it was Faith. If she kept her eyes closed she'd be lost forever, no going back, her heart tumbling for Faith all over again.

Without questioning herself Buffy opened her eyelids in a flash, looking deep into brown eyes as Tru's hands moved over her breasts in just the right way to make her sigh in pleasure. Biting her lower lip Buffy enjoyed every sensation she was feeling as Tru kissed her way down to her chest. Holding herself over Tru, a little to her side, Buffy allowed Tru to kiss over her breasts and nipples. She grasped at the sheet below them as Tru sucked and licked, making Buffy a quivering wreck.

"Oh that's good," Buffy moaned, releasing the sheet in favour of tangling her fingers into Tru's long, brown hair.

Tru scraped her teeth over Buffy's nipple, not too hard but enough to strip away any of Buffy's doubts. She encouraged Tru back to her lips, kissing her hungrily as she lowered herself. Both girls moaned in pleasure as they made contact again; their skin hot against each other, hands exploring and sensations escalating. The feel of Tru's body pressed against her own made Buffy glow from head to foot. This was amazing. It felt amazing.

They moved against each other and Buffy could feel just how wet Tru was against her thigh. She pressed in to the soft place between Tru's legs, her own arousal coating Tru in just the same way. Their hips fell into a rhythm and Buffy realised she wouldn't last very long if they kept going. She'd been close once before today so she could only take so much before popping like warm champagne all over Tru. There needed to be more touching, however. She wanted more. Wanted what had been denied her earlier.

Buffy slowly pushed a hand between them, moving over Tru's stomach as she gave herself just enough room to manoeuvre. Her heart was racing and her skin sweaty, every breath she took full of Tru's scent; Tru's heat and arousal making her dizzy as it enveloped her in the promise of ecstasy. Tru was breathing heavy and fast and she shuddered as Buffy's fingers finally slid between her legs, into the wetness waiting for her.

Appreciative noises drifted from both of them as Buffy's fingers slipped over Tru's pussy, covering them both in her sticky juices. She couldn't quite believe she was doing this, but there was no way she could stop now. Tru felt so good. Her pussy was all squishy and soaked and Buffy felt like she was getting high on the scent of it.

"Oh, Buffy," Tru gasped as Buffy circled her clit.

Buffy may not have had any experience with another woman, but she wasn't stupid. She knew where to touch. She knew basically what would feel good. She knew she'd give it her best shot so that Tru would come for her. That still didn't mean she felt completely confident but Tru knew that, and Buffy felt strangely comfortable with learning this with her despite all the reasons she shouldn't be. Listening to each sigh and gasp she soon learned just what Tru liked, moving her fingers over her slowly then quickly, pressing down on her swollen clit. Every sensual moan and roll of Tru's hips made Buffy's stomach flip, a deep longing inside clawing its way through the fear, and through the guilt.

She loved the way Tru's wetness coated her fingers. The way it sounded and smelled. The way she'd quiver as Buffy drifted lower, teasing the source of that wetness, though not yet daring to enter her fully. One step at a time.

Before she realised that Tru had even moved she felt fingers sliding through her own arousal, spreading her pussy lips and finding her aching clit. A gasp shot out of Buffy and her mind unravelled. She closed her eyes and dropped her head to Tru's shoulder, moving against the fingers rubbing over her. Her thoughts wandered as she found herself unable to focus on anything but the touching, the heat at her fingers and the pressure on her own clit. Her skin slid slickly against Tru, lips carelessly placing open mouthed kisses wherever she could reach; tasting, savouring, wishing.

Wishing this was somewhere else, with somebody else. Wishing her first experience – her first real, full experience – with a girl was with Faith.

"Oh," Buffy gasped as they both sped up their movements. "Oh God. . ."

She caught herself before she said the wrong name, hating that she wasn't strong enough to only think about Tru. She knew if she was the noble, self-righteous, moralistic person she'd always believed herself to be. . .she would stop this. Stop it before she came thinking of Faith instead of the sweet girl who didn't deserve a girlfriend that had lied and fooled her into a relationship. But she couldn't stop. She needed release.

"Buffy," Tru moaned, her body twitching as Buffy's fingers assaulted her clit. "Don't stop."

Buffy made herself focus. Her lips latched on to Tru's neck, kissing and sucking as she worked her fingers even quicker, a little harder.

"Am I doing it ok?" Buffy asked breathlessly, feeling herself flushing at the question.

"Oh fuck, yes," Tru sighed, every other breath a moan or gasp as she got closer to the edge. "I'm gonna come, Buffy."

Buffy smiled against heated skin, fighting back the disappointment that it wasn't Faith telling her that. It wasn't Faith making her feel so good, as she did the same back. It wasn't Faith. . .but her mind was playing tricks. As she lost control of herself into Tru's touch, feeling herself release, she repeated Faith's name over and over in her head.

"Oh, oh fuck," Buffy breathed, biting down on her lip to stop more words coming out.

She didn't want to yell out Faith's name. The thought was cruel enough.

"So good, Buffy," Tru cried out, her hips jerking up into Buffy as she came, sending Buffy flying over the edge with her.

"Fuck!"

They trembled together, clinging, breathing hard, juices spurting hot and plentiful from their quivering pussies. Buffy buried her face into Tru's hair, every inch of her tensing as she came; hard and hot.

Still not trusting herself to keep from saying something stupid Buffy tried to catch her breath. Her body was buzzing, her skin wet, her pussy convulsing and sending trickles of come over Tru's fingers as she kept them hovering close to her hole. She moved her own fingers, feeling the stickiness and the pulsing aftershocks inside Tru that made Buffy instantly want more.

She wanted more. She wanted it all night, but she'd been so close to calling out Faith's name instead of Tru's; she knew right away that they'd done this too soon. She wasn't over Faith being back. She wasn't over Faith at all. Not for this. Not when it came to fucking her identical twin. She still had to deal with her feelings for Faith if this was going to be what she wanted it to be. She had to have more control.

Slumping to Tru's side Buffy plucked her fingers from the inviting warmth she wished she could play in all night. Tru smiled and pulled Buffy's leg up over her, her hands moving round to Buffy's back to hold her close as they both basked in the afterglow.

"That was so. . ." Tru sighed contentedly, her fingers making little patterns over Buffy's skin as they cooled off. "Was that seriously your first time?"

Buffy couldn't help but smile, pulling the covers over them and snuggling closer to Tru, finding it easier not to think about Faith now the deed was done.

"Yeah," she replied a little shyly. "First time with a girl," she lied, purposefully not thinking about how she'd almost had her first time with Faith.

That didn't count. Not really. She needed it not to count.

Tru made another contented sound and Buffy felt proud, her muscles and mind relaxing together as she closed her eyes.

"That was definitely. . .wow," Buffy agreed, pretending not to notice the little devil on her shoulder telling her that it wasn't close to what Faith could have done for her.

It'd been good. More than good. And she wanted more, but not now. Not until she could control her mind and that pesky little devil.

"Sleepy now," Buffy mumbled into a tumble of brown hair.

She felt a soft kiss on her lips and pressed back, happy she was with Tru despite her own confusion. Happy that she could look in to Tru's eyes the way she was and see warmth and kindness, and not fury and danger. She didn't want to be anywhere else right then. She wasn't trying to fool herself, it was true. Buffy really did feel happy.

Happy to settle down into Tru's arms and sleep, knowing she'd be there when she woke. Knowing that she'd be good for her. This was better than nothing, or the alternative. This was better than fighting.

Before closing her eyes for the last time that night Buffy kissed Tru's forehead and whispered a thank you, smiling as Tru answered with a sleepy, unintelligible mumble.

This could be perfect. If perfect meant almost.

TBC…


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Sunlight streamed in through the large window to the right of the bed, warming Buffy, but not more so than the girl snuggled into her on her left. Tru's head was resting mostly on Buffy's chest, wavy brown hair draped over her and tickling at her skin as she breathed. A smile drifted over Buffy's lips and she held Tru a little tighter with the arm around her back. That's when she noticed the pins and needles in said arm. Scrunching up her brow Buffy wriggled her fingers. She must have had her arm wrapped around Tru for quite some time for it to have fallen asleep. She didn't really mind, but she needed to move it.

"Tru," Buffy said quietly, pushing back a tumble of dark hair away from Tru's face with her other hand.

If she kept the hair where it was she could almost pretend that it was Faith pressed into her with their legs tangled together. But Faith would never be a snuggler. She'd never allow herself to be held so tenderly, or be so vulnerable.

"Tru," Buffy whispered again.

Tru mumbled against her skin, her body slowly waking as Buffy stroked her short fingernails over her back. Images of the previous night skittered across her mind as Tru's thigh moved against her between her legs as she shifted slightly. Morning sex wasn't something Buffy had much experience with – Angel had been too busy eating his way through Sunnydale, she'd woken alone with Parker, and Riley. . .well, she'd never actually wanted it with him – but something was stirring inside her, and it didn't take a genius to figure it out.

Tru mumbled against Buffy again as Buffy tried to ignore the tingling in her arm so she could concentrate on the tingling in her groin. They'd spent the rest of the night together completely naked; skin on skin, breasts against breasts, legs tangled and private places not so private anymore. It felt so intimate and. . .well, nice. She thought she could quickly get all kinds of addicted to waking up this way.

So what if people would start calling her mean names and expect her to shave her head and wear flannel shirts everyday; she liked this. She really liked being with another girl. And anyway, those old stereotypes didn't hold much water these days. She knew plenty of lesbians who didn't look butch or wear 'gay clothes'. Actually, she didn't know many lesbians at all, for sure – besides Willow, Tara, Tru and possibly Faith – which was actually quite a few now she came to think of it, but that was beside the point. The point being, if this was who she was then she couldn't feel bad about it given the fact she got to be tangled up with such a gorgeous girl like Tru. She could live with the consequences.

As Tru blinked open her eyes and pushed unruly locks behind her ears she lifted her head to look at Buffy.

"I'm sorry," Tru said sleepily, the morning husk to her voice making Buffy sparkle inside. "Didn't mean to squash you."

Buffy smiled and placed an unexpected kiss on Tru's head. Unexpected because she hadn't planned on doing it – her mouth had just found its own way there.

"You're not," Buffy assured.

They shared a smile and Buffy felt the flush of arousal as well as a slight undercurrent of nervousness. She'd never done the morning-after thing with another girl after all, and even though it hadn't seemed like she'd performed badly with Tru last night she still had a niggling worry. She always wanted to be her best.

Tru yawned and lifted off Buffy a little way, enough for Buffy to move her arm some more to get complete feeling back. She didn't let Tru go too far, however, happy to keep the contact between them that was making her feel all warm and tingly. Thankfully Tru didn't get up altogether, ensuring Buffy got plenty of snuggles in before they would eventually have to leave the bed.

After a little small talk about their plans for the day and some lazy morning kisses, they finally left the comfort of the bed, stretching and looking for their discarded clothes. Buffy felt a bit shy about being naked and held the sheet up to her as she found her shorts and then her tee shirt, but Tru was a little less reserved. She pulled her underwear on and then stood up, topless and stunning as she lifted her arms to shake out her long, dark mane, every toned muscle rippling, and boobs standing proud.

Buffy licked her lips and found herself unable to take her eyes off Tru. It was like watching a half naked Faith with a little more weight on her bones, and her stomach did back-flips upon summersaults and butterflies as she reacted on instinct.

Closing her eyes to regain composure Buffy chastised herself for once again thinking about Faith. She had to stop that. She desperately wanted to.

"Do you want the shower first?" Tru asked.

Buffy opened her eyes again and groaned internally – Tru was still half naked, and Jesus was she hot. It took all of Buffy's willpower to pry her gaze away from her perky nipples so she could actually look at Tru in the eye, and it must have been pretty obvious given Tru's grin.

"It's ok, you can go first," Buffy replied, finding her voice a little shaky as her body screamed at her to pounce across the bed on to Tru.

Tru gave her a sweet smile and bounced into the bathroom, Buffy's eyes glued to her butt as she went. If she were feeling braver she'd follow Tru in and shower right along side her, amongst other things, but she wasn't feeling that brave about the situation yet. That didn't mean that staying put and imagining Tru getting all soapy and wet was the easier option, however. It left her all flustered with her pervy thoughts.

Sighing dreamily and laying back on the soft bed temporarily – instantly enjoying the mixed aroma of the scents they'd made together that night – Buffy smiled to herself and chuckled at the turn her life had made. Though a lot of it was all messed up and crazy, this part - just being with Tru, wanting her and feeling safe with her - was pretty damn good.

"Mmm, sexy smell," Buffy hummed to herself as she lifted the sheets around her, immersing herself in Tru's scent.

She dropped the blanket back to the bed quickly - almost guiltily - as she heard the chirping of her cellphone from her bag. She hoped it was just her mother fussing about where she was and if she was safe. She'd be easy to trick; Buffy had spent most of her teen years bending the truth around her mother after all.

Answering quickly, Buffy sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes glued to the bathroom door.

It was Giles. Not good.

He told her they needed her back in Sunnydale, pronto. Faith had found a vamp nest that looked like it was planning an all out attack on the area it was right in the middle of, and she needed help. Giles sounded worried, and despite Buffy wanting to grumble at him about deserving some time-out time, she couldn't really get out of going back to help – he thought she was in LA on another mission that didn't involve getting wriggly with another girl. She couldn't risk him calling Angel and finding out she wasn't actually there with him. Buffy was left with no other choice. Her duty in Sunnydale came before everything else. Giles made sure to remind her of that duty.

"Angel will have to deal with his own demons – no ulterior meaning intended," he said firmly.

Buffy lied, again, and told him she'd slayed his big bad so she could head back. There was no other way around it, and she certainly didn't want Giles and Angel catching up and finding out she was a big fat liar.

"So. Not. Fair," she grumbled, throwing the cellphone back into her bag once he'd hung up.

"What's not fair?" Tru asked as she left the bathroom accompanied by a cloud of steam.

The tiny towel Tru barely had wrapped around herself made Buffy want to cry with frustration. She did not want to leave. She wanted to pull Tru towards her and unwrap her so she could be a tasty treat. Feeling her clit twitch as water dripped from Tru's wet hair, trickling over her shoulders and down into her cleavage, Buffy decided she must have a curse on her. Much like Angel's, Buffy's 'happy' obviously came with a penalty too.

She explained to Tru that she had to go, blaming a family emergency. It was obvious that Tru was sad she couldn't stay, but she didn't get sulky or mad. Her understanding and compassion made for a rather nasty ball of guilt to strike Buffy in her stomach. Tru was being so nice, yet Buffy had done nothing but deceive and lead her on so far. And now it totally felt like she was taking a leaf out of Faith's book with a bit of "get some, get gone" action.

The whole situation she'd gotten herself into was truly awful, but stupidly. . .she knew she'd keep digging the hole she was digging, with gusto.

After kissing Tru goodbye for several long minutes, which turned into several more long minutes of groping and ravishing that had Buffy's legs shaking, she set off back to Sunnydale. Buffy felt her annoyance levels getting higher with every mile that passed. She'd really needed this weekend with Tru in order to bury the thoughts about Faith. Also, she was getting more and more suspicious about the so called vamp nest Faith was apparently worried about tackling alone. It didn't seem right. Something was amiss.

By the time she pulled in to Giles' drive Buffy was practically seething, for various different reasons. She was going to miss out on more Tru-smoochies and hot sex. She felt – in her gut – that the vamp nest was just a figment of Faith's imagination. And she'd come to the conclusion that Faith had totally taken advantage of her the day before.

Faith had used Buffy's guilt against her, pushing all of her buttons and getting her way because Buffy felt bad for not having told her about Tru. It was obvious now that she'd thought about it, with added irritation and disbelief. Faith was up to her old tricks, and even if Buffy wasn't in the right herself. . .it wasn't as if she'd done it all on purpose. Faith certainly had done what she had on purpose; you don't go sticking your hand in to somebody's pants by accident.

They were going to talk about it, and Buffy wasn't going to let Faith act all 'better' than her. The situation needed to be dealt with, but first she'd do her duty like a good little slayer, and then sulk for a while about losing her Tru-filled weekend.

Busy thinking about what she was going to say to Faith, Buffy knocked on Giles' door. She expected everybody to be there planning and preparing for the vamp nest she'd been called back to help with. There was no sound coming from the other side of the door, however, and when Giles finally answered – unhurriedly – she knew exactly what he was going to say.

"Ah, Buffy," he said. "Did nobody call you?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "Yes, somebody called me. You. This morning. To come and help," she said slowly, emphasising each word as her anger threatened to boil over.

"Yes indeed," he responded, scratching at the back of his neck as he held a steaming cup of tea in his other hand, "but Faith. . ."

"Don't tell me," Buffy interrupted, "Faith dealt with it."

He sheepishly looked down at his slippered feet, and then pushed his glasses back up his nose as their eyes met again.

"She did," he confirmed. "And I advised her to call you so that you would know there was no rush to get back."

"But she didn't," Buffy pointed out.

"Clearly," he murmured. "Maybe she wasn't able to get hold of you. I'm sure she wouldn't. . ."

"Be a total bitch and have me trail all the way back for nothing?" Buffy interjected, practically stomping her foot. "That's just great."

He pushed at his glasses again, trying to glance over her shoulder to check out the health of his car without being too obvious.

"The car is fine, Giles," Buffy assured curtly. "Faith on the other hand. . .won't be when I've finished with her."

She turned on her heel and headed back to the street, faintly catching Giles asking her not to do anything rash, and to hear Faith out. He seemed sure it was a misunderstanding. He also seemed puzzled about why she was so upset considering she'd already finished helping Angel in LA.

Buffy didn't bother to turn around and answer him, gripping her bag with white knuckles and storming off down the street. It wasn't until five minutes later that she wished she'd hung around long enough to ask Giles for a lift. She wasn't going to go back and make her exit look anything less than called for, however. She'd just have to walk to her dorm. It wasn't far at least.

Once she'd reached the campus Buffy had imagined all kinds of confrontations with Faith, ranging from yelling at her so badly it caused Faith to cry, pushing her into a puddle, beating her up. . .and then kissing away her booboos, to just not talking to her at all. Each scenario got her more and more edgy, irritable, and horny. And horny was not a good state to be in as she planned to make sure Faith knew there could be nothing between them. She was sure of that and Faith would just have to listen and not be all "But it's me you want," and "Ooooh look, I'm so sexy and hot, and here. . .feel my boobs."

No, Buffy was going to do this right. No more Faith. She never again wanted to be having sex with her girlfriend and thinking about Faith. It was wrong.

After dropping off her bag and searching for Willow it didn't take long for her to realise nobody was around. Her best friend wasn't in any of her usual places, and she wasn't answering her phone. Xander wasn't at home according to his answering machine either. Walking away from the dorm Willow shared with Tara she was left with only one option: to go to Faith's apartment and have it out with her.

When she finally arrived at Faith's apartment Buffy felt a string of different emotions. She hadn't been there for a very long time – since the fight. Since stabbing Faith in the gut there. The place looked the same on the outside; the grays of the building looking drab and lifeless, speckled by bright lights from the large windows. It wasn't a fancy place and wasn't in a great neighbourhood, but the apartments weren't cheap. They were for trendy people who didn't mind living in the warehouse district in order to indulge in open plan living and the feeling that they were far from suburbia. Faith fit in well amongst the residents; young, different, out of place anywhere but there.

Buffy was glad to see they hadn't had a buzzer system installed. She didn't want to have to ask for an invite in; she'd never needed it before. She wanted to see Faith on her own terms, in her own time.

Climbing the steps to Faith's top floor apartment she recalled another time she'd paid a surprise visit. The knife had practically vibrated inside her jacket that day, eager to prove a point to Faith. A very sharp and deadly point. Murder hadn't been on Buffy's mind that day, but the slayer inside her had other plans. She'd given in to the deep urges inside, unable to hold back when the knife had plunged in to Faith. The memory made Buffy wince. She grasped the railing and stopped on the stairs, looking up towards the closed door of Faith's home at the top.

Her heart started to bounce in her chest making Buffy feel light-headed – just like last time, but for different reasons. She cocked her head, listening for movement. It had been loud music last time; pounding beats that had called Buffy forward. This time she heard giggling, and talking. Faith wasn't alone.

Buffy sighed as she recognized Willow's voice, followed by Xander's. It soon became obvious why she hadn't been able to find anybody; they were all here. Her anger bubbled up, resentment making her fists clench as she realised for sure she'd been played. There had never been a problem Faith had needed help with; she'd just wanted Buffy to miss out on her time with Tru. And she also probably wanted Buffy to see just how easily her friends had accepted her this time around.

She almost turned around and left them to it but a loud bang and a crashing noise from inside the apartment made her far too curious for her own good.

"What the hell are they doing in there?" she muttered.

Rolling her eyes at herself for not just leaving, Buffy traipsed up the rest of the stairs, trying not to scowl too much - she didn't want her friends turning on her. If they were all now on Faith's side she'd have to try to play nice. Slowly lifting her hand she knocked on the door and waited. She fidgeted, pulled at her clothes, ran her hand through her hair, wished she'd changed into something cuter than jeans and sweater. Buffy wasn't good at waiting.

Thankfully she didn't need to wait long. The door opened revealing a house full of enthusiastic people all crowded around a very large TV. Hardly even noticing Faith standing to the side waiting for Buffy to speak or enter, Buffy took in the sight of all her friends having fun. . .without her.

"You gonna come in or just stand there gawpin', B?" Faith asked, finally getting Buffy's attention.

Buffy glanced at her as she stood holding the door open with an amused look on her face. A tingle worked its way through Buffy as she recalled her night with Tru in which she'd thought about Faith; the memory of heated bodies and soft, wet places she'd discovered making her fight back a blush.

"I. . .I wanted to talk. . ." Buffy stuttered before shaking her head and getting control of herself in case Faith took the opportunity to get the upper hand. "I'm pissed at you, Faith. Seriously pissed."

She stomped into the apartment, all but ignoring the friendly waves and hellos of her friends as they turned momentarily from the TV to acknowledge her entrance. They were playing a game on some console or other; Buffy didn't know which or what game it was and she didn't much care.

Spinning around to face Faith as she closed the door Buffy gave her a menacing stare. It didn't have the desired effect and Faith breezed past her towards the couch beyond.

"Faith, I said I'm pissed at you," Buffy repeated.

"Yeah, I heard."

Faith shrugged and picked up a bottle of beer from the small table by her couch, watching as Willow excitedly hammered on her controller with Tara cheering her on and Xander trying to put her off. Faith added her own words of encouragement and Buffy thought they all looked like a fun gang. But. . .they were meant to be her gang.

She folded her arms and cleared her throat. Nobody but Faith turned her way, though Willow did throw her a slightly guilty smile.

"Faith, what the hell?" Buffy growled.

Faith raised an eyebrow and chugged down her beer, making Buffy's eyes water just watching her. She placed the empty bottle back on the table and stepped a little closer to Buffy.

"There a problem?" Faith asked.

This wasn't how it was meant to go. Buffy wasn't even sure what to say or if it was her place to say anything; Faith had taken the wind out of her sails with her detached attitude and room full of new found friends. Buffy was the one who felt intimidated and that so hadn't been the plan when she'd marched up the stairs.

"Can we talk outside?" Buffy asked as she glanced around, suddenly aware that open plan living didn't leave much room for privacy as Tara looked over at them, appearing worried.

Faith didn't answer right away, taking a slow breath as she gave Buffy a lingering look. There may have been a flicker of anxiety in Faith's brown eyes but Buffy wasn't sure. Maybe Faith was remembering the last time – not including the slayer dream they'd shared – that they were in the apartment together. Not much talking had happened that night.

Holding herself stiffly Faith answered, "We can talk here, B. What's the drama?"

Sighing and crossing her arms over her chest, trying to ignore the increasing number of glances their way from the other people in the room, Buffy attempted to rein in her anger. Despite the fact she felt like kicking Faith's ass – just because - her friends didn't need to see them take a backwards slide.

"Why did you have me come all the way back here? What happened to the nest? What the hell were you thinking?" Buffy shot.

Faith stepped closer again, urging Buffy to move a little further away from the main living area.

"You were so slow in gettin' here I dealt with it, Twinkie," Faith explained calmly. "I thought I was gonna need help. . .guess I was wrong."

"That's it? You guess you were wrong?"

Faith shrugged and Buffy swore she could see the beginnings of a smug smile flit across Faith's features, but it never fully materialized.

"You did it on purpose," Buffy continued, then much quieter guessed, "You knew I'd be with Tru this weekend so you made something up to get me back here."

Once again Faith's face betrayed her apparent stoicism, the hint of guilt making her lips tighten and her brow twitch.

"You can think what you want, B," Faith responded. "It's kind of a habit of yours anyway. That and doing what the fuck you want to whoever you want."

Buffy opened her mouth but nothing came out other than a small breath that could have been mistaken for a gasp. She looked over Faith's shoulder to make sure nobody else had heard them, saying a silent thank you when it appeared that her friends were pretty much oblivious to the exchange.

She wanted to yell and tell Faith she wasn't being fair and that it had been a shitty thing to do – getting her to run out on Tru and their weekend together – but she couldn't. She couldn't claim the moral high ground with Faith knowing that she was doing something even worse. Knowing that Faith probably had more right to be mad than she did, especially after the incident in the Magic Box.

Holding everything in, Buffy shook her head, desperate to put Faith down but unable to do it. They'd have to talk about it later, in a more private setting, and once Buffy had figured out a way to make it sound like she wasn't the one who needed to apologize all the time.

"We'll talk about this later, Faith," Buffy said. "Alone."

"Sure thing. Alone sounds good to me, B."

Faith winked and the naughty little smile she gave Buffy made it quite clear what was going through her mind.

"Not that kind of alone," Buffy said under her breath, brushing past Faith and catching Willow's eye.

She ignored the disbelieving chuckle from Faith and made her way over to her friends, nodding to Willow to indicate that she needed to speak with her.

"Hey, Buffster," Xander said as she approached. "Come to join in the fun?"

He waved his controller, or joystick or whatever it was at her, smiling broadly as if there was no tension in the room at all. She supposed he couldn't feel the tension, or he was happy to remain oblivious, or perhaps he was just pretending it wasn't there in the hopes it would just go away so they could all get along. Xander didn't like any bad feeling amongst the group; his home life was bad enough.

"Um, sure," Buffy replied with a nod as Faith strode past her and handed her a bottle.

She looked at the bright label adorning the bottle of beer, wrinkling her nose at it; she preferred the brand Tru kept in her apartment.

"I just need to talk to Willow a minute," she continued.

Willow's eyes went comically wide as she turned her head towards Buffy. No doubt she knew what was coming; questions on her little hiccup with Faith about Tru. She handed her controller to Tara, who handed it to Faith as if it were a ticking bomb she didn't know what to do with.

"Looks like it's me and you, Xan," Faith said enthusiastically, jumping down onto some pillows in front of the TV that had no reason to be that big. "Get ready for a whuppin'."

Buffy watched as two little men on the screen started hitting each other. Clearly none of them got enough violence in their day to day lives; they also felt the need to attack things even in their down-time. Shaking her head and wandering over to the kitchen area with Willow following, Buffy felt Faith's eyes all over her despite the fact she was trying to convince Xander she was giving the game her full attention. It was kind of creepy, but also. . .somewhat of a turn on. But she couldn't feel that. Had to stop feeling that.

As soon as they were nestled away in the corner of the kitchen, the sounds of the video game drowning them out somewhat, Willow gave Buffy her most apologetic expression; lips down-turned and little nose all wrinkled with worry.

"Buffy, I'm sorry," she said before Buffy could say anything. "I know I messed up, but I didn't mean to. I so didn't mean to, Faith's just. . .well, she's all wile-y and intimidating and before I knew it I'd told her more than I'd meant to."

Buffy waited for Willow to pause for a breath before commenting.

"I really could have done without it, Will," Buffy said under her breath.

She knew she should have been shouting, or pointing, possibly both, but Buffy couldn't escape the fact she'd dug her own hole and was now falling to the bottom of it at an exponentially ridiculous rate. She'd made her own bed and wasn't just laying in it; she was rolling around naked in it. The fault was all her own.

"I'm sorry," Willow repeated, grasping at her own hands and wringing them anxiously.

"Just promise me you won't tell anybody else. Not until I'm ready."

Buffy doubted she'd ever be ready, and thinking about how Tru was going to react to finding out about Faith gave her palpitations.

Willow nodded. "I promise."

There really wasn't anything more that Buffy could ask for. Too many people already knew about Tru but she had to trust that Willow wouldn't blab to anybody else, and also trust that Faith would keep it to herself. Trusting Faith with that wasn't going to be easy, but what choice did she have?

"This is such a mess," Buffy muttered, then more clearly asked Willow, "How have you all accepted her back so easily?"

She glanced over at Faith, seeing how easily she seemed to fit in now; not like last time when all of Buffy's friends made sure that Faith had felt firmly on the outside, causing Buffy to do the same.

"What's different?" she added.

"I dunno for sure," Willow answered. "We're different. She's different."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Willow insisted. "She's definitely changed."

Buffy kept her eyes on Faith, feeling a little sad that Faith hadn't come back sooner, before she'd met Tru. Though in reality she doubted things would have gone any smoother.

"Well maybe she's changed with you guys," Buffy said. "Me? Not so much."

"Maybe that's because we've put the effort in," Willow responded almost apologetically.

Buffy crossed her arms and pouted.

"That's not fair."

"But it's true, Buffy," Willow asserted. "You haven't spent any time with her."

"There's a good reason for that," Buffy said, not wishing to explain further.

Willow didn't need to know that things were even more complicated than usual between her and Faith. It was too hard spending time with Faith when she felt unbelievably guilty, and when just a look from her made Buffy feel like shedding all her clothes so they could. . .Buffy closed her eyes and tried not to think about it.

A loud victory-cheer rang out and Xander got up and did his Snoopy dance. He'd obviously beaten Faith and felt proud about it. Buffy caught Faith's eye and wondered if he'd only beaten her because Faith hadn't been paying full attention; Buffy had been aware of Faith's glances her way ever since moving in to the kitchen area. It didn't really matter now, Faith knew her secrets.

She cut short her conversation with Willow, realising it was pointless being mad and pointless arguing about the effort she was putting in to Faith. Buffy didn't need more things to think about, and she was beginning to miss Tru. She briefly thought about making her way back to LA for the rest of the weekend, but she'd spent what spare money she had on her last unused bus ticket and couldn't afford another one until the following week.

"Why don't you stay a while?" Willow suggested.

So she did.

Though Buffy felt strangely out of the loop and a little uncomfortable she tried to relax and just be with her friends. If she ignored the way being close to Faith made her feel she could deal with the situation. Of course that wasn't as easy as she wished it to be, but being there was probably better than sitting at home brooding.

After a while they all got bored of their video game and decided to just talk, and though Buffy hadn't exactly been overjoyed at having to cheer on her friends as they beat each other up via little pixelated men in garish outfits, it was preferable to trying to find things to chat about. She couldn't talk about herself, other than in a slayer and slaying sense, and it was beginning to get awkward. Questions about Riley and any possible upcoming dates made her squirm and want to leave, but leaving would bring attention to the fact she was trying to avoid saying anything about her love life. She was stuck.

"Oh, before I forget, Buffy," Xander began during a slight lull in the conversation, "who's Tru?"

Buffy's eyes nearly fell out of her head and she choked on the glass of coke she'd asked for in place of the beer Faith was happily swilling.

"Um, she. . .uh," Buffy stuttered, brain cells bumping around in her head as she tried to find an answer.

"Is she a classmate? New friend?" Xander pressed, eyebrows quirking up and down in enthusiasm.

Willow looked like she was in pain for Buffy and Tara seemed genuinely sympathetic – having obviously heard about Tru through Willow. Buffy still couldn't find her voice. If she said Tru was a classmate Xander would want details; he was always interested in meeting new girls, even though he was with Anya. And Buffy couldn't tell him she had a new friend; they didn't have new friends, it was always just them. . .and now Faith, but there was no explaining without making him suspicious and she definitely wasn't ready for him to know the truth yet.

Opening and closing her mouth, staring at Xander as he began to look a little puzzled, Buffy wondered if making a run for the door would seem extreme. Normally Willow would help her in situations that left her tongue tied, but after spilling the beans to Faith she was probably being overly cautious.

"She's some chick B saved outta the jaws of a vamp the other day," Faith cut in when it appeared that Buffy was going to have to tell the truth or fake temporary amnesia. "Buff's just been checkin' on her, that's all."

"Trying to explain away the things that go bump?" Xander asked, looking like he completely believed Faith.

"Yeah," Buffy replied weakly.

She glanced over at Faith, giving her a small smile of gratitude but wondering why she'd come to her rescue. Faith could have left her to squirm. She could have encouraged Xander and forced Buffy to relinquish her secret. She could have done a thousand things that would have made Buffy feel awful, but she hadn't.

"So," Xander continued, making Buffy's heart beginning to panic-beat again, "is she single?"

"Ugh! Xander, you have a girlfriend," Willow pointed out, whacking him on the arm as Tara chuckled.

As he tried to explain himself, Faith gave Buffy a nod and stood up, making her way towards the bathroom – the only place in the apartment not visible to all.

"Need to talk to you about something, B," Faith said, entering the bathroom and obviously expecting Buffy to follow.

Buffy looked around at her friends, and as Xander opened his mouth to ask her more questions she stood hurriedly and made her way out of the room. She was glad to escape, but as Faith closed the door – leaving Buffy stuck alone with her in the small space of the bathroom - she wondered if she'd chosen the wrong option. Facing Xander's questions might have been less difficult than facing Faith with no escape. Or at least, no escape that would make it look really obvious that she was indeed trying to escape.

"Thanks," Buffy said despite her wariness. "I didn't know what to say to him."

"No big," Faith responded, leaning back with her butt on the sink.

"It doesn't make it ok, though," Buffy added. "I'm still mad at you for spoiling my weekend."

Faith shook her head as if she didn't know what Buffy was even talking about, let alone cared.

"If you wanna pretend that you'd rather be there. . .whatever, B," Faith said with a shrug. "You're not foolin' me, though."

"I'm not trying to fool anybody – except Xander, and my mom and. . .that's beside the point. The point is you won't get away with doing that again."

Faith slowly licked her lips, the tip of her tongue slipping over the deep cleft in her lower lip in a way that made Buffy scream for mercy on the inside. Her eyes devoured Buffy; scalding her wherever she lingered for more than a beat. Buffy had to get out, but she wasn't moving.

"You had sex last night," Faith said suddenly, making Buffy's breath catch in her throat.

"What?" she spluttered.

She couldn't seem to move as Faith pushed away from the sink and closed the small distance between them.

"Last night," Faith continued. "You had sex with Tru didn't ya."

Buffy's heart rate increased at an alarming rate; not just because of how eerily accurate the guess was, but also from how close Faith now was. There was nowhere to go for Buffy - her back was against the door.

"I didn't. . ."

"I can smell it," Faith interrupted, halting Buffy's obvious lie.

A furious blush burst out over Buffy's cheeks and she looked away from Faith, desperately trying to keep from turning into a bumbling idiot.

"You can. . .smell it?" she stuttered, embarrassed, her lungs beginning to suck the air in as if they were starved of oxygen.

Faith was awfully close, and doing that sexy, intimidating, in control thing that Buffy found both incredibly hot and completely frustrating.

"Yeah," Faith answered huskily, a hand drifting up over Buffy's hip as she leaned towards her. "Smells like you're still wet for more, B. You want me to finish it off?"

Buffy blushed even redder and felt a wave of disgust mingled in with the obvious lust that Faith produced within her so easily. She had to back away out of this situation, and Faith had to know that being all crude and sexy was so not allowed anymore. Putting her hands up in order to stop Faith leaning in to her, resting them on Faith's chest, Buffy regained the use of her lungs and looked hard into her eyes.

"This has to stop, Faith."

"Stop? We haven't even started yet, B," Faith stated, her lips perilously close to Buffy's.

If Buffy moved forward an inch or two they'd be kissing. She'd have Faith's lips on her, tongue in her mouth, hands exploring. That incredibly sensual mouth would be all hers. . .until Faith decided she was done with Buffy and moved on to her next conquest, leaving Buffy a heart broken, yearning mess. She turned her head and pushed Faith away just enough to give her space to move back from the door.

"We won't be starting anything, Faith," Buffy said firmly. "We missed that boat."

Without allowing herself to disappear in to Faith's eyes once more, Buffy pulled open the bathroom door and left without another word. She bid a quick farewell to her friends, telling them she had studying to catch up on, and exited the apartment. Nobody questioned her, and though she could practically feel Faith's eyes burning through the door behind her she didn't follow.

Buffy sighed, her heart aching in a way that reminded her of too many fights with Faith in the past. This was too hard.

"Stupid Buffy," she muttered to herself as she wearily descended the steps. "Stupid lesbian tendencies."

TBC…


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

The smell of blood lingered in the air, assaulting Buffy's nostrils as she stalked through the graveyard, stake perched inside her pocket ready to be used. Her feet hit the ground softly, picking out the quietest path, the shortest route towards the scent that had led her that way. It was the scent of demon blood; fresh, a heady mix of acrid iron and tar that always made Buffy's stomach twist in repulsion. She was close, listening out for signs of fighting, or feeding. At the first sign of a struggle she'd end her slow and stealthy approach and bolt as fast as she could towards her goal. But there were no sounds of trouble, just the aroma of spilled blood.

Her heart was beating fast, body on high alert, and then the tingles began. There was a vampire close by, and by the sounds of it they weren't alone.

"So I gave this guy my kittens and the bastard still won't let it drop. I swear, that's the last time I play poker with a Falanjoid demon. He wanted my brain, chip and all."

Buffy rolled her eyes and relaxed her shoulders, turning around in order to avoid him. It was Spike and she didn't want to deal with his clinginess, especially if he had friends along with him. There were only so many 'friendly' demons she could deal with on a nightly basis. She had enough on her plate.

"Dude, you know the kitten thing is sick right?"

But that was Faith's voice, which meant Faith was with Spike. Faith and Spike together. At night. Outside.

Buffy felt a little bubble of torment burst inside her. She couldn't allow them to fraternise all willy nilly, in her graveyard. She turned around again and headed towards the voices.

It had been a few days since she'd last seen Faith – she was back to avoiding. Thankfully they hadn't run in to each other on patrol or at Giles' shop, which probably had more to do with the fact Buffy was making sure she knew where Faith was at all times so they wouldn't be in the same place together, rather than missing her by chance. It had worked well, but she hadn't counted on Faith teaming up with Spike at any point. Now she had to face them both when she'd much rather have finished up her patrol and gone home to a nice mug of hot chocolate.

"Well kittens are easier to come by than money so it works out in the end," Spike said as Buffy got closer.

"I don't even wanna know what they do with 'em," Faith commented. "The less I know about demons enjoying kitty cat treats the better."

Buffy rounded the corner, placing herself in front of them both. She glanced from Spike to Faith and instantly wished she could turn around again and run; Faith was all decked out in black, leather, and tight things. Her hair was straight and sleek, makeup dusky and sexy, curves hugged close by her clothes. She looked good – really good - as if she was on a hot date and knew she was going to get 'serviced' all night long. And Spike had the biggest, shit eating grin on his face she'd ever seen. It really wasn't a good combination.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked abruptly, not particularly aiming the question at either one of them.

Both Spike and Faith stopped walking and looked at each other. Faith's eyebrow raised and Spike's grin got that little bit wider.

"What's it look like, B?" Faith asked, continuing before Buffy could answer. "We're makin' plans to take over the world. He's Pinky, I'm Brain."

"Hey, why don't I get to be Brain?" Spike asked Faith, practically pouting.

"Trust me, it's better this way," Faith said with a decisive nod causing Spike to shrug his shoulders and relent.

They were being far too friendly with each other and Buffy didn't like it. She'd warned Spike away from Faith, and she had hoped that Faith would have stayed away from Spike, but obviously they actually liked each other.

"I meant what are you doing out here together," Buffy persisted, failing to find their closeness endearing.

She realised she was coming off as a bitch, but she felt bitchy. There really was no need for Faith and Spike to speak to each other let alone wander around graveyards together, and she didn't care if they knew that's exactly what she thought. This was her patch and she wanted things done her way.

"I'm slaying, he's. . .watching mostly," Faith pointed out.

"It's impressive stuff," Spike added. "She does it better than you."

Narrowing her eyes and doing her best to ignore his comment, Buffy shook her head at Faith, unimpressed with her choice of slaying partner. It wasn't like she wanted to slay with Faith herself, but that wasn't the point. She knew just how impressive Faith could look whilst slaying and wasn't keen on Spike being witness to that, and possibly the after effects of said slaying.

"Impressive or not, I told you to stay away," Buffy reminded him. "You're not one of us. You're a vampire."

"Hey, wait a fucking minute, B," Faith cut in. "I invited him along. You wanna get pissed at somebody get pissed at me."

"Oh believe me, I am," Buffy assured.

"Well that's new at least," Faith responded sarcastically.

Buffy didn't exactly know what to say to that. It wasn't her fault Faith rubbed her the completely wrong way. Well actually, Faith had been very good at rubbing her exactly the right way but that was in a totally different respect and so not what she was meant to be thinking about.

"I can almost taste the unresolved tension," Spike said, his grin turning wicked and making Buffy want swipe it right off his face. "Bloody delicious."

"Shut up," both Buffy and Faith told him.

He pouted again but Buffy didn't care; her eyes were fixed on Faith and she felt the distinct urge to punch her in the head. It was one of the lesser urges she was feeling about Faith but she decided concentrating on that one was safer. Safer but not altogether convincing; as she did her best not to wonder if Faith's leather pants looked almost sprayed on, she noticed a spatter of blood on her thigh. It brought back some rather harsh memories.

"Why do you have blood on you?" Buffy asked.

"It's demon blood," Faith replied, instantly reminding Buffy why she'd come that way in the first place. "But I guess you'd probably rather believe I just notched up another murder."

Faith's words were cold and hard but Buffy heard the splinter of emotion lying just under the surface. Did Faith really believe Buffy still thought that way about her? Obviously so, and that made Buffy choose her next words a little more carefully.

"No, of course not," she said, softer than she'd previously been speaking.

Though she'd tried to sound convincing it obviously hadn't had the effect she'd hoped for. Faith just shook her head and rolled her eyes. Her walls were up, guarding her even more than usual.

"We just slayed a couple of horny bad guys," Spike said, stepping forward a little to try to catch Buffy's eye. She continued to watch Faith.

"Horny?" Buffy asked, furrowing her brow in a disapproving manner.

"As in they had horns, B. Mind outta the gutter."

"My mind is fine where it is, I knew what he meant," Buffy lied.

"Sure you did," Spike responded sarcastically. "Now, how about we make this a threesome?"

Both slayers looked at him as if he'd just dropped off the nearest banana tree. Faith raised an eyebrow and Buffy curled her lip a little as the words threesome and Spike kept jolting her brain. It wasn't a pretty thought.

"Hey, it's you two that are the perverts, I didn't mean anything by it," Spike protested. "I meant. . .yunno, to go slay evil."

He jabbed with his hand as if he was holding a stake, but Buffy wasn't going to be fooled.

"How about you go find a nice comfy spot in the dirt, and we'll go and slay evil," Buffy instructed, moving to Faith's side and tugging on her jacket sleeve to follow her as she started walking.

"Guess that means she's done ignoring me," Faith commented to Spike with a chuckle.

Buffy tugged a little harder and Faith relented, falling into stride with Buffy as they walked away from Spike down the gravely path. She did pull her arm away from Buffy, however, tucking her hands into her pockets and away from further tugging.

"Oh that's just great that is," Spike grumbled after them.

"I'll catch ya later, William," Faith called back, giving him a wave and a wink.

Buffy definitely didn't like the wink.

"Stay off my patch in the meantime," Buffy added, shouting so she was clear he'd heard.

He threw his hands in the air. "But it's all your patch," he whined

"Exactly," Buffy said firmly, turning to give him a little shooing motion.

He kicked at a rock and turned to slope off, his shoulders slumped and ego bruised.

"Yunno, the guy was just helpin' out," Faith said after several minutes of silence as they made slow progress down the path.

Buffy hadn't wanted to speak – afraid of what she might say. She'd tried not to feel the pang of jealousy that seeing Spike with Faith had caused. She wasn't in any position to be jealous; she was dating Faith's sister under dubious circumstances without the sister knowing about Faith. Really, she had no right to start telling Faith what to do, but it was Spike, and. . .well, she just couldn't sit back and watch them become best buddies – or more – without letting it be known she wasn't happy about it and planned to stop it happening.

"The one thing you have to remember about Spike is that he never does anything just to help out," Buffy informed Faith. "He always wants something back."

They both strolled along with their hands in their pockets and boots scraping across the hard gravel. The tension between them was as heavy as ever, but it almost felt like they were growing accustomed to it rather than trying to fight it. Buffy couldn't put her finger on the difference, but it was definitely there.

"Well maybe I don't mind that, B," Faith responded, her shoulders jerking but her hands remaining crammed into her tight pockets. "He's been totally straight with me the past few days which is more than I can say for some."

Buffy knew that was directed at her, and she knew she should say something about it, but avoiding that issue was preferable to talking about it and starting an argument. Instead she chose to skirt around it.

"You want me to be straight with you, Faith?" Buffy asked, putting emphasis on the word straight. "Really?"

She raised her eyebrows and glanced over at Faith. They swapped grins until Faith laughed and Buffy followed.

"Ok, not straight exactly," Faith said through her laughter.

"Yeah, I didn't think so."

They continued to smile and for a little while it felt good, easy almost. It was surprising given their last encounter and the prickliness of their words to each other, but neither of them had mentioned it so far, which was a good thing as far as Buffy was concerned. Being quiet and calm was a good thing too, but through the deafening silence Buffy realised that her determined fight to keep away from Faith had lasted. . .not so long actually.

Walking through the cemetery gates and towards the looming college buildings not too far beyond, both slayers relaxed; footfalls chiming out together and small glances keeping them connected despite their reluctance to talk. It surprised Buffy at how stoic Faith was being. She was normally full of bravado and stories, and she just knew that bubbling under the surface of Faith's apparent serenity was a hundred different emotions and instincts just waiting to make their presence felt. It started making her uneasy and Buffy was quickly losing grip of the gentle calm between them.

She tried her best not to put her foot in her mouth by opening it to speak, but as they made their way onto college grounds and towards Buffy's building she realised she had to ask why Faith had walked her home – or kind of walked her home. In fact, she wasn't even certain why they'd gone that way and not continued slaying. It wasn't actually that late.

"So we're done slaying for the night?" Buffy asked tentatively, slowing their pace even further.

"Looks like," Faith replied. "I was just followin' you after ya kinda didn't give me a choice."

Buffy winced, unable to refute that fact. She felt a little embarrassed about it but at least Faith wasn't getting on her case. She probably should have been but Buffy certainly didn't want to instigate it.

"I guess I just. . ." Buffy didn't know what she guessed. "I think I'm just tired."

They left the solid ground of the path running into the campus and trudged across the grass they weren't supposed to walk on.

"That's understandable," Faith said with a nod. "Gotta be tough leading a double life; in and outta the closet, up and down to LA."

There was a coldness to her last words that made Buffy wrap her arms around herself. She hated that she'd caused this new problem between them; she was meant to be the superior one, the righteous one. This was all upside down.

"Don't start," Buffy said solemnly.

"I didn't start it, chica."

Buffy rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. The apparent calm between them had obviously just been waiting for the storm to come. They started walking alongside the back of a building; heading towards the one Buffy's room was in. It was darker now - especially on the path they'd stepped onto - but the shadows didn't bother Buffy and she imagined that Faith probably relished them.

"Are we gonna keep doing this?" Buffy asked, continuing before Faith had chance to answer. "Creating problems for each other and making sure we can never just. . .get along?"

She saw a silent shrug from Faith but wasn't satisfied with that answer. Buffy put her arm out to halt Faith, stopping just before they reached the end of the long building, placing a hand on her arm and turning to face her.

"If we're going to be in the same town we need to deal with this. With us," Buffy said, forcing the words out.

"We do?" Faith stubbornly asked; the relaxed poise from only minutes before giving way to tight muscles and defensive glances. "I don't think there's anything to deal with, B. I just think you need to quit going to LA."

A forlorn sigh escaped Buffy's lips and she lowered her head. She didn't think she had the energy to dance around the same subject again. Telling Faith over and over that she was sorry and that she wasn't going to be with her was no longer a fun game – not that it ever had been.

"And I think you need to back off," Buffy reminded.

Buffy's grasp on Faith's arm tightened a bit, emphasising her words before she let go. With a lick of her lips and a flare of her nostrils Faith made sure to let Buffy know she wasn't about to be pressured; in one quick move she had Buffy up against the wall of the building, hands trapped at her sides by Faith's strong grip.

"Back off?" Faith asked, a low growl to each word. "And when did you ever back off of me?"

Buffy tried to struggle free as the bricks behind her snagged at her clothes, but Faith had the advantage of anger strengthening her muscles. Trying too hard to break free would probably only cause an all out fight anyway, and Buffy didn't want that. If it was possible to do so she wanted to fix them and at least be Faith's friend, so punching and kicking was out of the question. . .unless Faith kicked first of course.

"I had to put up with everybody trying to make me into another version of you, and now. . .they're finally seeing that ain't gonna work so they're accepting me, but you won't stop, B. You never stop pushing!"

Blinking up into Faith's eyes, Buffy tried to look past the sudden anger. She understood now why Faith got this way – at least a little. Faith couldn't bear being told what to do, and couldn't stand being seen as something less than she was. Buffy had never wanted to hear it from Faith in the past, shutting her up whenever Faith got close to opening up, but she'd heard anyway.

Buffy could practically feel the emotions within Faith rolling off her – so close to her she could pick up every subtle scent of the girl and feel the heat through her clothes. Faith was close to exploding, and this time it was all Buffy's fault. It probably always had been.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said softly, hoping to bring Faith down off the edge.

She knew the words seemed hollow but they were all she could offer Faith right now.

Fingers dug in to Buffy's wrists where Faith was holding her with both hands; nails biting at her flesh as Faith breathed heavily, a darkness to her eyes that scared Buffy more than any demon. There were passionate emotions taking control of Faith that Buffy had only recently realised were there inside her. Faith's anger was being fuelled by everything they'd never had together. By a heart that had probably been broken. By a trust that had been betrayed.

They'd done that to each other, more than once; each time worse than the last. And now Buffy was doing it again. She was rejecting Faith in favour of somebody who was similar but good, safe, better. No, maybe not better exactly. . .but better for Buffy.

"You're not sorry, B."

Buffy held Faith's threatening eyes with her own, daring her to see the truth past all the hurt they'd done to each other.

"I am," Buffy reassured, trying to make her voice sound sincere.

Swallowing hard, Faith glanced away, her grip loosening just a little on Buffy's wrists. She was still ominously close; doing her best to intimidate Buffy, or at least to seem more powerful or sure than she was.

"If you were sorry you'd stop," Faith pressed, her eyes snapping back to Buffy in anger, but the tremble to her voice giving her away.

Wriggling her right arm free, Buffy lifted her hand, tentative fingers sliding through a soft tumble of dark hair as she pushed it back from Faith's face. There were tears in Faith's eyes and it stung inside Buffy's chest. It made her heart hurt in a way she didn't like, couldn't deal with so soon.

She kept her hand touching Faith – resting at her neck with her thumb grazing over her jaw. The tears didn't fall and Faith stood strong, eager to prove that she was worthy of being the person she thought she was. There was so much more to her than that and Buffy knew it now, but it wasn't her place to point it out to Faith, and if truth be told she didn't want to see it herself. She didn't want to look that deep because if she did. . .she'd have to question everything she was doing, every choice she'd made since Faith came back, and every choice she was still going to make.

"I can't stop," Buffy said, wishing the words could be different and Faith's sad eyes could be happier. "It's this that has to stop. You know we can't do this."

Buffy glanced down to indicate the position they were in: faces close as if they should be kissing, bodies on the verge of sliding together. Faith narrowed her eyes and moved even closer, pushing her breasts into Buffy and slipping a strong thigh between her legs. An inaudible gasp caught in the back of Buffy's throat and she tried to pull back, away from the torturous temptation of Faith's thigh, but there was nowhere to move to.

Dropping her hand to Faith's shoulder, ready to push her off if need be, Buffy fought with every natural instinct she had that was telling her to want, take, have. Much like Faith's old chant – which she found quite ironic.

"No," Faith said, almost cruelly, "you say we can't but I know you want to."

She pressed against Buffy with her thigh, the strong muscle tensing between her legs and causing Buffy to hold her breath. She had to get out of this situation before Faith got the better of her resolve again. It couldn't happen twice, not after what she'd done with Tru. It had meant something with Tru and she didn't want that tainted by allowing herself to be so easily swayed by Faith's powerful presence.

"Faith, I don't. . ."

"After what you let me do to you on the floor of Giles' shop? You can't fool me, B," Faith asserted.

A hand ran up Buffy's side and Faith moved against her, subtle enough not to make Buffy push her off, but just enough for the heat between Buffy's legs to intensify. She'd been slaying, and that coupled with holding in the urges she'd felt ever since being stuck in Faith's bathroom with her. . .well it was beginning to have an effect. Buffy closed her eyes and searched within herself for the strength she knew was there somewhere. She'd always had the strength not to go too far with Angel so it was there inside, but then – even though he was all kinds of hot in his own broody way – he didn't come close to Faith in the scorching hotness stakes.

Faith's lips were dangerously close to Buffy's and she could smell the faint scent of vanilla flavoured lip gloss. Buffy desperately wanted to know what it tasted like on Faith's lips. Desperately wanted Faith possessing her with her mouth again and making her insides quiver and crumble.

"You want more," Faith claimed boldly, her hot breath teasing Buffy's lips.

With a telltale quiver to her voice Buffy tried to deny it.

"I don't. . .I don't want. . ." She took a sharp breath as Faith rubbed her nose along Buffy's, so close to letting those delicious lips capture what they wanted once again.

Fingers dipped under the bottom of Buffy's top, brushing over the sensitive skin of her stomach as her mind became a blur of need and desire. She wanted to press her lips against Faith's. She wanted to end this torture and enjoy the warm mouth that was so ready to be hers. She couldn't feel this without letting Faith know the truth at least. She owed her that.

"Actually, that's a lie," Buffy said, finding it difficult to speak as her heart pounded in her chest. "I do want more."

Faith's brow twitched with a look of disbelief, but mostly she seemed ready to hear the truth- impatient to move things between them to where it should always have been.

"But. . ." Buffy began, her heart clenching as Faith's fragile and cautious smile fell.

"Don't say but," Faith challenged.

"I have to."

Buffy leaned her head back enough to pull her away from the temptation of Faith's lips, looking her in the eyes despite seeing nothing but disappointment behind the gold-speckled brown. With a sigh she eased Faith away from her a small distance, instantly missing her heat.

"All we would do is hurt each other," Buffy said softly, her words betraying everything she truly felt inside. "All we would do is spoil the friendship we could. . ."

"You don't want me to be your friend, B."

"You're wrong," Buffy said a little more firmly. "I do want that. Probably even more than I want. . .yunno."

A slight blush crept over Buffy's cheeks as she tried to adjust to talking like this with Faith.

"More than you want to fuck me?" Faith asked, moving close to Buffy once again as Buffy closed her eyes and took a steadying breath.

She really wished that bad words didn't sound so sexy coming from Faith; it had always been a distraction. She needed to focus.

"We can't just jump into this," Buffy continued, trying her best to ignore how close Faith was again, searching for all the excuses she could think of. "I have a girlfriend, and you need to respect that even if it is shitty. We both need to move on."

"So your idea of moving on is dating my twin?" Faith asked incredulously. "I'm pretty sure you realise how stupid that is."

Buffy couldn't exactly refute that but she needed Faith to let go of this. As Faith leaned a hand next to Buffy's head, her body looming over her, she told herself not to cave, and not to fall in to the trap of endlessly apologising. She could only say sorry so many times before it became meaningless, and she had to stop believing it was all her fault. If Faith had never done all those bad things then. . .but then again, all those bad things hadn't entirely been Faith's fault either.

"I know you, B," Faith stated, emotion cracking her voice. "I know you want. . ."

Buffy clenched her jaw and lifted her hands to Faith's face, holding her close and looking deep into eyes that appeared far more vulnerable than she'd ever seen them before.

"You're right," Buffy accepted. "I wanna. . ." She paused, gathering her courage. "I wanna fuck you so bad it hurts. . .but I want more than that, and this is the last time we're gonna talk about it. We have to move on."

Her hands lingered on Faith's cheeks for a few seconds as Faith regarded her with much less vulnerability than just a minute before. The flash of pain flitted across her face and Buffy dropped her hands, releasing the other girl. With a flare of her nostrils Faith pushed away from the wall, and from Buffy. A shaky hand ran through her dark locks, and before Buffy could attribute the shaking to emotion, she was given clear evidence that it was in fact anger causing it.

"Since I've been back I've been nothing but honest with you, B," Faith vented, her chest rising and falling quicker than normal. "I opened up to you. I left myself dangling out there."

She started pacing in front of Buffy, her fists clenching and shoulders tightening. Buffy cautiously moved away from the wall but she didn't try to interrupt. Not this time. She'd done that too often with Faith – unwilling to hear the hurt inside the other girl.

"Yunno what?" Faith continued. "You're right, we should move on. I'm done trying to be good enough for you. Have fun screwing my twin and trying not to think of me. I can't do this anymore."

She moved quickly and purposely towards Buffy, catching her off guard and pressing her hard into the wall. Her hands held Buffy firmly, painfully at the hips, and her mouth crashed against Buffy's with enough force to bang the back of her head against the brick. A muffled "oomph" against Faith's lips did nothing to stop her as she kissed Buffy harshly, anger rumbling in the back of her throat.

With her hands on Faith's shoulders, Buffy gripped at the material of her shirt, letting herself be kissed despite knowing she should push Faith away. Her fingers grasped tighter as Faith's body overpowered every one of her senses; the outpouring of desire and anger holding Buffy ransom against the painful scrape of the bricks. Their lips barely moved, holding firm and pushing the issue as they breathed hard against each other. When Buffy felt Faith's hips against her own she barely contained a whimper, shuddering and digging deep within herself to find the willpower to stop the kiss.

"Faith," Buffy managed to mumble out; trying to get control of the situation, though she didn't attempt to untangle them exactly.

Faith hummed against her mouth in answer, and as Buffy opened her lips a little way in order to speak again she found a quick tongue sliding against her own. This time her whimper came out loud and clear and Faith grinned into the kiss. One last sweep of her tongue over Buffy's - making Buffy's legs turn to jello and her breath quiver – and then Faith was gone.

She ripped her body and her mouth away from Buffy, giving her a cold, hard stare before turning away and disappearing quickly along the path. Buffy watched her go, slumping against the wall and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, fighting the urge to call after Faith. If she called Faith back then they'd go the final step, seal the deal, confirm what they'd always known. But it would all fall apart so quickly that neither of them would survive the fallout, so she bit her lip and begged the ache in her heart and her body to dissipate.

Watching as Faith got further and further away, a single tear rolled down Buffy's cheek. She swiped it away but it kept falling, clouding her vision until she could no longer see Faith at all. It felt like a last chance had come and gone, and now – without Faith's body against her own – she just felt cold and vulnerable.

That had to be the last kiss. The last time she accepted that all she really wanted was Faith. It was time to put it behind her and heed her own words; to move on.

TBC…


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Buffy had kept hidden away for days, almost a week, trying to control her thoughts and her feelings. Every time she allowed herself to think, she'd think of Faith. Every time she hoped it to would be Tru she wanted to call, her inner monologue would disagree. She had to force herself to accept the way things were. This time she had to stay away from Faith completely.

She'd spoken to Tru a few times during the week and apologised several times for having run out on her after their first night of passion, and Tru was being nothing but nice. Her soft voice had soothed Buffy for a while and taken her mind off Faith, but that never lasted. When she least expected it she'd find her lips tingling from that last kiss. Feel her stomach twisting for all kinds of reasons. All kinds of bad reasons.

The words Faith had said reverberated around her mind.

"_I'm done trying to be good enough for you. Have fun screwing my twin and trying not to think of me. I can't do this anymore."_

It was said so harshly by Faith, and with such conviction that she knew for sure any hope of friendship with Faith was far out of reach. Maybe it was impossible. Buffy didn't want to believe all hope was lost, but in their current situation she couldn't see a way forward. While she was with Tru a friendship with Faith was unattainable. While she was with Tru, Faith had to be the furthest thing from her mind. The problem with that was actually making it happen. Faith wasn't furthest from her mind, and truthfully. . .she never had been. She'd always been there, somewhere. Buffy had always been on the brink of falling, tumbling, tumbled.

Scuffing her shoes on the squeaky floor as she walked slowly to the lecture she was too late to reach on time, Buffy tapped her short fingernails on the large book grasped in her hands. She had it flat across her chest, hugging it to her as if it were something she could float on if her thoughts carried her away. It was too heavy to be much help on the buoyancy front, but Buffy liked the feel of it. It was an impressive book and didn't fit in her small backpack. Unfortunately it was the wrong book for the lecture she was just about to completely miss.

Buffy's focus had been far from focus-y when preparing that morning. It was almost the weekend so she could no longer just pretend like her life was normal and she didn't have a secret girlfriend, or a secret crush that she was desperately trying not to have. Of course, she was fooling herself by calling it a crush. It had started as a crush way back before things had gotten stab-happy, but it had developed, bubbled up like a festering pond, pustulated like a burning boil on the backside of her innocence.

Buffy pulled a face and decided not to think in metaphors any longer. The point was, it had long since been a crush and was quite clearly something she couldn't push aside, no matter how hard she tried. Falling in love with Faith had burned a deep mark onto her heart. It had healed a little over time, but having Faith back was akin to ripping the band-aid off a barely healed open sore. She was hopeful she could try to cover it up at least, but she knew it was there. She'd always know it was there.

As Buffy reached the large doors to the lecture hall a bell rang out. Hearing stamping feet rushing towards her, she got out of the way just in time as the doors swung open in front of her and a cacophony of students rushed out. Placing herself flat against the corridor wall and waiting, Buffy hoped she could tag on to the back of them and blend in before the professor she should have been sat listening to for the past two hours caught her and gave her a much more humiliating kind of lecture.

"Buffy?" Came a shout from in amongst the quickly moving throng.

It was Willow, and Buffy took a chance and pushed her way into the crowd towards her, instantly being carried away towards the cafeteria for lunch. She wasn't feeling particularly hungry, or particularly social, but until there was a break in the flow there seemed to be no escaping the inevitable.

"Hey," she said to Willow, giving her a small smile.

Apart from here and there at college and a few fly-by visits to the Magic Box, they'd spent little time together over the last week and it was already Friday. It was unusual, but Buffy had needed space. Slaying and studying, and arguing with her internal monologue had kept her schedule full. Willow was also spending far more time with Faith than Buffy cared to know, or talk about. She hadn't said anything to Willow about it, and she couldn't really blame her, but it still made Buffy bristle a little when she thought about it.

"So, I haven't really seen you," Willow said, stating the obvious.

The rush of students began to turn into more of a trickle than a torrent, leaving them room to step to the side as they neared an exit sign that would lead them out into the sunshine.

"Yeah, I've been. . .busy, studying, stabbing and killing, and stuff," Buffy said awkwardly, gripping her book tighter.

Willow tried not to frown but she did, and Buffy tried not to feel guilty, but she did.

Thankfully Willow didn't push her, instead looking down at the book and furrowing her brow that little bit more.

"Whatcha got there?" Willow asked, pointing.

"The wrong book," Buffy explained. "The wrong and unnecessarily heavy book."

With a nod Willow gave her a sympathetic look.

"Maybe you should take it back to your room," she suggested. "I don't think you have that lesson today."

She was right of course, she didn't have that lesson. Buffy just hadn't been thinking when she'd grabbed it from her desk.

"Come with?" she asked Willow, hoping the small walk would give them some much missed time together.

Her friend nodded and smiled and they broke free of the lunch-bound crowd, heading towards Buffy's dorm.

The sun soaked them in light and warmed their skin as they strolled slower than they probably normally would. Buffy took a deep breath and tried to relax, letting the warmth creep over her bare arms and shoulders, thankful she'd worn a small, strappy top and hadn't grabbed a winter jacket in her fuzzy-headed state that morning.

A silence between them stretched on much longer than Buffy could ever remember such a silence doing in the past. In fact, she didn't think they'd ever gone as long without speaking. Normally it was a non-stop babble-fest between them. Things really were worryingly out of sorts and Buffy wanted to get things back to normal. If she was ever going to attempt to bring order back to her currently chaotic life then it had to start here.

"How's Tara?" Buffy asked, having seen her even less than normal.

Willow's face lit up at the mention of her name.

"She's doing good," she said. "We'll be meeting for lunch in a while."

"Oh," Buffy said, instantly feeling even worse, "you don't have to follow me back to the dorm then, I can go alone."

"No, we have time," Willow insisted. "Then we can all go to lunch together. I miss the togetherness."

Buffy felt her strained mood lift a little with Willow's smile.

"Ok," she replied with her own smile, picking up the pace so they'd get there quicker.

It felt good being around her best friend again. And little by little they slipped into their normal trend of conversation; chatting about silly TV shows, homework, and now magic. Now the silence had gone it became easier just to be around Willow, and with every passing minute she thought less and less about her turbulent love life. It was a nice break from her own thoughts.

They hadn't chatted all week, and Buffy hadn't been able to gush about Tru, or fret to Willow about Faith. She'd kept it all inside, driving herself nuts with a mix of self-doubt and excited restlessness.

Once she'd dumped her useless book back in her room and grabbed some money for lunch they set off back outside, heading across campus to meet Tara. As Buffy felt every one of her brain cells sighing with relief at the brief respite from constant bouts of over analyzing, Willow chose that moment to ask Buffy if she was seeing Tru that weekend. It all came crashing back.

After finding herself momentarily struck dumb by the question, Buffy finally answered, "Yeah, I'm going tomorrow," she said awkwardly, feeling guilty again.

"It's lucky Faith came back, to patrol when you're not here," Willow said.

Buffy narrowed her eyes and bit back her anger. Was Willow accusing her of slacking?

"Well I think I deserve a few weekends to myself, Will," she stated coldly. "It's about time Faith made herself useful around here."

The annoyance was clearly evident in her voice and Willow didn't miss it.

"Oh, I didn't mean that you were slacking," she quickly said. "You totally deserve some free time to be somewhere that's not here. And a life outside of the whole slaying thing. I totally support that."

Buffy glanced over at her as they strolled through the college grounds. Willow didn't look like she was lying, but Buffy was feeling sceptical.

"It's not like I'm leaving Faith to do all the work; it's one night a week, two at most. I think I should be allowed that."

Willow nodded fervently, her eyebrows raised. "I agree, Buffy. No arguments here."

"Yeah, I bet Faith says differently, huh."

Buffy felt her muscles hardening as she thought about what Faith might have been saying about the situation. She didn't need the other slayer making her look bad just to discredit her out of jealousy.

"Nope, Faith hasn't said anything," Willow assured.

They reached the main road that ran alongside the college, heading down the street to the diner that Tara was waiting at. Willow had asked Buffy to join them but Buffy was beginning to regret accepting. All this talking was leading to things she didn't want to speak about, but there was no way of backing out of the conversation now.

"It won't take long for her to start complaining," Buffy insisted. "She's pissed about Tru."

Willow paused before speaking, but when she did speak it took Buffy a little by surprise.

"Well you can't really blame her, Buffy," she said quietly. "She's upset, and confused."

"_She's_ confused?" Buffy bristled.

Running a hand through her soft hair, Buffy shook her head. She didn't want to be mad at Willow or bring up the fact it was her fault that Faith now knew Tru was her sister, but it was hard to keep control of her emotions when they were all jostled up inside her. The weight of guilt was heavy on her shoulders and she wished she could just shrug it off, but there was no escaping the muddle she was in. And there was no point in taking out her bad mood on her friend, despite how apparently determined Willow was to keep putting her foot in her mouth.

"I didn't mean that it's your fault," Willow blustered, sounding panicked. "Though it is you that's dating her sister, and she didn't even know she had one. . .and yunno, she likes you so it's. . ."

"Willow," Buffy butted in. "Stop."

Willow instantly closed her mouth, her lips a thin line as she gave Buffy one of her most apologetic expressions.

"Sorry, Buffy," she said, barely opening her mouth.

With a sigh, Buffy stopped walking, once again running her hand through her hair and instantly thinking about how Faith did that very thing whenever she was nervous or agitated. Maybe it was contagious. Maybe Faith was infecting her with. . .well, with anything Buffy could think of to blame her for; like being gay for example. It had started with Faith. Faith had infected her with gay thoughts, so in reality this whole situation was Faith's fault.

She wished that theory would stick, but it wasn't exactly fair.

"It's ok," Buffy murmured with a sigh. "It is my fault, and I'm stuck in it and don't know how to not be. It's a big, sticky mess."

Buffy couldn't even look in her friend's eyes, too busy gazing at her shoes and letting her worries sit heavy on her brow.

"Wish I could help," Willow offered, lifting her hand and giving Buffy's arm a quick squeeze. "You know I'm here whenever you want to talk."

"I wouldn't even know where to start," Buffy confessed. "I was stupid not realizing it would get this hard, or messed up."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"You can find a time machine so I can go back and not get myself into this situation," Buffy said with a wry chuckle. "Actually no, I'm glad I met Tru, and I'm glad we. . ."

A smile drifted over her lips as she thought about their last night together and the way they'd touched each other and. . .

"I know that grin," Willow stated, pointing at Buffy. "You. . .you had sex with her didn't you!"

Buffy couldn't help but blush in reply as Willow practically jumped up and down on the spot in celebration.

"Tru may indeed have seen me out of my overly cute pajamas," she said, trying to sound unfazed, her grin only growing wider.

Willow did a little squee noise as they began walking again.

"Was it. . .good?" she asked, clearly forgetting to be embarrassed about the whole sex-topic thing.

With a broad smile Buffy answered, "It was. . ."

She thought about everything it had been, and it had most definitely been good – great even – but it hadn't really been all about Tru. She'd came thinking about Faith, and even though it had been special, the almost-sex with Faith had blown her away more. She couldn't very well tell Willow that, though.

"It was nice," Buffy continued, her smile faltering only slightly "Great in fact."

Giving her a sceptical look, Willow narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"You don't sound too sure," she pressed. "Was it not what you wanted? Or is it more of a Faith thing?"

Buffy was surprised at Willow's guessing, but Willow knew her well – probably too well.

"I wanted it," Buffy assured, letting herself remember how good it felt to touch Tru and be touched back. "But. . .it's Faith."

"What about Faith?"

"Everything," Buffy replied with a sigh. "We almost. . .yunno, did it. And I rushed up to LA right after, but I couldn't get her out of my head."

Clinging tight to the straps of her backpack as it hung low on her back, Buffy did her best not to look at Willow. She didn't need to feel more guilty and terrible than she already did. She didn't need to see judgment.

"Wait, you and Faith? You and Faith nearly. . .with the touching and the. . .oh boy."

Stealing a quick glance at Willow, Buffy saw no judgment, only blinking, disbelieving eyes that were staring straight ahead. She obviously hadn't thought of that scenario.

"Yeah," Buffy confirmed quietly, hoping her friend wasn't going to explode at any moment. "Things got a little out of hand."

Their pace was slow but they'd be reaching the diner soon and Buffy was actually finding talking about the problem better than just burying it. She pulled Willow aside softly and stopped walking.

"Don't say anything to her," Buffy requested. "We talked about it and it's not going to happen again."

Willow looked almost disappointed at that, the corners of her mouth turning down as she formulated all kinds of questions in her brain.

"Do you want it to happen again?" she asked, sounding almost afraid of Buffy's reaction.

Buffy rubbed at her forehead, trying to prise the answer out, but it was being stubborn as it switched its mind over and over.

"No," she finally answered. "And sometimes yes."

Willow sighed in consternation on Buffy's behalf, rubbing Buffy's upper arm in a soothing way.

"You don't know what you want, do you, Buff?"

With a chuckle, Buffy shook her head no.

"I keep thinking that I do," Buffy told her, "but then I don't. It's not like I don't wanna be with Tru, because I do. I really, really do. But I've always had this thing for Faith – even through the bad times – and it's hard to just forget it was ever there and move on, especially now that she's back."

"And especially now that you're having all the semi-sex with her?"

"Exactly," Buffy responded, letting Willow's light chuckle lift her spirits. "But that won't be repeated. I won't cheat on Tru."

"Even though you kinda love Faith?" Willow asked tentatively.

"You caught that the other night huh," Buffy conceded, remembering the little slip of her tongue while they were at the Bronze.

"I think I heard right," Willow stated. "Unless I imagined you saying you'd fallen for her before."

It would probably have been easier on her to lie her way out of that – she'd become very good at lying lately – but that wouldn't achieve anything. There was no point in deceiving her best friend.

"You heard right; she was captivating, dangerous, beautiful, and I couldn't help myself," Buffy said, her voice barely audible over the passing traffic.

"It must have really hurt when she turned on us all – turned on you," Willow reminded Buffy.

With a sad smile Buffy nodded her head.

"I'd never felt that betrayed before," she confessed. "When she came out of her coma and did what she did; it hurt so much."

Without realising she'd done it, Buffy gripped at her chest with her hand, feeling the remnants of the broken heart Faith had left behind in her determination to destroy everything around her.

"And that's why you can't forgive her," Willow stated despondently.

There was no response to that. In a way Willow was right; there was no way Buffy could brush all that hurt and anguish aside. But it wasn't that simple. It wasn't black and white. She couldn't help but have feelings for Faith that she knew would burn her in the end.

She shrugged and refused to decide if there ever would be room for forgiveness or not.

As they reached the diner, Willow glanced through the windows. Tara wasn't there yet so they shuffled through the door and found some seats. They ordered drinks and decided they'd wait for Tara before getting anything to eat. It was a warm day and most people were outside, but Willow wasn't a fan of the sun; red hair and fair skin made her panic on overly bright days. She'd get blotchy before the sunlight even reached her, hence the propensity for clothing that covered as much as possible, even during the hottest of summers.

"She must be running late," Willow said calmly, then a little more anxiously added, "Unless something's happened. You don't think something's happened do you?"

Willow fidgeted with the condiments on the table as she peered outside through the large window. It was kind of sweet; how she was completely enthralled by Tara, every thought bringing her back to her.

Buffy wished she could be that way with Faith, without it being weird, or difficult, dangerous, or just plain stupid. When Willow thought of Tara it was happy thoughts, or concerned thoughts - the thoughts of love. When Buffy thought of Faith she didn't smile, she grimaced and worried about their next fight. Though Faith made her heart skip and her stomach twist, there was no chance it would ever be the kind of relationship Willow had with Tara, and that's what made her resolute in her need to keep away from her. She couldn't afford to have her heart skip and trick her this time.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" Buffy asked as she played with the straw in her cold glass of coke.

"In general?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes at Willow. "No, I mean for dating Tru."

"Crazy is probably a little harsh," Willow responded, sounding unsure. "I'd go with zany, and possibly wacky. But a pretty girl can make anybody a little wacky, just ask Xander."

They chuckled and Buffy found herself feeling less and less weird about the fact she was having these thoughts and feelings about girls and not boys. That fact had become lost in the rest of the craziness, but it was still new, and still made her scratch her head and wonder about how quickly her life had seemed to change in the last few weeks. Though if she were being honest with herself it had started changing ever since Faith's first arrival in Sunnydale. She had been the catalyst of so many things for Buffy. The instigator, the cause, the reason.

"Sometimes it feels like this is all happening to somebody else," Buffy said vaguely, staring into her glass at the quickly melting ice cubes. "And I keep wanting to tell this other person what to do – what seems right – but. . ."

"But it's not somebody else, it's you," Willow finished for her. They both stared at the ice as it cracked and glistened under a fine sheen of brown liquid. "And you still have feelings for Faith."

"Feelings for Faith?" a voice asked behind them.

Both Willow and Buffy whipped their heads around and Buffy silently chastised herself for not getting them a view of the door.

"Xander!" Willow yelped. "I didn't. . .that was. . ."

Willow's eyes snapped towards Buffy, searching for help. With a sigh, Buffy just shrugged. There really didn't seem to be a way of twisting what he'd overheard so that he didn't find out just how zany-wacky Buffy was right now.

"I was just telling Buffy a story – a dream in fact," Willow continued enthusiastically. "There were vampires, and Faith was one, and Buffy had _bad_ feelings about her and wanted to slay her. Not good feelings. In fact, there might not have been any feelings at all."

"Will," Xander interrupted as he slid into a seat at the table, "you're forgetting that I know you too well, and that right there was a babble. A babble of lies. Like a web of lies but with less spiders."

"I wasn't lying I was just. . ."

"Willow, it's ok," Buffy interrupted with a sigh. "I shouldn't be making things worse by keeping even more secrets. Even though his head might explode I think it's time to tell Xander."

Willow looked at Xander with a frown; worry etched into her face.

"Are you sure?" she asked as Xander glanced between them both, practically wriggling in his seat as he waited to be let in on the secret.

"Yes, she's sure, she's definitely sure. . .now what is it?" he asked with a goofy grin.

"Maybe we should do this somewhere safer," Willow insisted. "Or maybe he should lay down first; this floor looks kinda hard."

Both Willow and Buffy looked down at the tiled floor and nodded in agreement that it did indeed look rather un-bouncy, but there was no good time for this.

"I'm crazy," Buffy stated frankly before taking a long sip of her drink.

"That's not new news," Xander responded, quirking up an eyebrow.

"She's crazy and gay," Willow added. "Or at least gay for Faith."

Xander's other eyebrow quirked up and he slowly looked at both Willow and Buffy. His fingers went to the top of his arm and he started roughly grabbing at his skin.

"You're not dreaming, you can stop pinching yourself," Buffy told him. "And I'm not gay, I'm just. . ."

"Gay for Faith," Willow said yet again.

"Ok, if she says that one more time I'm calling Giles and making sure we haven't all just been sucked into a parallel dimension in which all my dreams come true," Xander said, dreamily.

"Wait, you've thought about this?" Buffy asked, surprised that he wasn't freaking out.

"One night I thought about it at least three times, in a row," he admitted, gazing off into space, apparently oblivious to his audience as he reminisced.

"I have no words for that," Buffy said, stirring her coke with her straw.

"Now I wish _I_ had a time machine so I could go back and un-hear that," Willow said wistfully.

"Oops," Xander muttered, giving a little shrug. "So anyway. . .what's the what? I thought you and Faith were all about the hate part of love and hate."

"I don't hate her," Buffy pointed out, her voice sad and quiet as she thought about what her past relationship had been with Faith.

Had it always appeared so awful? They'd had fun times, but she doubted anybody else had paid much attention to those parts – just the fighting and the betrayal parts.

"We were always kinda complicated," she continued. "Now more so than ever."

"There always seemed to be lotsa friction between you," Xander commented. "Is there more of that now? Friction. Chaffing. Rubbing?"

Willow slapped him around the back of the head and gave him a stern look, but Buffy couldn't help but laugh.

"I expected you to be more shocked than this, or angry, or. . .jealous maybe," Buffy said to him.

"Nah," he responded cheerily, "me and Faith were just. . .well a few seconds of awkward wriggling, mild horror and confusion doesn't exactly make a guy long for a repeat performance. And I always thought there was something under the surface of the punching and stabbing between you. Call it instinct."

"I think it's more perv-stinct than instinct, Xander," Willow remarked.

He took it on the chin and chuckled.

"Seriously though, Buff," he began, turning to Buffy and smiling gently at her, "as long as you're happy, and as long as I don't catch the gay bug you guys seem to be passing around, I'm ok with it."

"You might not be if you hear the rest of the story," Buffy warned him, taking a deep breath and wondering if maybe she should keep Tru out of it.

Xander laid his hand on Buffy's back, looking into her eyes so she could see the truth in them.

"Buffy, you'll always be my hero," he said softly. "You can tell me everything. I promise I won't even faint a little bit."

Buffy smiled and felt warmed by his friendship. He was a good guy and had always been there for her, or nearby cowering in a corner and cheering her on.

After taking a sighing breath she told him everything that Willow knew, leaving out a few details that may have sent his libido into hyperspace. He listened intently, making sympathetic noises and telling her he understood. She didn't know how anybody could understand, or even like her after what she'd been doing, but his loyalty was unwavering.

"And Faith still wants to be with you even though you're with her sister?" Xander asked once Buffy was done telling her tale.

"After the last time we spoke. . .I don't know," Buffy replied, staring down at the few grains of salt Willow had spilled on the table. "It's probably a good thing if she doesn't."

"Well it sounds like you're pretty wrapped up with Tru anyway," Xander pointed out. "And she sounds really nice."

He gave Buffy a gentle smile and she couldn't help but nod in agreement. Tru _was_ nice, and she was right to concentrate on her and not Faith. It was the right choice.

So why did she still have a ball of angst in the bottom of her tummy?

"She's more than nice," Buffy told him. "She's everything I could ask for. . .in a girl. Which sounds really weird coming from me, but I like the girl part of it."

She dropped her eyes to the table, blushing slightly. Maybe one day she'd get used to this new element of her, but right now it still made her feel a bit wobbly.

"Hey, I fully understand liking the girly parts," Xander agreed, causing Willow to splutter her lemonade. "Not those girly parts, pervert. I was just agreeing with Buffy."

"No," Buffy interrupted, "you're totally right about the girly parts. They're pretty much totally appealing, in all the pervy ways."

They all chuckled and Buffy took a moment just to watch her friends as they laughed and grinned and slapped each other on the back. This would never get old. They made Sunnydale much more bearable than it should have been. They made her feel safe in amongst the demons and the self-imposed angst.

After a few moments of smile-y silence, Xander took a swig of Willow's drink, then proceeded to ask more questions.

"So if you're avoiding Faith, does that mean _we_ have to avoid Faith?" he asked. "'Cause she's got an Xbox and some of the coolest games, and a TV that's almost the size of my basement."

Buffy smiled and shook her head. "You don't have to avoid her," she assured. "But I won't be 'hanging out' with her anytime soon. I need to. . ."

She wasn't even sure what she needed to do, or not do. She just knew that being around Faith right now was too hard, and too tempting, and too dangerous.

"Maybe. . ." Willow began timidly, "maybe that means you're not making the right decisions."

Lifting her head to look fully at Willow, Buffy furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?" she asked, intrigued.

"I mean, if you're having to avoid her, surely that means. . .you're not really happy picking Tru."

With a groan, Buffy rubbed the back of her neck, feeling a tension headache beginning to work its way up from her spine. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was constantly questioning herself, now her friends were questioning her, and making her think too much.

"I just know that when Faith and I are together, we end up fighting," Buffy pointed out.

"Not just fighting," Willow added, refusing to look in Buffy's eyes.

"But that was a mistake," Buffy insisted.

"A mistake you're worried you'll make again because you still like Faith."

"I don't like Faith," Buffy mumbled unconvincingly, "She's just. . ."

"Who you really want to be with," Willow stated.

Xander swung his head from Buffy back to Willow as if he were watching a tennis match from the sidelines, obviously trying to keep up.

"Ok, ok," he interjected. "Color me confused but it totally sounds like you want Buffy to pick Faith," he said to Willow.

"Not exactly," Willow answered, with a less than persuasive shrug. "I just think that sometimes. . .you shouldn't fight the inevitable just because it might be harder than the other options."

"Harder doesn't even cover it," Buffy commented sadly. "I can't be with Faith. I just can't."

Buffy had the urge to get up and run from the conversation. She didn't want her decision making questioned or put in the spotlight. No matter how crazy it all sounded to everybody else, Buffy knew what she had to do for the sake of her heart. For the sake of her sanity.

But her friends weren't done with toying with her sanity.

"Why?" Willow pushed, her voice more timid now as she drew closer to Buffy's storm-out point. "I mean, how do you feel. . .about them both?"

"Hey, maybe you could make a pros and cons list," Xander suggested.

"I think not," Buffy responded, giving him an amused looked. She didn't need convincing of the fact that Faith was no good for her, she knew it already. Seeing it in black and white would only depress her more.

"Maybe you don't need to make a list but saying out loud how you feel might help make it clearer," Willow advised. "When I'm muddled up about what to have for dinner, Tara makes me vocalise my feelings about it."

"No offence, Will," Buffy began, "but deciding what to have for dinner doesn't exactly compare to choosing which hot twin I should date."

Xander chuckled to himself and grinned at Buffy.

"You should say that sentence in my vicinity everyday," he said, continuing to grin.

"Stop being such a perv," Willow warned, stepping on his toe under the table.

He jerked his leg upwards and banged his knee on the table, causing a few other patrons to glance in their direction.

"I can't help it, it comes with the genetics," he said confidently. "Seriously though, Willow's got a point, about the talking things out thing."

Willow smiled smugly at Buffy.

"Fine," Buffy conceded. "How do I do this?"

"Well," Willow began, "empty your mind and just say what you feel. How do you feel about Tru for a start?"

Xander leaned forward on his elbows, chin resting on his palms as he gave Buffy his undivided attention. It almost made Buffy want to stamp on his other toe, but slayer-style stamping would have had him hobbling around for at least a month, so she refrained.

With a weary breath, Buffy tried to clear her mind, focusing on Tru and what it was about her that she found attractive. The obvious first thoughts were of her physical beauty, but she needed to base this off more than the obvious.

"Tru is. . ." Buffy paused, remembering their few times together, "she's easy to be with. She makes me feel safe, and I laugh a lot with her."

Both Xander and Willow nodded, eager eyes expecting her to continue.

"She does this little thing when she smiles," Buffy continued, dreamily. "Like she's shy about smiling, but she shouldn't be because she has a beautiful smile, all dimples and softness. Oh. . .and softness," Buffy blurted, getting into it now, "she's soft – all over - and gentle, and kind, and considerate."

With a little happy sigh she drifted off into her own secret fantasy about her girlfriend, forgetting for a moment – until Xander broke her reverie – that she wasn't alone.

"Ok, she sounds perfect to me," Xander said. "Maybe I could swap Anya for her. Not that I don't love Anya, 'cause I do, but your girl sounds. . ."

He gave his own happy sigh and Buffy raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"Plus, she's hot," Buffy added as she watched Xander start to daydream.

"But so is Faith," Willow butted in. "How do you feel about _her_?"

Swirling the forlorn remains of the ice in her glass with her straw, Buffy tried to find words that expressed just how Faith made her feel. Most of her feelings were tainted with ugly reminders of bitter fights and nasty words said between them. It was hard to quantify just what moved her about Faith; there were so many contradictions inside her.

"How do I feel? I feel everything from pain, anger, hurt, lust, desire. . ." she tried to explain. "She makes me feel like I'm falling from a rooftop. Like every heartbeat could be my last, and every touch. . .all that I need."

She pushed her empty glass away and refused to let her own words sway her. She knew she needed more than what Faith could offer her.

"The way she makes me feel. . .it's dangerous," she continued quietly, looking down at a stain on the table. "It's too dangerous to feel that. To feel like I want every breath to be full of her. To be so wrapped up in her that I can't think straight. We're bad for each other, even though all it takes is one look from her to make me ache inside."

There was more she could say, or try to explain, but her heart was in her mouth and her head was beginning to spin. There was no doubt that Faith moved her in ways Tru probably never could, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing. It wasn't good for her.

"That sounds like a tragic movie," Xander spoke softly. "Or one of those English novels they try to make you read in high school."

"It doesn't have to be tragic," Willow said when Buffy nodded at Xander's analogy. "Maybe it's just. . .difficult to understand."

"Oh it's difficult alright," Buffy said. "Too difficult."

Though Willow's suggestion to air her feelings was a good one, a helpful one, it had only managed to prove to Buffy that Tru was the girl for her. At least for now.

She knew – given time – she could fall for Tru. They would be happy together; and though there wasn't the passion there that she had with Faith, it was still good. It was better than battling and fighting, and feeling like she was free falling through shards of glass every time Faith tugged on her soul.

"Well, as much as I like Faith – now," Xander said, giving Buffy a bump with his shoulder. "It sounds like the safer option is Tru, and I'm all for my Buffster being in safe hands."

Buffy gave him a grateful smile and felt a little better for having his backing.

"But safe isn't always. . .well, safe," Willow pointed out. "And it sounds to me like you'll always want Faith in some way. Maybe Tru isn't the better option, for both your sakes."

With a groan Buffy laid her head on the tabletop, wishing she didn't have these difficult situations thrust her way so often; trust Willow to prod at her brain and make her think too hard again. Killing demons and vampires was easy compared to trying to figure out her love life.

"No, there's no way I can be with Faith," Buffy assured, lifting her head and trying to ignore Willow's disappointed grimace. "I want her too much to be with her; it would never work."

"How exactly does that make sense?" Willow asked, still grimacing.

"It just does," Buffy said firmly. "When you want something that bad. . .it never lives up to expectations. We'd both be disappointed, and then we'd fight, and then. . ."

"Faith isn't exactly the most stable of people," Xander declared.

"Exactly," Buffy agreed, sitting taller in her chair again. "She's not stable, and Tru is."

Willow sighed and scuffed her feet on the tiled floor. She was about to say more, probably about to refute everything that Buffy was intent on thinking, but then Tara strolled up behind them, giving them a little wave and a cheery smile as she rounded the table.

A little grumble did slip from Willow's lips, however. Buffy heard it as clear as day, even if the rest of the gang were oblivious.

"But it's Faith you love," she'd said, and it buzzed around Buffy's brain like a frightened bee.

No amount of love – no matter how ingrained – could convince Buffy that choosing Faith was the right thing to do. She'd still love her as there was no killing that particular feeling, despite how hard she'd tried to stamp on it, but she'd do it from a safe distance, in much safer arms.

Arms that reminded her of Faith, but that also reminded her of how incompatible to Faith she was.

"I'm just gonna go call Tru," Buffy said, as Tara took a seat and began reading over the menu Willow handed her. "I need to tell her something."

* * *

TBC…


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Flipping her hair over her shoulder as she laughed and joked with her friends, Buffy allowed herself just to enjoy a moment to appreciate what she had. Her life could have been so much worse without her friends; hell, they had proof of that thanks to a certain vengeance demon. There was no escaping that fact, and even if their continued interest in all things Faith was now driving a small wedge between them, she knew the damage wasn't irreparable.

She strolled slowly through campus grounds back to class with Tara and Willow, listening to their chatter and enjoying the jokes they could all share. She'd called Tru in the hopes of just hearing her voice, and telling her that she was her choice, but she'd had to make do with leaving her a message about going to see her on Saturday. In hindsight it was probably a good thing as Tru wouldn't have been aware that Buffy had needed to choose. She didn't know about Faith, and as far as Buffy was concerned that was for the best, for now.

Buffy didn't want her time with Tru spoiled by jealousy or doubt. They had a good thing; it was promising, and something Buffy felt good about – when she managed to shut everything else out.

Xander had trudged back to work after Buffy had returned to her friends, grumbling about Anya wanting him to buy her shiny things. He'd given Buffy a massive hug before leaving, whispering in her ear that he was there for her no matter her choices. It'd made her smile and look forward to seeing Tru that weekend, rather than looking back over the things Faith had said to her.

She had to think positively, and for herself. Dwelling on the past was no longer an option.

"Oh look, isn't that Fry? Riley's friend?" Willow pointed out, nodding her head towards a tall, athletic looking guy as he struggled to keep his books all in his bag as they tumbled to the floor.

"Yeah," Buffy mumbled, furrowing her brow.

Apparently the past wasn't quite done being dwelled on as she suddenly realised she hadn't heard from Riley since their uncomfortable break up. Not that she expected them to be all pally and nice with one another after his reaction, but she hadn't seen him at all. Anywhere.

"I'll catch up in a minute," Buffy told Willow and Tara as she began walking towards Fry.

They nodded and told her not to be late again and she gave them a quick smile and wink. They knew her too well.

"Hey," Buffy called out to Fry as she got closer.

She waved at him and hoped he remembered her; they'd only met each other a few times. In fact, they hadn't really 'met' at all. She'd bumped into him on occasion when leaving Riley's room in the morning. He'd caught her wearing nothing but Riley's shirt one particular morning as she'd padded towards the bathroom. Thankfully he'd chosen not to be crude, or to giggle at her, so she didn't feel too weird about talking to him now.

"Oh, hey," he called back, shoving the last fallen book back into his bag. "It's Buffy isn't it? Riley's girlfriend."

Buffy tried not to pull a yuck-face.

"Yes, and no," she said. "I'm Buffy but. . .I'm not with Riley now."

She watched as he continued to struggle with his bag. He jostled and wriggled it, trying to close the zip on a book corner that refused to budge.

"Do you need a hand with that?" she asked, getting aggravated on his behalf.

"No, it's ok," he sighed. "All these classes. . .and I have no idea what I'm doing anymore."

Buffy chuckled and bent to pick up an errant pencil from the ground, handing it to him with a smile.

"I know what you mean," she agreed. "I thought college was supposed to be fun, dancing, partying and unsatisfying sexual encounters, not hours spent watching people snooze in a stale lecture hall that smells like the wrong end of a camel."

He laughed and Buffy found herself enjoying the sound of it. She didn't know him and probably would never talk to him again, but he seemed nice, and it felt good talking to somebody who didn't know how messed up she was right now. It was almost like when she'd first met Riley, but Fry wasn't quite as handsome, and he definitely had a dorky edge to him. She wondered if he was the same type of soldier as Riley, or maybe he worked at a desk. She'd seen him in uniform so he had to have some involvement with the Initiative despite his less than Marine-like persona.

"So you're. . .not with Riley anymore?" he asked, practically stuttering his words as he flung the bag over his shoulder, sending a pair of gym shorts flying from it towards a bench full of students.

Buffy's eyes went wide, but the shorts fell short of actually attacking somebody so she decided not to point it out to Fry.

"Are you going this way?" she asked him, beginning to walk towards the main building. He nodded and they walked together. "And no, we're not together anymore. We broke up."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Fry said politely.

"It's ok, it was just one of those things," Buffy responded. "I haven't seen him around lately though, is he ok?"

He gave her a puzzled look and shrugged.

"To be honest, I haven't seen him around in a while either. He kinda. . .disappeared."

Buffy stopped walking, causing Fry to stop beside her like a little puppy waiting to be lead.

"Disappeared?" Buffy questioned. Disappeared didn't sound good. "When did you last see him?"

"He went on leave for a few days maybe two weeks ago," Fry answered. "But he never came back far as I know."

Two weeks ago would have been around the time Buffy dumped him, which made Buffy feel somewhat guilty, and worried. He hadn't seemed himself at all that day, and though she'd avoided going to see him to save herself from further arguments, now she just felt bad about it. She'd hurt him and then just left him to deal with it.

Rubbing at her brow, Buffy tried not to appear as guilty as she felt but there was no escaping the fact she'd been incredibly unfair, and selfish.

"Aren't his. . .bosses wondering where he is?" she asked, not knowing exactly who was in charge of him and what she should call them.

"Yeah, the Colonel is pissed - excuse my French – and if Riley doesn't show up soon he's gonna land his ass in jail – military style."

Buffy formed a perfect oh shape with her mouth, but no sound came out.

Riley was AWOL, and it was all her fault. He was out there, who knows where, doing God knows what, and after their last encounter - where he seemed all tweaked out on enhancement drugs - it wasn't a good situation.

"Did he go home?" Buffy asked.

"Not that I know," Fry replied, shrugging his bag further onto his shoulder and causing a greying sock to dangle out past the broken zipper.

Buffy eyed the sock and tried not to wonder what it smelled like, moving slowly towards the building again with Fry in tow.

"Nobody seems to know where he is. He just didn't come back."

There were a hundred questions she wanted to ask, but the Initiative were a suspicious bunch and she didn't want to imply that maybe it was her fault they'd now lost one of their best soldiers. It might not have been her fault at all; he could have been captured by demons, or worse. There could be a Riley shaped vampire roaming about somewhere she hadn't been in the last two weeks whilst being preoccupied with Tru and Faith, and now she'd have to go hunting for him slayer-style in order to. . .she didn't even want to think about it.

"Let me give you my number," Buffy said hurriedly as they reached the entrance.

His blue eyes lit up and she tried not to feel smug but her cute little half-smile slipped out, making him grin and look excited, like a Labrador.

"I want you to call me when he turns up, but don't tell him I asked you to do that," she told him, handing him a piece of paper with her number on it.

"Oh, um, ok," he said, his chest deflating as he looked about awkwardly.

He seemed unsure, his ego probably a little bruised, so Buffy looked up through her lashes and gave him an even sweeter smile.

"I just wanna make sure he's ok, so I can move on," she said, giving him an encouraging look.

"Well I'll. . .definitely, um, call you," he stammered, running a hand over his short, sandy brown hair. "And maybe we could go out for a. . ."

"Damn, is that the time?" Buffy said hurriedly, interrupting his flow. "I have class to get to, but we'll talk, ok? Just let me know when you see Riley."

Fry opened his mouth to speak but Buffy turned and headed into the building before he could start asking her out again. The last thing she needed was yet another person vying for her affection.

Once in class she worried about Riley. Then out of class she worried about Riley. Eating dinner she worried. . .if it was possible to get any nutrients at all from a few pieces of rubbery chicken and some stringy noodles that looked like they'd been found lying in a puddle somewhere. This wasn't healthy. Nothing about her life seemed healthy right then. Her mind was muddled, her nerves frayed, and her tummy almost constantly hungry. Even slaying wasn't as fulfilling as it normally was. Nothing in her life felt comfortable; it was all sharp and edgy, and just waiting to trip her up and laugh at her as she fell face first into some mud.

For a control freak she was frighteningly _not_ in control. All decisions aside, she was still being pulled this way and that, tossed around by her own inability to settle for what she'd had to begin with. She didn't know which way up she was going to land, but it was time to stop just letting things happen to her.

After finishing her meagre dinner, doing her homework, then changing to patrol, Buffy stowed a few extra stakes inside her jacket and set off to do her duty. She also had somebody to find, and though she had no leads yet, she knew just where to find some. She had to convince Willow not to come with her that night, so it was just her and the encroaching darkness, and a sense of conviction that had her striding towards Spike's tomb.

She didn't knock when she reached the heavy door. Instead she yanked it open and stormed inside without warning, almost expecting to find Faith lounging around amongst the shadows, watching the battered old TV that usually flickered in the corner. But Faith wasn't there – much to her relief – and neither was Spike.

"Damnit," Buffy muttered, peering around corners and looking in places she'd rather not look. "Now where would a skinny vampire with no life – no pun intended – go when he's not mooching around me?"

With a quick scratch of her head, Buffy bolted for the door. In her haste she forgot to close it behind her, but she doubted Spike would mind a few families of stray cats crawling into his home in search of comfy looking places to perch their furry behinds.

On second thought. . .

She turned back and slammed the door shut, making sure no cats could enter. He'd only use them to gamble with and she didn't want that sat on her conscience. The last thing she needed to worry about were pies full of kittens she'd sent to their demise.

Taking a shortcut through the graveyard, making sure to keep her eye open for vampires she could actually stake, Buffy headed towards the dark alleys of Sunnydale's less desirable side of town.

Faith had once lived nearby, in the rotten motel that Buffy had hated having to go anywhere near. There would always be scantily clad women disappearing into rooms with furtive looking balding men at that particular motel. Dodgy, shifty eyed guys wearing too much gold would loiter against cars that would have lost their wheels in minutes had they been left unattended.

Thinking about it, Buffy wondered how Faith had coped living there for so long. Sixteen, maybe seventeen years old. . .and completely alone in a place most normal people would avoid at all costs. It couldn't have been nice, and Buffy felt a pang of remorse pinch at her insides. She tried to ignore it. After all, Faith could have asked for help if she'd needed it. She could have asked Giles, or Wesley when he'd arrived.

Huffing out a chuckle, Buffy realised how stupid it was expecting Faith to ask for help if she needed it, especially from the likes of Giles or Wesley. As soon as Wesley had arrived he'd tried to break Faith. He'd done a good job by the end too; deciding to treat her with contempt after the mistakes she'd made, rather than be there for her and help her without her needing to ask. Willow was right, they'd failed Faith. They all had failed her in some way; leaving her where she was, not worrying when she didn't turn up for patrol or at the library, expecting her to just fit in and do what they asked, when they needed.

Buffy slowed her pace as she drew closer to her destination, remembering how many times she'd wanted to reach her hand out to Faith in the past. But when she _had_ reached, Faith had slapped it away, so surely she couldn't be blamed for how far off the rails Faith had gone. Surely she'd tried enough.

Had she really tried enough? Had she really been there for Faith at all? Too occupied with Angel, with appearing to be the 'good one', with feeling jealous at the attention Faith got, with everything but what she should have been occupied with. Yeah, she'd made her own mistakes, and now she was paying for them. There was no escaping the guilt she felt about the past, and about what she was doing now. It was like walking through tar but wanting to run. She was stuck in the middle of it all, each step sapping all her strength. Each step taking her further and further into the quagmire that was the mess she had made of her life.

As she reached the flickering sign above a murky door, Buffy rolled her shoulders, attempting to relax and find her inner confidence. She couldn't afford to keep re-hashing everything. She had a job to do.

Pushing open the door, she entered Willy's bar, quickly scanning the area ahead of her and peering into the dark shadows as she stepped further inside. There were very few people – or demons in fact – sat around the tables clutching drinks, but every one of them looked her way. She could feel their eyes roaming over her, and their defences prickling, muscles twitching in either fear or eagerness to kill, kill, kill the human. The slayer.

She narrowed her eyes and stood as tall as her paltry height allowed, daring any one of them to make a move. It wasn't the first time she'd been in that bar and she doubted it would be the last. On each visit she'd endured the sudden silence as she walked in, and then the hushed voices and grunts of disapproval as she refused to be intimidated enough to walk back out. There was always a purpose to her visits and today was no different.

Walking purposefully towards the bar, Buffy glanced around again, feeling both relieved and disappointed that Riley wasn't there. Spike had told her he liked to hang out there sometimes, but finding him right away would obviously have been too easy. There was no sign of him, or any other human. At the end of the bar, bottle of beer in hand, Spike sat. He was perched on a barstool, his eyes turned toward Willy has he pretended they were deep in conversation. She knew they weren't; they'd both ceased to act normally as soon as she'd walked in. Spike's eyes had locked with hers before he'd turned away, pretending not to care she was there.

It was all an act. One she could always see right through.

Sliding onto the barstool next to Spike, Buffy gave Willy a nod as they stopped talking. He gave her an uneasy smile and put down the glass he'd been drying, reaching down to a small refrigerator full of bottled beers. Pulling one out, he snapped the top off and pushed it towards her warily.

"I hope there's not a problem," he said.

"No problem," Buffy responded. "Just passing through."

She took the beer and put it to her lips, her eyes remaining on Willy as she drank some down. He nodded and continued drying glasses, moving further down the bar away from her. He obviously didn't want to risk being asked questions he had no desire to answer. She let him go, but she'd get to him soon enough.

"Passing through?" Spike asked with a chuckle. "That's the best you could come up with?"

Buffy turned in her seat towards him, relaxing her shoulders slightly as the chatter in the room rippled back to life.

"I don't need to explain myself to you, or anyone," she told Spike.

"But you're here for a reason," he supposed cockily. "Unless you've hit hard times and you're out on the prowl, looking for some fun tonight. Did Faith turn you down?"

She shook her head at him in disgust, barely restraining herself from pushing him off his stool to wipe the smug look off his face.

"You know nothing about me and Faith," she told him.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," he mocked before taking a swig of his beer.

She grabbed the bottle out of his hand and away from his lips, causing a dribble of the golden liquid to trickle down his chin.

"Hey, what's the big. . ."

"Quit being smart," she seethed. "Whatever game it is you're playing with Faith, I don't wanna hear about it. I don't care. I don't care about you, and I don't care about what you do together."

She felt her blood boiling with each lie, her fingers gripping the bottle hard as she looked into his steely, stubborn blue eyes. As his lip began to curl into a smirk, she tightened her grip further, shattering the bottle over the top of the bar. All heads turned her way but she kept her eyes on Spike, opening her hand and letting the shards of glass tinkle from her palm to join the rest in the small puddle of beer on the cracked wood of the counter.

Shuffling a little further towards Spike, Buffy narrowed her eyes and spoke quietly.

"I'll say it one more time, Spike. I don't care."

She wondered if he could sniff out lies; if he had the ability to taste the subtle differences of mood in the air. Maybe he could hear her heart as it twitched inside her breast every time she said Faith's name.

"I'm not here to talk about Faith," she told him as he began to look uncomfortable under her gaze. "I'm here to ask you something."

He licked his lips and nodded slowly, flicking his eyes down to the remnants of his bottle.

"Well a guy could get mighty thirsty answering questions, blondie," he said with a complacent grin, pulling out a packet of cigarettes from inside his jacket and fumbling with a match until he had one lit and dangling from his lips.

With an annoyed sigh Buffy pushed her bottle towards him, refusing to go so far as to actually buy him a drink. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"You've got your drink, now talk," she told him, peering into him with her green eyes.

He took a long draw of his cigarette, blowing out the smoke so that it curled around them both as he looked dismissively at her offering.

"Not that I don't like having a nice chinwag now and then, but talk about what exactly?" he asked.

She suddenly realised that she hadn't actually asked him any questions. Feeling a bit silly, she took back the drink he obviously had no interest in and swallowed half of it down, blanching at the bitter aftertaste as it eased over her tongue.

"Don't try to be smart," she said harshly. "I wanna know if you've seen Riley."

Dragging his thumbnail over his jaw as he held his cigarette close to his lips, Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Has the little puppy dog escaped his leash?" he asked with a chuckle. "Can't say I blame him; getting dumped because your girlfriend starts shagging chicks? That would be enough to make any man disappear with his tail between his legs."

"I didn't dump him because. . .ugh, I'm not explaining myself to you," she snapped. "Have you seen him lately or not?"

"Now what in your pretty little head makes you think we bump into each other enough for me to remember when I might have seen him or not? We don't mix in the same circles, him being the type that likes to kill my sort."

"Spike, stop stalling," Buffy interrupted. "You told me he comes in here."

Spike lowered the cigarette from his mouth, stubbing it out in a nearby ashtray as he took an unnecessary breath.

"Well, you've got a point there," he conceded.

"Tell me, when was the last time you saw him, and where."

Playing with the box of matches on the bar, turning it in circles with his long fingers, Spike appeared to give it some thought. He nodded towards Willy, jerking his head for him to come over.

"Willy's probably the man to ask," he said. "I haven't seen Riley in over a week, and that wasn't here. That was out amongst the gravestones as he was skulking around in the dark."

"Problem?" Willy asked as he stopped opposite them.

"Tall soldier-type with a scowl, when was the last time he was here?" Spike asked him.

Willy glanced down at the debris on the bar in front of Buffy, but said nothing as he furrowed his brow in thought.

"Riley? He was here. . ." he scratched at his stomach under a shirt that looked like it had been scrunched in a corner until he'd pulled it on. "He was here maybe six or seven days ago. Didn't look good."

"He didn't look good how?"

"Well, my guess. . .drugs," Willy told Buffy. "He seemed pretty wired; all kindsa edgy."

Buffy felt her stomach drop. He'd acted weird the last time they'd spoken, but she'd put it down to him being upset. Now she wasn't so sure if that had been the only reason.

"Did he say anything, order anything? Do you have any idea where he went after?" she asked.

"He was talking to some guy – a vampire. They talked a while but he didn't drink anything. Not from the bar at least," Willy answered.

"A vampire?" Buffy questioned, practically speaking to herself as she wondered what Riley was up to.

"Yeah, a real handsome one too. All shoulders and tallness, and dark, brooding eyes that. . ."

Spike cleared his throat and gave Willy a funny look.

"Well, you get the idea," Willy finished, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Must be something in the bloody water," Spike muttered under his breath as he gave Buffy a sideways glance. "Everybody's turnin' fruity."

Buffy kicked out at him, striking him in the shin with her toes. He yelped and pouted, but Buffy didn't have time for his particular brand of cute.

"Watch it, momma's boy," she warned. "You don't want me to suddenly remember the stories that Angel told me about you. Fruity doesn't quite cut is as far as I recall."

"Hey, steady on, no need to start getting all personal," he bit, shuffling uncomfortably as he reached for another cigarette. "Why don't we keep the past where it is."

Turning back to Willy, Buffy ignored the puff of smoke that temporarily clouded her vision.

"Have you seen the vampire before, or since?" she asked Willy, beginning to get that bad sensation inside her that warned her of future nastiness and all things evil.

"Honestly, I might have seen him before, but when they all dress alike – no offence, Spike – I lose track," Willy answered.

It wasn't much help but she didn't think he was lying. Of course, she could have leapt over the counter to beat him up a little to make sure, but she didn't want to cause a commotion and end up taking on the rest of the regulars.

"Spike," she said, turning back to the vampire as Willy sidled away. "You got any ideas? Any leads? Something I can beat out of you?"

"Like I said, twinkie," Spike began, making Buffy narrow her eyes at him for using a nickname Faith had used on her far too many times, "I haven't seen Riley around, and you have my word – vampire's honour – that I'll let you know if I do."

"Vampire's have no honour," Buffy reminded him, "but thank you. I'm worried about him."

She looked down at the colourful label of her bottle, peeling at it with her thumbnail as she let the worry sink in. If Riley was in trouble, she'd never forgive herself. Or at least, she'd feel pretty bad about it for a while.

"Yunno, Buffy, you're the first slayer I've ever known to have such a bloody complicated love life," Spike mused, taking Buffy's bottle from her hand and drinking down the rest of its contents.

"You've never known any slayers but me," Buffy pointed out. "You killed all the ones you ever met."

"Well you do have a point there," he conceded sullenly, pushing the now empty bottle away. "Still, sounds to me like you've got yourself all kinds of mixed up on the love front. Not my place to suggest how to solve it of course, but if you wanted to push Faith in my direction to get her outta your hair then I wouldn't discourage such a gesture."

Buffy gave him a look that would have had any mortal shrinking away from her.

"Let me make it clear to you, in case you missed it the first time," she said, lowering her voice almost to a growl. "What she does with her life is none of my business. I don't care what she does or who she. . ."

She felt her heart squeezing in her chest, causing her lungs to demand more air and her head pound. Her hands were in fists and though she hadn't meant to get closer to Spike, she was almost sitting on his lap as she brought their faces close together so he would hear every word. But no matter what she said, it wasn't the truth. He could see that and she knew he could. She could see it in the almost innocent blue of his eyes.

Deciding that she really needed to get out of there before one of them ended up lying on the floor in a pool of their own blood, Buffy sat back again, trying to unclench her fists.

"Just don't touch her," she warned, knowing it would contradict everything she'd said. Knowing that he would probably tell Faith just how bothered she was about the prospect of her getting closer to him. "Don't lay a single, dead finger on her, or you'll lose it, painfully. And that goes for any and all of your parts that you wanna touch her with. She's off limits."

She slid from the stool and made sure she had an unhindered route to the exit before flashing him another warning glare. He opened his mouth to say something smug, but she didn't give him the chance as she quickly turned and headed for the door. He chuckled under his breath but there was no point in continuing their conversation. The more she spoke to him, the more she'd give away her real feelings, and he didn't seem to know anything more about Riley so the best option was to leave, and quickly.

As she left the stale air behind her and headed out into the alley, Buffy took a deep breath, every one of her muscles taut and prepared for a fight. It took all her concentration just to let them relax a little as the twinkling lights from Willy's sign illuminated her path out towards the street.

She didn't hear the door she'd just left through open, but she heard it thud shut, and once again she felt her body stiffen as she stopped short of leaving the alley; every instinct heightened as the slayer within flickered to life.

"You know she's crazy about you right?" came Spike's voice from the doorway.

His feet scuffed along the ground as he drew closer, but Buffy refused to turn around and give him the satisfaction of seeing the desire to know more on her face. She stood with her arms at her side, ready to turn and strike if he got too close.

"She never stops talking about you," he continued, despite her silence. "The bloody stupid bint; she never stops wishing it could be different."

"It can't be different," Buffy said quietly, hating the weakness in her voice. "We can't. . ."

She stopped herself before the words came out as nothing but a sob. She refused to cry, especially in front of Spike.

"Just don't touch her, Spike," Buffy told him once again as he stopped a few feet behind her.

This time her words were soft; almost pleading in their meekness. She turned her head to look at him, forcing herself to appear strong.

"But look out for her," she added, barely audible above the slow roll of traffic in the street beyond.

She kept her eyes locked with his for an almost uncomfortable amount of time, hoping he knew what she meant. Hoping he could see the warning as well as the plea. Faith had clearly told him a lot; she obviously trusted him, and Buffy had to trust in that even though she hated the thought of them being around each other.

"I've got her back," he said, his own hushed tone surprising Buffy.

With a nod she turned away and continued out into the street, her jaw clenched against the torrent of feeling that wanted to escape from her.

But she didn't let it escape; she bottled it up inside and thought about tomorrow. About Tru. About the giggling they'd do, the kissing they'd enjoy, and the stillness she'd find in the midst of the storm inside her.

* * *

TBC…


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

"Hmm, that was good," Buffy murmured sleepily as she stretched out her muscles before draping herself back over Tru.

"If I could think straight I'd agree with words more emphatic than good, but I think you practically killed me," Tru said with a chuckle.

The sheet was tangled at their feet, bodies slick and sticking to each other as the late morning sun crept through the window to bathe them in its warmth. Buffy hadn't planned on having morning-sex with Tru, but they'd been too tired to do anything the night before, and waking up next to a sexy body pushed up against her had made it impossible for Buffy to ignore the tingle it caused.

They'd started kissing, practically still asleep, and one thing lead to another, which lead to more. Two hours later and they were both grinning dreamily. Buffy snuggled closer to Tru – her leg flung over her as Tru lay sprawled out on her back – enjoying the sensations that Tru's fingers and body had left behind. They'd tumbled and rolled around, slipping and sliding and enjoying each other until they'd both come noisily several times.

Though Buffy had held back with her strength, she'd managed to make Tru practically scream out her name in pleasure; using her fingers more skilfully than she'd dared to imagine she could. It had made Buffy's chest swell with pride, as well as some other things she wasn't quite prepared to think about yet. And Tru hadn't let Buffy down when it came to giving back either; Buffy felt wonderfully fulfilled. Tru had sent her to new heights more than once, and though Faith had crept into her mind at the most inappropriate times, she'd done her best just to concentrate on the girl she was with. It had worked for the most part, and Buffy was happy with her progress on that front.

"So are we staying here all day, or do you want to go out, do some shopping? Sightseeing? Eating?" Tru asked, lazily stroking a hand over the thigh draped over her.

Buffy's belly rumbled at the mention of food and they both chuckled lightly.

"I'd love to just stay here," Buffy answered, knowing it was true. She was happy to stay naked with Tru in her bed. "But maybe we could go out for a late breakfast and then come back."

Lifting her head to look down at Tru, Buffy couldn't help but smile. She'd never felt so comfortable with anybody in this way before. Though Buffy was all kinds of sweaty and damp in places it would normally feel quite uncomfortable to be sweaty and damp for too long, she didn't mind at all. Her blonde hair was messy and she knew it must have looked quite a sight, but she didn't care. Tru's hair was also all mussed, and her skin was sticky, but it felt good instead of gross. It all just felt good. And it was because of Tru. . .definitely not the almost unreal likeness she had to Faith.

Something about Tru made Buffy feel at ease. She felt comfortable with this, and comfortable with the way she was beginning to feel. Looking deep into Tru's eyes, Buffy knew she could easily fall for her – it would just be a case of letting go – if it weren't for the fact that Faith still lingered in the back of her mind. She knew she had to dislodge Faith from that spot, but it wasn't going to be easy.

"Maybe breakfast can wait a little longer," Buffy suggested, leaning in to kiss Tru on the lips.

She shifted her weight slightly, moving her leg so it wasn't in the way of her hand as she trailed it down. Down over breasts she'd nibbled and sucked on, over the soft tummy that she'd licked and kissed, down to the place Tru was still wet, still wanting.

As her fingers dipped between swollen folds she coated them in Tru's juices, slipping over her and smiling at the soft moan she was rewarded with. Sliding slowly over Tru, Buffy licked her lips; she wanted to taste what she could feel on her fingers but she didn't feel confident enough yet to try things out with her tongue. The thought of doing it made her even wetter than before, but she was too nervous about doing it badly, especially after Tru had done an amazing job at it herself.

"Oh god, you're insatiable. . .but it's good," Tru mumbled as Buffy's fingertips met Tru's clit in a teasing dance; not hard enough to bring her to orgasm, but just hard enough to feel good.

"And you're sexy," Buffy purred into Tru's ear, kissing her way over it and down to her throat.

Feeling Tru lift her hips up in search of more pressure, Buffy relented a little, circling her fingers over her girlfriend. She sucked on Tru's neck, feeling the quivers that went through her and wishing she was brave enough to do what she really wanted. It had been so good to feel Tru's tongue on her pussy. So good to have it buried inside her, worshiping her. Buffy didn't think she'd felt anything quite as good before in her whole life.

Her brain wanted her to move down and replace her fingers with her mouth, but she couldn't. Instead, she just imagined what it would be like. Buffy imagined how silky it would feel against her lips, how soft, wet, hot. She imagined her tongue sliding inside Tru and drinking her juices as she came.

Just as Buffy almost found the courage to move her kisses and sucking down to where she really wanted to have her mouth, Tru bucked up against her, coming as Buffy skilfully fingered her clit.

"Oh, Buffy," Tru called out, her body shuddering as she came.

Buffy unlatched her mouth from Tru's throat, looking down at her face and loving the way Tru's lips parted as she gasped for air. How her brow creased slightly and her nostrils flared. Buffy didn't want to stop making her come; happy to just watch Tru's reaction and wonder if Faith would look as hot in the same circumstance.

Trying to shake that thought from her head, Buffy kissed Tru hard, plunging her fingers into her to prolong her orgasm; almost coming herself as she felt Tru's pussy clench tight to her digits.

"Come again, Tru," Buffy instructed, whispering into Tru's ear in a way she'd discovered the other girl loved.

Sliding her fingers into Tru and using her thumb to stroke over her now ultra-sensitive clit, Buffy brought her to orgasm again quickly.

"Fuck, that feels good," Buffy groaned as she felt the warmth of Tru's come gush over her fingers. "I wanna feel that on my tongue, and all over my lips."

"Jesus, Buffy," Tru moaned in response, her body stiffening as her orgasm continued to roll through her, taking her breath away.

Her hands gripped hard to Buffy as she rode out the wave of pleasure, every muscle taut, every heartbeat reverberating against Buffy as she pressed close to her to bring their mouths together once more.

Once Tru flopped back – a limp mess from both her last two orgasms and the previous two hours of exploring they'd been enjoying – she ran her hand through Buffy's hair, the most beautiful smile on her face as her brown eyes burned their way into Buffy.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but instead Tru just kept looking at her. Buffy could see something in her eyes, however. Something deeper than she'd seen before. She had an idea what Tru wanted to say, and she felt the same. They were starting to develop feelings for each other; as insane as that seemed so soon, there was definitely something there. Definitely something that Buffy wasn't ready to claim or point out yet.

Giving Tru a sweet smile, Buffy leaned down and kissed her softly, once on the lips, then on the forehead.

"And now I really am starving," Buffy said, slipping her fingers from Tru and doing her best not to ask to be fucked right back. She knew if they were to continue they'd never get up, and things might get said that neither of them were quiet ready for. "We seriously need to get breakfast."

Tru ran her hand over Buffy's thigh, fingertips trying to wander between them. "But what about. . ."

Buffy was tempted, but they could wait until later, when they'd both cooled off a little. . .before things got too intense.

"You can make me come later," Buffy told Tru, brushing her fingers over Tru's naked torso, touching everywhere but her breasts. "We've got all tonight."

"No getting called away?" Tru asked with a sly smile.

"Nope," Buffy replied, mentally crossing her fingers and toes. "So how about we go get food - for the day - and come right back here to eat pizza and watch movies and. . .fuck."

Buffy's own thoughts and words were shocking her a little. Never before had she been this girl; the girl who wanted to do nothing but stay naked with somebody until they were both too tired and sore to move. She'd never just wanted to spend the day having sex, not even with Angel – not even if she'd been able to. Maybe she'd always been waiting for this. For a girl. For a girl that made her feel sexy and comfortable, and ready.

"If you want to," Buffy added a little more shyly as Tru raised a very Faith-like eyebrow.

"It sounds like the perfect day," Tru replied, taking Buffy by surprise by flipping her over and giving her a good, solid kiss on the lips.

Her mouth lingered on Buffy's; lush lips making Buffy melt for their touch as she hummed in appreciation of having Tru's body pressing into her own. All those times with boys, with their rough skin and hard bodies, heavy arms and legs, and stubble that left her feeling chafed just didn't compare. She just couldn't deny that this was better. Hotter. More satisfying.

"Yunno, you kinda surprised me this morning," Tru said as she pulled her lips away, causing Buffy to pout a little. "I know this is still all new for you so I wasn't expecting this so soon."

"This?" Buffy questioned with a small smirk.

She knew what Tru was getting at – they'd only been together a short time, and Buffy wasn't exactly used to being with a girl. But it felt right to Buffy. She wasn't sure how she could explain why, and she didn't want to look too deep into it. She'd never considered herself a sure thing, or easy, or a slave to her desire, but when she was with Tru all she could think about was being intimate with her. It was the same with Faith – more so in fact, which had scared the hell out of her in the past. She couldn't define it, and was too tired of fighting with herself to delay the inevitable.

It didn't really matter if she was all over Tru now, or months down the line when they'd been together longer, she knew what she wanted and wasn't about to waste time waiting. She wasn't about to run in fear like she had done with Faith.

"Spending days in bed together just. . .wearing each other out," Tru continued with a chuckle. "I thought it would take longer to get to this point. Hell, I normally take longer to get to this point."

They both chuckled then, letting the day wash over them as they lay tangled together in messy sheets.

"I guess it just feels right," Buffy said by way of explanation, loving the way Tru's eyes sparkled at her words.

"It does," Tru responded, leaning down for another kiss.

They shared a minute or two of lazy smooches before Tru finally pulled away again, running a hand through her messy, brown hair. Her breasts were smooshed a little into Buffy's and Buffy knew if they didn't move soon, there would be hands disappearing between them, and fingers searching and plunging, and they'd never get breakfast.

"We should go out now so we can get back quicker," Buffy suggested, following Tru's hand up into her hair and pushing the dark locks to the side so she could see Tru's face unhindered.

"I like the way you think. Do you wanna use the shower first?"

"How about we use it together?" Buffy asked, once again shocked at her own forwardness.

With a big smile Tru pushed her way fully off Buffy. "I'll go start it running," she said as she grabbed her robe from a nearby chair and made her way to the bathroom.

Buffy instantly missed her skin, her scent, and lips that she could kiss anytime without worrying about when they might fight next, or argue, or try to kill each other. She watched Tru disappear into the bathroom, a silly grin on her face that she refused to feel subconscious about. There was no way she was going to let Faith spoil what she'd found with Tru just because they were identical sisters and it was a bit weird.

Ok, very weird, but she was trying to ignore that part.

"This isn't a bad thing," Buffy said to herself as she heard the shower start to run in the other room.

Swinging her legs out of bed, she looked around for something to throw on, finding nothing to hand that would make much of a difference to being naked anyway. She supposed it didn't matter if she strolled in there in the buff, as Tru had seen all she had to offer anyway, and visa versa.

Letting her mind wander to the great sex they'd just had, Buffy lifted her fingers to her nose, still feeling the slight stickiness from being inside Tru. Her nipples hardened on instinct as she immersed herself in the scent that came along with the stickiness, closing her eyes and letting herself imagine what it would be like when she finally went that far with Tru. When she breached that final hurdle.

Checking to make sure Tru wasn't yet coming out of the bathroom – guessing she was probably using the toilet – Buffy brought her fingers to her lips, brushing over them before slipping two of them into her mouth. She tasted just the tips but it was enough. Her clit twitched and breath hitched as she allowed herself to become familiar with the slightly salty tang that was Tru's come.

She made an mmm sound and flicked her tongue over her fingertips. There wasn't a single taste bud on her tongue that didn't want more of that and Buffy decided there was no time like the present to go get more. She felt wild in her desire and free to explore it. Pulling her fingers from her mouth she stood, no longer caring that she was completely naked, and began walking towards the bathroom. As Tru pulled the door open and grinned broadly at Buffy's approach, a faint buzzing sound caught their attention.

"Oh no, no, no, no," Buffy groaned. "Just no."

Tru just shook her head with a chuckle and shrugged her shoulders.

"You should get that," she said, nodding towards Buffy's bag, and the vibrating phone within it. "But at least join me for a little while after you take it," she added, letting her robe slide off her shoulders and to the floor as she turned to head into the shower.

A good look at naked Tru-backside and Buffy felt like taking her phone and flinging it out of the window. She didn't want this day spoiled, and she didn't want her weekend cut short once again. She wanted desperately to follow that sexy backside into the bathroom, for groping, and hot sex against the cold tiles. All she wanted to do was bury her face into Tru's pussy and go to town, whether or not she'd be any good at it. Buffy wanted to learn to be good at it, and she wanted it now.

With a little stomp of her foot Buffy walked the short distance to her bag and pulled out her phone. Taking a quick glance at the screen she saw that it was her mother calling – if it had been Giles she might have been tempted to switch it off instead of answer, but she couldn't just ignore her mom. She'd never forgive herself if there was something wrong and she'd been too busy having sexy shenanigans with her secret girlfriend to help.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked curtly as soon as she answered.

"Oh, Buffy, thank God you answered," Joyce said on the other end of the phone, sounding flustered.

Buffy didn't like the way she sounded and instantly felt bad for answering so severely.

"Is everything ok?"

"I'm in a bind, sweetheart, and I hate to interrupt your shopping trip but I desperately need to ask you a favour."

Buffy sighed and sat down on the couch, wincing at the cool material against her bare backside. She waited for her mom to continue as she gripped the phone tight in her annoyance.

"I need to come to LA," Joyce told her. "There's a problem at the new gallery and they're insisting I come there today."

"Can't somebody else deal with whatever problem it is?" Buffy asked, unsure where her mother was going with this.

"No, they need me there," Joyce insisted. "That's not the problem. The problem is Dawn. I can't leave her here alone because I might be back late and after the last time she was here alone on a Saturday I'd rather not risk it. Mrs Houston from next door hasn't been the same since – I don't need another incident like that."

Buffy sighed once more and rolled her eyes. She remembered something about waffles and a fire crew, and Mrs Houston having palpitations as one of said waffles had flown through the air onto her newly laid lawn.

"You seriously want me to come all the way back just to look after Dawn?" Buffy asked, clearly aggravated. "There's gotta be somebody else, anybody but me."

Slumping back into the couch cushions, Buffy felt all the air go out of her lungs. She just wanted to be left alone to live her life, and have a girlfriend, and not have to deal with anything related to Sunnydale and everyone that was in it.

"Well actually I thought I might bring her with me," Joyce offered. "But I can't have her under my feet while I'm dealing with whatever catastrophe Eduardo has created. I need you to let her hang out with you and Cordelia for a few hours."

Buffy blinked and bit her tongue, trying not to swear at her mother because she was pretty sure that kind of thing was frowned upon. She didn't want Dawn hanging anywhere near her, and she couldn't exactly tell her mother why. Joyce thought Buffy was visiting Cordelia, for shopping and a weekend of girly stuff. She had no idea about Tru and the other kind of girly stuff that was really going on.

"But mom!" Buffy whined, feeling like she was twelve again and trying to get out of doing the chores.

"Buffy, I wouldn't ask if I had any other options," Joyce insisted. "I can't ask the neighbours to keep an eye on her anymore."

"That's because she's evil."

"Buffy!" Joyce chastised. "She's just. . .spirited, and strong-willed."

"And demonic."

"I'm setting off in five minutes, Buffy," Joyce continued, ignoring Buffy's grumbles. "I'll call you when we arrive so you can call by the gallery to pick her up. Don't let me down."

Buffy was about to protest some more but her mother obviously wasn't prepared to hear it; she'd put the phone down, leaving Buffy snarling to herself.

Muttering profanities under her breath, Buffy headed towards the bathroom, pushing open the door and stepping into the already steam filled room. She could see Tru's outline in the shower behind the glass door. Tru was washing her hair; hands pushing soap through it as it tumbled over her shoulders and down her back. She was mostly turned away from Buffy but she could see the side of her boob and the slenderness of her stomach and waist, the pert curve of her butt, the sleek line of her legs as she let the water trickle down them.

Feeling a little less angry but somewhat pervy for just watching Tru shower, Buffy tried not to let the guilt in. She couldn't be blamed for finding Tru so attractive, or for wanting her. There wasn't a slither left of her once straight self as she gazed at her girlfriend, and Buffy wanted to be ok with that. Every time they were together it just seemed right, and being ok with it was getting easier and easier.

"Damn, my girlfriend is hot," Buffy said to herself, continuing to leer as she approached the shower.

Without asking permission she pulled open the shower door and stepped inside, instantly wrapping her arms around her lover and pulling her close.

"Problems at home?" Tru asked, leaning back into Buffy.

"Not exactly," Buffy answered, "but we're gonna have some company for a while."

"Company?"

Tru turned to face Buffy so they were wrapped in each other's arms. All the skin on skin action temporarily froze Buffy's brain as she remembered why exactly she'd wanted to shower with Tru in the first place.

"Baby?" Tru pressed, rubbing her nose against Buffy's with a smile. "What do you mean by company?"

"Dawn," Buffy told her, placing a quick kiss on the small dimple in Tru's chin before continuing. "My mom needs me to watch her for a few hours."

Tru knew about Dawn, and knew that Dawn knew about her, but Buffy hadn't exactly explained how Dawn knew. She'd done her best not to talk too much about her family and friends as she didn't want to have to get into the fact she was scared about what would happen if – or when – they all met Tru. But Tru had asked questions, curious to know about Buffy. She'd been keen to hear about her little sister and her mom, and her life in Sunnydale.

"Sorry," Buffy added with a groan. "My mom is bringing her up to LA with her."

She buried her face into Tru's neck, sagging her shoulders and feeling the prospect of all-day sex slip away from them. She hated this sneaking around thing. If her mom had known she was spending the weekend with her girlfriend then she probably wouldn't have called. But her mom didn't know she had a girlfriend and just thinking about telling her made Buffy want to fall on the floor in a heap.

"Hey, it's ok," Tru said, lifting Buffy's chin with her finger, her stunning smile making Buffy's stomach tighten on instinct. "We'll still have tonight right?"

"Definitely," Buffy said with a nod, finding herself falling into Tru's eyes much easier than she should have been comfortable with.

"Then let's shower, get breakfast, and then go meet your mom."

Buffy nodded and allowed Tru to pull her fully under the water with her, but then she realised just what she'd said.

"Oh, I should probably go meet her on my own," Buffy said, hoping Tru wouldn't get upset. "She doesn't know about this yet, or me and the. . .yunno, liking girls thing."

"Ok, so I'll wait for you to. . .wait, do you need me to not be around when you're with Dawn?"

"No, we can be together around Dawn, just not my mom," Buffy reminded. "I will tell her soon just. . .not yet."

"It's ok, Buffy," Tru told her, the slick feel of her body pressed close making Buffy subconsciously run her hands over her. "Tell her in your own time."

She smiled and it put Buffy at ease, just like it always seemed to do. The situation wasn't ideal, but at least she wouldn't have to leave altogether.

Once they'd showered – forgoing any more delicious orgasms – they dressed and made their way out to the diner Tru worked at. Half price pancakes were just too appealing to pass up, even for Buffy. By the time they'd finished and wasted an hour chatting and enjoying the sun as they sat outside, Joyce called, telling Buffy she was almost there. She could hear Dawn complaining in the background and resisted the urge to just drop the phone into her drink. Forcing perkiness, Buffy told her she'd meet them and take Dawn shopping with her and Cordelia. Tru chuckled and kept smiling at Buffy, distracting her as she stroked a hand over her thigh under the table.

"Is it wrong to want to lose your sister down a dark alley?" Buffy asked, blanching a little as she remembered who she was saying that to.

Tru had a sister of course. One she had no choice in losing because she didn't even know about her. Buffy could choose to be honest and tell her about Faith, but that would land her in a heap of a mess she was trying to stay away from. She'd hold onto that piece of information for as long as she could, regardless of the growing consequences.

"Anyway," Buffy continued quickly, "I better go meet them."

She stood and pushed her chair back, missing Tru's hand on her thigh instantly. Brushing a few crumbs from her lap, she tried not to get too down; they would only have Dawn with them for a few hours and at least they'd have another night together. It was going to be weird being with Tru with Dawn there, however. She was just getting used to being intimate with another girl, and now she'd have Dawn judging them and possibly making lewd comments. There was also the problem of Dawn's big mouth. She'd have to warn Dawn not to say anything about Faith, or about anything that might make Tru ask questions.

It was going to be a tedious few hours.

* * *

TBC…


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

"And then Buffy's pants fell down and she showed everybody her. . ."

"Ok, Dawn. That's enough of that story," Buffy interrupted as they walked down a fancy street eating fancy ice creams.

"I was just getting to the good part," Dawn whined, pouting in a way that reminded Buffy of her own pout just a little too much.

"I'm sure Tru is bored hearing tales of my childhood now. Let's change the subject, or possibly. . .you can keep quiet for the remaining time you're attached to my side."

"Would it be wrong of me to say I was enjoying the stories?" Tru asked with a chuckle as they meandered up to a large shop window displaying all kinds of electronic paraphernalia and funky gadgetry. "It's nice hearing about you."

Buffy instantly felt guilty, wishing she could tell Tru all about her life - every aspect. But she couldn't do that. She had to be careful about what she said, and Dawn knew that all too well; Buffy had warned her about it before they'd come back to pick up Tru. She guessed a few harmless tales about her youth before the slaying, before Sunnydale, and before Faith wouldn't do much harm, but Dawn was obviously purposefully trying to embarrass her.

Well two could play at that game.

"At least I was allowed to be alone by the time I was your age," Buffy quipped with a grin. "And I don't think I tried to set fire to the house once, unlike you."

"Hey, that was an accident," Dawn grumbled, her pout making Buffy grin even more; though trying to grin and eat an ice-cream was proving to be a tad difficult. "Those waffles were like super combustible."

"Sure, and they just threw themselves over the garden fence too I guess," Buffy pushed, glancing over to see Tru's eyes smiling as she tried not to let on she was finding this funny.

"They were on fire!" Dawn protested. "I had to get them outta the house."

Tru looked back and forth between Buffy and Dawn, a small smile making her look even more beautiful as Dawn grew ever more irritated with Buffy's smug grin.

"She got grounded for a month," Buffy told Tru.

"For an accident?" Tru asked, obviously finding that a little harsh.

"Not for 'accidentally' setting fire to the waffles while she was too busy painting her toenails to notice, but for throwing them into the neighbours' yard when they were still on fire."

Dawn pouted harder and looked away from Buffy. They'd argued about this and many other things far too often for it to be considered fun for Dawn, but Buffy didn't care. She'd just had to go through nearly two hours of Dawn being whiny, and Dawn wanting Buffy to buy her things, and Dawn trying to make her look silly in front of Tru. Payback was a warm snugly feeling that Buffy adored.

"She almost gave Mrs Houston a heart attack, and ruined her new lawn," Buffy continued. "And that's why she's not allowed to stay at home alone; she's an arsonist, among other evil things."

Dawn narrowed her eyes and Buffy knew she'd pushed a little too far.

"Yeah, let's talk about arson and evil things," Dawn suggested, her own smug grin making Buffy's cower away.

Tru chuckled and shook her head as Buffy pushed Dawn ahead of them so they could start walking back to the gallery.

"Let's not," Buffy said gruffly.

Her fingers dug into Dawn's shoulder in warning, and though Dawn flinched she didn't give Buffy away. She knew she'd be in so much trouble if she let slip that Buffy was a slayer, and that vampires and demons were real, and that Buffy was a lying bitch that was just using Tru because she couldn't deal with – or control – Faith.

To be fair, Buffy doubted Dawn would actually use those words, but she knew that's what she was, and she knew that's what she was doing – at least in some part.

"Time to take you back to mom," Buffy said, leaving no room for argument, though apparently Dawn wasn't aware of that assumption.

"Well I'm not staying there if she's not done with her meeting," Dawn grumbled. "If you make me, I'll introduce her to Tru."

Buffy felt her jaw clench and her palms start to sweat but she wasn't about to go into full on panic mode. She knew Dawn was capable of being a brat, even if it made Buffy's life hell, but she seriously doubted she'd go telling their mom about Tru. That would be one betrayal of trust that even Dawn wouldn't dare approach.

"And I'll introduce your favourite nail polish to your favourite clothes," Buffy warned. "Now give us some peace, and walk ahead so nobody thinks you're with us."

With a glare, Dawn took a moment to weigh up her options before turning and walking ahead, obviously deciding that arguing with Buffy was a never ending circle that could only drive them both insane. And besides, Buffy knew that Dawn had some sense at least; if she ever wanted to spend time with Buffy again she'd learn when to back down and let Buffy have her way.

"You two almost make me wish I had a sister," Tru said as Dawn meandered in front and Buffy took the opportunity to walk as close to Tru as she could without tripping her up.

The comment – and the wistful way in which Tru had made it - caused Buffy's heart to sink. She almost wished she could tell Tru that she did have a sister, and that everything could be good even though she'd been lying, and that it didn't matter that they were identical; she'd still want to be with Tru. It didn't matter.

But it did matter and she couldn't say any of those things let alone think them without her conscience mocking her and yelling profanities.

"It sucks a lot of the time," Buffy responded quietly, the back of her hand brushing against Tru's and making her want to grab it and hold on.

She didn't.

Tru bumped her shoulder into her playfully and smiled.

"I bet you secretly love having a little sister," Tru chuckled. "I get the feeling you're the protective type."

Buffy gave Tru a puzzled look and didn't notice until their fingers were entwined that Tru had taken hold of her hand. She was sneaky as well as perceptive apparently.

"Why do you think that?" Buffy asked, trying not to feel like they were being stared at as they held hands.

"Just a feeling," Tru answered, her smile making Buffy's stomach flutter and her hand hold her tight so she didn't float away.

Buffy gave a shy smile back, choosing not to continue the conversation. Protection was what she did, even where Dawn was concerned. It was in her nature, whether she wanted it to be or not. She was supposed to be the 'good guy', the guardian between evil and the rest of the world. She was supposed to be just, honest and kind.

She wasn't supposed to be doing what she was doing; deceiving and betraying.

All those good deeds seemed rather pointless if she was so readily able to continue the charade so elaborately cast. Her perspective was smudged; the details overlooked in her hunger to be loved, and it was too late to turn back now.

"I'd better go drop her off with mom," Buffy said, the sadness in her voice barely disguised.

Buffy let go of Tru's hand reluctantly and began to speed up her pace to catch up with Dawn, turning back to look into Tru's eyes before getting too far.

"I'll introduce you to mom soon," Buffy told her, feeling guilty on more levels than she could grasp.

"No rush," Tru responded with a kind shrug and that smile that melted Buffy all the way through – or nearly all.

"But I will," Buffy assured, completely clueless as to how and when, and what the reaction would be.

Tru nodded this time and caught up with Buffy.

"Whenever you're ready," she said softly, leaning in and brushing her lips over Buffy's before she could stop her.

Public displays of affection were going to take some getting used to, and she could hear Dawn snickering behind her. Still, she kissed back for more time than she thought was prudent; letting Tru's soft lips make her tingle and yearn to be back in her apartment, on her bed.

A vulgar wolf-whistle from not too far away broke them apart and Buffy duly blushed, though she found strength in Tru's brown eyes as they kept locked on her own, silently telling her not to feel ashamed. It was easier said than done, but she would try. For Tru.

"Anytime now would be good, Buffy," Dawn called from behind her. "You can les out later, on your own where I don't have to watch and feel like barfing."

Narrowing her eyes, Buffy spun around ready to share a few profanities with her sister, but she could see in the small lilt of Dawn's lips that she didn't mean it. She was just being annoying, as usual.

"Next time, I'm buying you a muzzle," Buffy warned, grinning through the threat. "And we'll take you to the park and lose you."

"Yeah, yeah, now move your stumpy legs quicker, I'm getting bored."

Dawn set off, leaving Buffy with no choice but to follow so she could see her back to the gallery safely. Losing her along the way really wasn't an option, as much as she'd have liked it to be.

"I'll be back in a little while," Buffy told Tru, giving her a small wave as Tru found a spot on a bench and watched them go.

After a few glances back towards her girlfriend as they walked their way to the gallery, Dawn punched Buffy in the arm.

"Will you quit it?" Dawn asked. "It's embarrassing."

"I'm not doing anything," Buffy responded with a whine.

"Sure, you're not doing anything," Dawn mocked. "But you are, and it's making you look like a total goober. I mean desperate much?"

"What?" Buffy asked, oblivious as she took another glance back.

"She's gonna dump you for being all needy and clingy."

"I'm so not needy _or_ clingy," Buffy protested strongly. "I'm just. . .I mean she's just so. . .oh God, I'm officially a goober."

"Yup, she's made you gay and gooberific."

"I'm not gay!" Buffy insisted a little too loudly, lowering her head as some passers by glared her way. "I'm something in-between - and no you don't need to find a joke in that."

"I'm not," Dawn said, sounding far from truthful. "If you're happy then. . .well, I don't care either way, just as long as you don't start dressing all butch. I like borrowing your clothes. Your non-butch clothes."

"I don't have any butch clothes," Buffy pointed out.

"And let's just keep it that way," Dawn said with a pat on Buffy's shoulder.

Rolling her eyes and being thankful that their day together was almost done, Buffy pushed open the door to the gallery. She shouted for her mom and shoved Dawn a little ahead of her in her keenness to get away.

"Have a good day?" Joyce asked as she met with her daughters, giving Dawn a quick once over, probably to check that Buffy had brought her back in one piece.

"Just great," Buffy answered unenthusiastically.

"Best day ever," Dawn agreed, just as unenthusiastically. "Wish I could stay."

"Well you can do it more often then," Joyce said with a knowing smile. "But it's time to go home now."

She thanked Buffy and gave her a little gratitude in the way of cash that would pay for dinner. She also promised to give her more warning next time Dawn needed a chaperone. Buffy insisted there really shouldn't ever be a next time, ever, but Joyce just laughed and gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek before making her way into the gallery office to collect her things.

"No coming back with a shaved head," Dawn said sarcastically. "Or with tattoos. Mom would definitely start asking questions."

Buffy sighed.

"When she starts asking questions I'll tell her the truth. In fact I'll tell before then, if I can work out how to explain Tru being Faith's sister," she said. "That might be a little difficult."

"Ya think?"

"And I don't need you making it harder," Buffy quickly pointed out.

"I'm not gonna say anything to her," Dawn insisted. "She's bound to start wondering why you keep coming up to LA though. She's worried you're getting back with Angel."

"Ugh! I really don't like her thinking that," Buffy said with a sigh. "I'll come up with something."

"Well you'd better do it soon, or work out how to explain Tru, or maybe. . .you should just flee the country and leave all your clothes to me."

"Or maybe I could shove you into that giant shrub over there and tell mom you were eaten by a demon."

"Funny," Dawn sneered.

"Ok girls, time to go," Joyce said, breaking them apart as she strode past to the exit. "Dawn, don't dawdle, and stand straight."

Buffy chuckled as Dawn stuck her tongue out at her mother's back, taking her time to follow as if she really didn't actually want to leave.

"Maybe you shouldn't tell mom," Dawn said quietly as she slowly made her way out to the car with Buffy beside her.

"Why? You think she'd freak out?"

"I just. . .maybe you should wait," Dawn continued, practically muttering. "Until you're with Faith."

"Until I'm. . .with Faith?" Buffy asked in surprise. "What do you mean? I can't be with Faith, I have a girlfriend and I. . ."

"I know, and Tru's pretty cool, but she's not Faith," Dawn said, doing her best not to look at Buffy. "You're supposed to be with Faith."

Buffy stopped walking as the door to the gallery swung shut behind her. She watched with her mouth slightly agape as Dawn just shrugged and got into Joyce's car; the words hanging between them. She wanted to ask Dawn why she thought that, though the stark obviousness was unavoidable, and the echo of the sentiment rumbled through her in a way she was growing used to.

"Just think about it," Dawn called from the car window as her mom waved goodbye obliviously and pulled away.

With her hands hanging loosely at her sides and her gaze watching the car pull out into the traffic Buffy whispered, "I never stop thinking about it."

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

The sun eased its way past a wisp of cloud, heating the concrete beneath her feet as she squinted and smiled to herself, her heart fluttering as her skin soaked in the warmth and her blonde hair flowed gently in the soft breeze.

It had been so long – too long – since she'd felt the sun. Barely seeing it through blacked out glass, and feeling the aftermath of its heat on the ground and in the air after dark didn't compare to this. This light, this heat, this freedom was invigorating and she felt alive. Truly alive. She'd longed for this.

The reasons behind why she had been given this chance – this new beginning – were inconsequential. She hadn't taken too long to dwell before slipping away at the first opportunity; once the chance to escape had arisen she'd taken it with both hands. Of course, a few people had been hurt in her bid for freedom, but that didn't matter. It didn't matter when all she could think about was living; taking this new lease and proving to herself that she could do it right this time. That her place was back amongst the living – kind of.

There was the small question of what was running through her veins, keeping her alive, letting her walk in the sun, but science was never something she understood and she'd stopped listening halfway through the explanation. Wolfram and Hart were a mystery and everything they did was shrouded in it, so what was just another experiment in the grand scheme of things? Their ways and their reasons held no interest.

Darla didn't much care for law firms and corporate jargon, or the people who'd given her this new life.

She'd left them behind in her haste to explore how her reinvigorated body felt – to walk without worry in the day, laugh without menace and breathe real air into real lungs. It felt almost the same as when she'd been alive before – the real alive, not as a vampire – but it wasn't the same. She knew it couldn't be, but it still felt deliciously close to the memory. Close and possibly even better; her memory held no recollection of this strength when she'd lived her first human life. She hadn't been able to taste the air as she could now, or hear the joy in the leaves so far away that she could barely see them.

She hadn't felt the pure, unparalleled bliss of knowing she was whole. Knowing that her soul saturated every fibre of her, and every thought. Four hundred years ago she hadn't felt her soul leave her when she'd been turned; it was already gone, sullied and driven under by her life, her vices, her decadence and dismissive ways. No, this soul felt as new as her body, and it was glorious.

It was too precious to risk in the hands of the corrupt company that had resurrected her. It was too precious to squander. Here was a gift, and she would take it with both hands and soothe some of the tragedy she'd caused, visit some of her past so she could look it in the eye and know she felt sorry for all she'd done and all she hadn't done. Sorry and hopeful.

It was a new day, a new life, and an old memory had taken her back to Sunnydale.

This was where her years as a vampire had come to an end, and here was where she needed to start her journey back to an existence she'd thrown away the first time. Maybe it was silly, or pointless, or just crazy, but Darla pushed aside her fear and walked through the centre of Sunnydale with her head held high and a determined pound to her refreshed heart.

Each shop she passed she gazed through the windows, each person she smiled at smiled right back, and each step she took filled her with confidence.

With a hearty meal in her stomach and a twinkle in her eye, Darla practically skipped down the street, noticing her old haunts and reminiscing. Wishing she had been kinder to people, less cruel, taken the time to just be rather than just slaughter. It was easy wishing but Darla didn't really know how to make things right, or if she could just use Angel's old excuse and blame her cruelty on her lack of a soul at the time. Now that she had a soul she knew his theory was rubbish, however; it wasn't a lack of soul that made them kill, and it wasn't regaining it that made them stop.

She had to figure out where her place was, where she belonged; and not as the property of Wolfram and Hart, or Angel, or anything but her own fate.

As she turned a corner and prepared to talk her way into a motel room for the night, Darla's attention was caught by the neon sign of a bar - The Bronze. She felt a twinge in her chest and raised a hand to it, feeling the weight of guilt press in on her, and the weight of betrayal. Angel had taken her undead life in that place. He'd chosen the slayer over her. He'd fouled everything they'd ever been, and everything she'd ever wanted.

It seemed like a lifetime ago in some respects – and indeed was, technically – but there was pain in her heart where she hadn't felt it in. . .forever. She didn't like the feeling and vowed to be better than the animal she'd allowed herself to become. Vowed to make herself proud, anew.

"Hey, watch where yer goin', blondie," somebody grunted as Darla bumped into them, almost toppling over save for the hands now holding her up.

"Sorry," she stammered, unused to feeling the touch of another – flesh to her flesh. It had been so long.

The hands at her waist remained as the girl she'd bumped into furrowed her brow and gave her a look that could only be placed somewhere between annoyed and animalistic.

"No problem," the girl said, removing her hands tellingly slowly as Darla enjoyed the faint tickle of them. "Just be careful; you don't wanna be runnin' into the wrong kind round here."

Darla tried not to smile, but failed. This girl was hot, and quite clearly she oozed the kind of sexuality that took pleasure in all things – females included.

"The wrong kind?" she asked innocently; old memories of tried and tested traps. Innocence and naivety used to lure the ones she'd chosen. The special ones. "And you're not the wrong kind?"

The girl ran a hand though her dark waves of hair, a sexy smirk lingering at the edges of existence as Darla willed it to develop so she could feel the rush. The rush that came with flirtation. With the promise of sex and skin and blood. But it wasn't her blood she wanted. Not now with the soul keeping her grounded. Not now even though she was still technically a vampire with the same thirsts that needed quenching and the same habits that needed tethering.

"Depends who ya talk to," the girl finally answered; the hint of something broken within her making Darla instantly want to know more.

"How about _you_ tell me," Darla suggested.

"I'm not the talking type," the girl replied with a shrug as she dipped into the pocket on her tight black jeans, fishing out a pack of cigarettes and offering one to Darla.

Darla declined but watched as the girl lit one and took a long drag.

"Can't believe I almost gave these up," the girl stated once she'd blown out the smoke.

She looked sad but there was more to her. More to the hardness of her face and the darkness of her eyes. Darla was completely fascinated.

"Have you also given up alcohol?" Darla asked, "because I'm a girl in need of a drink."

Giving the neon sign of the nearby club a glance, she hoped her hint would hit home. She wasn't about to waste an opportunity like this, even if she was supposed to be here for other, more altruistic reasons.

The brunette raised an eyebrow as she regarded Darla; her eyes penetrating and her frame strong and almost intimidating. She gazed up and down; taking her time until Darla almost couldn't stand the scrutiny anymore. Until her skin was buzzing and her sex was clenching in need.

"So how exactly does a vampire get to walk around in the day?" the girl asked once she'd taken her time to scrutinize Darla.

Regarding the girl differently now, Darla smirked. She ran her tongue over canine teeth that would always be sharper, more pronounced than normal, and let herself feel the presence of the brunette.

"You're the slayer," Darla stated, letting the delicious sensation of danger trickle down her spine.

"No, I'm Faith, and you didn't answer my question," the girl insisted.

"It's complicated," Darla said, not knowing how exactly to explain. "So, slayer, how about that drink?"

Faith grinned and Darla saw the twinkle in her eye that came with great confidence and awareness.

"I told you, I'm not the slayer," Faith reiterated. "And I don't hang out with vamps. . .except the one, or two, but they're different."

"We're all a little different, honey," Darla said, stepping closer.

"Some more different than others, huh."

"You're not going to let a small thing like me being a vampire and you being a slayer keep us from. . .connecting are you?" Darla asked, looking up at Faith through her eyelashes; relishing the distinctive sensation of flirting with possibility.

Looking Darla up and down once again, Faith chuckled and flicked her cigarette to the floor.

"Guess one drink wouldn't hurt," she said. "Why should everybody else get to have all the fun?"

Faith waved her hand, gesturing for Darla to enter the club first.

"We all deserve to have a little fun, Faith," Darla agreed, slowly making her way past Faith; running her hand over Faith's stomach as she went. "You might have to remind me how it goes; it's been a while."

With a sway of her hips, Darla made her way into The Bronze, shuddering a little as the rush of memory washed over her. Licking her lips as she felt Faith enter close behind.

Coming to Sunnydale had been a good idea.

* * *

TBC…


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

As the bar filled up with hopeful revellers, Darla smiled to herself and felt the energy around her. It was getting late now and she could sense the night creeping in from the outside; like a call to her to join it. Though a soul now kept her thoughts in check, her body held memories of sinning and sucking blood, of relishing the night and all the pleasures it could bring. It was an interesting mix, and she felt a distinctive tugging inside.

It would be so easy to slip back into her former role. To let the memories take control. Now she was – well, she didn't know exactly what to call it and Faith had made some quip about her being a half-breed, but whatever she was now, it made blending in so much easier. It made her able to walk through the night and the day without reproach. She was untouchable. She was new and wanted to experience the world in a different way. In this new way.

"Want another?" Faith asked, tipping her bottle towards Darla with a grin.

They'd already drank many and Darla could feel the alcohol spiralling through her veins, though she was hungry and her blood felt thinner than it ought to be, which was beginning to distract her.

"There's a lot I want," Darla replied with an answering grin, hoping Faith would understand the implications.

There was something about Faith that intrigued Darla; intrigued and excited her. She hoped Faith felt similarly, though Darla was beginning to get a little worried that there was something holding Faith back – apart from the obvious fact that she was a slayer, and slayers and vampires normally only mingled when there were stakes and dark cemeteries involved.

"I'll take that as a yes," Faith chuckled, sliding out from behind the table and making her way to the bar.

Darla watched every step, licking her lips and mentally stripping every scrap of clothing off Faith as she waved down the bartender and got another round. Bringing the bottles back over, Faith gazed out into the dance floor momentarily, and her demeanour shifted. Her eyes looked sad again instead of mischievous and Darla wondered what the story was behind that - behind Faith. She wondered where the hurt came from and how to help relieve it.

"Tell me about yourself, Faith," Darla said as Faith sat back beside her.

So far the conversation had mostly been about Darla and her 'new' existence. Faith was more than interested in that, probably wondering if Darla was prime staking material or just another vampire with a soul who defied explanation and required pity.

The subject of Faith's friendship with Angel had arisen when Darla had mentioned her soul, and Darla had felt the ripple of anger start to twist her inside. She didn't want to think about him. Didn't even want to hear his name. It had been bad enough thinking about him when they'd walked into the Bronze; and Darla had practically felt the stake he'd wielded digging deep into her chest once again. She'd quickly steered the conversation away from him once she'd told Faith that it had been Angel's blood that had been used to turn her into this 'half-breed' vampire she currently was.

Darla wanted to know Faith's story. She wanted to know her dark secrets and her heart. She wanted to know what made her tick.

"Not much to tell," Faith replied with a slight slur to her words as the alcohol did its job.

"I'm sure that's not true," Darla pressed. "What about slaying?"

"What about it?" Faith deflected. "I kill monsters. . .and stuff. Not much more to it."

Faith's tone and demeanour gave her away, indicating there was something she was hiding, or there was something she didn't want to talk about. Darla wasn't one to back off easily so she kept her eyes locked on her and rested a hand over Faith's.

Encouragingly, Faith didn't pull away so Darla moved a little closer on the booth seat they were both occupying.

"What does 'stuff' mean?" Darla asked.

A sigh escaped Faith and Darla wondered momentarily whether she should mind her own business; but Darla always got what she wanted, and she wanted to know this girl. This slayer.

If Angel could get obsessed with a slayer, why couldn't she? Maybe she was doomed to be drawn to Faith because of her soul, or maybe she'd just been dead for far too long and now she wanted to feel life, heat, sensations that would feed her almost as much as the blood she knew she still craved.

"You don't wanna know this crap," Faith insisted, once again dodging Darla's questions. "I got stories, but stories don't matter. All you gotta know is I'm not Buffy; never have been and never will be."

She took a long drink from her bottle and looked away from Darla into the throng of dancers now bouncing heavily to the music. Buffy's name hadn't been mentioned yet and Darla felt her pulse quickening and muscles straining as she fought not to stand up and scream in the face of her memory of the blonde slayer. She hated Buffy still – a soul didn't change that. Buffy had ensured Angel would never turn to the dark again. Buffy had ruined Darla's plans in Sunnydale. Buffy was the reason Darla was no longer a vampire. No longer the master of her own thoughts and desires.

"Buffy," Darla uttered; practically a whisper.

The name alone made her fangs descend – like cat's claws – until she felt her bottom lip scraping against them and her tongue testing their razor-sharp points.

"Got a beef with her?" Faith asked, looking intently at Darla.

Darla glanced away, unusually embarrassed about the possibility of her vampiric features coming to the fore. She concentrated hard in order to settle her fangs, and felt at her forehead – but her forehead was still smooth. Maybe a soul wasn't the only side effect of her mixed status. She couldn't say she'd miss the ugly features that being a vampire in full bloodlust would cause.

"I don't really know her," Darla covered, the sharpness of her teeth still prodding at her lip.

"Sure," Faith said sarcastically. "So what's with the fangs?"

"What does it matter? She's dead anyway, right? And I'm a reformed vampire – my soul makes me good."

Darla gave Faith one of her most angelic smiles, though the effect was probably a little off considering her damn teeth were refusing to retract – which might have been due to hunger as much as anything.

"She's not dead," Faith informed her. "All kinds of alive and making me just as crazy as ever."

Faith muttered the last few words and Darla tried to work out what she meant, but more importantly she was wondering how Faith was a slayer if Buffy was still alive.

"But you're a slayer so I assumed. . ."

"It's complicated I guess. Buffy died but they did CPR on her," Faith explained. "Some chick got called but Spike's ex sliced her up her so I came along – and fucked Buffy's perfect little life for a while. Hell, guess I'm still doing that."

Her words were even more slurred now but that didn't stop her finishing off the rest of her bottle and digging into her pocket for more money.

Darla let the new information roll around her brain for a little while – wondering when it had happened, when Spike had become involved in Sunnydale's little dramas, and what Faith meant by 'fucking Buffy's life'. There was so much to ask, but there was time. Faith would be a nice nut to crack, and Darla imagined that doing it slowly would be much more satisfying than having everything revealed all at once. As much as she was hungry to know more, she was even hungrier to let her body know it was alive again.

"How about we forget about Buffy, and about slayers and vampires," Darla drawled, sliding even closer to Faith and talking into her ear. "I'm pretty sure we can find better things to talk about, or do."

Faith chuckled lightly which made Darla frown and pull away again.

"You're hot, I'll give you that, but I don't screw vamps, babe," Faith pointed out. "Told ya, I'm not Buffy."

Though the declaration made Darla reassess the situation a little, it didn't perturb her completely. There was something about the way Faith allowed her eyes to wander over her that told Darla it would only be a matter of time before she was doing exactly what she wanted, and needed.

"How about just a dance at least?" Darla asked, smiling and batting her eyelashes until she could see the cracks in Faith's armour.

Faith seemed to think about it for a while and she waved over the bartender who had obviously taken a shine to her. With a gesture that Darla didn't quite catch she had him bring over two large shot glasses full of brown liquid. Passing one to Darla, Faith downed the other one and stood up from the booth, giving the bartender a nod and a wink in thanks.

"Come on then, blondie. Come shake your ass for me," Faith said, giving Darla a look that almost had her feeling no older than a teen herself.

With the heat of the club and the pounding of the dance music it wasn't long before they both became swept up in one another. Alcohol running through their veins and sex lingering on the fringes of every touch, they moved in unison, getting closer with every beat.

No matter what Faith had said Darla could feel the need vibrating from Faith's warm skin. She would be easily swayed.

Turning her back to Faith, Darla rubbed up against her as close as she could, her hands gripping strong thighs behind her. She felt Faith push against her, seeking friction, and grinned to herself. Her fangs felt longer again and she was getting wet with the sensation of having Faith's heat so close. Hands slipped around her and under her shirt and Darla sighed at the touch; any higher and Faith would be copping a feel. Not that she'd mind.

Without warning Darla turned in Faith's arms, keeping just as close, and pleased that Faith's hands remained on her. She nuzzled into Faith's neck, smelling the blood just beneath the surface of the skin, throbbing through the artery. As she felt a shiver run through the slayer her lips glanced over her, seeing just how far she could push.

"You trying to bite me, vamp?" Faith asked, her voice raspy and low in Darla's ear.

"If I wanted to bite you I'd take you somewhere a little quieter, don't you think?"

Faith licked her lips and gave Darla a feral smile.

"Sure about that?"

"Well I'd at least take you to the bathroom," Darla replied, smiling just the same.

"Good to know," Faith responded.

They kept hold of each other's gaze for a few moments before Faith chuckled silently and shook her head, then tugged on Darla's hand as she led her from the dance floor. Faith's legs were obviously a bit wobbly from the booze but Darla didn't feel anywhere near as drunk as Faith looked. That would work in her favour and she felt a tingle of pleasure deep down in her stomach.

She didn't know what it was about Faith particularly that had her so. . .worked up, but she hadn't felt this compelled to get close to somebody since Angel. It was strange, and a little scary.

Maybe it was just Faith, or maybe it was the way in which Faith had spoken about Buffy – making it sound like they had something in common. An annoying slayer they both seemed irritated by. It certainly gave Darla something to think about. She hadn't come here for revenge, but the idea didn't sound abhorrent.

There was more about Faith she needed to know, however, before making any mistakes. Sure, a little fun with her would be fine, but anything else and she'd have to pry out some of Faith's secrets, and get to the bottom of whatever it was that had Faith bristling about Buffy.

As they stepped outside Darla gave Faith's hand a squeeze and shot her a questioning look.

"I thought you said you didn't do vampires," she queried, feeling her skin buzzing as Faith stepped close to her.

"I'd fuck you in a heartbeat, blondie," Faith stated, her sudden honesty fuelled by alcohol and the grinding they'd been doing on the dance floor.

She pressed up against Darla, causing them to move backwards from the street to the alley beside the club. Darla happily allowed Faith's weight to hold her against the wall there, feeling a thrill rush through her. A thrill she hadn't felt for much longer than she'd care to think about.

Leaning close to Darla's ear, Faith's hot breath blew over her as she spoke in a hushed and sensual tone.

"But I'm a good girl now," Faith continued. "I have to get home, sober up, and then go kill a few of your kind."

It sounded more like a chore than something Faith actually wanted to do.

"You don't sound too thrilled about it," Darla chanced. "Don't you like being a slayer?"

A dark look passed over Faith's eyes but she covered quickly, pressing more of her weight into Darla and sliding a firm thigh between her legs.

"I love being a slayer," Faith asserted, her thigh pushing up into Darla so much it almost had her off her feet and riding it. "There's just a lotta other bullshit that comes with it that I'm not a big fan of."

Suppressing a moan of pleasure, Darla scraped one of her fangs over her lower lip, watching as Faith's pupils grew larger. Maybe this wasn't the time to ask, but something told Darla she just had to.

"Bullshit like Buffy?"

This time the change in Faith's eyes took on a much more confusing state. Darla couldn't decide if Faith was angry, upset, or worked up in a whole other way. Buffy was indeed obviously an issue for this slayer.

"Just. . .bullshit," Faith answered, not committing herself. "Besides, Buffy isn't exactly around much these days so she's not a problem."

"Is she usually a problem?"

The hidden agenda and meaning in her question didn't go unrecognised.

"What's with all the questions about Buffy?" Faith asked, growing suspicious.

Deciding that it would probably be better to leave those questions for another time, Darla changed tactics.

She ran her fingernails up underneath Faith's top, scratching at her lower back and pulling her close enough for their breasts to touch. They were in kissing distance, but Darla wanted Faith to make that first move.

"Ok, I promise not to mention her again," Darla assured, letting her eyes become engulfed by Faith's. "How about you take me home and we can work on that sobering up together."

It would take one small move to have their lips locked together, and Darla really wanted to feel those full lips on hers. They looked delicious. And just when Darla thought Faith would lean forward and kiss her, she pulled back, away from the hands in her shirt. Away from the throb between Darla's legs.

"Let's go," Faith told her, giving nothing away.

Darla smiled to herself, following Faith as she led them away from the club, her mouth watering and her body ready to take whatever Faith had to offer. Maybe Faith would make an exception to her 'no screwing vamps' rule. It wasn't as if Darla was a full vampire anyway, so she could only hope.

The night was sure to bring some surprises.

**Two weeks later. . .**

Buffy sighed happily as she walked through Restfield; her thoughts on her girlfriend as she twirled her stake and enjoyed the warmth of the night. She felt good. She felt surprisingly free of angst and troubles, despite the situation she was still very much in the middle of.

She'd seen Tru a few times in the past two weeks, and barely seen anything of Faith, and that was a good thing. No, better than good it was perfect. Things were really settling down, and as long as she avoided thinking about Tru ever visiting Sunnydale, she could almost pretend that life was normal, and that she wasn't living a lie.

Fortunately, Tru hadn't pressed the issue yet of coming to visit. It was obvious she was growing curious, but so far Buffy had been able to deter her by telling her she was just worried about 'coming out', and that she wanted Tru to visit when she could properly introduce her to her mother, as her girlfriend. Of course, only Buffy knew the implications of that, and she was avoiding that possibility as much, and for as long as she could.

Shaking off the ominous dread about the whole situation, Buffy continued to try to see the bright side, the silver lining, the pot at the end of her very own rainbow. There was no room for doom and gloom when she felt this good. No place for anguish when she had the recent memory of Tru's hands roaming her body and those soft lips pulling Buffy down into a delirious dream, where the inevitable never came knocking at her door.

With another twirl of her stake, she felt her lips curl into a smile and enjoyed the moment. She felt strong, high, happy, ready for anything, and in the mood for some good old fashioned slaying.

A noise to her right caught Buffy's attention and she glanced into the foliage that surrounded the area. She was in a fairly open part of the cemetery where the path splintered off in different directions, and where the newer graves began. This was a prime dusting spot, and many a vampire had met its end at her hands here. She squinted, adjusting her eyes to the darkness. There was definitely something moving just in her range of vision. Two, maybe three people, or vampires, or maybe even demons. There was slight tingle down her spine, but often that was just the symptom of her aroused instincts at the possibility of a fight. She didn't always get a warning that a vampire was around, but she'd learned to distinguish any subtle changes in her body.

"Time to fight the good fight," she said to herself as she set off towards the moving bodies.

Taking her time and avoiding any branches that might snap and give her position away, Buffy got closer to her prey. She could definitely feel the signs now, and she held her stake more firmly. A hint of laughter was in the air. Female laughter. She could see two distinct shapes through a row of bushes in front of her. Two vampires wouldn't take too much effort. Females could be wily, and fast, but they would be no match for Buffy.

Just as voices became more distinctive, Buffy caught a glimpse of blonde hair. She peered harder, but keeping low to avoid detection made seeing even more difficult. She didn't want to charge out at them before she knew for sure how many were there, however. Still, she had a feeling she knew that hair, and that laugh.

It almost sounded like Darla, but that would be impossible. She was long since dead.

Creeping even closer, Buffy lost concentration for a second and a loud crack under her foot echoed around the wooded area. She'd given her position away and the voices just ahead stopped.

"Go," she heard one of them whisper, and then the sound of retreat.

"Damnit," Buffy muttered under her breath. She hated when they ran.

It was pointless trying to run after them in the thick bushes. There were too many trees, too much green, and not enough space to fight in. She'd have to go back to the path and hope she bumped into them again further on. At least vampires were predictable. They wouldn't stray far from home.

Picking a twig out of her hair, Buffy stepped back out into the open space and made her way slowly, deeper into the cemetery. She kept her senses keen and her mind focused on the job, and prayed she didn't bump into Faith. She didn't much feel like sharing the night's slayage with her tonight.

Luckily, they'd been patrolling in different parts of the town during the week. Giles had agreed that it would be better that way – they could cover more ground, and now that Faith had a cell phone it would be easy for them to contact each other if they needed help. Of course, Buffy had no intentions of ever calling Faith's number and had reluctantly put it in her own phone at Giles' behest.

Neither of them had called the other so far, and Buffy couldn't see that changing. They weren't fighting, but it was better if they stayed away from one another. There was too much at stake, and too many things that could be said if they were to speak to each other.

As she walked down a small hill that led her down the path to the very back of the cemetery, Buffy began to think that her two vampires had taken a different route, or left altogether. She felt disappointed, and slid her stake back into her pocket, planning to turn around and make her way back out of Restfield. Maybe another cemetery would prove to be more fruitful.

Just as she thought that, her senses began to prickle. From out of nowhere she could feel that there were vampires near by. Maybe the two from earlier, or maybe more.

She turned around to walk back up the hill, but before she got much further, the hungry snarls came at her from the darkness. Dropping into an instinctive fighting stance, Buffy yanked her stake once more from her jacket. Holding it in a tight grip, she found herself quickly surrounded. There were seven vampires, all big, all snarling, all looking ready to rip her apart limb from limb.

Trying to hide her anxiousness, Buffy eyed every one, guessing their weight and strength, silently calculating her odds, and choosing which one should be avoided at all costs. Much to her annoyance, they all appeared to be similar in strength. She wouldn't know which ones were her biggest threat until it was probably too late.

"Great," she muttered to herself.

Their snarls got louder and their grins more toothy as they began to close in on her. They looked like a wrestling team, and perhaps were at one time. Her only real option was to make a break for it. The first rule of being a slayer was to stay alive to fight another day – not officially, but it was her rule, and she wasn't about to break it. She'd have to fight a hole through them before she could run, however, and that thought was starting to worry her.

Just as she was about to choose which vampire to take on first, her cell phone rang in her pocket. Several of the vampires tilted their heads like curious puppies, but they didn't stop advancing.

As her phone persisted, Buffy dug it out of her pocket, taking her eyes off the salivating squad around her for just a second to glance at the screen. It told her that Faith was calling, which made her frown in confusion, and then frown even further as she realised she might have to ask for help, as long as Faith wasn't calling for help herself – which would have been rather unfortunate.

"Faith?" Buffy asked tightly as she answered the call.

"Yup," Faith replied nonchalantly.

Buffy continued to frown, and continued to be confused.

"This isn't a good time, what do you want?" she asked, turning around as she watched the vampires creep ever closer.

For the moment they seemed to be holding themselves back. There was probably a pecking order they had to adhere to and would only attack when the biggest of them decided it was time.

"Just wondered if that was a private party," Faith replied.

"What?" Buffy snapped. "What party?"

"That one," Faith answered, though it sounded less like she'd said it down the phone, and more like she was. . .standing at the top of the hill, looking down on Buffy's predicament.

Buffy glanced up at Faith and she could see the grin on her face. She didn't know whether to feel relief or annoyance.

"So, can I join in?" Faith asked, flipping her cell phone shut and slipping it into her pocket.

The vampires looked amongst themselves and spread out a little further, ready to accommodate the new arrival. They obviously didn't feel threatened.

"Feel free," Buffy replied.

She felt her shoulders relax. Seven against two wasn't too bad. They'd been in worse situations together. Though Buffy hadn't wanted to see Faith she was glad she'd somehow stumbled upon her. Whatever reason she had for being on Buffy's section of town could be discovered later. Right now, they had to work together. Buffy wasn't stupid enough to allow their problem to get in the way of walking away with her life and limbs intact in this instance. She could deal with Faith, as long as Faith didn't use this to her own ends.

"Who wants to dance first?" Faith asked the vampires as a whole, giving each one of them a textbook, shit-eating grin.

"Get dem," the largest vampire grunted, sounding very much like a long dead wrestler with a speech impediment.

In a flash, there were fists and feet flying everywhere, and Buffy quickly found herself back to back with Faith, their bodies gravitating closer to each other and their instincts interlocking. This wasn't going to be easy, but somewhere in the back of Buffy's mind. . .she guessed it might be kind of fun.

TBC. . .


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

They fought well, in unison, and with hardly a word said between them. They saved their breaths for grunts and the odd instruction that was hardly necessary. It was like they'd been fighting together this way forever. It was always like that and Buffy regretfully missed it. She'd never tell Faith that, however. She'd never divulge the secret that watching Faith fight was like a nasty little drug she couldn't quit.

Faith in full flow was a spectacle of energy and sex and Buffy had a hard time concentrating on the vampires as she kept one eye on Faith. Despite that fact, they danced rings around the heavy vampires as if they were nothing but annoying flies that needed swatting. Their stakes swung freely and dust shot up into the air all around.

Very quickly they were down to the last one, the leader. He wasn't going to back down and run, which suited both the slayers as they gave each other a silent nod and rushed at him. He threw his fists towards their heads, but he was rattled and easily overpowered. Faith swept her foot out at his legs, bringing him down onto his back, leaving Buffy the kill as she leapt onto him and plunged her stake downwards.

The wood penetrated his heart with a satisfying plop, causing an agonised grimace to pass over his face before he evaporated. Buffy fell to her knees where his body had been holding her up, and cursed as she lost her stake into the dust; she hadn't pulled it free quick enough.

"Ugh!" she grunted, wiping her hands on her pants and frowning into the dust on the ground. "I liked that stake."

She could hear Faith breathing hard behind her, the energy still rolling off her in waves and hitting Buffy full force. Almost wishing she didn't have to turn around Buffy took a breath to steady herself. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end as Faith moved closer.

"Hate when that happens," Faith commented.

Her voice was a low burr of obvious arousal and Buffy could think of nothing but the adage about being hungry and horny that Faith loved to throw around. The adage was true, and they'd just battled seven vampires together. Turning around and looking Faith in the eye was not going to be a good idea, but she couldn't just sit there and ignore Faith, or run off into the night without thanking her – as much as she wanted to.

"My own fault," Buffy said as she got to her feet, keeping her back to Faith.

Brushing some dirt from herself, Buffy tried her hardest to ignore the sound of Faith's breaths and the shuffle of her feet as she too righted her clothing and patted dust from her jacket. But ignoring Faith wasn't going to suddenly cause her to vanish into thin air, letting Buffy off the hook. She was very much on the hook and wriggling around in her own disastrous dilemma.

"Thanks for helping," Buffy mumbled through gritted teeth as she finally turned towards Faith.

"No big," Faith replied, clutching her shoulder and rolling it uneasily. She'd obviously been caught there and was feeling for damage.

Buffy could tell right away that Faith was avoiding her eyes. They were both doing that in fact, which was completely silly, yet completely understandable.

"Did you get hurt?" Buffy asked, waving her hand in the direction of Faith's shoulder as unassumingly as possible.

She didn't want to have this conversation. Any conversation. Talking to Faith always led to bad things. They'd either fight, or they'd do something even more stupid like act on instinct and fuck the hell out of each other in a post-slay induced haze. Buffy wanted neither. Well that wasn't exactly true, but she had to stay strong, and she had to get away from Faith as quickly as possible without appearing extremely ignorant and ungrateful.

"It's fine," Faith replied, dropping her hand from her shoulder and giving it an experimental shrug.

Her jacket was open, revealing a top much tighter than something Buffy would ever wear, and much lower cut. There was a sea of cleavage before her and a small trickle of sweat made its way into it as if teasing Buffy to follow. Teasing Buffy about what she really wanted, and what she was denying herself. Making herself stop staring, Buffy glanced over the rest of Faith before finally meeting her eyes.

And when their eyes finally met they were both caught in the moment. As if in some incredibly lame movie, Buffy felt as if everything around her melted away, leaving only them, only the possibilities that lay before them. She wanted to move closer – no, she needed to – but she forced her feet to remain where they were. She forced her hands to stay put at her sides, and she tried with everything she had to look away.

The depths of Faith's eyes willed her to reveal herself. They stripped her naked. They made Buffy tremble with barely restrained desire. It was as if nothing mattered. Nothing existed but who they were and what they wanted from each other.

A dangerous powder keg ready to explode.

It felt like minutes had passed before Faith finally took the initiative and stole her eyes from Buffy's. But it hadn't been by choice as a blonde woman bounced towards them from the side of the path.

Buffy instinctively went to grab for her stake in her pocket, forgetting that it had been dusted along with the vamps.

"Well this looks intense," the blonde commented, looking between Buffy and Faith.

Buffy blinked, trying to convince herself that Darla hadn't just walked up to them as if out of nowhere. She turned her gaze quickly back to Faith to see if Faith was reaching for her stake. She wasn't, and Buffy noticed they were much closer to one another than they had been before. Somehow, while they were lost in each others' eyes, they'd moved closer - just an arms length apart.

"Am I interrupting something, Faithy?" the woman who looked remarkably like Darla asked, sliding up beside Faith as if they actually knew each other.

"No," Faith replied, her voice still tainted with heat, but her demeanour changing as she relaxed her body and took a step back.

Buffy tried not to feel bruised by Faith's subtle shift, and she tried to work out just who this woman was, and why she now had her hand so familiarly on Faith's arm. She really did look like Darla, and even sounded like her, but Buffy had seen her staked to dust years before.

"Who. . ." Buffy began, but stopped as the blonde woman rolled her eyes and gave Buffy a look that clearly stated she was already bored with this conversation.

"Darla," the blonde woman said, as if trying to remind Buffy. "Surely you didn't forget about me, sweetheart. I'd be hurt if I was that easily forgotten."

"I didn't forget," Buffy responded, biting back a vicious snarl as she remembered their last encounter, and as Darla's hand curled possessively around Faith's bicep. "How?"

"Oh, a few weeks ago there was a little experiment in some laboratory in LA and bingo. . .I'm back amongst the living. Well, the almost living," Darla answered, her eyes penetrating Buffy. "What was it you called me, baby?" Darla asked Faith, giving her arm a squeeze and making Buffy's fists ball up.

"Half-breed," Faith answered tightly, appearing uncomfortable as she shifted on her feet.

Quite apart from wondering how the hell Darla was there, and why she was there, she was also wondering just how she knew Faith and why they seemed so. . .close. Baby? Since when did Faith let anybody call her baby? It was unsettling to say the least.

"So you're still a vampire?" Buffy asked as she once again mourned the recent loss of her stake.

"Half," Darla corrected, still clinging to Faith. "And I have a soul. Like Angel."

Buffy's skin crawled as Darla said his name. There was something so not right here. Everything was off and Buffy didn't know where to begin to piece things together so she could figure out what the hell had happened to her reality.

None of them spoke for what began to feel like an incredibly awkward eternity. Just what the heck was going on? Buffy had no idea, and she doubted she'd find out from Darla, or even from Faith.

"Well it was nice talking to you, but we have places to be," Darla suddenly stated, dropping her hand down to Faith's and entwining their fingers.

Buffy's blood began to simmer, and her stomach muscles were so tight she imagined them popping open and revealing her innards to the world if this little display continued. Buffy couldn't fathom how this had happened in the short time she'd been avoiding the other slayer, and how she'd got so far out of touch.

For what it was worth, Faith pulled her hand free of Darla's, but she did it slower than Buffy imagined she should have. Their body language spoke volumes despite Faith's reluctance to hand-hold, and it turned Buffy's stomach. This was Faith. Faith who was meant to be in love with her. Who longed for Buffy. Who held the other half of her soul. She wasn't meant to be with Darla even if Buffy couldn't be with her herself. This was wrong.

"I should go," Buffy said weakly, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I have. . .homework, and. . ."

She glanced at where Darla's hand brushed against the back of Faith's and a small piece of her broke inside. Buffy wasn't sure why she was feeling this way – after all, she'd made the decision to be with Tru. She didn't regret that decision. All this new information was messing with her mind and toying with her emotions. She had to get away from them. From Faith.

"We'll talk about this another time," Buffy warned.

Looking one last time into Faith's now guarded eyes, Buffy gave her a rigid smile and thanked her again. She didn't bother speaking anymore to Darla and blocked out whatever it was the half-vampire, or whatever she now was, said to Faith as she walked away, back up the hill headed for the exit.

Buffy walked quickly, her mind racing with questions she didn't want to ask. The first thing she needed to do when she got home was call Angel. If something had gone down in LA that had dead, dusty, no longer existing vampires coming back to life – or un-dead life, or whatever - then he'd know about it. And if he knew about it, then she was all kinds of ready to give him a piece of her mind about not telling her Darla could possibly be arriving back in Sunnydale.

If he hadn't known about it then she needed to know why not. He was meant to be on top of all things evil and nasty in LA. Surely something like Darla coming back to life shouldn't have just slipped past him and his LA crew.

By the time she got home Buffy was seething. Flinging her jacket onto her bed she began to pace, feeling her fists clenching and unclenching as if on instinct. She wasn't happy about Darla being there, in her town. She wasn't happy that she'd just allowed Darla to appear all smug and carefree without properly challenging her. She was even less happy about Darla fraternising with Faith. The last thing Faith needed, as she tried to atone for her mistakes and make good of her life, was another scheming vampire leading her astray.

Buffy was angry, and worried, and jealous. Yes, she could admit she was extremely jealous. It was an unmistakable feeling and she hated that she was feeling it. She had no right to be jealous, and really. . .it was just stupid. After all she'd put herself through in order to try to forget about being with Faith, so she could be with Tru, it was insane to even entertain the slightest bit of jealousy, but the way Darla had touched Faith. The way she'd spoken to her. It all pointed to one thing and it hurt. It hurt Buffy to think of Faith with Darla. With that thing that wasn't even human.

She slumped down onto her mattress, sitting with her head in her hands, caught between laughing and wanting to cry. The irony of being horrified that Faith should 'be' with a vampire didn't escape her. She had no right judging Faith about that one – if Darla did indeed have a soul. But Darla wasn't Angel. The circumstances were not the same, and Buffy didn't trust Darla. Not one bit. She'd almost be happier – or at the most just slightly less horrified – if Faith had chosen Spike to get her naughty on with rather than Darla. Though the thought of Faith being with anybody made her boil inside.

Fighting beside Faith, losing herself into her dark eyes, feeling the distinct energy they radiated around each other; there was only one way they could be if they were to ever get along. But they couldn't be lovers. Too much had happened, and there was too much at stake.

"I can't take this," she muttered to herself, imagining she'd go crazy if she had to deal with anymore of this thing between her and Faith.

Whatever it was, it wasn't healthy. It never had been healthy and never could be. They made each other insane, and Buffy was done with being insane over this. She'd chosen. She'd made her decision. She couldn't do this anymore.

"I quit," she sighed, flopping onto her bed and letting her pillows engulf her. "I'll run away and become a nun."

She groaned and rubbed a hand over her face.

"But nuns don't get to wear cute shoes," she reminded herself forlornly.

With a sigh, Buffy stopped talking to herself for fear of seeming even more insane than she already was. She had to stick to her guns, despite the fact Darla was now hanging around Faith like a bad smell. And she needed to know what the hell Darla was even doing there.

After a very short, rather curt and tense phone call with Angel, Buffy felt no less angry. He hadn't known Darla was alive again, but he assured her he'd find out all he could. Her ex sounded just as angry, and somewhat worried, which didn't help to put Buffy at ease. There was no way Darla was back 'just because'. She had to be there for a reason, and whatever that reason was, it wouldn't be a good one. Trouble would follow, and Buffy had enough to deal with without Darla coming along and making things even more complicated.

Buffy had been nervous enough that Spike was mixing with Faith, and possibly causing her to trip back on to the wrong path, but he was far less of a threat than Darla. Something had to be done, though Buffy would have to tread carefully. Just telling Faith that she couldn't hang around with, get close to, or have icky vamp/slayer sex with Darla wasn't going to have the right effect. Faith would rebel, and do what she wanted – as always. No matter what potential danger she was in, Faith wouldn't let Buffy dictate her life, which irritated Buffy to no end. It would be so much easier if Faith would just do what she was told, or what was expected of her.

No, Buffy had to be a little more subtle than that – also for fear of giving Faith the impression she was jealous. Which she was, but Faith couldn't know that.

Maybe Giles could help. Faith would listen to him, and though he too would have trouble just outright telling Faith what to do, she was sure Faith – given her history with them all – would listen to his reason. Buffy would call him tomorrow and explain that Darla was back and causing problems, and that Faith was under some kind of influence that could have her stepping back towards the wrong side of good and evil.

He'd listen and understand, and he'd know just what to do.

Yawning and feeling her muscles relax as the slaying and the sudden anger took its toll on her body, Buffy glanced over at her telephone. She wanted to call Tru to say goodnight – which was usual now. Every night they'd share their goodnights, and sometimes a little more - that left Buffy going to sleep with a nice buzz between her legs - but she was beat tonight, and she had too much on her mind.

She'd explain to Tru tomorrow that she'd had a hard day and fallen in to bed asleep before her head had even hit the pillow. It would be a small lie, but would save her from anymore anguish. She couldn't talk to her girlfriend tonight after feeling so easily wrapped up in Faith's energy. It would have been an awkward conversation, and Buffy wasn't in the mood for any more awkward.

After a restless night full of dreams she'd rather not remember, Buffy trudged up the street to Giles' little shop. She had class in an hour but wanted to catch him early, before Faith got there for her training. Buffy knew just when Faith would be around, so she could avoid bumping into her as much as possible. It had worked well, in her favour, up until last night.

And last night had caused Buffy to have one of the most erotic dreams of Faith she'd ever had to date. The pure lust and passion they'd shared in it left her feeling guilty, and wretched. It wasn't fair on Tru to still be thinking of Faith in such a way, but then. . .she supposed she couldn't really control her dreams. It wasn't as if she'd asked to dream about Faith going down on her until she passed out from pleasure. It wasn't as if she'd wanted to fantasize about tying Faith up and. . .

Her thoughts were abruptly halted as she practically bumped into the shop door, causing her to drop one of her books on her foot.

"Stop looking at her backside," Buffy heard behind her as she bent and picked up her book.

"I'm not looking at her backside," came a following plea.

Buffy would recognise those voices, and those accusations anywhere.

She straightened up and turned around to be greeted by a wide smile from Xander, and a glare from Anya.

"Why not?" Anya then asked her boyfriend. "She has a perfectly shapely ass. Should I be worried about your sexuality?"

Xander rolled his eyes and shook his head. No matter what he said, he could never win with Anya.

With a shrug, he stepped into the shop as Buffy pushed open the door for them; letting their conversation stay between the two of them and not getting involved, even though she wasn't exactly happy about them discussing her rear end.

"Even I looked," Anya continued as she trailed behind Xander.

"Then maybe you should be more worried about your own sexuality," Xander pointed out with glee.

"That's ridiculous," Anya retorted, ignoring Buffy as she set her books down and glanced around the shop in hopes of finding Giles to end this silly discussion. "Why would I be attracted to Buffy? I mean, she has a nice, firm rear, but she's short, and annoying."

"Hey!" Buffy protested finally. "I'm not _that_ short."

"Of course not, dear," Anya replied, patting Buffy on the top of the head before wandering off behind the counter to start her daily routine of counting Giles' money.

Buffy slouched down into a chair and refrained from defending herself further. It was pointless conversing with Anya most of the time; there would be only one outcome, which would leave Buffy feeling silly, and Anya looking smug. Really, Buffy liked the girl, but she was difficult to be around.

"So, Buffster," Xander said cheerily as he plonked himself down on a seat next to Buffy, "great to see you around, because we haven't so much and we've missed you."

"Speak for yourself," Anya muttered a few feet away.

"I know," Buffy said coyly to Xander, "I've been busy."

"In LA?" Xander whispered so that Anya wouldn't hear, wiggling his eyebrows as he did so.

"No," Buffy protested with a coy smile. "Well, sometimes, but mostly just busy with school, and slaying. You know how it is."

He gave her a quizzical look.

"Not exactly, Buff," he reminded. "I don't go to school and I'm not a slayer. If I _was_ a slayer, I'd wear a costume. Something all sexy and black, like catwoman."

"You want to wear a sexy, black costume like catwoman," Buffy stated, looking pointedly at Xander.

She raised an eyebrow and watched as he followed her thought train.

"No!" he exclaimed. "Only if I was a slayer, which I'm not, and yunno. . .I have man parts, and though I'm pretty sure I could almost pull that look off – what with my deceptively handsome looks – the man parts would look freakily out of place in a catsuit."

Buffy chuckled and nodded. She could have done without that particular image.

"How are things in the world of our favourite slayer?" he asked after a slight pause.

Seeing that Anya was busy with the till, and the money within the till, Buffy gave Xander a small shrug before replying.

"Things are going ok," she told him.

"Yeah?" he pressed. "Have you and Faith been ok? 'Cause we haven't seen her around much the past two weeks either."

"I haven't really. . .she hasn't been around?" she asked, turning more towards him. "Has Giles noticed, or said anything?"

"He hasn't said anything; she still comes here to punch Giles around every day, but she doesn't hang out with us as much. We were getting a little worried that maybe you two were bruising each other on rooftops again."

"No bruising," Buffy assured. "I bumped into her last night. We slayed some vamps but didn't really talk."

Buffy went quiet, wishing that maybe they _had_ talked. She missed Faith. As crazy as that was, and as pointless as it was to think it, it was true. Slaying with her was. . .something else.

"Actually, I came here to talk to Giles, about something to do with Faith," Buffy confessed. "I think she might be in trouble."

Xander's brow creased up and he seemed genuinely upset.

"That doesn't sound good," he worried. "What kind of trouble?"

"Trouble with a capital D," she replied cryptically. "We have a visitor in Sunnydale."

He raised his eyebrows and leaned forward in his eagerness to learn more.

"I'm guessing it's not the good kind of visitor, like Santa Clause, or Superman."

"It's Darla," she told him, wondering how wise it was to talk about this before getting Giles' views on the subject.

"But how? She's. . ."

"Not as dead anymore apparently," Buffy interrupted. "I don't know how exactly but Angel's on the case. Something happened in LA, or at least that's what Darla said."

"You spoke to her?" he asked, probably surprised that Buffy hadn't just staked her on the spot.

"Yeah, and she seemed oddly friendly with Faith. I would have got my slay on otherwise," she added.

Xander nodded and stroked at is chin almost comically. Buffy knew he'd been getting along well with Faith since her arrival, and she felt bad for him. It seemed that Faith had even more to lose this time around.

"I need to talk to Giles about it. Find out what, if anything, I should do."

He nodded again.

"Could I suggest a sharp stick and some form of swift stabbing action?" he asked.

"Who are we stabbing?" Giles suddenly questioned as he wandered up behind them. "Is there a new antagonist in Sunnydale? It's been much too long since I've been able to do some good old fashioned research. In fact, I have just the set of books."

He shuffled about on a nearby desk, producing a book in each hand, which he jiggled eerily jovially.

"These just arrived from Poland," he said enthusiastically.

"Darla's back," Buffy stated, no longer worried about who knew.

Researching and killing evil things is what they did, as a team, and it felt like it had been far too long since they'd worked together in such a way. Their last big bad had been Adam and they'd really had to pull together for him, and it just seemed like they'd drifted apart since, which was a little sad, and somewhat Buffy's fault.

Giles' eyebrow quirked up and he reached for his glasses, pushing them onto his nose and donning his 'Watcher face'. It made Buffy smile inside and she regretted her decision to stay away so much. This was her domain, her home, and though Faith's presence was. . .irritating, alluring and dangerous all at the same time, it made her wonder if she'd been right to avoid everything in the way she had been.

"Do we know how? Or why?" Giles asked. "Where did you see her?"

It was clear that he was a little excited.

"Will she try to steal my man?" Anya asked, joining them at the table and possessively flinging her arm around Xander. "If so, we should call in the big guns. We need Willow and Tara, and that funny English vampire man with the silly hair."

"I'm not sure it'll come to that," Buffy said, wondering why she herself wasn't considered as a 'big gun' to Anya. "Angel's finding out how she's here, and maybe why she came to Sunnydale, and I know she's half-vampire, half-human, or something."

"So you can poof her?" Xander asked.

"I don't know, she says she has a soul now, and. . ." Buffy sighed and looked at Giles, "she's apparently Faith's. . .friend."

She chose not to tell them that they seemed closer than friends, which was very likely given both their history, and the current circumstances.

"This is news to me, I wasn't aware Faith had any new friends," Giles stated, removing his glasses and looking a little sad.

"I don't want to jump to conclusions but I don't think it's a good idea for Faith to spend her time with Darla," Buffy told them, hoping they'd agree. "She's too vulnerable."

They all nodded, but Buffy felt a bit guilty for judging Faith on something she hadn't done yet. She knew that jealousy was driving her as much as anything right now, and it left her feeling slightly uncomfortable in her own skin. She avoided their gazes as she wrestled with her own reasons for getting involved in Faith's relationships and hoped none of them realised what the real problem was.

"I need to speak to Faith," Giles stated. "Even if Darla now has a soul like you say. . .she could still be dangerous."

Buffy bit her lower lip, feeling more terrible by the second for pushing her nose in where it most definitely wasn't invited. Though Giles was right and Buffy knew he'd be subtle, she could only imagine Faith taking it badly when she was told who she could and couldn't befriend. There would be repercussions, and Faith would probably blame Buffy.

Just another day in Sunnydale when the two slayers are on a different page.

"Ok, I'll leave that with you, and I'll let Angel know you'll do some of the research thing too," Buffy said. "I'd better go before. . ."

She stopped herself from saying "before Faith comes in and things get awkward," as it didn't need to be said. They'd all realised she was keeping away from Faith, though they didn't say anything or make it their business, and Giles didn't know about Tru and all the extra weirdness between her and Faith now. She was grateful they just nodded and smiled as she scooped up her books and set off for college.

The next few days were going to be tenser than usual. Buffy fully expected some kind of showdown with Faith about Darla, and she didn't know if she was mentally - or emotionally - prepared for it.

TBC…


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

Leaning against the large, ominous door of Spike's surprisingly plush crypt, Buffy tried to sense if he was alone or not. It didn't seem like there was more than just the one vampire in there, but she couldn't be too careful, especially if Darla wasn't in fact fully vampire.

Deciding against knocking in case she caught Darla in the act of. . .just being there, Buffy pushed the door open, wondering why Spike had never thought it necessary to get a lock. She smirked as she caught Spike washing his underwear in an old iron tub in the corner of the room. His back was to her and he was shaking the water from his briefs, humming a tune to himself, oblivious to Buffy's entrance.

"Tighty whities?" Buffy asked with a chuckle.

He dropped his slightly less than white underwear back into the soapy water.

"Bloody hell," he murmured, "a bloke can't get a minute's peace around here. What do you want?"

"Can't I just come visit?" Buffy asked, still grinning at him.

"No, you bloody well can't. I'm busy."

"I can see that," she pointed out, nodding towards his very small pile of clothes. "I always wondered what you wear when your one pair of pants and one tee shirt is getting washed."

She didn't hide the mirth in her voice. He was decked out in gaudy Bermuda shorts and an old, discoloured tee shirt at least two sizes too small.

Looking down at himself he gave a shrug. "It's all I had," he offered. "Now stop gawping and say whatever it is you came to say."

She took a little pity on him as he didn't look particularly cheerful, or smug, as was his usual appearance.

"You've heard the news I'm guessing," she said.

"Darla?" he deduced. "That bint has no right waltzing around like she owns the place again."

"I agree."

He left his washing for the moment and moved over to his dilapidated la-z-boy, snatching a packet of cigarettes from the arm and sliding one between his lips.

"She's nothing but trouble, and the quicker you stake her the better," he stated. "I'll help sharpen your stake."

She wondered just why Spike was so keen on getting rid of her, but the less she knew about the relationship history of Darla, Spike, Dru and Angel the better. The little she knew was enough as far as she was concerned. It wasn't her business, and truth be told. . .the whole thing made her shudder.

"I can't stake her, not yet anyway," she told him.

"Well what kind of slayer are you?" he jibed. "She's dangerous, making me a laughing stock, and she. . .she's getting in the bloody way."

Buffy raised an eyebrow as Spike got more and more agitated.

"In the way?" she questioned, curious as to what he meant. If Darla was planning something, she needed to know.

He grumbled, like he didn't want to continue sharing in this way, and lit his cigarette. With a puff of smoke into the air, his shoulders dropped further and Buffy almost felt sorry for him. Without his 'armour' and with his skinny white legs sticking out of ridiculously colourful shorts he looked quite pathetic. He was practically pouting.

"Wait, are we talking about Darla and Faith here?" she guessed, watching his eyes narrow as she spoke.

"It's a bloody liberty," he said. "I told myself I shouldn't bother getting friendly with a slayer; they're too fickle. No loyalty."

He sounded like he was talking from experience, but Buffy knew he wasn't. The only slayers he'd been remotely 'friendly' with were her and Faith.

"So you're pissed because Darla stole your only friend?" Buffy asked, barely disguising the sarcasm.

"Don't know what you're looking so smarmy about," he pointed. "With Faith all over Darla she's not gonna have the time of day for you either."

Buffy thought about that for a moment. It would have been perfect; getting Faith out of her hair and not having to worry about what they both felt or what they wanted. But it wasn't perfect. She didn't like the idea of Faith with Darla. If she were being honest – which she wasn't going to be with Spike – she didn't like the idea of Faith being with anybody.

"What she does, or 'who' she does doesn't concern me," she lied, badly. "I just need to know if Darla poses a threat. If she's here to hurt people."

"And how would I know that? She barely looked at me when I last saw her," he told Buffy. "She was being all suspicious-like, though."

"Suspicious how?" Buffy pressed.

"Hanging around the cemetery, without Faith in tow," he replied. "Got the feeling she was waiting for something. And the local demons seem kinda spooked right now. Something's brewing."

Buffy really didn't like the sound of that. Darla could have been recruiting local vampires to drill up a small gang. They'd all do her bidding given her history, half-vampire or not. She'd have to be extra careful out on patrol. She'd also have to inform Giles and hope he could persuade Faith to stay away from Darla. Either Darla was hoping to get Faith on her side so they could take over the hellmouth, or she was using Faith as bait. Whatever the case, Faith wasn't in a great position.

"We need to stop her before she does anything. . .bad," Buffy said, creasing her brow in concentration and almost forgetting who she was talking to.

Spike wasn't part of their team, but surely he could be an asset in this. He obviously didn't trust Darla and wanted her gone, not to mention he didn't like the fact that Darla was now all in Faith's business. Buffy imagined they could use him, she just wasn't sure how yet, beyond him lurking in shadows as per usual.

"Well when you decide to stake her, let me know. I'll bring popcorn."

"Just keep your eyes open," she asked. "And if you can try to talk to Faith and get her away from Darla that'd be a big help."

His old smirk came out a little as he peered at Buffy.

"A little peeved that some other girl has got her fingers in your pie?" he questioned, sitting back in his dirty old chair as Buffy stepped towards the door.

"Faith isn't my. . .pie," she asserted, feeling a little flushed at the sudden images of her fingers in said metaphorical Faith-pie. "She just doesn't need Darla ruining her life now she's trying to do the right thing. Just be a good little vampire and let me know if you find anything out."

"Oh, don't worry about that, I'll make sure you have all the information I can get my hands on. Nobody comes into my town and gets all uppity without consequences."

Buffy gave him a slightly sceptical look but she had no other real reason to doubt him. He had motive enough to see to it that Darla didn't stay too long; that would have to do. She didn't trust him, not by a long shot, but he was definitely the lesser of two evils right now.

She left shortly after Spike started insinuating about just what kind of relationship Darla was having with Faith. They'd both got an angry glare in their eyes at the supposition, and Buffy thought it best to leave before either of them said anything too revealing. Plus, listening to Spike talk as if he had a shot at Faith to begin with made Buffy want to strangle him to death, slowly. He was deluded, but Buffy needed his connections with the underground to figure out just how much of a threat Darla was right now.

So she made her way home after a quick sweep of the cemetery, keeping to the shadows so she didn't inadvertently bump into Darla and/or Faith. Buffy wasn't ready to face them again together; doubting whether she'd be able to hold her tongue this time, or hide just how angry she was at seeing Faith moving on. Not that she expected Faith to simper after her forever, but she'd only just come back to Sunnydale, and they'd only just confessed to each other that they'd always wanted more, and they'd only just almost had sex on the floor of the Magic Box. Surely if Faith really wanted to convince Buffy that it was her she wanted and not Tru she wouldn't jump in bed with the first 'half-vampire' that came along.

Surely, even though Faith had told her that she was now "done with trying to be good enough" for her, she wouldn't just give up that easily.

It just went to prove that Tru had really been the right choice. Buffy could trust in Tru.

Buffy sat heavily at her desk, trying to hard not to think of Faith anymore that night. She was tired and agitated. She had a pile of homework to do that she was tempted to just shove to the floor and forget about. And she was hungry.

First things first, Buffy changed, then she gave Tru a call to confirm plans for the weekend, then she ordered a pizza and got suitably greasy and plump around the stomach. Then she decided to tackle some homework. Pushing it aside again would just make matters worse, and the last thing she needed to do right now was mess up her education. It wasn't as if she wanted to be a lawyer or a doctor, or anything really, but she didn't want to disappoint her mom, or Giles.

It was getting into the early hours of the morning by the time Buffy felt like she'd made a nice dent in the homework pile, and she decided it was time for bed. Though late nights were her 'thing' as a slayer, she really did feel exhausted.

Pushing down her jogging bottoms and leaving herself in just an overlong tee shirt and panties, Buffy sat back down at her desk ready to moisturise and tie her hair up. She was determined to keep her thoughts blank, or focused on her very lovely girlfriend, and she was mostly able to in her drowsy state, but there was always a niggle of something in the back of her mind that kept her feeling off-balance. She hated the feeling and hoped it would pass one day. Maybe if she were to bring Tru to Sunnydale and make her more part of her life it would finally put a nail in the coffin that was her and Faith.

She could only hope.

With a yawn, Buffy pulled the covers back on her bed and flicked the bedside light on. She'd already brushed her teeth and switched off the big light in the centre of the room, and a book lay on her nightstand waiting to read. It would hopefully help with that desire to rid her mind of all her angst before she went to sleep. She'd try anything at this point, even though reading had always kind of bored her. Reading was more a Willow thing.

Just as Buffy ensured her bedroom door was locked there was a knock on it. Not a quiet knock either.

"What the. . ." Buffy grumbled.

It was two o'clock in the morning so who could possibly be hammering at her door?

With caution, Buffy flicked the lock and grasped the door handle. She didn't know why she was feeling so apprehensive, but there was something she could sense making her pause; a slight tickle of recognition; a slayer-tingle.

An exasperated sigh drifted from Buffy's lips but she opened the door without further hesitation. Peeking around the door she instantly saw that it was indeed Faith. Further inspection ensured that Faith was alone, thankfully.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked curtly, pulling the door open wider.

"The usual," Faith slurred cryptically.

She rested a hand on the doorframe and gave Buffy the once over without looking in the least bit apologetic for doing it.

Faith was drunk.

It didn't take a genius to figure that one out. She smelled like a bar and her eyes were slightly unfocused, even as they slid all over Buffy. With a shudder that she hoped Faith hadn't noticed, Buffy tried to ignore the fact that Faith was trying to eat her with her eyes.

She sighed again and shook her head in disappointment.

"Why are you here?" Buffy pressed, hoping the visit would be short. This was a recipe for disaster, especially given Faith's choice of attire.

Faith was wearing the smallest black mini-skirt Buffy had ever seen, and her top was equally small, and very tight, as it hugged Faith underneath a well worn leather jacket. She had on some fierce boots and the whole ensemble screamed sex. On anybody else it might have been tacky, or way over the top, but on Faith it just looked hot. A double shot of hot, with a dash of sultry as a mixer. The look was distracting to say the least, but Buffy was doing her best not to notice.

"Giles," Faith began, much too loudly; her voice echoed around the hallway making Buffy cringe.

"Jesus Christ, come in before you wake the entire floor," Buffy insisted, pulling on Faith's arm and closing the door behind them. "What about Giles?" she asked.

Faith turned towards her with a smirk, her eyes leaving Buffy for the moment as she looked around the small room; her gaze drifting slowly over Buffy's things.

"Sweet place," Faith told her, her smile still as predatory as when she'd first arrived.

"Sure," Buffy dismissed. Her 'place' was small and cramped and lacking in any kind of character, unlike Faith's funky pad with its large TV, booming stereo and a plethora of video game entertainment. "It's practically palatial, now what do you want?"

"What do I want?" Faith repeated, making it sound like she was trying to have sex with the words.

The drink had made her voice drop even lower, huskier, and far too sexy for Buffy's liking. Not that she didn't actually like it – in fact she loved it, but that was the problem.

"Yes," Buffy insisted, hating the fact her own voice had suddenly taken on a sultry burr without her consent.

Faith was stalking closer and Buffy tried to surreptitiously back away until her butt hit the edge of her desk, which quickly reminded her of her state of undress as the cool wood gave her a little shock.

"Isn't it obvious what I want, B?" Faith asked, her eyebrows doing that cute confused thing that made Buffy want to die right then and there to get away from it.

This line of conversation was quickly getting out of hand and headed for bad things. Buffy had to steer things away from the obvious heat between them; and damn was there heat right now. Buffy almost wanted to pull her own tee shirt off to cool down, but she doubted that would halt Faith's slow advance.

"Giles," Buffy blurted, recalling what Faith had said in the hall before she'd yanked her inside.

"What?" Faith practically yelled. "No, I don't want Giles. What kinda twisted. . ."

"No, I mean, what did you mean when you said Giles just before?" Buffy asked, trying to explain. Safe ground. They needed safe ground because she could barely shift her gaze from Faith's bare thighs and generous cleavage.

Faith seemed to stop and think for a moment.

"Oh right," she finally murmured, her features showing a clear change in mood from drunkenly-seductive to hesitantly-annoyed. "I'm pissed at you. And Giles."

She didn't exactly sound pissed, in the angry sense. Her voice was softer now and she appeared almost hurt, or maybe it was just confusion. Faith certainly wasn't an angry drunk.

"I'm guessing he spoke to you about Darla," Buffy suggested.

"Damn right he did, and it. . .seriously, Buffy?" Faith sighed, running a hand through her long hair that was currently straight and sleek, and making Buffy want to run her own fingers through it. "Getting Giles to tell me who to hang with? It's not cool."

Buffy wanted to tell Faith she was well within her rights to worry, but she knew it had been unfair to assume the worst off the bat. Still, she wasn't about to let Faith know that.

"Faith, you don't know what Darla wants. You don't know her," Buffy asserted. "We're just concerned."

"I know her plenty," Faith countered, and though she didn't say it, Buffy could guess just how exactly she knew her. "She's not here to cause trouble, and it's nobody's business who I. . ."

Buffy couldn't help but look away and it caused Faith to abruptly leave her sentence hanging.

"Just stay outta my fucking business, B," Faith warned with very little enthusiasm.

She sounded deflated, which might have been the drink, but Buffy was sure it must have been something else. She felt concern, and she wanted to help but didn't know how. They'd never really been friends and their attempts at it had always gone awry. There had always been too much tension. Too much passion.

"I don't want to be in your business, Faith," Buffy pointed out, hoping her lie wouldn't be detected, "but something isn't right. Darla shouldn't be. . ."

"Ok, ok," Faith interrupted, waving her hands around, moving slightly unsteadily towards Buffy again. "I get it, but I'm not fucking stupid. And you're not exactly Miss. High-And-Mighty morals yourself right now so back off."

There wasn't much Buffy could say to that. Faith was right, but there was probably more at stake than what Faith could imagine. She obviously hadn't thought about the further implications of Darla being in Sunnydale. Buffy could have tried to explain, but Faith was in no state to listen. She doubted she'd remember anything she said right now anyway by the morning.

"We'll talk about this another time," Buffy offered. "Right now you should go home and sleep this off."

She waved her hand at Faith to indicate her general inebriated state, but Faith just grinned at her and took a step towards her so they were within reaching distance.

"I dunno, I kinda like it right here," Faith said as her gaze ran the entire way up Buffy's uncovered legs.

Feeling herself flush with barely restrained desire, Buffy glanced over at her sweatpants lying on the chair by her bed. Faith's eyes had a way of making her feel naked enough as it was, so standing around in just a tee shirt and panties wasn't exactly putting her at ease.

"Faith," Buffy began, but she stopped and licked her suddenly dry lips as Faith got even closer, her hand resting on the desk right next to Buffy as she sidled up beside her. "You really should go."

She hoped she hadn't just swallowed really loudly, but the raised eyebrow from Faith clearly indicated she hadn't missed how uncomfortable Buffy felt.

"I could tell ya that you really don't want me to go, but you already know it," Faith said huskily, leaning forward so the words caressed Buffy's ear with lips threatening to follow suit.

Faith's demeanour was so loose compared to usual. Normally she was on edge, ready to jump into fight or flight; the alcohol running through her veins had noticeably turned down the dial on her nervous energy, or her attitude. Whichever it was, it had Buffy fumbling in the dark, but there was no forgetting the obvious.

"We've talked about this before," Buffy reminded. "I'm with somebody."

Her voice was so quiet she wondered if Faith had heard, but she wasn't going to repeat herself; she was too afraid the tremble in her voice would become more obvious as Faith moved her hand from the desk to Buffy's forearm. Her fingers were warm and they ghosted over Buffy with a promise, a memory, a need that Buffy could feel right the way through her.

It would be easy to give in, but the repercussions would not be easy. The fallout would be massive, and violent, and it scared Buffy too much.

She jerked away from Faith, but not too far, standing by her old wooden desk chair now as Faith slid into the perch on the edge of the desk that Buffy had just occupied. Their eyes were locked, almost in battle, as Buffy tried to say the things she knew she had to say. But she didn't say "leave," or "go," she just stared, with her heart in her mouth.

They were still too close, but Buffy's feet seemed glued to the spot, the chair behind her bumping against the backs of her legs as she recoiled without actually moving.

"You're with the _wrong_ somebody," Faith practically whispered, though the deep timbre to her voice made Buffy close her eyes and will her body not to react.

"I thought you said you were done with this, Faith," Buffy reminded, barely trusting her voice not to betray her.

"Yeah well, I'm drunk, and I. . ."

Faith stalled, looking more vulnerable than Buffy had ever seen her. It almost had her reaching out to Faith, but she remained still, watching Faith's chest rise and fall quicker by the second.

As they allowed the atmosphere to taint them with a heady pressure that had them both breathing quicker, Buffy saw something cross Faith's features. One minute she seemed vulnerable and unsure, but as if a light switched on inside her she suddenly shifted. Her eyes grew darker and she pushed away from the desk with one destination in mind – Buffy.

Buffy wanted to back away, wanted to tell Faith no, but she couldn't. She allowed Faith to pin her with her eyes and the intensity behind them as she shrugged her jacket off and let it fall to the floor. She allowed herself to feel Faith; what she did to her and how she made her body react. She allowed the distance to disintegrate between them.

"I don't think this is a very good. . ."

Buffy didn't get her thoughts out as Faith's body imposed upon her own, making her sit abruptly in the chair directly behind her. With a thud, Buffy landed on the hard wood, her eyes never leaving Faith's as Faith continued forward.

One minute Faith was standing before her, the next she was straddling Buffy's lap on the chair, her arms hanging loose at her sides as she settled her weight onto Buffy. It took a monumental effort for Buffy to breathe normally, and she was losing that battle. Her gaze lingered on Faith's slightly parted lips, then travelled down to the flush of skin above her chest, to the swell of her breasts and the solid surface of her stomach. She took in the shock of skin that revealed itself between Faith's top and her skirt, and finally she allowed her gaze to settle between Faith's legs, to the promises just beyond the small stretch of material hiding Faith from her open admiration.

"Like what you see?" Faith drawled, scooting forward ever so slightly and causing Buffy to let slip a shuddering sigh that gave away all her secrets.

She could feel Faith's heat on her lap. She could smell her arousal already. Buffy's resolve was quickly burning up with the need she felt to have this girl. Faith's breasts were so close to her face, to her lips, and Buffy wanted to cry with frustration.

If she were able to think straight she'd be pushing Faith off her and throwing her out, but the only movement was coming from Faith as she met Buffy's eyes with a grin and quickly pulled off her top, revealing heavy breasts and dark nipples just begging to be touched – she wasn't wearing a bra.

"Faith, this isn't fair," Buffy said, not recognising her voice as she spoke through the haze of desire and need, her mouth watering as she let her gaze devour the gorgeous girl on her lap.

"You wanna talk about fair, B?" Faith asked, the hint of a threat slipping free. "I think we already covered what's fair."

How could Buffy gain the higher ground in this? She couldn't. Fair didn't come into it considering all the facts and all she'd done.

Swallowing hard, Buffy stiffened as Faith reached down and took one of her wrists, bringing Buffy's hand up so her fingers glanced across the side of a full breast. Buffy closed her eyes but it didn't help, it just heightened every other sense; all she could feel and smell was Faith. Her mind was racing, her heart was pounding. She had to get away but she didn't.

Letting Faith guide her fingers towards a taut nipple, Faith's breath trembling from her lips at the first touch, Buffy felt her control slipping bit by bit. Faith pushed into Buffy's hand and Buffy's eyelids flew open as her other hand was taken from her control and lifted to the closest expanse of bare thigh that was pinning her to the chair.

She continued to press her palm against Faith's hard nipple even though Faith had now let go in order to settle her hand on Buffy's shoulder. She felt the weight of the breast at her touch, felt the way kneading it and stroking her thumb over the nipple made Faith react. Faith was subtly moving her hips and Buffy gritted her teeth in order not to mimic the motion. This couldn't happen, but apparently it was; she was yet to release Faith's breast, and her other hand was being guided under the small slither of skirt that hid the last of Faith from her.

"So hot for you," Faith breathed; her forehead dropping softly onto Buffy's in the small space between them on the chair.

This was wrong. Buffy knew this was wrong, but as her fingertips reached the damp material of Faith's panties she lost all hope of thinking about stopping, of thinking about Tru. Right then there was no room for Tru in her head. No room at all.

Buffy pressed her fingertips against Faith under her skirt and they both groaned; the heat she found there was almost unbearable, and Faith was wet. Very wet.

"Oh god," Buffy sighed, knowing how she'd hate herself if this didn't stop, but knowing that she wanted this. Right now, she wanted this so badly it made her whole body hum with a yearning that frightened her.

It frightened her, but she wanted more. She had to have Faith's aching desire trickling over her fingers. There was no question about it.

"Fuck me, Buffy," Faith whispered so low and sensual in her ear.

And she knew that she would.

TBC…


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Just want to say a HUGE thank you to all who've left a review so far for this story. I really appreciate the generosity of your time and your thoughts. Thank you.**

**Oh, and WARNING: Femslash ahead.**

Chapter Twenty Two

Little by little Buffy found herself slipping into the heady, reckless desire Faith was creating. Her resolve no longer seemed justifiable, her resistance just an idea far out of reach. She'd always wanted Faith and here she was, half naked on her lap, her body ready and primed for Buffy. How could she deny Faith, or herself?

With a ball of anger inside herself that Buffy knew would only expand, she brushed her fingertips over Faith's panties as Faith dug her fingernails into her shoulder. Buffy had never touched Faith this intimately before. They'd never been this close to it, and now that they were she wanted it all. Her conscience be damned, she was going to take Faith just the way she'd dreamed about. So what if this was insane, if she wasn't single, if Faith was drunk. . .a raw need possessed her the like of which she'd never experienced before.

Feeling completely unlike herself, unable to deter herself from taking this road, Buffy withdrew her hand from under Faith's skirt, enjoying the soft whimper of helpless need from Faith as she gripped Buffy tightly.

"Buffy, come on! You. . ."

Buffy didn't allow Faith to say anything further; bringing both her hands up to grab Faith's head and luxuriate in the tumble of dark hair over her fingers, she brought Faith's mouth to her own. She kissed Faith with abandon, their lips bruising and tongues seeking, instantly teasing and tasting. She clearly heard them both moan when Faith's hands also held Buffy's head just where she wanted it, and the room became filled with gasping breaths and the wet smack of hunger.

Their insatiable kissing brought Faith closer to Buffy on the chair, making her spread her legs wider. Buffy groaned and pulled back; just able to look down between them. Pushed up further because of her position, Faith's skirt now no longer hid her panties. They were tiny, black, and most definitely moist.

"Jesus, Faith," Buffy said with a lusty sigh as she yanked Faith's lips back for more.

She couldn't get enough of Faith's mouth, lips tingling and tongues darting in and out. Buffy had never been much of a fan of this kind of – what she would call 'porno-kissing', but it felt so good with Faith. In fact she felt it right the way through her. Every nerve was alive, every sense honed to this space, this act. There was nothing in her mind right then other than Faith and what she wanted to do to her.

Dropping her hands to Faith's shoulders, she slid her palms down, knowing exactly where she was going and feeling Faith tightening all over as she got there.

Two full breasts in her hands, Buffy felt their weight, their softness and the limits of their pleasure for Faith has she squeezed and pressed. She wasn't being gentle, but there was no anger behind her touches, just unadulterated need.

"Fuck," Faith hissed, her body trying to get impossibly close, hips rolling as she claimed Buffy's desire as her own.

The way Faith was moving and the way her muscles jumped and stiffened depending on what Buffy did was incredibly sexy. Buffy found herself drowning in that sexiness. Revelling in it; happily letting it engulf her and whisper to her the things she needed to hear.

She couldn't quite believe this was happening and that she was taking what she wanted, but there was no way she could stop now.

Pulling her mouth from Faith's, Buffy descended on her breasts before even a hint of fear or trepidation attempted to implant itself in her mind. She surrounded a dusky nipple with her mouth, tugging with her lips, and sucking until Faith was practically trembling on her lap. Hands still grabbing and kneading, she went from nipple to nipple and back, indulging and suckling for all she was worth. She was dizzy with desire and pressed her cheeks against Faith's breasts, alternating between them, needing to feel the soft skin and imprint the knowledge of their smoothness on her own. She was quickly becoming infatuated with Faith's scent and the taste of her skin; there was nothing but her need to have, to know, to burn it all deep inside her. She'd never been like this; never had this hunger. Not even with Tru.

As Buffy's lips continued to suck and tug, tongue flicking and teeth scraping at the solid peaks craving her attentions, Faith slid her hands into Buffy's hair and held her firm. It wasn't until Faith tugged slightly, making a nipple plop from her mouth, that Buffy got the message that Faith was trying to gain some semblance of control.

"Holy crap, Buffy," Faith said with a shudder; Buffy's hands still upon the breasts she quickly decided were utterly glorious. "If you keep doing that. . .I'm gonna come."

It sounded quite likely given her breathlessness and the way her body was tensing and trembling, just on the verge of release. And as hot as the thought was of Faith coming right then and there without Buffy even touching her pussy, Buffy didn't want it to be over that quickly. She had a feeling, niggling and festering in the back of her mind, that once Faith did come. . .she wouldn't stick around for anything more.

"Sorry," Buffy apologised quietly, gliding her fingers down across Faith's stomach to give her boobs a rest. "They're just so. . .nice."

She almost blushed with her confession, but as she looked up into Faith's eyes, she knew she didn't need to feel embarrassed. Faith's pupils were huge, and the brown of her eyes was a swirling canvas of chocolate flecked with gold. All she could see was how much Faith wanted her and it made Buffy lose the last of her guilty fear.

Bringing their lips back together, kissing a little slower this time - every touch of their tongues together stoking the fire between them – Buffy let desire take her hand. The longing she'd always had for Faith roared through her and she let it lead her. She wanted to make Faith come. She wanted to see it and feel it and be the reason Faith frayed at the edges until all the hurt and anger fell away. Until the past was a distant memory that didn't matter; didn't taint them with its ugliness.

Barely recognising her own voice Buffy whispered, "I wanna fuck you," against Faith's skin as she moved her mouth to kiss at her neck. "I don't wanna think, I just want to feel."

"Do it," Faith encourage raggedly, half a plea and half a command.

Before Buffy could convince herself out of it, before she could find the awareness or courage to stop and think, to stop and breathe, she lifted Faith as she stood from the chair. Faith got the idea and hooked her legs around Buffy's waist and held on tightly. Her lips still attached to Faith's neck, Buffy moved them towards her bed, groaning as she felt Faith's slick need against her stomach through her tee shirt. A shudder almost had her stumbling with Faith, but she managed to get them to their destination, dropping Faith down to the mattress with little ceremony.

Faith grinned up at her, leaning sloppily back on her elbows on the bed. Deciding to ignore, once again, how drunk Faith appeared to be, Buffy tugged off her own tee shirt and threw it behind her. Her judgment was clouded but she knew Faith wanted this so it wasn't as if she was taking advantage. It wasn't as if Faith hadn't asked for this, begged for this. They both knew it was an inevitability that they'd finally come together in this way, regardless of the chaos it would cause. Chaos Buffy pushed from her thoughts.

Just in her panties now as she stood at the foot of the bed in front of Faith, Buffy enjoyed Faith's gaze as it travelled eagerly over her, fuelling her ardour even more. She too couldn't stop looking at Faith, letting every inch of her burn into her retinas; letting every inch of her mark her within. Faith's strong shoulders, her breasts, the flat stomach, scar. The scar.

Buffy blinked and felt a tightness in her chest that wasn't entirely pleasant. She'd put that scar there. She had to ignore it, as she was ignoring everything else right now.

She tore her eyes away from it and leaned down between Faith's legs, tugging at her boots, yanking them off and letting them drop to the floor. An almost oppressive silence filled the space between them but she made Faith gasp ever so slightly in surprise as she pulled her down the bed a little way. If possible, Faith's eyes got even darker and Buffy felt her stomach flipping and tightening at the thought of what she wanted to do to Faith. What she was about to do.

Still drinking in the sight of Faith's tight muscles and lightly tanned skin, Buffy lowered herself onto the mattress on her knees and ran her hands up Faith's thighs, noting the silky smooth skin and parting Faith's legs a little further. She licked her lips and felt her heart pounding so viciously she was afraid she might just drop dead before ever getting the chance to touch Faith properly.

They looked deep into each other as Buffy's fingernails tripped over hard muscles until she reached the tiny skirt Faith was barely wearing anymore. She pushed the material all the way up, as far as it would go, and without hesitation tugged at the panties beneath. Faith's lips were slightly parted and - almost coyly - she bit on her lower one as she lifted her hips to help Buffy slide the damp material down.

With a swift tug the panties were gone and Buffy tried to ignore the pulsing between her own thighs long enough to continue. She pushed at Faith's legs to arrange them back where they'd been – spread before her – and lowered herself further onto the bed. She was shaking and hot, her heart beating treble time and her stomach a fluttering mess. She almost wanted Faith to say something that would ruin the moment because this was too intense. Too real.

But Faith didn't speak. Unusually, she kept her mouth shut and let Buffy lead them down this treacherous path.

Buffy's mouth was practically watering now as she lingered close to her goal, taking in the sight of Faith naked – practically – before her. Her strong legs were bent and parted enough for Buffy to see Faith's arousal and she wanted to taste. She so badly wanted to taste, to delve into the heat, to drown in the scent that was making her light-headed; a slight case of nerves stalled her forward momentum.

She paused with her hands resting on the bed either side of Faith's hip, trying to hold herself together.

"I've never done this," Buffy confessed quietly, the breathless and deep cadence to her voice visibly making Faith shudder.

Faith, resting on her elbows as she watched Buffy, seemed to stop breathing for a second.

Looking from between her thighs up to Buffy, Faith asked, "You mean you've never. . .gone down on Tru?"

Buffy shook her head no, feeling a subtle blush creep up her neck.

Faith blew out a loud breath and fell back to the mattress, her hands going to her head as she lay before Buffy.

"I've done other things just not. . .this," Buffy declared, staying low between Faith's legs, wishing she hadn't said anything at all now. She really wanted to do this with Faith. She _only_ wanted to do this with Faith she realised – which was probably why she'd never attempted it on Tru.

"B, you don't have to do that," Faith said, sounding tired now – probably due to the booze. "Just use your fing. . ."

Faith let out a gasp as Buffy decided to swallow her fear and get them past this barrier. Brushing a thumb over Faith's wet pussy, letting it slip between the folds, she placed her hands on the insides of Faith's thighs. Holding her open and feeling a gush of arousal between her own legs, she enjoyed the very first touch. Settling herself into a comfortable position, Buffy slid her fingers over Faith; tentatively pushing up over Faith's clit, then bringing her fingers down either side of it.

She drank in the sight and it made her feel things she'd never felt – never even knew existed. Faith was wet, open, and needing her desperately if the quick breaths and slight movement of her hips was anything to go by.

She could have studied Faith for hours, just touching her lightly and marvelling in the way she felt against her fingertips, but there would be no more making her wait; Buffy leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Faith's inner thigh, just shy of where Faith needed her. Then, trying to concentrate past the fluttering inside her chest and stomach, Buffy placed another kiss, this time over Faith's engorged clit. The kiss made Faith gasp out an expletive and Buffy gently sucked, taking in insanely soft flesh and an incredibly sensual taste between her lips.

"Oh, fuck," Faith moaned, causing Buffy to moan right back, the vibration making them both shudder.

Feeling the frantic need within Faith, Buffy flicked out her tongue then licked Faith fully; letting her juices coat every taste bud and her soft, pink flesh tantalise Buffy into being bolder with every stroke. It was clear where Faith needed her most, as every time Buffy pressed her tongue against Faith's clit, Faith nearly shot off the bed with a heady moan. But Buffy didn't want this to end too quickly, and she took her time, exploring Faith, letting her lips and tongue know this place as only a lover could.

Placing a hand on Faith's tight stomach so she could feel every tensing ripple of muscle, she held Faith firmly at the hip with the other and fully spoiled herself with indulgence. She may have been new at this, but she'd wanted this for longer than she'd even known herself. Her body had wanted this, did want this; and though she hated to admit it, so did her heart.

"You taste amazing," Buffy murmured into Faith, enjoying not only Faith's pussy but also the sounds she made above her.

Every moan and gasp worked its way inside Buffy, snaking around her in ways she wished Faith couldn't. In places she'd tried to keep Faith out of.

"Jesus, B," Faith groaned, trying to lift her hips into Buffy's face for more direct pressure. "You're driving me crazy here."

Buffy couldn't help but smirk a little as she swirled her tongue around, enjoying the trembles that clearly indicated Faith badly needed to come. Somehow she doubted Faith was used to waiting for what she needed, and any minute now Buffy knew the tables would turn. Or Faith would snap. Or. . .

"I need you to fuck me!" Faith demanded, their eyes snagging on each other over Faith's undulating body.

Watching Faith for a moment with her tongue still lightly circling the sensitive clit, Buffy allowed herself to see the fire inside Faith that had always scared her. It didn't scare her now.

Swiping her tongue over Faith's pussy, as if licking a Popsicle, she stopped and grinned, and felt for the bond between them. The mystical one that Giles wasn't even sure should exist. The one that spoke of slayers and demons and all things that crawled through the night. That spoke of the yearning between them and the depth they were inside each other.

It was there, just beyond the desire, the pleasure and the deep emotions that warred within. It was there. Buffy swiped again, murmuring her fondness of Faith's taste and the amount of fluid now flowing from her. Faith was dripping wet now and she shuddered, clearly trying not to breathe too fast, too harsh, too obviously.

When Buffy lowered her face again she drove her tongue into Faith's hole, filling it as much as she could. Fucking it in a way she just knew Faith wanted.

"Oh, yeah!" Faith exclaimed. "That's it. Keep your tongue inside me, Buffy."

Her hips jerked up as Buffy entered her, over and over until Buffy was surrounded by Faith; by thighs, heat, soaked sheets and increasingly loud moans. A hand went to Buffy's head, fingers slipping into her hair, but not too rough, not too demanding. She allowed Buffy to control this; her tongue engulfed by Faith's pussy as she pushed it inside and felt her own heart soaring.

She was inside Faith. She was inside a part of her that she could possess. That she could lose herself in. That she had wanted for so, so long.

"Ooooh, Buffy," Faith sighed, her body on the verge and beginning to climax. "Keep fucking me. Don't stop."

Feeling Faith's walls tighten around her tongue with every hard thrust, Buffy moved her hand and slipped her fingers over the swollen clit just above her nose. Her own pussy twitched with need and she breathed hard into Faith as she fucked her to the limit. She lifted her gaze and watched. Watched the stunning girl in her bed tremble, the muscles tighten, her free hand grabbing at the sheets as she gave herself to Buffy.

It was beautiful. Faith was beautiful as she came.

"Oh, Jesus, fuck!" Faith cried out as she convulsed; her fingers digging into Buffy's head.

Wet heat flooded into Buffy's mouth as she thrust into Faith's tight pussy one last time, deep as she could go with her tongue, licking and wiggling. Her fingers slipped away and she held onto Faith tightly to keep her hips where she needed them; she wanted to drink Faith down. She needed to ride it out with Faith until the last second. Until the very last tremble.

With breathless pants, Faith tugged gently on Buffy's hair, indicating that she needed her to give her a minute, a pause as she caught her breath. Though she was happy where she was, now kissing and sucking softly at Faith's pulsing hole, Buffy respected Faith's desire for her to stop. She lifted her head and Faith's fingers untangled from her hair, her arm dropping to her side where it lay motionless and as limp as the other arm now was. Watching Faith's chest bob up and down with every breath, Buffy took her time to stay as close to Faith as she could before Faith did the inevitable and left.

Buffy knew it was coming. She'd known it from the start and went ahead anyway; chaos and cruelty be damned.

Kissing over Faith's inner thighs and up towards her stomach, she braced herself, both physically and emotionally; her hands either side of Faith, and her heart in her mouth. But Faith didn't move. As Faith's breathing evened out and her body clearly relaxed Buffy raised an eyebrow and looked up to Faith's face.

Faith had apparently passed out.

Unsure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, Buffy moved slowly, crawling up beside Faith on the bed. She kept her gaze on Faith's closed eyelids and tried to calm her own breathing, her own ardour. The sheets on the bed had already been turned down so it wouldn't be too difficult to pull them out from under Faith and cover them both, but she really doubted Faith would want that. She'd probably want woken so she could gloat and then go. Fucking and running was Faith's style, not staying and snuggling up close.

Taking a deep breath and ignoring the niggling doubts and accusations in her mind, the screams of "cheater" and "liar", Buffy just lay and stared for a while. Her heart had betrayed her and brought her to this place and she watched Faith's breathing and enjoyed the moment of peace on her face, and the taste of her still on her own lips. She watched as goosebumps rippled in the wake of her hand as she snuck it over Faith's skin and rested it on the hip furthest from her.

This moment felt surreal; as if she was in a dream. Like a glass about to fall from a table and shatter into a million pieces it swayed and rolled towards the edge. Buffy doubted she could catch it. She'd never been able to before.

Anxiously resting her head by Faith's shoulder and getting as close as she could, she stole as much of Faith's time and comfort as she could before reality woke up to slap her hard in the face, and before Faith woke up to take her leave. Just a few minutes, Buffy told herself. Just a few.

Her own eyes began to close and she felt the night begin to grab at her but movement against her jolted Buffy fully awake again and she waited for everything to go bang.

"Hey, no sleeping," Faith said drowsily; sleep or alcohol, Buffy couldn't tell. Maybe both. "We're not done."

Buffy didn't know what to say so she kept quiet, letting Faith roll onto her side so they were facing each other. Buffy instantly felt like she should halt whatever Faith had planned next because she was clearly far too exhausted, but she didn't, of course she didn't. Her body was willing to take whatever it could get. Her body sung out for relief at Faith's hands.

Clumsily, Faith ran a hand over Buffy's side until it grabbed her ass and squeezed, lips burning into Buffy's skin at her collarbone. This was going to be awkward, Buffy could just tell.

"Faith, wait," she said. "You're not exactly. . ." She was going to say awake, sober maybe, or able, but she said none of those things as Faith shifted her weight and easily pushed Buffy onto her back.

"Waited long enough," Faith drawled. "I want you."

Instantly, Buffy's body reacted and she sighed as Faith moved between her legs. She was hardly holding herself up but the weight was no problem for Buffy and she accepted it readily as Faith fumbled between them. She seemed to be concentrating hard, trying to do something as she wriggled on top of Buffy.

Her skirt, Buffy realised. Faith was trying to get it off.

Without speaking, still afraid to break this spell, afraid to acknowledge Faith's less than sober actions, Buffy ran her hands down Faith's back. She was momentarily distracted as her palms felt muscles twitching under them, the smooth expanse of Faith's back making her wet her lips; she wanted to lick her way up the entire length of it. But that wasn't possible right now. This obviously wasn't the time for luxurious exploration.

Faith mumbled something and growled as she yanked at her skirt.

"Let me," Buffy offered, hoping the desperation in her voice wasn't too noticeable.

Their limbs tangled and for a second it looked like things could descend into a farce, but eventually, with heated breaths between them they both managed to rid Faith of her skirt, leaving her completely naked now on top of Buffy. A little more wriggling and Faith tugged Buffy's panties down, her coordination failing as she almost toppled from the bed. Buffy's hands at her waist pulled her to safety and back between her legs.

As their bodies came together, all heat, skin and soft, wet places they both moaned and pressed close. Faith's face disappeared into Buffy's neck, lips brushing over her and sucking as they practically clung to each other in the faint light. Buffy wanted to see Faith's eyes, but they were too close and Faith too busy kissing her throat as she began to move slowly against Buffy.

The movement quickly aroused Buffy back to a hundred percent ready and she ran her fingernails down Faith's back – she was quickly beginning to really, really like Faith's unbelievably sexy back.

"Buffy," Faith sighed into her neck as she reacted to the touch, causing Buffy to shiver.

She wasn't sure what she should do, so she just enjoyed the sensation of Faith all over her and basked in the heat they were creating. It almost seemed like Faith was fighting sleep, but her body pressed a little harder against Buffy's every time she moved her hips, and it felt amazing.

Buffy took a chance and rolled her hips up into Faith to maximize sensation and both of their breaths caught; wet heat mingled where they pressed intimately together. Buffy could feel Faith's pussy spreading over her own and she almost wanted to cry with how good it felt. They were so close, fused together as their breaths began to quicken and Faith's lips travelled up towards Buffy's mouth.

Heated kissing impassioned their embrace and their bodies found a rhythm that had them both panting and holding tight. This wasn't how Buffy thought Faith would take her, not at all, it seemed far too intimate. Far too telling.

Whatever Faith's reasoning, Buffy liked this. She liked feeling overwhelmed by Faith's weight. Liked the press of Faith's breasts against her own; nipples hard, sending jolts of pleasure through her when Faith lifted herself up enough to have their nipples scraping across each other. The way Faith's stomach slid against hers, the way her hips fit between her own seemed almost perfect. They seemed made for this and Buffy's heart wouldn't stop pounding against Faith's as they enjoyed each other's bodies.

"Oh god," Buffy gasped as Faith thrust harder against her; so wet against each other, their clits connecting with every roll of their hips. "Oh, you feel. . .this is. . ."

Faith's mouth on Buffy's obstructed her words but she didn't care as they kissed clumsily, hungrily. They weren't just moving now they were fucking and Buffy wrapped her legs around Faith in wanton need. She was immersed completely in Faith; the body between her legs, the dark hair tickling over her face as Faith lifted herself to rest her weight on her hands so she could put more behind every thrust.

The wet slide of their skin, of their pussies, tainted the air with the unmistakable scent and sound of sex. The moans they shared grew louder and the moment of release was fast approaching, for both of them.

"Fuck, Buffy," Faith panted. "So good."

Buffy took a chance and looked up at Faith as Faith hovered above her. Their gazes caught and the connection was instant, almost frightening, making them both take shuddering breaths. For a moment, for a slice in time between them, they stilled their bodies almost to a stop and just looked.

"There's so many things I've wanted to say to you," Faith said, a vulnerable quiver to her voice that Buffy had never heard before.

Eyes still locked on one another, Buffy lifted a hand to Faith's face, touching gently and swallowing hard as a tear dripped onto her cheek from above.

"Faith, I. . .I'm sorry," Buffy told her softly; she wasn't certain what she was saying she was sorry for. Maybe everything. Everything that had ever gone wrong between them. Everything she'd been doing to keep them apart.

Her thumb brushed over Faith's cheek, feeling the tears and wishing they'd never done such bad things to each other to cause them.

"No," Faith said, breaking the moment of sudden calm. "No, don't be sorry."

She kissed Buffy, a deep, sensual, heartbreaking kiss that made Buffy's chest burn and ache.

Those full lips were soon whispering over Buffy's jaw, towards her ear, as Faith moved against her once again. The rhythm quickly picked up and Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith and brought her closer to feel every inch of her body against her own. She could feel Faith's tears on her skin and it wrenched at her, but she couldn't stop this. She didn't want to stop this; it almost felt more like they were making love than just having sex.

It felt like Faith was making love to her.

"Don't let go," Faith mumbled close to Buffy's ear. "Don't let go."

"I won't," Buffy replied, unsure whether they were both sobbing or just shuddering from the oncoming orgasm they were about to share.

Panting and moaning almost drowned out the creaking of the bed as Faith increased the pace, and the mix of sounds made it hard to hear as Faith began to mumble more into Buffy's neck. The odd word filtered through Buffy's haze of desire, of bliss. The odd word.

The ones that stood out were the words "need" and "love", but Buffy wasn't certain how Faith had said them and before she could dwell on it longer she felt Faith stiffen in her arms.

"Fuck, Buffy," Faith gasped as she came, taking Buffy along with her.

"Oh god, oh god," Buffy panted, holding on so tight she could feel her fingernails tearing into Faith's back.

A warm, wetness spread over her pussy from Faith's and she felt her muscles tighten further, her body clenching and pussy convulsing as she came hard with the girl in her arms.

This wasn't just fucking, just sex. This could never be just sex.

"Don't let go," Faith mumbled again as her whole body shivered against Buffy.

With a soothing hand through Faith's hair, Buffy kissed her temple, her eyebrow, the side of her face, everywhere she could reach as the heat cooled, leaving their skin sticky and exposed. Maybe she should have said something, asked Faith if she was ok, but she could feel Faith once again already slipping into dreamland as she relaxed and let her weight rest on Buffy at the final tremor.

Words could, and probably would come tomorrow, when the passion gave way to the inevitable. For now, Buffy would do what Faith had asked. She wouldn't let go.

Letting Faith find the solace of sleep, Buffy shifted just enough to hook her foot into the sheets and slid them up over both of them. A murmur escaped Faith but she didn't move or wake so Buffy arranged them so some of Faith's weight was taken by the mattress, happy to keep her close. To keep them tangled together.

Her own eyelids were heavy, but Buffy kept herself aware just long enough to feel – for once – complete. Faith was in her arms, in her body, in her heart, and with every tender kiss she placed on Faith's sleeping face. . .she wished for the coming day not to spoil this.

She wished for it all to be ok.

TBC…


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: **So sorry for the long delay with this. I was honestly thinking I just couldn't keep writing it. I now know that writing longer fics is just boring to me...lol But, having said that, I am determined to finish this one so I'll update as often as I can over the next few weeks to get it completed. Hopefully there are still a few people reading that will appreciate that :D Thanks so much, guys.

Chapter Twenty Three

Buffy stood staring at the piece of paper in her hand, her heart aching in her chest, her jaw clenched and eyes trying to burn through the words she'd just read. Three times she'd read them now and still she couldn't quite believe how stupid she'd been. Buffy knew she should have guessed this would happen; that Faith would let her down again. That they could never have what Buffy had secretly longed for.

She'd woken up alone, tangled in only her sheets rather than Faith. Her hand had swept over the cold space beside her and she'd sighed, feeling a pang of regret already. Faith's clothes were gone; well most of them were. Her panties lay discarded on Buffy's dresser with a hastily scribbled note on top of them.

Reading it again, Buffy sighed. It read: Thanks for the fuck, it was great.

"I can't fucking believe it," Buffy murmured to herself, though of course. . .she _could_ believe it, had been expecting it really.

Faith's named scrawled at the bottom made Buffy seethe and she crumpled up the paper, throwing it into her trash can without a second glance. As Buffy had laid there in Faith's arms thinking they'd just shared something special, obviously Faith had been thinking her own thoughts. For Faith it had just been about the sex; about conquering and discarding. It had meant nothing to Faith.

Rubbing at her brow, Buffy glanced at her messy sheets and felt anger bubbling up inside her. She was angry at Faith, but mainly she was angry at herself for being so foolish and for giving in so easily. Ripping the sheets from her bed Buffy pushed them into a pile in the corner of her room. She'd wash them later; maybe twice just to be sure that there was no trace of Faith's scent left on them. No memory of what they'd done.

Buffy knew right then and there that she could never trust Faith; certainly not with her heart. It had been a dumb fantasy to believe even for a second that it was possible for them to connect, to open up and find themselves striving for the same thing. Faith had ruined any hope of that too many times, and last night was the last straw.

Hurt and mad, Buffy quickly showered, scrubbing hard at her skin everywhere that Faith had touched or been pressed intimately against. Once done she grabbed her phone, calling Giles. Not bothering to mask the anger in her voice she told him to keep a close eye on Faith. Buffy wasn't planning to take Faith's crap any longer, nor trust her with her friends and her watcher, especially now that Darla was hanging around her.

He seemed worried at first, about Buffy, but he told her not to fret. He also told her that Faith had called him not long before to inform him that she would be out of town for the weekend. Buffy narrowed her eyes and instantly felt the sensation that something bad was about to happen, but Giles tried to convince her not to dwell on it and that Faith really was trying to do better, to atone. Buffy wasn't buying it now and she wondered just where Faith would be that weekend, and who with.

She asked Giles if he knew but he didn't. There were lots more questions Buffy wanted to pose but instead of wasting her time going in circles with Giles she decided right then and there that it was high time that Tru came further into her life. She would ask her to come to Sunnydale – though Buffy wasn't planning on letting Giles or her mother know about her just yet. Still, she could meet Willow and Xander at least, and see how and where she lived. It would be good for them, and would hopefully ensure that Buffy didn't waste her weekend worrying about Faith and what she was up to.

With her mind made up, Buffy got dressed and put fresh sheets on her bed, throwing the soiled ones into a bag to take to the laundry. For a moment she found herself feeling wobbly as the scent of sex, of Faith, wafted over her. It brought about mixed emotions. She felt the rush of renewed desire, longing and need, but that soon dissipated as anger and remorse took hold.

Tidying her room, she made sure all traces of Faith were out of sight; stuffing the note she'd hastily retrieved from the garbage and Faith's panties into her bedside drawer, placing them under the picture of Faith she wished she could tear up. There was a voice in the back of her mind telling her to throw all those items away but she ignored it, not dwelling on the reason why she ignored it. It was probably best not to question her inability to fully just let go of Faith – she'd do it eventually, she was sure.

Before long she was calling Tru and inviting her to Sunnydale, smiling wide as she allowed Tru's voice and her promise to be there as soon as she could soothe her. With Faith gone for the next two days it was the perfect opportunity to be closer to Tru, in more ways than one. She knew that keeping Tru from her home, from Sunnydale, and from her friends would only cause Tru to grow weary of the distance between them, and perhaps suspicious of the reason she wouldn't invite her. Now she would be able to put Tru at ease as well as allow the time spent in her company to eradicate thoughts of Faith, and thoughts of what they'd done together.

She planned on showing Tru just how much she wanted her in her life, and in her bed. She wouldn't allow Faith to spoil this.

Hours later - as the night began to creep towards morning - Buffy trailed her fingers over Tru's stomach as she lay sprawled out on her bed. They'd stumbled into the small dorm room kissing and touching, desperate for each other, after dropping Willow and Xander off at their homes. The night had been a success; both Willow and Xander seemed to love Tru. They'd laughed at her jokes, listened to her stories – though Tru's stories were less salacious and surprising than Faith's always were – and genuinely enjoyed her company. Buffy had been nervous about them meeting her but things couldn't have gone better.

It had been a good idea to have her come there, and as Buffy felt the slight sheen of sweat drying on her own skin as Tru tried to catch her breath beside her, she couldn't help but feel contented. They'd spent hours touching each other, pleasuring each other, learning about each other. Buffy had finally tasted Tru, using her mouth on her more than once as Tru had grabbed at her shoulders, nails scratching as Buffy had brought her to orgasm over and over. She'd been unable to get enough, but when Tru had practically begged her to stop so she could catch her breath Buffy had relented, crawling up beside Tru and just gazing at her.

Her fingernails softly scratched at Tru's belly as she watched her with hooded eyes. They were both spent now, happy to let their skin cool and the ardour between them dissipate. Buffy felt comfort with Tru's arm wrapped around her back, Tru's scent on her own skin, on her sheets. She knew she could fall easily for this girl and probably already was.

Her heart longed to let go for her and Buffy allowed it to, slipping, stepping into territory that would complicate things further. She didn't care. Buffy had just had sex with Tru with more than just her body; her mind had been all Tru's. For the first time Buffy hadn't thought once about Faith.

She smiled, placing a tender kiss on Tru's temple as she pulled the sheet over them and snuggled into her side, feeling Tru's arm tighten around her. It wasn't long before she felt sleep tugging at her and her body sighed in contentment as Tru turned into her and pulled her even closer, her lips whispering over Buffy's mouth. There was a moment in which it seemed as if Tru wanted to say something, but she didn't. She stayed quietly pressed against Buffy as they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

This was how relationships were meant to be, not like with Faith. Not all anger and contempt, passion and fury. This was what Buffy needed. Faith was. . .Faith was too dangerous.

By lunchtime the next day Buffy was sure she'd shown Tru everywhere important in Sunnydale. It hadn't taken long.

There had been an awkward moment in which Tru had inquired about Buffy's mom, but Buffy had been able to change the subject before any harm could be done. She wanted Tru to meet her mother, she really did, but there would be so much confusion for Joyce, and not only about the fact that Tru was very clearly a girl. That would have to wait, for more time than even Buffy knew. She wasn't ready for that.

"So, this is where you have coffee everyday," Tru said, looking around the small diner with a smile.

"Well, not every day," Buffy corrected, "Though if it were up to Willow we'd be in here every hour."

They both chuckled and Buffy couldn't help but fall a little more for Tru, so happy that she could talk about her friends with her now so openly. That Tru had met her friends and liked them. It almost felt as if Tru filled a space in Buffy's life that she hadn't even known needed filling. They were completely at ease with each other, as they had been the night before, and it made Buffy happier than she could remember.

Eventually she'd have to explain things to her mother, and to Giles. She'd have to try to clarify why she wanted to be with Faith's twin sister when she couldn't stand being around Faith. And why it just felt right, even though it was strange and odd and beyond what most people would call proper. Buffy didn't care that things would get more awkward before they settled down, not really, as once things did settle she knew she'd be able to give her heart to the girl sat opposite her without restraint.

Things could only get better.

"Just gotta use the bathroom," Buffy said as she swallowed the last of her muffin.

For a second she almost leaned forward and kissed Tru before leaving the table, but she stopped herself, feeling both silly and smart for deciding against such a public display of affection with her girlfriend.

"Don't be long," Tru warned playfully, her full lips curving into a smile that just about had Buffy changing her mind so she could kiss it. "If I'm sitting here for more than two minutes alone I might end up with more muffins than I can eat."

Buffy thought it would be adorable to come back to Tru trying to secretly munch away more muffins before being caught; it stole most of her self-control and she quickly placed a kiss on Tru's cheek before scurrying off to the bathroom.

When she emerged back into the diner after going to the toilet, Buffy stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart jumped in her chest and her breath caught in her throat. Lounging in the chair she'd vacated only minutes before was Faith. She was smiling, though the smile wasn't reaching her eyes, and she was sitting opposite Tru.

"Oh god," Buffy muttered, feeling light headed.

Tru's eyes were wide and her skin paler than normal. She looked on the verge of speaking, mouth open and jaw slack, but then Faith swept her gaze over to Buffy and Tru followed suit, staring at Buffy with complete confusion.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," Buffy repeated to herself, wondering if fleeing the scene would be the best idea.

"Your girlfriend's back," Faith said sardonically, letting the few other patrons of the diner hear. Buffy didn't care if they heard at that moment; all she cared about was the utterly baffled and hurt appearance on Tru's face. "Guess you've got some talking to do."

Without another word Faith got up from the seat, her eyes connecting with Buffy for a tense moment before she turned and left. Buffy wasn't sure what she'd seen in Faith's eyes, but it hadn't all been cruelty. She was almost certain there had been a hint of an apology there, though why Faith would feel sorry for doing this she didn't know.

When Buffy reached the table, standing beside it with her arms hanging by her sides, her skin almost as pale as Tru's, she didn't know what to say. How could she possibly explain this? Explain Faith?

"She said she's my sister," Tru said, shaking Buffy from her momentary daze.

Tru's voice was tight, a slight tremble making Buffy's insides crumble. Buffy didn't speak, just stood staring as she tried to find excuses that wouldn't sound pathetic.

"My twin sister," Tru went on. "Tell me you didn't know about this. Tell me she's lying. Tell me that's not the Faith you were in love with."

Buffy could see tears forming in Tru's eyes and she desperately wanted to stop them from falling. Wished she had the words and could tell her that she hadn't known, and that Faith hadn't been the girl she'd told her about. Nothing came out of her mouth and she watched as Tru pushed her chair back and stood, giving Buffy a look that clearly showed her disappointment and disbelief before she too left the diner.

It was all Buffy could do to force her limbs to obey so she could follow, still no idea of how to put things right. She knew she didn't want to lose Tru, however. Or hurt her.

"Wait," Buffy said as she finally caught up with Tru someway down the road already.

There was no sign of Faith anywhere and Buffy was at least grateful for that.

Tru spun around, her eyes harder than Buffy had ever seen them, reminding her more of Faith than she cared for.

"Why?" Tru asked, ignoring the people passing by who looked at them oddly. "So you can just lie to me? Make me look even more like an idiot?"

"No," Buffy replied feebly. "Let me try to explain."

With her brown eyes full of a pain Buffy hated herself for placing there, Tru shook her head no.

"I don't think I can listen to it right now," she said, tears finally beginning to fall. "She said she's your friend. She knew about us but I didn't know about her, Buffy. Do you have any idea how confused I am right now?"

Buffy looked down at the ground between them, unable to say anything that wouldn't seem completely lame. Shaking her head, Buffy felt her own tears sliding slowly down her cheeks as she tried desperately to think of a way to make this better.

"I don't want to lose you," Buffy said, a small sob breaking from her throat as she stepped closer to Tru. "I just. . .I didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to. . ."

"You didn't try," Tru pointed out.

For a moment there was only silence as Buffy swiped at her tears and Tru allowed her own to fall. Of all the ways Buffy had envisioned this moment, she hadn't imagined just how much it would hurt to see Tru so upset. To see the distrust in her normally sympathetic eyes.

"I thought we had something," Tru said, breaking the endless, soundless pause. "I thought you _felt_ something."

"I did," Buffy quickly blurted, her voice shriller than she'd expected, making her glance around, feeling embarrassed. "I _do_."

It was true, she did feel something for Tru, and it wasn't just because of Faith, or in spite of her. Tru was the perfect girlfriend. Maybe too perfect.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Buffy asked, feeling stupid for standing in the middle of the street crying. "Back at my room?"

Tru looked away, wiping at her nose as she steadied her breathing.

"Ok," she replied, her voice just a whisper.

She didn't look into Buffy's eyes the entire way back to the dorm, silence surrounding them again as they both battled with their own thoughts. Buffy wanted to hurt herself, to throw herself on the floor in front of Tru for forgiveness. She knew she'd just ruined something that could have been wonderful. Knew it had been just waiting to happen once she'd taken the decision not to tell Tru about Faith from the start.

When they walked solemnly into Buffy's room the air felt too warm and Buffy could still detect the slight scent of what they'd spent all night doing together, and some of that morning. She moved to the window and pushed it wide, letting the light breeze sigh across her face before she turned back to Tru.

"I really am sorry," Buffy all but whispered as she watched Tru move around the room as if in a daze.

Tru picked up a book from Buffy's desk, gazing at the cover yet not really even seeing it; she was clearly stunned and trying to understand what had just happened. Placing it back down, Tru finally looked at Buffy, her eyes sad and shimmering with the threat of more tears.

"Who is she?" Tru asked, a tremble making her usually distinctive voice sound weak, unused. "Is she really my twin?"

"Yes," Buffy answered, lowering her head, wondering how to explain. Where to begin? "Did she tell you anything else?"

With a sigh Tru sat heavily on Buffy's chair, her furrowed brow making her seem tired.

"Not really," Tru replied. "Something about you and her going 'way back' and that she hopes we'll be happy. It was all kind of strange. I don't know what to think."

Buffy took a seat on her bed, idly fluffing the pillow before she decided that maybe it was time to tell all. She couldn't very well explain this away or pretend that it was all in Tru's head, or something equally as appealing.

"Faith and I were. . .friends," Buffy began. "Initially anyway."

Looking into Buffy's eyes, Tru only seemed to appear more confused.

"Just friends?" she asked.

"Not even that really," Buffy clarified, finding it almost impossible to label just what she really had been to Faith, with Faith. "Our 'friendship' got a little intense, and then it kind of imploded. There was badness. Lots of badness."

Shaking her head in bewilderment, Tru implored Buffy to continue with just a look.

"We fell out," Buffy said with a shrug. "It got messy and then she spent time in jail."

"Jail?" Tru questioned, her eyebrows raised.

Buffy nodded. "Faith has never exactly played by the rules," she replied. "You should probably ask _her_ about that, though."

The last thing Buffy wanted to do was get into everything that had happened and the reason Faith had gone to jail. She couldn't tell Tru about the slaying or vampires, or anything that might seem completely mental; this really wasn't the time.

"Go on," Tru said, her voice harder than Buffy had ever heard it.

"Well, she came back," Buffy explained. "She came back to Sunnydale and has been making my life a misery ever since."

Buffy yanked at a stray thread emerging from her sweater and pulled, feeling the anger of the last few weeks bubble up as she really came to understand just how much Faith's return had affected her. If only Faith had stayed where she was, or had gone somewhere else when she'd been released. It would have been better for them all.

"And when you met me you didn't think to tell me about her, or ask if I even knew I had a twin sister?" Tru pressed.

"It was. . .complicated," Buffy said lamely. "And then you were so nice, and I liked being around you, and. . ."

"And you lied to me," Tru interrupted. "Did you think I'd never find out? Did you think you could just use me?"

"Use you?" Buffy asked, getting up from the bed and moving a little closer to Tru. "I wasn't using you I. . ."

"Buffy, don't keep treating me like a fool, you've done it enough," Tru retorted angrily. "You were in love with _her_. You want to be with _her_."

"I. . .that's. . ." Buffy stuttered, hoping she didn't look as impossibly lost as she suddenly felt. "I know this is really messed up and you must hate me right now, but I didn't mean to hurt you. And I'm in love with _you_, not her."

For a moment Buffy couldn't quite believe what had just come out of her mouth, and it seemed Tru was having a similar reaction. They both stared at each other, eyes wide and questioning.

"You choose now to say that?" Tru asked, rubbing at her brow in frustration.

"I'm sorry, you're right, I shouldn't have said that. Not like this," Buffy replied with a sigh. "But I do feel it."

Buffy wasn't lying. She knew right then that she had fallen in love with Tru, at least somewhat. It wasn't a lie, even though her feelings for Faith were still all over the place. One thing she knew for sure was that she wanted this to work with Tru.

"I don't know what to think, Buffy," Tru said sullenly. "I obviously don't know you as much as I thought I did. I don't know what I should do about Faith. Should I talk to her? Am I supposed to just carry on with my life knowing she's out there? And you. Can I even trust you now?"

Though Buffy wanted to tell Tru that she could trust her, it would only have sounded foolish, forced. She wished she had the answers, but even though she'd been waiting for this day to happen – for it all to blow up in her face – she didn't have any.

"I don't know if Faith wants to know you," Buffy told her sadly. "She's only known you existed for a while, and she. . .well, she's difficult sometimes."

"Difficult or not I think I need to talk to her."

Buffy hated to think what kind of things Faith could say to Tru if they did actually sit down and talk properly; there was too much that Buffy didn't think Tru should hear, and it would really be the nail in the coffin if Faith decided to tell Tru about their night together.

Feeling the weight of her lies and her cheating pressing down on her, Buffy sat back down heavily on the bed, holding her head in her hands.

"I'll get you her cell number," she said, the words partially muffled.

There was no escaping the mess she'd made.

With Tru watching her every move with an unwavering disappointed expression, Buffy pulled out her cell phone and found Faith's number. She handed the phone to Tru and held in the urge to plead with her not to make the call, but she did call, and not even two minutes later she was hanging up and looking even more disappointed.

Faith didn't want to talk to Tru and turned down the offer to meet. Tru seemed genuinely upset that Faith was so unwilling to find out more about each other, but Buffy didn't know what to say. She was relieved but couldn't exactly show that she was, so Buffy told Tru to try again in a few days. Faith liked to do things her own way after all.

"She said she was busy with somebody called Darla," Tru said as she took Faith's number then handed Buffy's phone back to her. "Too busy to talk."

Buffy blanched a little at hearing Darla's name, trying her best not to wonder what Faith could possibly be doing with her. Faith was a lost cause and she knew she had to stop caring, stop thinking about her. There could never be anything between them that went beyond the night they'd had together and Buffy tucked her away in her mind, promising herself she wouldn't ever allow Faith to manipulate her again.

"Give her a day or two, she might talk to you then," Buffy suggested, hoping Faith actually wouldn't change her mind. Hoping Faith would never speak to either her or Tru again, ever.

"Maybe," Tru responded quietly. "This is all so strange. She looked so much like me."

Buffy looked away guiltily; she knew fine and well just how similar they looked.

"I wish I'd told you," she said, meaning it. "It was really, really stupid of me not to."

"It was," Tru agreed, though her eyes were a little softer now as they gazed at Buffy. "And what you said before about. . ."

"I meant it," Buffy interrupted. "I've fallen for you; and I know that's probably not what you want to hear right now, and you have every reason to want to break up with me but. . ."

"Buffy," Tru began, getting up from the chair and walking the short distance to the bed so she could sit beside Buffy, "I can't say that I understand why you didn't tell me about Faith, but I feel the same about you."

She picked up Buffy's hand, holding it gently as she looked into her eyes.

"I think I need some time, though. To work this out," she continued. "So I'm gonna head back home."

Lowering her gaze to the space between them, Buffy nodded slightly, enjoying the soft caress of Tru's thumb over the back of her hand for as long as she could.

"I don't blame you," she said, understanding.

When she looked back up at Tru she wished she could hold that moment and keep it forever. She saw the blossoming of love in Tru's eyes and wanted that love, that hope, to wrap its arms around her and keep her safe from herself, but it was just a moment. Just a few seconds as they lingered, lips wanting to touch, hands wanting to hold despite what had just been driven between them.

The moment didn't last long and Tru stood, taking a deep breath as she scanned the room for her bag and then began placing the few items back into it that she'd left lying around. Buffy instantly felt tears swelling in her eyes and excused herself so she could attempt to pull herself together in the bathroom before saying goodbye. Wiping at her eyes she looked in the mirror, cursing herself, disgusted with how she'd been behaving. She could only hope that she could fix this with Tru.

Once she was back in the room and Tru was ready to go, Buffy promised herself that this wouldn't be the end. No matter how. . .she was going to make this right.

Tru appeared distant again, shaken. Her hands were gripping her bag tightly and there were tears in her eyes again. Buffy hated that this had happened but she knew she only had herself to blame.

"Keep in touch?" she asked as they walked slowly towards the parking lot, Tru remaining quiet beside her.

"I will," Tru assured after a pause as they stopped by her car and she shoved her bag onto the back seat. "I'll call in a few days."

"Ok," Buffy responded forlornly, grasping her fingers in front of herself. She'd give Tru her time to think before even attempting another charm offensive. It was only fair.

Before Tru slid into the passenger seat she looked long and hard at Buffy, studying her it seemed, a gentle hand coming up to touch Buffy's cheek.

"No more lies, ok?" Tru asked.

Buffy nodded, unable to speak as she felt weeks of emotional baggage - of guilt, of Faith breaking her down, of falling in love – pushing on her.

There was a brief pause before Tru leaned forward and brushed her lips over Buffy's, lingering only momentarily. Buffy wanted more, needed more, but she didn't try for it when Tru stepped back.

As Tru's car left the parking lot Buffy watched it go, tasting the hint of Tru on her lips. It tasted like regret.

TBC…


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

A week had gone by and Buffy had only just heard from Tru an hour ago, speaking with her over the phone. Their conversation had been difficult, awkward. Tru had asked Buffy several times if she was keeping anything more from her, if there was anything she wanted to share or get out in the open. Buffy had insisted there was nothing more, no more skeletons in her closet. It wasn't quite true of course, there was plenty she could tell her, but for now it was best not to rock the boat any more than it had already been rocked.

One day she'd tell Tru everything, but they weren't quite at that place yet. She couldn't tell her about slaying, about vampires, about how she'd slept with Faith. It all had to stay locked away until Buffy was certain Tru could handle it and remain by her side. There was too much at risk otherwise.

They'd made plans for Buffy to travel up to LA to see Tru, but Buffy wasn't sure if it would require an overnight bag. She'd go tomorrow, leaving early so she could spend as much time with Tru attempting to convince her that they could remain together despite what had happened.

Buffy hadn't heard from nor seen Faith the last few days so she had been focusing on Tru, and on the hope that they would be able to move on. When Xander and Willow had heard Buffy's tale of the weekend they'd been sympathetic and kind, and irritated at Faith, though Willow had pointed out that it was all bound to happen. Her little "told you so" sigh made Buffy want to push her over in the biggest way since they'd met. It wasn't that Buffy didn't agree, she just didn't like knowing it was all her own fault.

Things could have been worse of course, Buffy tried to convince herself. She could still keep Tru if she did her best not to screw up anymore, and she now knew for certain she could not be in the same place as Faith without something bad happening. She just had to be on her best behaviour, and switch her stupid brain off when it started trying to trip her up.

When she finally felt a little more grounded and was on her way up to LA – with an overnight bag just in case – Buffy felt sure things would be ok with Tru now that the big secret of her twin sister Faith was out of the way. Or at least partially out of the way; they still hadn't really talked about it and Buffy didn't know if Tru had had contact with Faith over the past week. Not knowing was gnawing at her a little but she tried not to dwell. There was nothing more she could do in that respect.

As she stepped off the bus and glanced around for Tru, Buffy crossed her fingers subconsciously. If Tru didn't show then that would be one hell of a smack in the face that she deserved. But over by her gleaming car stood Tru, sunglasses perched on top of her head and her arms folded over her more than ample chest. Buffy smiled, then tried to hide it before walking towards her; she didn't want to push her luck.

"Hey," Buffy said softly, seeing a hint of wariness in Tru's eyes that she had never seen before.

"Hi," Tru responded, stepping forward and placing an awkward kiss on Buffy's cheek.

She glanced at Buffy's bag but didn't say anything and Buffy suddenly felt completely stupid for presuming she might be able to stay with Tru for the night. Things had obviously changed and she hated that they had.

Once they were driving to Tru's apartment the awkwardness continued and Buffy squirmed in her seat. They were hardly speaking and Tru was guarded in a way that surprised Buffy; she'd thought that Tru was nothing like Faith, but here she was. . .just as defensive as Faith could ever be.

"Looks like it'll be a nice day," Buffy remarked as she turned her face into the warm breeze coming through her window.

Tru nodded and made a sound of agreement but didn't speak. So, even talking about the weather wasn't going to help. Buffy sighed to herself and pushed her own sunglasses onto her nose, just as Tru had done when she got into the car. This day was going to drag and Buffy had very few ideas on how to make it better; Buffy had never really had to do the chasing before in a relationship.

It wasn't until shortly after lunchtime that the atmosphere between them began to ease, ever so slightly. Buffy had done her best to be super nice and super attentive, making Tru chuckle a few times and eventually getting to the place where they could walk closer and touch without one of them stiffening up. Buffy only had to keep things on track, and avoid talking about anything uncomfortable.

They hadn't mentioned Faith, which was probably a bit weird but Buffy wasn't complaining. It was better not to think about the other slayer, and better still not to bring up her name.

Lunch had been a quiet affair, but as they approached dinner time - having spent most of the day flitting in and out of all kinds of exotic shops and markets – Buffy vowed to do her best to get Tru to drop some of her defences. They chose a small restaurant to dine in, sitting at a table far enough to the back that Buffy felt confident enough to reach cross the tabletop and brush her fingers over Tru's. Tru didn't pull away, but her eyes watched Buffy with caution.

There were only a few other diners in the restaurant and the dim lighting and soft music felt oddly out of place for their circumstances, but Buffy did her best to filter out anything but the two of them.

"I missed you this week," Buffy admitted for the first time that day.

Tru nodded and glanced away before returning her gaze back to Buffy. It seemed as if she was fighting something. Fighting what she felt for Buffy, which saddened Buffy more than she could explain. Still, her fingers entwined with Buffy's and they both smiled softly, a handful of heartbeats passing before their waiter interrupted them.

They ordered their meals and ate in a silence that overwhelmed. Buffy, unable to take anymore, shook her head and placed her fork down on the table, forgetting about her pasta for the moment. She flitted her gaze towards the other tables, watching as couples smiled and chatted, hands secretly searching each other out under tablecloths as candles flickered and danced. They all looked so happy. So at peace. Buffy had thought she'd had that with Tru, but it was temporarily on hold it seemed, and she wasn't just going to allow that to continue.

"I'd like to stay with you tonight," Buffy admitted, bringing up the subject they'd both avoided. Her gaze moved back to Tru and she felt a little more confident as brown eyes softened for her. "I'd like to show you how sorry I am."

There was a pause and Buffy wondered if she should have just kept her mouth shut, but then Tru nodded once again.

"Ok," she responded with a wistful smile. "That would be nice."

Buffy felt a weight lift from her shoulders. It would indeed be nice, and hopefully a step on the path to recovering what they had.

Now that that was out of the way Buffy had been able to talk more freely with Tru, and she delighted in the fact that Tru became more responsive. The one word answers gave way to whole sentences, and as they sipped on their wine it became easier to laugh, to relax.

By the time they left the restaurant, Tru had her arm looped through Buffy's and they stayed close to one another, like lovers should be on their way home together. It made Buffy really smile with happiness for the first time that day, and Tru gave her arm a squeeze. Maybe they really were going to get through this. It would probably only make them stronger and at least now Buffy didn't have to worry so much. She'd even consider introducing Tru to her mom, and Giles, soon.

Of course, things always had a way of leaping out at Buffy and knocking her sideways, and that's exactly what happened as they rounded the corner headed for Tru's apartment. Only, it was more of an It than a something. An It with horns and nasty breath.

"Oh, crap," Buffy spat as she got quickly to her feet, pushing Tru back with her arm as the demon advanced on them both.

They were on a very quiet street with few lamplights and Buffy cursed her rotten luck.

"What the hell is. . ." Tru began, but Buffy didn't hear the rest as she rushed forward, taking the large monster by the horns as he snarled at them, stamping like a bull.

It snarled louder as Buffy hurled it into the side of a building, grunting herself at his weight.

"Ok, two choices," she told It. "One: You get the hell out of here before I kill you. Two: You get the hell out of here before I. . ."

The beast charged at her and Buffy slipped sideways, giving it a boot in the backside so its momentum took it into another brick wall. Its skin was a lurid green, scaly and grotesque, and Buffy winced as one of its horns dangled dejectedly from its head as it turned around again. She quickly glanced to the side to make sure Tru was ok, wincing further as she saw the fear in her girlfriend's eyes. Buffy had to finish this quickly. The problem was she didn't have a weapon on her. That was obviously a big downside to dating somebody who didn't know about slayers and everything that went with.

Buffy had to improvise, but she was confident enough with her own strength to know she didn't always require weapons. Allowing the beast to use its own weight as more of a hindrance than a help she speedily moved as he charged again, grabbing his arm and swinging him around and into the wall once more. He howled in pain as he hit full force, his legs giving way as he crumbled to his knees.

Tru gasped but stayed well out of the way and Buffy was thankful she wasn't trying to help, or screaming, or making things far worse than they could be.

Stepping quickly towards the demon, Buffy didn't even think twice before she grabbed its head and twisted hard. There was a resounding snap and his body slumped forward with a crash, scattering some trash cans and making Tru wince and back away even further.

"Is it. . .dead?" Tru asked, a tremble in her voice.

"I hope so," Buffy replied, tapping at the beast with her toe, prepared for any eventuality. Sometimes demons didn't stay dead.

After a minute or two in which Buffy moved closer to Tru, ready to protect her, she decided he really was dead. There was no need to hang around further, though she wasn't really happy about just leaving the demon's body laying around for anybody to find. Some demons evaporated much like vampires when they died, some instantly turned into a squelchy gloop, but a few didn't decompose any quicker than humans.

"I need to drag it away from here," Buffy said quietly, as Tru eyed both her and the demon warily.

She spotted a dumpster further down the alley they were beside and decided that that would have to suffice. It didn't take long for her to deposit it within its grimy darkness and she slammed the lid shut once she'd covered him in loose bags of rubbish. It hadn't been a pleasant job and Buffy knew she now desperately needed a shower and a change of clothes.

"Sorry about that," Buffy said as she turned back to Tru who seemed strangely calm despite her ashen face. "I. . .I have no idea what that was or. . ."

Her words fell away as Tru's shoulders sagged and she gave Buffy a disappointed look. Tru turned away from her and ran a hand through her hair, the small shake of her head clearly visible even in the scant light.

Moving closer to Tru, Buffy placed a tentative hand on her shoulder, her heart dropping as Tru flinched at the touch.

"I was hoping you were going to tell me everything tonight," Tru began quietly. "But now I can see you won't even tell me when something clearly not human comes out of nowhere to prove that you've been hiding things from me. Keeping me in the dark."

She swung round to face Buffy and Buffy could clearly see the hurt in her eyes.

"I. . .I didn't mean to. . ."

"Don't, Buffy," Tru interrupted. "I already know anyway. Faith told me."

"What?" Buffy asked, her voice loud enough to echo down the alley. "Faith told you what?"

For a moment she felt her world tip upside down. Had Faith told Tru about their night together? And if so, why had Tru even bothered to spend the day with her if she knew? Buffy's head was spinning and she felt a trickle of perspiration make its way down the centre of her back, both from the earlier fight with the demon and from being put on the spot so ruthlessly.

"She told me about demons, vampires, and you," Tru answered with a sigh. She looked truly sad that she'd had to talk about this without Buffy's prompting. "She told me you're both slayers."

Buffy was reeling. She wiped a filthy hand over her face and instantly regretted it, but she was too stunned to really care. So Tru had been talking with Faith, that much was clear. God only knew what tales Faith had told her. There was the distinct possibility that Tru knew everything, and that put Buffy firmly on the back foot. Faith had information that Buffy knew could be used to hurt her, to destroy what she had with Tru. She hoped, she really hoped that Faith hadn't been that cruel.

"Faith was surprised you hadn't told me already," Tru continued when Buffy failed to get her mouth to work as she stood gaping. "I'm surprised too. I thought you wanted this to work."

"I do," Buffy sighed. "I really do."

But as she said the words she could hear the hesitation in her own voice.

"Buffy, you were going to stand there and deny that you knew that thing. . ." Tru pointed to the dumpster, "was a demon. You were going to lie to me. Again."

Lowering her gaze and taking a breath, Buffy tried to think of a way to prove that Tru was wrong, but she knew whatever she said would sound lame and desperate. She tried to find excuses anyway.

"I just didn't want to freak you out," Buffy said. "I didn't want you to be exposed to. . ."

"But this was bound to happen at some point," Tru pointed out. "You couldn't have kept it a secret forever. Or could you?"

Tru seemed genuinely concerned that Buffy really could have hidden such a thing indefinitely, rendering any trust between them a fallacy.

"No," Buffy countered, "I would have told you."

She was sure that she would have, just. . .not yet. Not when everything else was so out of sorts. Not when Faith was still lingering in her head, and her heart.

"I don't know," Tru said with a shake of her head. "I don't know what to believe right now."

Tru turned away again and began walking back to the street, her hands shoved deep into her pockets. Buffy followed, her mind racing with ways to fix this ridiculous situation, but she was at a loss.

When they reached the street they continued walking to Tru's apartment in silence. Every time Buffy was about to say something, she changed her mind, sure that whatever she said would only dig her hole deeper. Every thought she had just sounded like an excuse, and it was. Buffy wasn't stupid enough to think she'd be able to convince Tru otherwise right now.

As they entered Tru's apartment, Buffy stood awkwardly, watching as Tru turned on lamps and moved to the kitchen area to grab a bottle of wine from the fridge. She poured them both a big glass and came back to sit on the sofa. The silence was killing Buffy but there was no escaping it so she took her glass and swallowed down a large mouthful, sitting by Tru but not too close.

"Tell me everything you need to tell me, Buffy," Tru finally said, taking a large gulp of her own drink.

Letting out a whoosh of air and closing her eyes, Buffy wondered just what constituted as everything. She didn't know what Faith had already said to her, what secrets she'd spilled on Buffy's behalf. Guessing it was probably best to start with what little she did know about what Faith had told her, Buffy began to try and explain being a slayer and all that came with it.

After refilling Buffy's glass when she'd slurped down the dregs from the bottom, Tru nodded, seemingly happy with the amount Buffy had divulged so far. Buffy had told her all she could about her life as a slayer, and also done her best to convince Tru that she wasn't planning on keeping it a secret forever.

"I don't like secrets," Tru informed Buffy bluntly, placing her glass back down on the low table in front of them. "But you seem to have a lot of them."

"But I just told you. . ."

"You've told me what Faith already did, and I don't think we'd be sitting here talking about it now if she hadn't," Tru accused, making Buffy feel very uncomfortable and guilty.

"Then why did you ask me to come here?" Buffy questioned, setting her own glass down next to Tru's.

"I wanted to see if you'd tell me on your own. . .about everything."

"Everything?" Buffy asked cautiously, her heart beginning to thump in her chest.

Tru looked away, her eyes fixed to a point on the wall as she seemed to deflate.

"You'd left your bedside drawer open," Tru said cryptically, not yet turning back to look into Buffy's eyes. "When I was in your room."

Buffy blinked a few times, wondering what that had to do with anything. Then it hit her; there were things in that drawer that she hoped Tru would never see. Her heart was hammering now, beating out a panicked rhythm that threatened to cause Buffy to pass out.

"My drawer?" Buffy asked tentatively, buying a little time before it all came spilling out. "What do you mean?"

Her voice was tight and higher than normal and Buffy winced at the way it sounded to her own ears. The hole she'd been digging from the start was only getting wider and wider.

"I mean. . .I couldn't help but see what was inside," Tru said, finally glancing back at Buffy with tears in her eyes. "Which is why I've been asking if you've told me everything."

"Oh, Jesus," Buffy uttered instinctively, a hand flying up to her mouth.

Tru must have seen what Buffy had been storing in there, unable – try as she might – to throw away. Faith's picture, her panties, and the hastily scrawled note clearly indicating what they'd done together.

"Tell me it was before we got together," Tru implored, a tear escaping and rolling down her cheek.

Buffy couldn't speak and she felt her stomach begin to gurgle, ready to bring back her dinner and the wine she'd just consumed. Her heart was in her mouth and she wanted desperately to tell Tru that she hadn't cheated on her. That she'd never do that.

"I. . .I. . ." Buffy stuttered.

Tru's tears began to fall more freely and she looked down at the space between them.

"You still love her," she said with a tremble. It wasn't a question.

"No," Buffy replied, louder than she wanted, her heart thundering so much now she was beginning to worry. She shook her head and repeated, "No." But the simple word sounded completely unconvincing and she knew it.

"Buffy, stop lying to me," Tru practically shouted, her gaze lifting to Buffy's again as she burned her with the intensity of her pain.

Reaching out to touch Tru's face to wipe away the tears, Buffy quickly pulled her hand back when she realised it would be a mistake. She didn't deserve to touch this woman. She didn't deserve to have those tears fall for her.

"I'm sorry," Buffy mumbled, putting her hands over her own face and feeling them grow wet with her shame. "I didn't. . .I didn't want to care about her anymore."

A sniffle broke a momentary silence and Buffy wasn't sure if it was hers or Tru's. This was a miserable situation and she had nobody to blame but herself.

"But you do," Tru declared, almost sounding resigned to the fact.

Another sniffle, this time clearly from Tru as she shifted on the sofa, gently pulling Buffy's hands away from her face. They looked into one another's eyes, tears still welling and spilling, hearts on their sleeves as the last few months crumbled around them.

With a shaky breath, Tru appeared to sit straighter, taller as she held Buffy's hands in her own as she faced her. She seemed to be deciding something and Buffy didn't want her to. She didn't want to lose this. Gripping Tru's hands tighter, Buffy took her own steadying breath.

"We can still make this work," Buffy professed. "I don't want to be with her. I want. . ."

Tru shook her head no.

"This can't work. I can see that now," she insisted. "There's been too many secrets already. Too many lies."

"That'll change," Buffy implored. "We can start again."

Again Tru shook her head.

"You should go, Buffy. I'm sorry."

There was a tone to Tru's voice that made Buffy's heart ache painfully in her chest. She understood too well how trust worked, and a lack of it could destroy any relationship, no matter how strong you thought it was.

"I'm sorry too," Buffy muttered, feeling Tru's hands slide away from her own.

It suddenly felt like the world was crushing in on her and Buffy wanted to lash out at it, to scream, but there was no point. Her own stupid mistakes had led her here after all, and as much as she hated it. . .she did still feel for Faith. She did still find herself drawn to her in a way that confused and maddened her.

There was no doubt that she'd also been falling for Tru; she hadn't been able to help herself. But that had obviously not been enough despite how much it hurt right now to think they were over.

"Can I call you?" Buffy asked as she stood, awkwardly waiting in the hope something might change. "I mean, just to talk. As a friend?"

She was well aware of how stupid that sounded but she wanted Tru in her life.

"Maybe in a week or so," Tru answered quietly, smiling sadly up at Buffy before she too got to her feet and headed towards her phone. "I'll call a cab for you to take you to the bus station. I've drank too much to drive."

Buffy just nodded, feeling sick to her stomach at the abrupt finality of it all. This was really it. They were really breaking up.

It stung Buffy more than she'd expected it would.

Luckily the cab showed up promptly and Buffy climbed into the back seat, feeling tears stinging at her eyes as she gave Tru a small wave goodbye, hoping with everything she had that they could remain friends at least.

She hadn't meant to hurt Tru, or herself. She hadn't meant for everything to get so out of control and Buffy had no idea what the hell to do now. After clinging to the hope that Tru could fill the void inside her – pleasantly surprised that she had almost achieved it – she was now floundering once again. With her hand pressed against her chest as the cab carried her towards the bus station, Buffy let the tears tumble down her cheeks, splashing onto her tee shirt and burning her skin.

Buffy had no idea what the hell was going to happen now. Everything had changed. Her life was in disarray.

TBC…


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes:** Sorry for the delay in getting this finished. I have no excuse other than I'm just no longer really into the pairing any more. But, it is now finished - though the ending was supposed to be a lot more drawn out than this. I want to say a HUGE thank you to all that have reviewed and encouraged me to finish. You made it worth the struggle in the end :)

Chapter Twenty Five

A few weeks passed. A few weeks of utter misery and introspection that had Buffy wanting to crawl out of her own skin. She'd been keeping to herself; slaying, studying and sulking. She felt so bad for what she'd allowed to happen and she was wallowing in self pity, unable to extricate herself from the gloom she was determined to cling to. Willow and Xander had done their best to pull her out of her funk, but she'd taken to not returning their calls, and being where they were not.

The odd meeting at the Magic Box was about all the interaction she'd had with her friends, and though she knew she was being unfair, and petulant, she needed her space. The way she'd treated Tru had been awful and she felt embarrassed and ashamed. She certainly couldn't face Faith. Not after everything. Not after the night they'd shared.

Not after remembering the harsh note she'd found the day after that read "Thanks for the fuck. . ."

Her bridges there were all burned.

Buffy knew she'd made a mess of everything, now all she could hope for was to let time heal the wounds, the hurt and the shame. She would be with her friends again soon, and would probably even start talking to Faith again. They'd be different this time, without the tension, without the lust blinding them. They'd gotten it out of their systems now so surely things could only improve between them, once Buffy was able to crawl out of her funk long enough to be around her.

Tonight wasn't the night to bridge the gaps that had formed between her and the ones she loved and cared for, however. It would be soon, but not now.

Buffy had just come off the phone with Tru, having spoken to her a handful of times over the last few weeks. Things were still awkward between them, but they'd made contact again after Tru had made the first move. They hoped to be friends. Buffy knew they'd make great friends. Sure, she was still attracted to Tru and knew her heart had been close to giving itself to her, but it hadn't been right. It would never have worked when all was said and done.

They could at least chat now without the threat of tears, without struggling. It wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it was worth trying to fix a little of what Buffy had broken.

Tru had told her she'd met Faith and talked with her a few times, though she didn't elaborate. Apparently Faith wasn't keen on Tru saying too much about it to Buffy, and Buffy could understand that. Faith seemed determined to keep her distance now as much as Buffy was, and though it hurt, Buffy knew it was the right thing for both of them, even despite the emotion filled night they'd shared in Buffy's bed. That night had to be forgotten.

All the hurt had to be forgotten if any of them were to ever move on.

With a sigh Buffy slid her stake into the pocket on the inside of her jacket and pulled her boots on, readying herself for a night of slaying. She wasn't getting her hopes up for an eventful evening as things had been oddly quiet of late. The others had reported the same observation, and though Faith hadn't spoken to Buffy about it she knew through Giles that she was on edge from a lack of slaying, and from the weird feeling in the air every time she patrolled.

Buffy sensed that same strange atmosphere, letting the quiet of the night roll over her as she stalked through Sunnydale's cemeteries, doing her best to stay clear of Faith's patch. Not even Spike bothered much these days to annoy Buffy. He kept to himself, doing God knows what. She could feel him around sometimes, but he stayed in the shadows and she was happy to leave him in them, thankful not to have to deal with his gloating about her failed love life, or listen to him recount stories about his slaying escapades with Faith. She certainly didn't wish to hear any more about the amount of time Faith spent with Darla.

She listened to her own feet as her boots flattened the grass beneath her feet, leaves rustling and twigs snapping as she veered from the path in one of Sunnydale's smaller graveyards. There was no tingle down her spine, no noises indicating vamp activity or demons plotting. With her hands in her pockets, Buffy took her time, letting the cool night air ruffle her hair and tease at her clothes. She wasn't cold but she shivered anyway, suddenly feeling off, feeling that something wasn't quite right.

The urge to wrap her arms around herself almost made Buffy pull her hands free from her pockets, but she refused to entertain this sudden odd sensation.

Just as she was about to give in and go home her cell phone vibrated under her fingertips and actually made her jump.

Laughing at how silly that was - considering all the things that failed to scare her as they rushed out of dark places in order to end her life - Buffy pulled out her phone and flipped it open. Seeing Giles' number she wondered for a moment if the odd feeling and his call were linked, but she brushed that off as being fanciful and quickly pressed the button to take the call.

"Hey, Giles," she said, knowing she sounded just as solemn as she felt.

"Good evening, Buffy," Giles said briskly, his voice a little tight. "Sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you'd stumbled upon Faith at all tonight, or the last few nights in fact."

Buffy's brow creased as she frowned, hearing the slight shake in Giles' voice. He sounded worried.

"No, I haven't," she replied. "Should I have? Is something wrong?"

Buffy lifted her free hand and wrapped her arm around herself, the cold finally winning out.

"Not wrong I suppose, but. . ."

He paused as if unsure how to explain.

"Just tell me, what is it?"

All kinds of things ran through Buffy's mind, from Faith hurting somebody, to Faith hurting one of her friends, to Faith doing something so bad she'd had to skip town again. . .then finally to something having happened to Faith. Her heart tripped with her last thoughts, a sharp shudder making her almost drop the phone.

"Well it seems – although we can't be sure – but there may be a chance. . ."

"Giles, I'm about to strangle you through the phone, tell me what's wrong," Buffy said harshly, knowing she had to cut through his blabbering.

"Nobody has seen Faith for the past few days. Three days to be exact," he finally spat out.

"What do you mean, nobody has seen her?" Buffy pressed, turning and making her way towards the cemetery gates.

"Just that," he answered. "She hasn't been to the Magic Box to report to me about her patrols, and neither Willow nor Xander have managed to make contact with her. She isn't answering her telephone."

Buffy began to feel panic rising inside her, a twisting sensation nipping at her guts.

"Has anybody been to her apartment?" she asked, rubbing at her forehead as she narrowed her eyes and began making her way towards Faith's building. "Has anything. . .has there been any reports of. . ."

"Are you attempting to ask if Faith has murdered anybody, Buffy?" Giles questioned, sounding extremely annoyed that she could possibly think such a thing now.

"No," Buffy replied, not quite knowing if she meant it or not. "No, I just. . .I know that's not who she is anymore, it's just hard not to jump to conclusions."

Buffy was trying to be honest, and the closer she got to Faith's apartment the more she realised she really didn't think Faith would hurt anybody now. It was unfair of her to make such assumptions.

"There has been no reports of missing people, or anything untoward, Buffy," Giles assured. "She's merely just disappeared."

"That can't be good," Buffy mumbled. She was only a block away now from Faith's place. "Are you sure she didn't tell anybody she was leaving, taking a break, meeting up with somebody?"

"Not a word, and I called Angel just an hour ago. He hasn't heard from her either," Giles told Buffy. "Maybe we're being anxious for no reason, but she hasn't gone a day without popping in to see me. And with Darla still in the picture I'm afraid I'm a little more worried than is probably necessary."

"I understand, Giles," she said, hoping to sooth him a little. It was quite clear he'd grown just as attached to Faith now as everybody else. "I'm almost at her apartment. If she isn't there I'll come over to yours and we'll. . .I don't know, we'll figure something out."

She told him she'd call him back soon and then headed up to Faith's apartment. Worryingly, she discovered that the door was unlocked after knocking and waiting. She pushed it open, her heart beginning to pound. She didn't know what she was expecting, but an empty apartment might have broken her just that bit more than she thought she could take. She didn't want Faith to leave, even though they weren't exactly on speaking terms right now.

The apartment wasn't empty but it was difficult to see if there was anything missing as the lights were off and the moonlight wasn't strong enough to push its way through the window into the room.

Flicking the light switch by the door, Buffy held her breath. The sight before her made her chest tighten. Her hand gripped her cell phone tightly, not knowing how she was going to explain this to Giles.

On every wall there was graffiti. The scrawled ramblings of somebody in an obvious rage. Words full of hate, of vengeance. She read what it said on one wall, repeating the words out loud.

"You deserve to die." It said. "You stole her and you deserve to die."

Similar words defaced the walls and things were broken all around the small space. Buffy felt tears beginning to form in her eyes. She was unsure what she was seeing. Unsure what it meant.

"What the hell happened here?" she muttered to herself.

Quickly, she made her way through the rest of the apartment, seeing the same destruction as she went. There was no visible blood, however. No sign that somebody had been hurt here, or worse.

Hoping that this had happened without Faith's knowledge, Buffy wondered if maybe Faith was in LA with Tru and had just been unfortunate enough to have been burgled, but even as she dialled Tru's number and lifted the cell phone to her ear she knew she was grasping at straws.

"Buffy, hi," Tru answered, sounding confused by the late call, but not dissatisfied.

"Hey," Buffy said, trying to calm her breathing, not wishing to freak Tru out. "Sorry to call so late but, um. . .you haven't seen or heard from Faith in the last few days have you?"

Buffy winced, hoping Tru wouldn't get angry at her for asking about Faith. It was still very much a touchy subject.

"No, I haven't," Tru answered without hesitation. "Why? Has something happened?"

She must have been able to hear the concern in Buffy's voice, her own now sounding worried.

"I'm not sure," Buffy answered. "She hasn't been seen for three days apparently and. . .her apartment looks like it's been trashed. If she calls, please let me know."

"Of course," Tru replied, her breathing indicating that she was fearing the worst.

"Try not to worry, I'm sure she's fine," Buffy tried to reassure, failing miserably.

"Find her, Buffy," Tru pleaded. "She's more vulnerable than she lets on."

The words struck Buffy for a moment and she felt a tear roll down her cheek. Swiping it away, Buffy fought back the emotion threatening to engulf her.

"I know," she said tightly.

She couldn't help but remember that night with Faith in her bed; Faith clinging to Buffy with words of longing, of fear, of guilt and love. Yes, love. Buffy knew she'd heard those words muttered even though she'd tried not to believe or buy in to what Faith had said in her drunken state. The following morning had turned those words into bitter and twisted lies in Buffy's mind, but she knew. . .somehow she knew that Faith loved her. She felt it inside. In her heart.

"I'll find her," Buffy promised.

"She might be difficult sometimes, but I don't want to lose her," Tru admitted. "I think we need each other now. And she needs you."

Swallowing hard, Buffy tried not to let the tears flow. She had to focus on how to find Faith, if indeed she needed finding, but Tru's words made her heart ache. She knew it must have been difficult for Tru to say such a thing, so Buffy did her best to accept the truth.

"I think I need her too," she said quietly, hoping Tru understood.

"Then when you find her, you should tell her," Tru implored.

Tru didn't sound bitter or hurt, she sounded resigned to the fact that love just wasn't so easily ignored or fooled. There was so much between Faith and Buffy, and not all of it was bad. Tru seemed to understand that better than Buffy ever had.

"I will," Buffy accepted, her voice cracking. "I'll call you when I hear anything."

Tru thanked Buffy and then hung up.

Buffy stared at the phone for a moment, her eyes shrouded in tears. She had been so lucky to meet Tru, and given different circumstances she knew they would have been wonderful together. But Faith had wormed her way in to Buffy's heart long before Tru had stumbled onto the scene. The last few months of Buffy's life had read like a tragic romance novel and she wasn't even anywhere near the end of the book yet.

With a sad shake of her head, Buffy pushed her phone back into her pocket and looked around the apartment a little more closely, hoping to find a clue, any clue about Faith's whereabouts.

She found nothing and her anxiety only grew with each passing minute. After a quick call to Giles, she arranged to meet with him – and with Willow and Xander. It didn't take long for them to gather, all of them looking a little awkward and uncomfortable. Buffy knew it was her fault.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around," Buffy said, looking at her feet. "If anything has happened to Faith. . .I know it's my fault."

"How would it be your fault?" Willow asked, stepping close to Buffy and resting a hand on her arm. "We understand that things have been a little crazy, but you haven't done anything to cause this, unless. . .you have."

Buffy looked up sharply into Willow's eyes, seeing the doubt within them.

"No, I didn't do anything," Buffy assured. "But I should have been around more."

"So you didn't say anything that might have made her take off?" Xander asked, sounding as if he really didn't want to believe Buffy would do something like that.

"Of course not," Buffy replied. "I haven't spoken to her, and I don't want her to leave. Things have been hard for me recently but we weren't fighting."

Giles nodded, and both Xander and Willow gave Buffy sympathetic looks. Giles didn't know what had happened with Tru – he didn't even know about Tru as Faith had yet to say anything to him about her – but Buffy's friends knew, they had seen her heart broken and wretched over it all. And then Buffy had distanced herself from them. From everybody.

"Is there anywhere she might have gone? You guys have been hanging out with her, can you think of anywhere?" Buffy asked, not knowing how to even begin looking for Faith.

"No, we've looked everywhere, and called everywhere," Xander replied. "The only lead we have is that she was on to something. Willy said she'd been in asking around about some new demon."

"A new demon? What new demon?" Buffy turned to Giles. She knew she was out of the loop but she'd heard no mention about a new demon that could be causing trouble.

"We're not exactly sure, Buffy," Giles answered. "Faith just had a hunch that. . ."

"That something strange is going on," Buffy finished for him. "I've felt it too. Did she say if there was anywhere she might go looking for this demon? A cemetery? The warehouses?"

"The dock," Xander mumbled, then repeated himself louder. "I heard her say something about the docks, but I didn't think she was going there alone."

"We'll start there," Buffy decided, even though there was only a slim chance that she'd actually even gone there.

"Do you think she got into some kind of trouble?" Willow asked, her eyes wide. "Maybe I should have asked Tara to come. We could both have helped if. . ."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, I'm sure Faith is fine," Giles interrupted. "But we should probably make our way there now."

They all agreed, bundling into Giles' car, trying not to fret too much.

It didn't take long before they were close to the docks, leaving the heat of the car and preparing themselves for. . .well, they didn't know what for. Buffy pulled her stake from her jacket and Giles opened the trunk of the car, grabbing a small axe and throwing it to Xander. Willow stood by looking frightened and worried, but Buffy was aware that Willow was much stronger and more capable than she knew herself to be. Giles pulled out a bag filled with more stakes and some knives, slinging it over his shoulder and nodding to Buffy.

"Just in case," he said.

She grimaced, hoping they were wrong in expecting the worst.

"You guys stay by the car," Buffy instructed. "If I need you I'll yell, but for now there's no point in all of us making a noise through this place."

Buffy stared off into the dark buildings and alleys that bumped up next to the dock. There was one boat tied up; just a small cargo vessel. She thought about asking Giles to follow her but changed her mind. They really didn't know what could be lurking around the corners and she didn't want to put any of them in direct danger. They would act as backup, as always.

Taking a sturdy knife from Giles' bag she set off into the shadows, turning back and telling her friends not to worry. She doubted she'd find Faith here, or any trouble for that matter, but her heart was pounding anyway.

Passing a few buildings, Buffy focused on her slayer senses. She once more had the sensation that something just wasn't quite right, but she pushed that aside and tried to feel for Faith through their connection.

Just as she was beginning to think it was time to turn back, Buffy rounded a very tight corner into an alley strewn with sodden cardboard and old wooden crates. There was a door about half way down, the hinges appearing battered and broken. With a quick glance around, Buffy picked her way over the rubbish in the alley, her heart beating faster as she finally felt that connection to Faith. That feeling she could never quite describe.

She was nearby, possibly within the building that Buffy was approaching.

The sensation grew as Buffy quietly pulled on the broken door. She winced as metal grated against metal, but as soon as she was in she heard voices. She heard a gruff laugh, chains clanking, a man – or possibly a demon – talking in riddles that Buffy could not understand.

Her heart was in her mouth, her fingers gripping tight to the knife in her hand. She realised too late that she should have brought something larger.

Pushing silently through another doorway in the dim, dark building, Buffy suppressed a cough as dust floated up into her face. She was temporarily blinded as it clouded her vision, but as soon as she stepped further into the next room she saw a body on the floor – twisted and broken. Certainly dead. Her gasp barely suppressed, she registered only momentarily that it was Darla before her eyes flicked up and she saw the demon.

For a moment she thought her heart had stopped, all thoughts flying from her head, all ability to move drifting from her limbs.

It was Riley. She was sure it was Riley but he was enormous. Grotesque. His arms bulged, flesh green and scaly in parts, eyes red, metal and skin fused over half of his face. She knew it was him. Knew because he had Faith in his hands, a heavy chain slowly tightening around her neck as he spat vile words in her face.

"You're nothing," he snarled, meaty fingers holding Faith down. "Buffy is not yours. Buffy is. . .Buffy is. . ."

He couldn't speak through his anger and as Faith struggled Buffy saw his muscles flex more firmly, squeezing the chain tighter around Faith's neck. Buffy froze long enough for Faith's eyes to suddenly find hers. Long enough for Faith to push against Riley a little harder, with all she had left.

Buffy saw then that Faith had her fingers between the chain and her neck, but it was still biting into her flesh, still on the verge of choking the life out of her. With a shake of her head Buffy woke herself up, her own anger now coursing through her veins as she assessed her choices. Riley hadn't yet noticed her entrance at least.

"I'll snap your neck," Riley grunted at Faith with a hideous laugh. "Snap you in two. I've seen you with her. Seen you. . ."

Buffy knew she had to move fast but smart. If she lunged at him with just a knife he was liable to break Faith's neck before she did any damage at all; his flesh didn't even look human anymore. She had seconds. Seconds to make her choice.

As quietly as she could, Buffy bent and wrapped her fingers around a length of metal pole, its jagged end looking lethal enough to kill this monster that had once been her boyfriend. Now all she had to do was plunge it into his chest. She had to be careful, though. One false move and he could kill Faith. One false move and the pole could pass right through him and into Faith.

Her hands were shaking and she knew any mistake would be fatal. Looking into Faith's watery eyes one last time, Buffy straightened up with the pole. The scraping noise it made instantly drew Riley's attention, though his hands remained hard and fast on Faith.

"No!" he growled, pulling Faith closer to him, her body limp as her eyes began to close through lack of oxygen.

Buffy couldn't strike now without damaging Faith further.

"Put her down, Riley," she snapped, her whole body eager to rip him apart for how he was hurting Faith.

"All you had to do was love me," he droned, his voice breaking into a demonic growl.

She had to take a chance. She had to take him down now before it was too late. Faith couldn't hold on any longer.

As she lifted the pole, aiming for his chest, he lifted Faith from her knees and tightened his hands around her neck.

"No!" Buffy yelled. "Don't kill her!"

She struck, but he was quick. She felt the pole swiped aside, the strength of the blow shaking up her arms and rattling her whole body.

In an instant Faith could be dead.

"No!" Buffy cried again, a deep sob bursting from her lungs.

**Continued in the final part ...to be posted very soon...**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

Everything happened so fast. Buffy's best weapon was far out of reach, the distance between herself and Riley too far to bridge before Faith would be dead, but there was a clang behind her and more dust suddenly poured through the door. In the blink of an eye Buffy saw a shape move into the doorway. It raised something, pointed at Riley. A whooshing noise preceded a guttural growl from Riley's throat and Faith dropped heavily to the floor.

Riley clutched at his neck, an arrow embedded deep within its thick mass. Blood was pouring across his exposed chest and Buffy felt momentarily sick. This was Riley. He had been human. He had once been kind, gentle. Now he was falling to his knees, a stricken look in his bulging eyes.

Ignoring the guilt in her chest Buffy rushed towards Faith's limp body on the floor. She pushed at Riley, knocking him sideways, wanting to check on Faith before she finished him off. He sloped away into a corner, leaving her room to pull at the chains around Faith's neck, tugging them free.

"Faith!" Buffy called, holding Faith's face in her hands. "Please, don't. . ."

Faith's eyes fluttered open, her mouth opening to take in much needed breaths. She was alive. Hurt but alive.

"Don't mind me," Spike said as he stepped out from the doorway.

In his hands he held a crossbow, and on his face was the smuggest grin Buffy had ever seen. She wanted to rush up to him and kiss that grin for saving Faith, but that would have been all kinds of gross so she thanked him instead for now, giving him her genuine gratitude.

"It was nothing," Spike gloated. "Big, bad demon like that. . .well, it's nothing that a smart vampire like myself can't handle."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I'm never gonna hear the end of it, huh," she grumbled as Faith tried to chuckle. "Give me a hand with her," Buffy instructed.

She put her hands under Faith's arms, helping her to her feet, but Faith was too weak to stand. With Spike's assistance they were able to sit her on a rather grubby looking desk and Buffy tried to check her everywhere at once for wounds.

"B, you don't have to keep gropin' me like that," Faith forced out, her voice rough and quiet. "Though it is kinda distracting me from the completely unarousing kinky stuff your ex was trying to do to me with those chains."

"Stop talking," Buffy told her, practically feeling the pain in Faith's throat as if it were her own.

"So bossy," Faith quipped, giving a nod to Spike as he grumbled an agreement.

"This is no time for banter and witty remarks, you're hurt, you could have been. . ." Buffy felt tears sting her eyes as she gently placed her fingertips on the bruises around Faith's neck.

"I'm ok, B," Faith assured, though Buffy was almost certain there were also tears in her eyes. "Just glad you showed up when you did."

"We'll talk about all that later. Giles is waiting with his car," Buffy said, letting Faith drop her feet to the floor. She placed her arm around Faith's waist and took most of her weight.

As they turned, ready to get Faith to safety, a final gurgle left Riley's lips.

"I'm sorry," he uttered, his red eyes now his normal colour, the softness in them showing through whatever had happened to him.

His head slumped, his last breath shuddering from his body. Buffy felt a mix of emotions she wasn't ready to deal with just yet. She'd come back and deal with his body later. Deal with the pain and the guilt. At least Spike had saved her the job of having to kill him; she knew she'd always be secretly grateful to him for that small mercy. At some point, somebody somewhere would pay for what they'd done to Riley, but that was for another day.

"Let's get out of here," Buffy said, moving Faith towards the door.

"Darla," Faith mumbled, her gaze landing on Darla's body. "She didn't turn to dust when he killed her."

"We'll come back for her," Buffy said. "We'll bury her."

"Thank you," Faith all but whispered. "She was just trying to help."

Buffy saved her thoughts about that for later. There would be a lot of explaining to do. A lot of talking that Faith wouldn't be up to right now because of her throat. She felt tears begin to float in her eyes again and cursed her weakness for Faith. There certainly was no denying now what she felt for the other slayer. She loved her, cared for her, and wanted to protect her.

When they reached Giles and the others a flurry of movement ensued. Faith was placed in to the car, refusing a trip to the hospital in favour of just going home. Slayer healing would get to work quickly, and a good nights rest really was probably all that was needed, but Buffy understood Giles' concern. There would be no arguing, however, Faith would not budge on the decision.

Turning to Spike, who wouldn't be able to fit into the car with them, Buffy stepped close to him, noticing for the first time a gentleness to his eyes that he couldn't hide this night.

"Thank you, Spike," she told him again. "For once I'm glad you were stalking me."

"I wasn't stalking, I was. . .yunno, I just happened to be in the area and. . ."

"You were stalking," Buffy said with a slight smile.

"Yeah well, the other slayer had disappeared on me so I got bored. Can't blame a chap for wanting to help out, though."

"No, I can't, and you did help," Buffy said, her smile wider now. "I'll come back and move his body and deal with Darla. Could you stay here a while and make sure nobody gets to them first?"

"I'll do better than that, seeing as I'm such a nice guy and all," he said with a glint in his eye. "I'll dump Riley in the water and bring Darla back with me. I know a little spot in the cemetery that just might suit her."

He sounded wistful, almost sad, but he was soon smirking again as he hefted his crossbow up to his shoulder and turned to head back to the bodies.

"I think I deserve a little insight into your slayer-on-slayer activities, though, after all this good deed stuff," he called back over his shoulder. "Maybe some piccies of you two in. . ."

"Not gonna happen, Spike," Buffy interrupted him with a chuckle.

For one thing, she really doubted there would be anymore slayer-on-slayer action. Too much had happened. Too many lies had fallen between them.

With a sigh Buffy headed for the car, climbing into the back next to Faith, only just resisting the urge to pull her into her arms. She allowed her heart to hope just a fraction as Faith's head rested gently against her shoulder, but she couldn't get carried away.

During the ride back into Sunnydale's centre Faith was able to explain – slowly and with some difficulty - how she'd tracked Riley with Darla's help to the old warehouse he'd been holed up in. Apparently they'd been working together after Darla had expressed a desire to right some of the wrongs she'd done. Buffy felt awful for having judged Darla and her intentions so harshly, but how could she have known? Jealousy had coloured her opinion.

Once they'd discovered that Riley was a real threat, they'd decided to let Giles know, but before that could happen he'd kidnapped them with the help of some less than pleasant vampires he'd been feeding from. Riley had kept them for two days before losing his patience with Darla, then finally choosing just to kill Faith instead of lure Buffy to him with her.

Apparently Faith had done all she could to anger him so that he couldn't use her to ensnare Buffy.

She'd put her own life on the line.

All the information had Buffy's head spinning, her thoughts in disarray. There could have been so many bad conclusions to the tale had Riley gotten his way. She closed her eyes, dropping her cheek onto that top of Faith's head, unable to still the throbbing in her heart at just the thought of losing Faith.

"And I didn't sleep with Darla, B," Faith added quietly so only Buffy would hear. "She was just. . .easy to be around."

Buffy felt her heart squeeze in her chest. Jealousy was not a pretty colour on her and she was glad she wouldn't have to now think the worst, not that it was really her business if Faith had slept with Darla or not. At least now she wouldn't have to wonder about it and twist herself into knots.

She almost chuckled to herself; if somebody had told her months before that she would be feeling this way about Faith she would have called them insane. It certainly was insane to suggest that she'd ever allow herself to care for Faith in the way she was now. But Buffy had to accept that things had changed. She'd changed just as much as Faith seemed to have.

As the car neared Faith's apartment, Buffy suddenly realised that Faith wouldn't be able to stay there. She wasn't sure if Faith knew that her place was in a state so she gently shook Faith from her light slumber, trying to look into her eyes in the dimly lit car.

"Faith," Buffy said, smiling briefly when Faith's eyes blinked open. "Did you know that your apartment has been. . .well, kinda trashed?"

"Trashed?" Faith questioned sleepily. "What do you mean?"

She lifted her head from Buffy's shoulder, ignoring the curious gaze from Willow beside them.

"I mean it looks like Riley took out a few frustrations on your possessions, and your walls," Buffy answered.

"Oh great," Faith mumbled.

"It's ok, we'll help you fix the place up," Willow cut in, nodding her head vigorously.

Buffy realised that they really would, all of them, including her.

"Will I be able to stay there tonight?" Faith asked with a slight cough.

With a shake of her head Buffy answered, "I don't think so." She paused only a moment before taking a leap. "You could stay with me. . .if you wanted. I mean, we could work something out or. . ."

"Yeah," Faith answered, looking slightly puzzled at her own answer, but optimistic. "Thanks."

Buffy thought that Faith seemed confused; maybe wondering why she'd accepted so readily. Buffy was just as confused, but she wasn't going to second guess herself now. She wanted to be there for Faith this time.

"I'll take a look at the place tomorrow, Faith," Xander offered. "We'll have it ship shape in no time."

"Ok, but don't go crazy, I might just get a new place," Faith said, looking sleepy again. "Too many bad memories there anyway."

Buffy felt a pang of guilt and slid her arm around Faith's shoulders, pleasantly surprised when Faith closed her eyes and fell further against her without hesitation.

They gave Giles instructions to go to Buffy's dorm and they arrived just as Faith's eyes fluttered open once again. Helping Faith out of the car, Buffy reassured Giles that she would call him if they needed anything or if Faith took a turn for the worse. He also informed her that he would check to ensure Spike had disposed properly of Riley, vowing to help Buffy discover what had happened to him.

She said goodnight and thank you to her friends – knowing they would have many questions tomorrow - with Faith giving them a wave and her own thanks. It felt odd watching them drive away leaving just the both of them standing alone together, but Buffy fought back the slight rumble of panic threatening her and began helping Faith to her room.

They walked in silence, Faith leaning on Buffy less and less as they went. She was already gaining strength.

When they closed the door behind them, safely in Buffy's room things suddenly became awkward and strained. Buffy didn't know what to say, plucking her phone from her pocket and remembering that she had to call Tru.

"Tru will be worried, I'd called asking if you were there," Buffy explained, indicating the cell phone in her hand as Faith sat gingerly on the chair by the desk. "Do you want to speak to her?"

"No," Faith declined, "you should. My voice is pretty beat."

Buffy nodded and understood; Faith didn't feel comfortable talking to Tru with Buffy's so near.

It only took a few minutes for Buffy to reassure Tru that Faith would be ok, and that she would make sure she got plenty of rest. Tru also reminded Buffy that she should tell Faith how she feels. Buffy muttered that she would, her cheeks going a little red as Faith watched her out of the corner of her eye.

"Tru says hello, and that she's happy you're ok," Buffy told Faith once she ended the call. "She also said that you need to stop getting into trouble."

Faith chuckled, shaking her head.

Buffy wanted to push and ask how things were between Faith and Tru, but she decided not to go there quite yet. They'd talk about it all in good time, she was sure.

"You should rest now," Buffy continued when she noticed Faith's heavy eyelids.

She was still perched precariously on Buffy's desk chair, looking completely uncomfortable and out of place. She watched as Faith's gaze flicked to the bed, then to the floor, Faith's shoulders drooping. Buffy saw shame on her face and instantly wanted to stop the dark thoughts forming in Faith's mind.

"We've both made mistakes," Buffy said quietly, hoping to draw Faith's eyes back to her own.

"We have," Faith agreed. She paused a moment before continuing, the rasp to her voice making Buffy's skin tingle. "Just so you know. . .I don't count sleeping with you as a mistake, but the note. . .that was a fucking huge one."

Not knowing what to say to that, Buffy wrapped her arms around herself, trying not to feel once again the sting of the harsh words on that note the morning after they'd lain naked and sated in each other's arms. She dropped her own gaze to the floor, willing words from her mouth that would ease this tension. None came.

"I didn't mean it," Faith finally said after what felt like forever. Buffy looked up and instantly felt warmed by Faith's soft, brown eyes they held her own. "It meant. . .it meant more to me than just a fuck, just a. . ."

"I know," Buffy soothed, realising that she did know. She knew Faith had just been trying to hurt her back the way that she was hurting because of Tru. "Can we. . .can we start again?"

Buffy's heart skipped in her chest as she said the words. As she willed them both to take another chance.

Stepping closer to Faith, Buffy waited for Faith's response, seeing moisture ready to spill from Faith's eyes. She reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair away from Faith's brow. She wanted to take Faith in her arms, but they both needed to know where they stood, and where they were headed.

"I'd kinda like that," Faith finally responded, her voice cracking not only from the soreness in her throat.

As the tension threatened to engulf them both, Buffy forced herself not to grin like an idiot. This was by no means going to be easy.

"Ok, good," Buffy muttered, finding it difficult to keep her hands to herself.

She could see that Faith was growing ever tired, however. She really did need to sleep.

"Do you want to shower before going to bed?" Buffy asked, getting to the business at hand of finding a way for them both to get more comfortable, though she imagined that she'd have to sleep on the floor to allow Faith to stay in her bed.

"Yeah, I need one, do you mind?"

"Of course not, I have a clean towel and you can use my shampoo and stuff," Buffy said, quickly moving around the room to collect what Faith might need. "I have some sweat pants and a tee shirt too if you want."

Faith smiled up at Buffy, more than a hint of confusion in her eyes. She was probably wondering why Buffy was being so accommodating. It almost made Buffy want to laugh, then cry, but the tragedy of all they'd lost and all they'd done to each other kept her from confusing Faith even more.

She waited as Faith went to shower away the grime of being held hostage for two days, pacing in her small room. She'd offered to help Faith but Faith had just raised an eyebrow and told Buffy that she would manage. A blush had crept over Buffy's cheeks at the thought of helping Faith shower, but Faith had thankfully ignored it with nothing more than a small smirk.

Buffy had to keep her mind out of the gutter and on their friendship. If they couldn't be friends, then they certainly couldn't be anything more than that, so it was important for Buffy not to blur the lines, even though she wanted to.

"That feels so much better," Faith said with a sigh as she came back into the room, throwing her towel over the back of the chair.

Her hair was still damp but she didn't look as if she'd be able to stay on her feet much longer. Riley had run her ragged, and the bruises still visible around her throat made Buffy want to soothe them with soft kisses.

"Get into bed, Faith," Buffy instructed, pulling back the covers for her and shaking any kissing thoughts from her head.

"You sure?" Faith asked, taking a tentative step forward.

"There's no point in being shy now, Faith," Buffy answered with a warm smile. "I think we should both be way past that at least."

But Buffy's words didn't quite ring true as she felt just as shy. Not long ago she'd had Faith in this bed. She'd had her face buried between Faith's thighs, had Faith clinging to her as they writhed together. Still, everything was different now and this was a new start.

"You're right," Faith agreed, a small grin lifting the corner of her lips as she got a twinkle in her eye.

Before Buffy could worry about that twinkle, Faith pulled off the tee shirt and sweat pants Buffy had given her and climbed into bed completely naked. She left the covers pulled back, her upper body completely visible and completely distracting.

"Thought you said we shouldn't be shy," Faith mocked, snuggling to one side of the bed. "Now get in, I'm gettin' cold."

"Get in?" Buffy stammered. "With you?"

"There's nobody else here, Twinkie," Faith reminded Buffy.

Buffy blinked, unable to quite wrap her mind around all the night's events enough to understand just how she was now stood by her bed with Faith naked and waiting within it.

"I can just sleep on the floor or. . ."

"Buffy, seriously, just get in here," Faith implored.

The look of hope, of vulnerability in Faith's eyes decided Buffy's fate. She turned her back and quickly undressed, ignoring Faith's chuckle as she tried to hide her modesty, pulling on the tee shirt Faith had discarded.

She switched off the lights and got in to bed beside Faith, doing her best not to get too close, though the bed was far too small for her efforts not to seem ridiculous.

"Relax, B," Faith urged.

"I'm trying," Buffy practically whined. "This isn't exactly. . .relaxing."

Faith chuckled, turning fully towards Buffy.

Buffy could feel Faith's breath on her face, the heat from her body so close it made her want to eliminate the distance between them so she could feel it against her skin. But it was far too soon for those kinds of thoughts, and Faith's eyes were now drifting shut anyway.

"Shut up and get closer," Faith said, her voice low as she reached out with a hand, pulling Buffy to her. "I'm too fuckin' tired to argue, or to think."

With a shudder, Buffy pressed herself closer to Faith, instantly regretting her choice to put a tee shirt on. It was extremely nice to have Faith so near, their legs entwining under the covers, Faith's hand sliding a little way under her top to rest against Buffy's lower back.

Pushing past the obvious arousal such close proximity with Faith caused, Buffy did all she could to relax, bringing her hand up to tuck Faith's hair behind her ear as she gazed at her face in the dim light of the moon.

She wanted to kiss Faith's eyelids, her cheeks, the soft corners of her mouth.

"Are you really here?" Buffy heard herself ask.

"Only if you want me to be," Faith answered sleepily, keeping her eyes closed.

"I want you to be."

"Then I'm here," Faith said, her lips lifting ever so slightly in a smile.

"Good," Buffy whispered, thinking about what Tru had said; to be honest with Faith. "I need you."

Faith took a deep breath, her hand pulling Buffy even tighter against her. Their faces were close and there was only a brief pause, a brief stutter in time before their lips brushed together, soft, slow. The full lips against Buffy's sent a flood of warmth through her and she embraced it, knowing it was far more than desire.

They parted; just enough for Buffy to take a breath, to tell Faith what she should have told her long ago.

"I love you, Faith," she whispered against Faith's lips, feeling those lips curl into a smile before she accepted another tender caress from them.

They kissed softly until Buffy was sure Faith was almost asleep, their bodies relaxed and entangled, their hearts beating against one another. She felt like they could finally truly escape from the clutches of their shared history. She felt content. Hopeful.

"I love you too," Faith murmured into Buffy's neck as her breaths slowed and she allowed sleep to fully claim her. "Always."

Buffy's heart soared. She could ask no more from Faith than that.

They finally both understood each other.

Somehow, they would be ok.

**The End.**

**Thank you so , so much to everybody that took the time to leave feedback :) You make fic worth it. **


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